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Show SAN JUAN RECORD Wednesday, August 3, 2005 - this? Am I somehow involved in this trip? Could you move from in front of the TV or get me a Pepsi since you wuz 18 Page Quick trip to the ATM IneedmoneyforaPepsi. My lazy reaction is to rum- mage through the kids piggy bank. Their piggy bank is as broke as my check book. For a split second I thought I would look in my too kind and loving wifes purse. But, I get a hold of my senses - one time when I looked in her purse I found a grocery list from 1994, a muffin, a diaper, a mirror, a wrench, a denomination into my wal-firlet, my wife or kids come and asks for money. They can smell cash like Turbo smells a cookout up to the Andersons house or like I smell cookies in the oven at Lyndas (HINT). After this particular trip to the ATM machine and upon returning, my too kind and st up? But this article isnt about that. It is about cash and when my too kind and loving wife needs cash she usually asks me if I have any or just rummages through my she is too far away from machine), searches through all of the 48 compartments in her handbag for her ATM card, she finds her lipstick so she stops and does her make up, applies lipstick, fixes hair, and then gets around to inserting her ATM card. She removes her card, in- serts the card again this time correct way up, digs through wallet. This particular time she her purse for piece of paper needs cash and decides that with PIN on it. She finds misa trip to the ATM machine is a baby picture of our sionary and sighs necessary. She asks a heavy sigh and loving wife gives me me if I want to go stops to tell me that that look of thanks with her to the ATM she misses him. machine. for asking if I wantscout badge, and a She then enters ed to go. Really, I would muffler. PIN, then rather watch I try and act innoI have sworn an Torres by Gary correct pin, Armstrong cent and respond to oath to never ever finish kicking evaclaughs and crinkles her look in her purse her nose at me, reerybodys butt in the cusation with a, WHAT alagain. trieves cash, wads but Tour I cant find any cash so ready? it up, puts it into It really bothers her that I when she asks if I I decide to go to the ATM her bag, drives off, machine. I efficiently get in just walk out of the house and want to go with her, I best if is puts car in reverse my truck, drive away, pull up drive away without saying it usually and goes back to to the machine, wind window anything. She claims that go with her. So I go ATM machine, remen are so inconsiderate and with her. down, insert ATM card, entrieves card, drives Whereas I am ter PIN, retrieve cash, drive that whenever she leaves she five model of when blocks, and then releases efficiency always has the courtesy to tell the away, buy Pepsi. Smoothly, efficiently, and me where she is off to, and of- it comes to getting money emergency brake. - four Time wasted from ATM machines, she is with minimal loss of time ten invites me to go with her. De Tour France is But honestly, sometimes not. Getting the money seems days. I have the problem solved and retrieved the necessary when she is telling me where only a secondary goal in her over. Lance is retired; in fact I think by the time we make she is going I am looking at trip. money. Shortly after retrievShe pulls up to the ATM it home he is in a retirement her like, Why are you telling ing money, placing it neatly and in descending order of me this? Do I need to know machine, opens door (because home; he may have died from La-Fran- non-verb- re-ente- ce rs al De-Lanc- e, old age for all I know. I know I celebrated a that birthday or two during our quick trip to the ATM machine. accidentally let out a grumble of discontent. She says, Fine! I wont ask you to go with me anymore. Fine is the word she uses when she thinks she is disappointed with my choice or I need to I shut up. that I am going to regret it. I cant actually beI know lieve I am going to say it. But I do. I ask her what is wrong and she says, Nothing! This is the word she uses when she means something but wont say anything because she is testing me to see how astute I am. Can you imagine that? Generally, if she says nothing there is going to be an argument which will end with a Fine! I am hoping that she doesnt sigh. I know that a sigh is coming. Oh I hate the sigh thing. Oh now, there it is. A heavy loud statesigh is a ment that means Gary, you are an idiot and I wonder why I waste my time standing here and arguing with you over Nothing! al non-verb- Bd)OCIB06 SOQBQWiXiyi? o 0gX3OG36 S0C5Bug)GR? 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