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Show THE SALT LAKE TRIBUNE, TUESDAY MORNING, MARCH '5, 1929. alt s a! pibmw Baler lake Triton ft I Sells eaS V atmumiiMtiwtrnnuMiniMwn a at tbe pwMUa u M C:t alas atatM. Sea Las rMSUstaias IM mm MorM (cmckiitioni Saaaer. eae reef aa miUi Dallr u Bn. aod Tae ibm rawn tppti la Pteh. niw ) HSSS (. efMniuKiUi It St HihImi k IM 0um4 aulas. Dallr end Bun iter. roe TiiWue U i Hk la iwi lamortaDt city la laeUnlud aieise, Baseer Bar em at tetrahanina inu etriee. Mmun uwi la I a mbU at U AssousUS Fmt. The AecI.wd Ftss U an mm batMa eramted ta as eat eauuea him wpreeacuea auMiibMl Berela. i I "TiTra 4 exciu-sNe- is wi (Ma Itx lecsl am af ths audit Buns ot cTrsulstlon. a Cluse In, at it a awW e Tas lat.aOO Group at Amine H York. fc.i hetlfc Siiesial Sre nsr eestsra adnrtisias 0. at da. raulw Miawmi tetania. Chauk at. Laais. Mrau. oil, Ailante; a o wmmuiiH Baa frsosisce. te Snaeias. ImuIi. fanlaad ". rHtln'ttiMM at Inloreieuge of Tl Tfibuh ere: Ka I aerlee. raris. rrs&eej MS raU aiaik I ar tvm. -'- !I Unset Ota Uadea. Berlin. Oersenf i SucalHor Haul. I Wberwis cnattsd la this mm, en TiK TriauM B I sWwrai!f rStt uU liuu M " TIERBERT Address. HOOVER Is now the United president before the set has and States, people the objects and almi of his administration. Peace and prohibition 'enforcement were the most striking features of the Inaugural address, and the new 'chief executive hammered home hi Ideas with a considerable amount of force. of s a . Mr. Hoover declared his .belief that "no more potent , - i I i i H O X instru- mentality tor the pacific settle- -' ment of controversies between nations than the world court has ever been conceived," and that "no other is practicable of establishment." He also, de clared that the acceptance of the recent treaty for the renun elation of war "should pave the war to greater limitation of armament, the offer of which we sincerely extend to the world." Be concluded his advocacy of the world court by savins; that "the reservations placed upon our", adherence should not be The United misinterpreted. States seeks by these reservations no special prlvtlet e or advantage, but only to clarify our relation to advisory opinions and other matters which are subsidiary to the major purposes of jPUlSE ' I the Diax government nearly a score of years ago 'Mexico has been In almost constant turmoil. One president after another has been assassinated, and many thousands of Mexicans have met miserable deaths from one cause or another. The Mexicans appear to be unand it fit for will take years of effort to educate them up to the poldt where they will be able to organize and maintain a stable government. A dictatorship is apparently .the only solution of the present critical situation south of the Rio Orande. ... . - Census Plans. CLABORATE plans for taking the next census In the United States are well under way at the national capital The work of counting will not begin until the first of November this year o next April, the senate and house being so far unable to agree upon the exact date. In advance of the actual count, the probable population of Utah has been placed at 548,000, showing an increase of about 100,000 since the count was made in 1920. The population of Salt Uke City U estimated at 140,000. in addition to taking a cen sus of the population, the enumerators will also take a census of distribution which la designed to disclose the amount of business dona annually through aaliaU C aa t ta Tas Pa aaS aM aa ami sat aarSt tst tat aaatt tat. mm aa aatrta ai U artut tta ta wimiitiiMiiiiiniiiiHiium BETIEEMENT. (Prom the Springfield Republican.) . A president of the United States after Uw expiration of bis public service In the White House should for the rest ot his life retirement allowance of not leas than S15,-6a year. That Tha Republican has Mr. Cooi-Wespecially In mind is true, yet bis is by no means to be reIt Is not garded as "necessitous." because Mr. Coolidse is without prito earn be unable will means or vate an income in private Ufe that the subject of the maintenance of former presidents in suitable dignity is presented. Mr. Cootldge's case is simply one more in the long list of retired presidents, some of whom were wealthy and some of whom were not but all of whom deserved better treatment from congress than was ever accorded to them. Consider recent times. An invalid completely helpless, Mr. Wilson had virtually nothing of bis own; the fortune was his wile's. Mr. Taft found teaching in a lav school, lecturing and writing a desirable if not an indispensable means of support priorto his elevation to the chief justiceship. Mr. Cleveland did not heighten his reputation by accepting s rather ornamental position at a large salary with a life Insurance company, but he had to live. General Orant's efforts to be a financier In Wall street were trade. Aid came to him from con gress belatedly because he could be regarded as a former general of the army, retired. - . Every president commands the army and navy by virtue of. his of flee. The constitution makes him TH ' M a af mS ItlU. ta ti'lmi awuaa whm IS ariitt aa CMl aattiaatlti utttat Ol'B PRESIDENTS IN at SMattatas M aaatt ai V tatatlir la la iikattS ta Mtat.i aaS avualt at a at ataaa taWHtattS a Sulna. aai atun MtatS alia is um af laa wrtwt ata for t"t re-ee- tv Sttwiaa aaS aaMtita aa- - 00 ge Taesdav, March I, 191. a President to write such an article to which be states it a gamble must certainly toss sight of the fart that after ail hfe itself Is a gamble if taken in that light, and he, she or It Is taking an awful gamble with life by being aa narrow minded. A BOY OP 40. . retirement allowance for every former president could be based on that connection with the nation's military and naval forces. But a former president's claims are more broadly founded in equity and decency. He is expected to live the rest oi nis we in a siyie somewhat commensurate with the exalted official position he had held. He cannot oftentimes return to his profession. Almost Invariably he has commander-in-chie- f. A reached an age when novel profes sional or business activities could hot readily be taken on for money-ming purposes outside of his opportu nities of writing. These circumstances are peculiar s, the court." to only one class of American was a Very small class the former new posiThe president living presidents of the United States. tive in his assertion that the are exceptional to the last demost malign of all the dangers out the nation. This Is an inno They gree. Retired presidents, consequentfrom which' vation which will doubtless be ly, should be treated not only genermost be safeguarded today Is the welcomed by the business men of. ously, but with public solicitude for their comfort and welfare. disregard and disobedience of Salt Lake and elsewhere. as citi-sen- 'CitiiMn't Proposal Stir$ v But Little Enthuiiasm Editor Tribune: It is not my Intention to reopen the prohibition discussion, but I think 'Cltlsen" at least needed an answer on the proposal made in the Forum a few days ago. "Cltlsen" thinks to relieve unem ployment by turnina those unem ployed into spies and snoopers and paying them part of the spoils from their victims would be a fine Idea. producing wonderful results. Officers awo should pay heavy, fines It they aia not act promptly. I wonder -- what kind of honor you stocked with copper food cookers, numerous brands of snsit syrups and other dlzsy supplies. In sucn quantities that make a profitable business within itself. The New York senator who wsnts the government to appropriate for enforcement knows his "oats." AS the enforcement officers don't bve in Philadelphia. A million Is a big jump before they are entitled to a vacation, but S00 words in the Forum wouldn't even prevent 1.000.-00- 0 lawablding citizens from crossing over the Detroit river on Labor 0y, or place the burden of expense by regulation on the dispensers and consumers of the putrid luxuries where it belongs. Am myself a good judge ef modern "boose," and therefore a "teetotaler" by choice, and waiting legislation for the old an pension. Hops It lsnt proposed by Dr. Ostler, as our (tat plays gunfire or rope. Some others turn on the ignition or , step on the gas, K.V. . s By WALT MASON. I When I was young, a giddy-heabeat a village slot machine by feeding it some coins of lead, which sort I of course was base and mean. d; $300,-000,0- Mil Hes Some Necke'r, Admits It Himself ; meant no barm. I thought It Smart for I was but a thoughtless scout; alas, it broke my grandslre's heart when he came "round and bailed me out. When I beheld the old man's grief I vowed I'd aula aUlnful plays; of righteous youths I'd be the chief, and walk in virtue all my days That was a long, long time ago, and" I've been truly good since then: I'd have a record whit as snow, and I would walk with saintly men. I thought I'd lived my error down by thirty years of blameless work, when L opposing Oreen B. Brown, was candidate for county clerk.. I thought no person would recall the error of that bygone time, or from the dust of dead years haul the record of my youthful crime. But scarcely had I sprung my name as one who wished a public trust than men dug un that deed of shame from out the cobwebs and the dust Loud speakers to the voters said. "What think you of a candidate who worked off coins of lino of lead will you support so vile a skate T" And there were posters on the walls, which made the state ment grim and clear., that I bad stood In justice hails long since, for shoving of tbe queer. There's no suoh thing as living down tbe crimes attempted or desiened; Jones, Johnson. Robinson or Brown will bear the ghastly J sets tn mind: and whan we think we have erased the record from the minds ot men, we are disgusted and amazed to find the truth dug - . up again. (Copyright 1928. by Oeorge Matthew have. Mr. Citizen." that you would Editor Tribune; I congratulate! want to make money on your friends "Quick Service" on his and neighbors, probably hide some truthful statements Which frank and appeared of your own making on your victims' in mi rorum. premises, get an officer who was unWho can tell who is wrong when der heavy penalty to act on your in we are all wrong If tha women formation a fair armilif ha aaWtt wanted respect they could get It by of your kind the Savior Himself asung i or u. instaao unless a rainwould be guilty. man necks with her and steps her , Your shan of the spoils would be fast she refuses him the second-slatsure. Because Uncle Bam Is the col men now can tney say, "it's a man s lector and. the beat of all. nobod every time 7 Married People must tell about you.. In times past, laun both men and are not ex a gooo rone was used for these kind cepted, especiallywomen, the men. of people. I think a good load of salt Moonshine, women, ears and hot wouia also be a good reward; or, In parties are the bottom ef ail our oaa cases, w Drana ana earmark a crimes and accidents. How are we juflas or this kind. going to stop it when the law en What an insult to our "nanaetatila1 loroers are participants? how Is a . Adams Bervwe.) bootleggers to turn them Into spies, girt to be raised as in our fathers' snoopers and traitors. You claim En- - and mothers' time whan It Is tmpos- - vmisisstssifsssssttsssstsisrriisr a system similar to yours, atoie, untess ana wants to do called fland has how you got this Informa- an henf I say, and I tion ? In England, as elsewhere, our know, if e mother should choose to E Is By MTOBURY s prohibition the laughing stock of raise her daughter against necking and hot uie peopis. she .would have to awMtttssstnttisisssjiiiiissmitini I am not surprised that you hide tie ner upparties, uxe a dot. A girl may have more respect for I have been out on parties for three your identity. Who wouldn't? An honest person would not put his years In Bait Lake and among all you u you dont try to kiss her, but X name under a proposal like this. am no mamma's boy. sne won t nave as muen iun. . classes and a a a I can, if I get the Chance, .refrain "VXLLA VESTA." " EFFICIENCY EXPERTS. from necking, but if a girl so desires, WometCa Minimum Wage l ean neck and assure her of a hot The Scotchman' who took un fenc party.. ! know the girls crave excite ing so that be could have bis bolls Bill .Finds Supporter ment and we young men must see lancea for nothing. that they get it or they will call us ' . VITAL STATISTICS. hags. Editor Tribune: The ' women's oldWho Some people dont know when to minimum wage bill received an ex must bea to Warner Not the man. It the yes. I say girls. get married, and others don't know pected slan from the Asaociatsd In. VtrxNUJN. wnen to stop. . d us tries when their . legal talent ... r to sought destroy It ASAPS FABLES. Daughters of Utah ahould remain Another Bard Takes Lady Oodlva was the first bareback unprotected, according to this or ' B. Whack at Jayne naer. ganization. Knowing full well that the starvtaon wages paid women In Editor Tribune: " tDEALDUMBBELlJg. this state sometimes drive girls on Jayne Is a knocker, The fellow who mixed soonaes In tns street to live a me or infamy and B. We no for him. use have these shame, wiin trie concrete to make the sidepeople adhere to their belief that the lowest possible wages I warrant he never gave a single walks softer, ' r thing snouia always oe paw. ot DOMESTIC SCIENCE. V this grand and Judas Iscanot received thlrtv To tbe upbuilding ; , noble , ' state, , If it weren't tor delicatessens, the silver for betraying Jesus gtoces ofWhat and a average housewife wouldn't. know do the. Associated In. But Just a kt o( grumbling of tot where hate.. her next meal wm coming dustriee pay their legal help for be,: ! 't-j'jr.- -' A. trptn, traying the cause of the working girls? We are Informed by devout TAKE IT OR LEAVE IT. ' i him go to San Francisco, Los people that some day we will all have Let Oculists are new making kmc . ; to give an account of our doings. Angeles, even Portland, ' range glasses for looking Well. When Uabrlel s trumpet call We wouldn't care, but I am afraid! through - ?..throbs o'er the Bait Lake valley, I'd They just wouldn't want him over keyholes. ... ; ' ; there. much rather be the man who mur SOCIAL OUTCASToV f dered the blind man tor bis pennies, The hostess who seated the Sia or the fiend who set fire to the or- They dont want those kind of peo- mese Twins at opposite sides of the pie; phans' home than a man who helped . , table. to kill the law to prevent girls who They Want boosters. I am told; have to earn their own living from That Is what builds up cities MOMENTOUS MOMENTS, having to work for starvation wages. With lots of wealth and gold. When an Irresistible college boy JACK, IJtMSJ. meets aa lmmovsble coed. - Observations . - ::. - law. and declared, that "to con- . While It is said that an effort KKOW TOCB LAWS. sider these evils; to find their will be made to keep the census (From tha N. Y. Evening Post) necesremedy, la the most sort out of politics, the old system of It is a well known factsthat a very of American cltisene r sity of our times." enforce the making appointments will small percentage have more than a rudimentary The failure to doubtless be used. knowledge of their country's laws. amendment rests : eighteenth How many times is beard the plea sauarely uoon the shoulders of Must TrU ihflTmlh. that this man or that woman did qot ; United . the citizen ,ef know the existence of aonvA law tor the:, the violation of which he or she has State who neglect to' uphold the who witnesses and law of the land, and Mr, Hoover LITIGANTS themselves hi the been accused and found guilty? Every day people are swindled in one way proposes to transfer a large part court of District Judge James W. or another because of their ignorance of, the enforcement : activities McKlnney need .not expect to es- of the law which would protect them, to from the treasury department they but knew it cape punishment, for the Judge if The Association of Legal 3 the department of Justice. has given warning that when It Authors,American which has been recently Into a also He proposes appoint f becomes apparent to him that has for Its object the ednational commission' for a witnesses on the stand are toy-Ih- g corporated, ucation of the cltlsen in the laws -searching Investigation, saying with the truth the county by which he is governed. This is an its inquiry would go to the whole attorney will be asked to make admirable movement. It surely is not too much to ask of a citizen that We have no use for knockers. structure of the federal system an Investigation and to tile a he learn something of the laws of Bo, B. Jayne, fade away. as to well as Think of Jurisprudence "Booe Traffic" law of the A his of it country. knowledge suspicions We would rather have a booster methods of enforcement of the complaint should not be left entirely to those the court are borne out Engages Large Element Than a knocker any day. law make who their Every calling. eighteenth amendment and the N It la high time that the crime one should have at least an elemencauses of abuse under It "Citizen" pro Editor Tribune: of perjury should be punished, tary understanding of legal proeure sore exto an old he (prohibi- Marbles or Life, !Cs All He announced that not only here In Salt Lake, but cedure, "i poses by applying more of the same "pected! to can a special session In all other parts of the country, - It is to be hoped that the spirit tion) A Gamble? 'Boy' Says has that (enforcement) dope of congress to consider agricul-tur- al and Judge McKlnney Is to be which hss animated those behind the the affliction until an estimatedspread one-thirelief and limited changes commended for the stand he new association will become infecof the population is Involved In Editor Tribune: In answer to the that citizens throughout the the "boose In the tariff schedules, and has taken at the outset of his tious and will traffic." Add to this the "person" who Is criticising small boys take a deep interest in hypocrites, cowards ' country and and girls playing marbles for "keens." concluded as follows: , "In the career as a Jurist. It should not the matter. fanatics out for easy money as "in- It does seem a pity that they should presence of my countrymen, be necessary for a litigant to persoon then will Boose" "Mr. formers." piay marnies. sup rope, piay tag, ELUCIDATIXa "KIBITZER." mindful ot the solemnity of this jure himself lr order that an bave a majority who want enforce- spin tops. etc.. the things that are in York Herald New (Letter Tribune) ment (We leave out Chicago. There dear to the hearts of children and occasion, knowing what the issue may be properly joined for Referring to Nathan Brinkman's they handle 'em like bananas, in also, by tbe way. to some who are task means and the responsibil- adjudication in the courts. "Kito as ot the bunches of seven.) Surely not the "big" boys and girl, perhaps toward Inquiry meaning 1 ity which it involves, I beg your Here is a glorious opportunity bitzer the expression comes from manufacturers ot equipment and all middle age. tolerance, your aid and your co- for reform, and the judges on the German "Kieblts." the name of a the makings, or the merchants Tbe "person" who is to nsrroW as operation. I ask the help of A- the bench and - the - attorneys r bird similar to the plover and pos- - sssssssssstnsttmsssissasssmsiasismsHMtstisiiisiiissW8SMSssai s very inquisitive nature. lmighty Ood In this service to my practicing at the bar should seating .'8 uermans.nave this country to which . you - have promptly enlist In the war on term to those wholongsit applied behind card called me." the perjurers. players, offering unwanted advice. Often one hears the gentle rebuke, By DR. W. A. EVANS "Klebtts 1st kein sincvof!" (Kieblts Revolt in Mexico. Climax Thursday. ), is no when the butt-in- s sisassisssiniiiiiitisimiiisisssssssssiSHtsisisiiaiisssMsssiisiissHisiBsss become too Insistent;. 1XICO Is in the throes ot which the term melancholia Is used. THOSE LINCOLN BLUES. for control of the The spelling in America has defact tha Idea Abraham Lincoln was subject to Prom this another revolution, the THE fight Oil company of generated into "kibitzer," nd inmelancholia Is insanity has bedrivers and other the famous "Lincoln blues," Dr. W. that outcome of which is a matter ot Indiana will reach the climax cludes back-secome Tha idea is wrong, widespread. E. Barton, who has one more than or. at least it is no mors than a half doubt at the, present writing. on Thursday this week, when nosy and officious gentry. all other historians, combined to truth. Eight states are concerned in the annual meeting tiiifinnitimiitifiiiiiiiiMiiiiiit There are men who are subject to the uprising against Provisional will be held atcompany develop this point, tells us the Lintown a Whiting, coln family knew of this trait Some melancholia, but who have good busiPresident OIL and the capital In the Hoosier state. Many of of them spoke of it as the Lincoln ness minds, whose judgment is clear city has been isolated. The the stockholders will be on hand tsseHsssassssfssiiitsistsiiiimsititT blues, if my meaning of what Dr. and Who can take car of themselves movement to down the present in all situations. There are poets, Barton wrote is correct The to cast their votes, personally government apparently began at and there Is any amount of inexample of the disorder was writers, artists and orators of disPresident Lincoln, but it was present tinction who have melancholic Vera Crux, where the troops sta- terest in the outcome ot the con and recognized in other members of streaks. Abraham Lincoln was subtioned at that point went over test . Colonel Robert W. Stewthe family. Dr. Barton found dis- ject to melancholia, but at the same to the enemy without striking a art who may be ousted as tant relatives of the former presi- time hia judgment was good and his blow. dent, who did not know that they mind was clear and good. Purther, ot the board of direcchairman were relatives, and who knew com- the quality in him was a part of bis Garrisons 'along the interna tors as a result of the count paratively little about Mr. Lincoln, family inhertUnce. .tkmal boundary line quickly will be on deck when the crucial but who paid tribute to the Lincoln followed suit, and practically the moment CACEE AND CUBS OP BUNIONS. blues. arrives, but John D. whole country is in an uproar. Mrs. A. E. C. writes: What is the Lincoln rewho Every biographer will be in Jr. corded his personal observation of eause and cure for bunions? Former President Calles has Rockefeller, scene ot opfrom far the ' REPLY. Egypt, wrote Lincoln about of the sadness been named as secretary of war erations. The latter continues his facial expression at times and of I wish I could answer as easily aa and has taken command ot the to the sloughs of despond through you ask. There are several causes be a favorite In the betting federal troops In the capital city. which he would periodically pass. ot bunions. Among them, in the oroutboth Insiders and the among Two of these depression periods der of Importance, are: Bones and It he succeeds In dispersing the siders. have been grossly exaggerated. They bony spurs located between the rebels, leaders of the revolt will have served aa the basis of unfoundproper bones of the ball of the be executed without delay and It rained in Washington Moned stones that Lincoln was at times persistent wearing of shoes thatfoot; are the Oil government will go on day, but we had Hoover weather temporarily Insane and that be was too narrow, or too short or both. once an Inmate of a sanitarium for as It nothing had happened. These causes operate to bring about here in Salt Lake for a change. the mentally unsound. While living of the bell of the foot and Calles Is an able and aggres-aiv- e at New Salem, and after the death spreading deformities of the toes. This causes Sabbath breaking is probably leader, and so long as he Of Miss Ann Rutledge, he had euch of the bead of the bones, ' held the reins of power he ruled not the worst sin members of a spell and spent a short vacation In enlargement displacement ef the bones and corns the country at Bowling Oreen. After on the Inside of the bail. with an Iron hand.. Revolts congress will be called upon to his break with Mary Todd he had answer when the roll is called Tbe cure of a bunion on were quickly suppressed and another spell and again recuperated how long it has been depends neglected. der maintained. President Oil In the hereafter. while on a vacation with his friend. Wearing broad shoes will cure some who Is not a soldier, has little or Speed. Two vacations in a lifetime cases. The shoe should be. Income automobile taxes, "Well. sir. I d try beln a.Republl- - should not eause gossip, but these enough. Wearing toe separators long no capacity lor leaaersrup in taxes will and personal property ean," said Oran'paw Bentley. 1C4. to two did. tn both Instances gossip cure some. Wearing bunion troublous times, and It he does taxes are pads Is now due. Hall, gentle day, when someone asked him what and even biography have grossly ex- of seme service. r not Jose his life or become an he'd do if he had his life to live aggerated both the causes and the Bad cases require some kind of an over. I never remember whether a effects. exile as the result ot the present spring! operation. Among the operations m woman was Lincoln blues a ux The form not. of or owe his wtll are those for removing sesamoid outbreak he purty Unless there Is some hitch at pleasant safety Melancholia melancholia. removal of bony spurs, and, hereditary bones, and the continuation of his gov- the last moment Utah will rat- (Copyright. 1929. John T. DUle Co.) is a symptom and not a disease. The in some Instances, removal of some ernment entirely to the ener- ify the six -- state Boulder dam word Is used to describe a of of the enlargement of the heads of The lnexpenslveness of The Trib- mind and of mental process.type Some the foot bones When the bones are getic pact today and the agony will une Wsnts is their are surpassed insane only melancholies. by are There Ever since Madero overthrew be over In this neck o" the woods. influence. put tn order the thickening of the types ot insanity tn the naming of skin disappears. t v Evil Report ...... . -- sssaxsssiastxsi Mtiaisssssasiswsssssssat Horse Sense and Satire Bv a O. McINTTRS iauubfuutnumia muaiiissssusitssu u u J ii tszas lUSfl anstS(Ssul There Is NEW YORK. March 4. nothinr. It seems, to be done about not the curious and overly scrupulous custom of theatrical producers' in sour of reviewers and notices seizing sweetening them up as sugary blurbs. Unethical, it is not actionable. Recently the gifted Percy Ham mond wrote: "The nlay is a show, even If it lsnt a vary good show and I promise a kick a you are not las Udlous about your kicks." Imagine the surprise that was bis next dsy to be quoted in flaming ads: "I promise you a kick." . The lata Alan Dale many years ago wrote ef a shoddy piece: "There never was a show like It It Is ter rible." The next night strolling northward along the Rial to he was shocked to see a banner across the front of the theater reading: "There never was a show like it Alan Dale. Tbe house was packed for several nights until tha hoax was exposed. The most flagrant of recent displays in bad taste to quotations concerned a melodrama. The honest critic had written: The absurd plot was a Ulumph for those who Insist im beetles are writing our dramas." in oox ear type all over town the critic was credited with hailing it as: "A triumph." - Most of this buncombe is regretted by the fair dealing showman. He realises it curtails extravagant encomiums by critics and that frequent exposures make the theater goer gun shy of the deserved puff. While the "reader In dramatic reviews grows, its power to make or break a show dwin dies, it would seem. The motivating power tn the theatrical business today is the approval of the agencies selling tickets. Theatergoers accept weir aavice. &na tney hold aji good seats. The "word of mouth" advertising Is also a big factor. Even those who do not read reviews, learn of a success quickly. New York Is the theatrical capital and gossip about it is Important conversation. A real hit show cannot be smothered save by the agencies. e Incidentally it strikes me the farthest north in . dramaturgical blurb Ing for tbe current season was tn an enormous sign which read: "Mayor Walker arrived to see our play on time," batten banks. Their famines an the dignitj heavy stockholders and of tha ioba anneals. - It Is fsir U near mul Youthful sdons . fiSVt made good. A big change Is noticeabli among the youthful rich in the nasi few years. The gilded young rake oi . the gaming table, stage door ane such has gone the wsy of the pun sleeve. In these days ha Is likely Bui married and domesticated at 33. k not always. ' e A bad end was predicted for ths richest boy tn our town because h cut through a funeral procession one day on a high bicycle. That stamped him., as grandma, used to say, at "wild as a pigeon." But be became (Copyright msssmniiMSMsssssssissstssssit' J Ironies f HSSSSSSISSSttflSSMIIUIHintSIHSfll nma fletcher. Whether the disnuted canvas In - the Hahn suit, in New York, was or was not painted by Da Vinci, no- ooay snows. All the suit has established Is that. ta the art business, as in every other Dusiness, men will do anything to interfere with tbe business of a com Dont let your neighbor know what you're doing. (Copyright 1. N. Y. Tribune, Inc.) ONOMATOPOEIA. ; " the Boston OJobeir The new formula for denaturing alcohol gives an oil named "denitol," which is almost exactly what the drinker will say who gets a mouthful of It by mistake. ' " (Prom - ftmwiwwmitiHptwtMinwswi . OUR OWN VAUDEVILLE. Helen : Was Irene at thrwake Elsie: Sure, she was tbe life ef tbe OLD-TIME- R. rd How to Keep Well song-bird- M well-kno- at Abe Martin -- well-kno- .. TODAY'S BIRTHDAYS. tuopyne nw isw, King features Syndicate, Inc.) . College Humor ; hide-bou- ed THE SALT LAKE TRIBUNE OFFERS BOOKLET ABOUT PRESIDENTS AND WIVES. Wet urn and abort blstraphlai af (Coarrlfqt CaUastsM Here is one whose Ufa will abound With difficult and laborious work. Endowed with good will and an earnest souL there will be good use of the powers, and however humble the position. It will be. magnified. Of very powerful emotions, you may swav others, and you should have good creative powers In art Tbe most evident traits will be simplicity of life and strenuous character in work. Wsria Fwk. Co.) . Philip Hale, muslo and dramatic critic on the Boston Herald for more than 33 years, born at Norwich, Vt, 75 years ago today. V Frederick h. Newell, engineer, for mer director of the U. reclamation service, born at Bradford, Pa., 75 a years ago today. General Brigadier Jane: What's the difference be Joseph D. Leitch. retired, born in Michigan, S3 tween a girl and a borsef .. years ago today. tuck! I dons snow. Hon. Louis A. Tasenereau. eminent Jane: I'll bet you have some great Canadian statesman, born 62 years dates. Witt the cats who have baea prtaldent. Including Herbert Roorar, sod of tint U tht lad la of land. This condaneed history of eur preridents and their eareen tst whole story of tha Cnlted State from Waaalnftoa to Hoover. Tha SI portrait and Su thanttc, brief com Dilution ef facta maka th boaklet spaclally attractive and WMfui. pie-iur- aa . Ua M - coupon. tit - i- , - ir iiainn.iii.fxji.u Frederic j. Raktn. Director, Th Salt Lake Tribune Information Bureau, Washington D. C. I ncloe herewith tan cants In coin ar (tamp for a easy of th booiltt, Wire. . President and Their Name ............................. Street .;....;........"............;. City ago. Judge: What's the charge, officer? ' Albert Johnson, Washington repre-- 1 State Officer: indecent exposure. Your sentative in congress, born at Spring-fielI1L. CO years ago today. Honor. Judge: What I Heinous, heinous? Officer: Yes, sir, she stuck out her tongue at me. Yale Record, Smart New Styles and Colors in a a a "I hear the zoologists have found a lamb in South America that could run forty miles an hour." "That's the only kind of lamb that could keep up with Mary nowadays." Mugwump. d, irri" Our iiiiirninrirLi uij Mew MEN'S SPRING TO factoet INHARMONIOUS. "So she wouldn't lay her head on your shoulder?" "No. her hair dldnt match my suit" a a Doctor (questioning negro applicant tor chauffeur): George, are you married? "No, suh, boss, no tub. Ah makes my own living." Annapolis Log. a a A rich man lying on his deathbed called his chauffeur and said: "Sykes. I am going on a long journey; rugged and worse than you ever drove . me "Well, sir." consoled the chauffeur, "there's one consolation; it's all downhUL" Thalia.. a He: I believe I've met you some . place before. She: X wouldn't be surprised. I've been places. Virginia Reel. a a "Please buy some Christmas seals, mister." "I'm sorry, miss, but f bought my wife one last year and I'm atiU paying tor it!" Ollapod. IIIIIIIHMHHHIHIS1 S Pur natural e CHEESE makes healthy children " At v ohiOriqinal ITaii -- r peices v Richards street WOOLEN MILLS BRIANT S. STRtNOHAM. Manager a mm concert grand kimbAijl piano In Spit nditl .Condition . . i i . hali-tost- Horoscope . f petitor. ce eHMssistississsiiisiiiinisiKiissi , frank t- ; -- 193t, by tbe McNaught Syndicate, Inc.) tr , J a fine citizen and told me years after the bicycle episode was merely because he could not stop "the dura ' v , thing." a A group of newspapermen were discussing a columnist who after 30 years of writing a daily column went into another business and in less than a week was completely crazy. If he had kept on writing a column no one would have noticed it ? . PERSONALITY TEST. On an Invitation to attmd a (From the Bridgeport Telegram.) dinner a complete list of guests was The final test of personality is to pnnieo. Ana were was tnis thoughtand patched and ful consideration In bold type: "In appear unshaved agent to accepting, kindly indicate (in con- persuade the Rolls-Roygive you a demonstration. fidence) which of the named gentlemen you Wish to sit farthest from." Call upon Tribune Wants ta solve e e . problem (or you youH find In a l&rre bank, with mint your them efficient .1 branches, applicants for positions must undergo a thorough medical Inspection. They are riven rav. chiatric, psycho-analyt- ic and other tests inducing doubtless the ic and Dhotoeranhad in nit dif Travel f a tamOM Sarvlee ferent poses. A young man, successTO ENGLAND FRANCE fully passing, telephoned his girl HOLLAND GERMANY friend; "I landed a S30 ireek job Anb all eaaTS or avaorc via and thev don't even susnect I hava FlrmcuUt, Beulocns Rottsraam dandruff." Veaadam, Mar. It Velendast, Mar. U. ' r KyBSam Mar. SS. (Cabin Sttamar), Several voune milllonairai 4S Ho Dearborn St.. Caiesgo, or Local incoiupicuoui poU n krjre Mad- Aseats. ? ' 30 MONTHS TO PAY UTAH MUSIC CO. ..'HO. ZLXVZff EAST JTEST B0IJTH ; JsW |