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Show Love and Marriage, Love and Marriage (Still go together like a horse and carriage) quets, and wedding cakes, and young men still look for the girl of their dreams to have and to hold. What alxMit marriage today? Must romance die after the vows are said? Do spouses feel trapped and fettered? Does . that piece of paper, the marriage license, really make that much difference? b there such a thing as love-a- t first sight? Can it endure? by Margaret VanNoy Profile Writer After nearly a decade of widespread publicity extolling the "virtues", Joys and freedoms of the union, and the "move in together" era, the pendulum is Ireginuing to swing back toward the establishment practice ot saying ' I do liefore a preacher or the justice of the peace. AND WITH the reluctant but slow acquiescence of the molders of magazine surveys, questionnaires and quizzes bent on proving marriage as the nuinlier-on- e failure of the century, has come the startling realization that the majority of the populace were marriage prone all the time. ITS TRl'E. Despite the blatant call of the blue jeans generation of casual dress, manners, and modes, young girls still dream of white satin and lace, bridal bou ON THIS Valentines Day, Profiles ran its own poll asking traditionally married couples such questions as What makes a good marriage?" "What are some of the adjustments and problems marriage partners meet? "How do successful marriages meet and overcome these difficulties?" We found a positive attitude toward marriage. We found that marriage is here to stay. We found that marriage is for lovers. Her Husband Conies First "If we had to live our married life over again, we couldnt do any better," said Ray and Virginia Geldmacher. Weve had a lot of sickness and accidents, but still the life we have had with each other could not lie improved. THE COUPLE believes firmly in marriage. Theirs has been a working partnership for over 46 years - a partnership in more ways than one. For Ray and Viriginia there has never leen any other from the time they first set eyes on each other when he was 23 and she was 20. It was one of those rare romances that has endured and deepened. Virginia saw Ray first. She walked into a wrestling match while visiting in dover."There wasThisTiuge crowd of' men, but one stood out. He was the only one I wanted to meet SHE COT her chance the next day when she saw him walking down the street with some friends of hers. She contrived to lie outside in the yard emptying the garbage at just the right time. As soon as they were introduced, they spent most of the next three weeks together. At the end of that time, Ray asked Virginia if he could give her an en- gagement ring. They were married in six months. Looking back at the 47 years, the said that communication between married partners is essential to a happy marriage. THEY SAID letting each other know how you feel about everything is important. Let the other know what your worries or concerns are, said Ray. If your partner doesnt know what offends you, how can he change his ways? I think women especially have the idea that they are the only ones in marriage who get their feelings hurt, but thats not always the case, Virginia said. The men get their feelings hurt just as often. Always be concerned about your husband's feelings. Religion has played an important part in the Geldmachers life - especially prayer, Virginia said. I think that if a couple kneels together and each takes his turn in prayer, it cements the marriage. When you pray, you pour out your concerns and hopes for your mate. This cant help bringing you closer to one another. SHARING is the key word to marital success, they said. The Celdmachers have five children, 20 grandchildren ht a Geld-mache- rs and seven great- grandchildren. We have always enjoyed our children," they said and spoke of many family out ings. We believed in taking the children with us as often as ' possible. Your children are precious to you, Virginia said, but your husband comes first. Children are going to grow up and move away, but hopefully, your husband will always be with you. The fact that Virginia almost lost Ray in an automobile accident ten years ago her appreciate him even more." makes THE Celdmachers were partners in more ways than one. They met during the depression years. Ray was from Ohio and got a job working with the railroad in Wendover. Later, when the couple got a chance to buy a grocery and hardware store, they took it. They worked hard at their business, and they worked hard at their marriage. It was long hours, and though we had been together all day, we still needed time to relax together, she said. After the children were in bed, we would go for a ride, just to be alone together. We love to explore, and we always figured if we got lost, it wouldnt matter. The couple is still exploring, still keeping their romance alive. When I was 12 years old, Virginia said, I was walking down a lane with a friend. I said The man I marry will have to sing When Your Hair Hat Turned To Silver to me. I forgot about it, but years later while we were riding in a rumble seat Ray sang that song to They Have 'Vigorous Discussions Young Dave Schmid looked at the tall willowly blond named Maxine and thought to himself, I pity the guy that marries that girl. Hes going to have his problems money can bring to a marriage. Sometimes money is not really the cause although it gets the blame. . .There are times when couples cant talk about other deep-seate- hands full. IIE WAS right: he has. The lady has been a delightful handful and more for over 19 years of wedding bliss. The two met at a bam dance in Bern, Idaho. He was home for the weekend from the University of Utah. She was up from Salt Lake City, visiting relatives in the lit- d problems, but they can talk alrout money. The couple have always budgeted their money and have saved. When they were first married, lie was still a student. Although she was working, Dave insisted they live on his allowance and save Maxine's wages toward a house. THEY have followed what Dave terms forced saving habits ever since. Raises are not realized, but saved; charging is taboo unless there is enough money to cover tle Idaho town. THEIR first date was 1 rased on a fluke. Another girl had her eye on Dave and wanted to ask him to the Valentines purchases, and couples donate to themselves as they would to a charity. . dance but was too shy. The Schmids have many similar interMaxine was not. She called Dave and told him there was a gal who wanted to ests. They do everything together take him to the dance but was too timid to whether it is gardening, pounding nails, or dishes. "Wherever one is, the ask. Dave has hesitant and demanded to washing is too, they said. other was. know who the girl They also like live theatre, camping, Its me, she said flippantly on an imcooking, music and reading. gourmet pulse. He accepted immediately. WEVE found that a lot of television DAVE was such a gracious and smooth person, Maxine said. "He had po-- watching doesnt add to a happy home. V fun inP ? do l,ike lish. Having lived in Europe for a time, he There arc,so Robbie and Ritchie with children always wore coats and hats when the Pmes Dave said '"stead, other fellows did not. He would bring The Pressures of business and church flowers and candy and you really felt like P1 VVbf " Dave ,hLe arf 6 you were being courted. Dave thought Maxine was sharp. She ' a bLshoP- - mJuch ofur faI h e loge,h1er w Pen doing things like cleaning the was so organized and efficient, and she had sparkle he said. She had what you bank, and attending weddings or funerals. We made those occasions into pleasant might call a devil in her eye. Something with to visit " opportunities said, "Shes the one. He decided she would make a good friends, Maxine said. Of course, the two have their differwife, mother. . . and lover. ences also. In disciplining children, he EVEN though weve had our rough she is more authoritarian. ' times and stress, our married life has been or organization has allowed smooth compared to most couples, said ' them to accomplish much in a short time;4' MaxindT" In other words, chimed in Dave, his slower pace has let time heal many a Weve spent many a long night having situation. According to Maxine, a sense of humor what we call vigorous discussions. is crucial to a marriage and Dave's has Schmids communicathat The agreed I tion is vital to a happy marriage. Silence saved many a difficult day. les a tease, said. she is deadly, Maxine said. If you want to BUT whatever the differences the coukill a happy union, dont talk. Id rather ple believes in a united front and see tempers and words. DAVE termed early marriage period as compromise. Dave still courts laxine, and on this a frictiony time when you cant underValentines Day as on all others she can stand why your spouse cant see things the to receive a rose from him as a triexpect do. way you In his work as a banker, Dave sees the bute to her role in a successful marriage. Cooking is a new adventure for Diane Bevan. Husband Scott is good natured about trying out his brides cooking. now, and sometimes we put things hack close to our children because we want on the shelves. them to come to us, not somebody else. "Nowadays people think that womans LEARNINC to share plays a big part in is in the home, and it is her responsisaid. place includes This things marriage they Scott continued, but the husband bility, married. before were Im had you you v should You help out, too, especially if the wife still saying my car, Scott said. works. If Diane is sick or has to leave for have to learn to sacrifice when you jet wo'rk, Scott c6oks and washes the dishes. married, they both said. Trust is important. Scott sometimes of know value the to money Getting leaves for his job at the International was one of the biggest adjustments for the Center as early as 3 a.m. and then fills Bevans. When you start paying the bills, church assignments as soon as he gets it really makes you appreciate your parhome. I never worry about him. Diane ents. Even though our parents comsaid. stil about managed money, they plained MEETING at home after a hard days to give us most of what we asked for, work can be challenging for a couple. said. Diane The Bevans learned to budget. When Diane said Scotts sense of humor and being able to joke about things makes it we first got married, we took money for easier. for worked some had time Scott . , granted. We discuss together; we make deciand always had plenty of money. He never ' ' ' bothered to keep his check book up, she sions together. It helps a lot. said. The Bevans have some difficult times WE STARTED out just spending in the future, .but they feel prepared to money, and then we found out we only meet them. Scott is waiting to be accepthad so much. It was hard for us to realize ed to morticians school, and this takes that sometimes you have to make a choice some planning when you are starting a between buying Sprite and milk, Scott new family, but the Bevans have confisaid. We take a calculator to the store dence in the future and in their marriage. Jus Talkin me. TODAY the sentiments of that song still hold true. Whatever the years ahead bring us, well take. Weve had a real good life, they said. Ah, yes, Valentines Day is for lovers like Ray and Virginia Geldmacher. by Margaret VanNoy What Is A Husband? or f(ffWhal Are Husbands Good Husbands. For?) . . Have great backsfor putting your coldfeet on, on a winters night. Are good for scratching that spot in the middle of your back that you cant reach. tion. Are never there when the car stops in the middle of the intersec- Are good for holding pictures up on the wall or moving furniture around while you make up your mind. Always come home from the store with paint remover, malt balls and pickled pigs feet when you sent them after laundry soap and yeast Pressures interfere with courtship after marriage, but Dave and Maxine Schmid have learned to make the most of their time together. , cakes. He Sent Her Roses Although they have been married only 'five months, Scott and Diane Bevan had many thoughts and ideas on how to keep a good marriage good. BE SURE of the one you marry, they said. Make sure you really love them. How can you tell you really love another person? You just have a feeling, said Diane. When we first talked about marriage, we decided to work at keeping that special feeling we had then. We continue to do special things for each other. We have really never fought, they declared. Hie couple said they try not to keep things from each other. If theres a problem, we bring it out in the open and dont let things build up. ' It was love at first sight for Mr. and Mrs. Ray Geldmacher who have been married for nearly 47 years. DIANE credits Scott with the smoothness of their relationship. He is so easy to get along with. He never argues, he just doesnt have a temper. The couple first met on a blind date. He didnt talk much, Diane said, but he was so thoughtful. I was attracted to him from the first. Scott sent Diane roses after that first date. She was impressed. I liked her personality, Scott said, I liked being with her. She was just the kind of girl Id been looking for. DIANE went back to school at BYU, and much of the romance was carried on by phone. He would call every Wednesday at 11:30, and wed talk for hours.-had $90 phone bills, Scott added. They met on Feb. 18 and were married in September. THE BEVANS feel that having the same standards and goals helps their marriage. Belonging to the same church is a big part of it, they said. They were married in the LDS temple and feel this gives them standards and makes them work harder at making marriage a success. They both wanted children right away. We re not waiting for enough money or a house. They have the same ideas on how to raise and care for children. We see the problems with kids now, and we feel much of them come about because kids cant talk to their parents. We want to be I Make good plumbers, mechanics, and electricians. Are great for eating your crumbling cakes, overdone, roasts, burned toast, and leftovers three days in a row. Make good sounding boards while you complain about spilled milk, dirty diapers, and overflowing plumbing. Know when that look in your eyes means keep out of my way. A re good at kissingand making up. Are great for calling your wrinkles laugh lines. Make you feel sexy by whistling at you or pinching you when you get dressed up. - Make you feel good by buying your slacks a size too small and your sweaters a size too large. The whole world seems empty when theyre not there. Make the whole day worthwhile with a kiss and a hug whenever they come home. Make you feel great when they do nice things for their mothers, widows or little girls, or when they offer you a shoulder to cry on when you lose out as president ofyour club, or when they go on a diet with you. Fill up the largest part ofyour heart. Having one around the house is better than a kiss from Clark Cable, a waltz with Fred Asiaire.'ora date with' Paul Newman. Happy Valentine's Day "f To All Husbands - ( especially mine ) ' ( |