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Show Lfm& .Cross, Currents . . . . April US?6 HORRIDSCOPE Think about your density; take advantage of insomnia By Kashmir Horseshoe Conjuror and Pawn to the Elements and your increasing density. Take advantage of insomnia. Theres nobody out jogging at two in the morning. Dont wish too hard for something, or you might pull a muscle in your libido. Using words you dont understand is all right if youre only talking to yourself anyway. Improvise despite inclinations ARIES (March 21 -- April 19) When dealing in financial matters, keep your guard up or you could gel caught with your pants down. The potential for a long, happy life awaits you, but first you must make it through this afternoon. Spend equal time contemplating your inevitable destiny to bull forward. Damn the torpedoes, especially the one headed for your starboard side. TAURUS (April 20 - May 20) You will perform best today by staying out of the mainstream. Buying people off could be better than putting them on for size. An old lover will hit you wilh his or her cane in the early hours. Today is a great day to have our picture taken with a bowl of cold oatmeal. You will most likely not be run over by a large delivery vehicle this month. If you intend to speak from the heart today, make sure to bring along a bilingual translator. Confusion reigns, and thats lucky for you since it is one of the only things you are good at. GEMINI (May 21 -- June 20) In the year ahead, you may find yourself deeply involved in the chronic pettiness that defines your performance. Belter you than someone else dealing with it. File all problems under P and then forget them. They are not your friends. Dreams of travel should not be chronicled by sleeping in your car. You may not work well under pressure this month. Try letting the air out of your ego. Learn the difference between on the street and in the street. CANCER (June 21 -- July 22) Your intrinsic huntergathcrer instincts are in full swing this week. Dont attempt to fight it. Hunt and gather till you drop. Pigeons may mistake you The Montezuma County Hospital District Foundation presents: fa a fax .. (A Seminar Just For Women) April 13, 1996 9:00 A.M. to 3:45 P.M. Cortez Conference Center Saturday, The Four Basic Guilt Groups Chris Keynote Address Clarke-Epstei- A Tin for Truffles Task Force Team Lunch Creme de Fashione The Dream Catcher Why Women Need Chocolate and Other Guilty Pleasures Dianna Fury, M.D., Karla Demby, M.D., Kim Rainer, M D., M D Emily Sutcliffe, M D and Deanna Bond, Moderator Phyllis Gilmore, Gracious Living Karen Sheek The Candy Man Juan Martinez, Director of MCHD Dietary Services Wrap-U- p Chris Clarke-Epstei- Montezuma County Hospital District Foundation is sponsoring the 5th Annual Women $ Seminar $10 00 minimum contribution to the Foundation is requested All proceeds go toward the Foundations goal of providing Prenatal Education for those women who give birth at Southwest Memorial Hospital and for Healthcaie Career Scholarships A Tickets are available at Susie's Hallmark. The Dream Catcher. Southwest Memorial Hospital in the registration required. Gift Shop or by calling the Foundation office at for a statue. Dogs may mistake you for a fire hydrant. Stay away from garbage cans when the trucks are in that neighborhood. Break bread but not promises. Fixing things that are not broken may net unexpected results in the early morning. Go ahead and lie to yourself. Everyone else is doing it. LEO (July 23 August 22) Venus (planet of love and seduction) will enter your eighth house of secrets and intimacy on Tuesday. Spend Monday mucking out your bathroom, or the visit will be short-liveNeptune and Pluto will ask you to n a loan for a cup of coffee on the 30th. Dont do it, or you could get burned. Considering your inept manner of handling daily rituals, it is surprising that you are still standing erect. Today is a perfect time to fill your dance card for the winter as the band plays on. Travelling to the beat of a different drummer may require a foghorn. Decisions can best be made by the flip of a coin. Panhandle. VIRGO (Aug. 23 - Sept 22) At press time, we have received no indication as to your plight for the week. This could be very good news or a disastrous turn of events depending on your attitude. Let us know what happens. We care. LIBRA (Sept. 23 - OcL 23) Grumpy neighbors will invite you to dinner. What could they possibly be d. co-sig- |
