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Show THE SALT LAKE TRIBUNE, SUNDAY MORXIXG, MAY 13, 1928. Who'll Run Against Smith? I IMP'S By Will Rogers :- -: ment of the church as a whole on vital Issues which may come up at the general conference in Kunsaa City May 1. The majority tor limited tenure for bishops was 17H. Ministers and layman voted in Wrtually the sains proportion. Eligibility to reelection reTha ceived a 193 "yes" majority. question of whether the area system, with supervision hy the same bishop should be continued, also received a heavy "yes" vote. A "no" majority of zJO votes was returned on a question of whether should be the only criterion Methodists Vote Against prohibition fur'a carTdi4ate's fitness for publl. office and ministers voted more heavily the negative than laymen. Present Church System In The vote was: Laymen Yes, 721: IOCS: no, V St. no, SHI mlnlxte(f-Ye- a. The "yes' vote for a restatement of of Election for Life. Methodist doctrine was 971. Laymen voted: Yes, 8H no, SM. Ministers' sentiments were: Yea. IMS; no, 909. Thumbs were turned down on a hyCH1CAOO AP). Four thousand pothetical proposal to have the church relax Its laWa on subsequent marriage laymen and ministers who voted Inof divorced persons. Che majority formally on a set of questions touchagainst such a proposed move was ing on vital parts of the Methodist 1493. Episcopal church struciure, have returned a heavy majority favorable to Which Is Civilized, the present method of electHoboken or Trinidad? limto life that of ing bishops for ited tenure. HOBO KEN', N J. (API.-- All Is not They agreed, also, by nearly 1000 gold that' glitters nor are all guards votss, that there should be a restatean nriny. Hence the surprise of a ment of Methodist doctrine, but the steamship captain who was 'watted ouestion of whether there should be upon by an armed retinue when his a more binding creed was voted down vessel docked here recently and was by a slim majority of 60. The questionnaire was sent out by the Northwestern Christian Advocate. It wss desired, said an announcement Waccompanying It, to obtain the senti I know WELL, all the is juit what I read in the paper. Been messing thing, and on account of this being be there to see that clfar ashes did country a good deal lately, trying to find something to a presidential year that makes the not litter up the White House, and talk to you all about. All the Politicians are trying to stir up some ex nicking more juicy. the Town "Slicker Dorby" boys citement in their line of work, but I can't fiad But let 'a get off sense and get would be there to see that so pipe I'. 1 much intercut in the graft outside the ones that back to foolishness. It looks like whiffer ever lowered the smoking are in it. The outside people have just about Hoover and Smith are about the standards that are nowadays set by t come to the conclusion that there ain a worry 's only two the people want, from what advertised Gentlemen. worth of difference in either one and they just I can gather. 80 I doubt if either They will make great Campaign Well, I Posters, the old Derby and the old try to forget it, and live it down, if they ever did one 'will be nominated. take any interest. guess Smith will, for his position Pipe. Hoover, I don't know what By the way, the way they are raiding the as exactly reversed from Hoover's. he smokes, and Calvin smokes Politicians I think .Mm Reed chew Treasury now there don't look like it will do any- Smith, the Democratic body any good to get in. What 's the use run- want him worse than the entire peo- - Horseshoe Plug. Walsh won't chew, ning your head off to get to a table where the food has just been all eaten upf If I was an office seeker I would kinder be doubtful whether LMJtfcZ. AN' GEMMUrV'. there was enough in there left just to pay my HAVE KlD PAVE PlP, ON Hy RKrHT VJE regular salary, much less what 1 wanted to run WlNDy CI TV. , BRAWNY PATVUTR "FROM for office for. A.Tn BROWN v SMirw DER9y uepr on They sure are taking the old Treasury to a -the TECRoe NVAWK - stpEWAikS cleaning. None of this million or five million OF dollar appropriation. It's a half billion or nothing in a Bill nowadays. It takes a man that ran Will Rogers think in big numbers to introduce a Bill in Con gress nowadays. A Bill under a hundred million would be so unusual that 7'Clt ) it wouldn't pass. "We can't spend our time voting on trifles." He ran would be laughed out of Congress as a Small Timer. If you got a river near your house and the government hasn't dammed need, or when you spread it, but day and night. it up yet, why, it'i because you every minute of every Talk and sing about "Old Man of a sent them haven't blueprint Kiver. " It's Old Man Interest that where it is, and haven 't asked them keeps the old Farmer running to wheu the fire and the lips meet, to put one in for you. If you got town every few days. He has to . Republicans get H a of to set have a bookkeeper keep some land that nothing will grow to when of his track hooks keep (Copyright, 1928, by the McNgugul on and haven 't had it irrigated, various Notes and Mortgage interSyndicate, Inc.) know because don't it's of est comrs due. It's the thought you why, him your Congressman. Everybody wants the old Mortgages that keeps land irrigated by the government. awake at night. But, if you notice, they are alFor, as anyone knows, new land with plenty of water will raise quite a ways trying to put through some bit. But ao will old land if it's kind of Bill in Congress, but nobody fertilized, so why should the whole ever puts through one to do someof American taxpayers pay for wa- thing about interest. No, sir; you ter for newly irrigated land any couldn 't do that then you are getmore than they would for fertilizer ting into the business of the Boys for old landf Both will do the same tnat really hold the hoopa while the thing if you will put them on there. jumping is going on. You could no But it looks like nobody is ever more get a bill through to whittle original enough to think of a Bill the old interest down than you could like that. They just think that wa- to get a politician to admit a mis ter is the only thing that will help take. Will it come to this? land. Why, my Lord, there is dozThey limit a Savings Bank from ens of different things that will help paying you over four or five per pie, while with Hoover it's the peo- smoke, drink. He just want to the farmer on his land besides wa- cent, but about eight is lrigxl if you ple that want him, and not the Poli- find out what the other fellow is or fertilization either. There are the one to do the bor,owing, ticians in his party. So it may be doing all the time. And Jim Watter, is the Interest on the first and. sec- and then nothing definite has ever Smith against Dawes, and that son dips snuff. Hughes smokes ond Mortgages. Why don 't they in- been done about the "Bonus" that would make a colorful campaign. Cigarets, but not too close. It' gotroduce a Bill in Congress foi Con- is extra for the loan, lin; I will Dawes would make that sway-bacing to be a great Campaign for ads, gress to help the Farmer by paying say there is some that arc honst pipe our national emblem. The "Old no matter who is nominated. A man off his Mortgages? That's what's enough; thov don't do tlint. I won't Brown Derby" against the "Nico- will make enough out of the ads, eating him up on the farm, it's not call names, but they will be j;ivcn tine Bowl." Now take your pick ; even if he is defeated, to salve his lack of irrigation or lack of fertili- on application. which i9 the worst, a "Brown De- conscience. Al chews his Cigars, zation it's abundance of interest. 80, you see, everybody tat. their rby" or the old Pipe! It sure would even if they are lighted. He lots That's the Baby that is there every racket, and everybody is looking to bring out the vote. The old Corn- the fire work on one end, and he minute of every day. Not when it 's nick the old Treasury out of some cob boys out of the meadows would starts chewing on the other, and Ftp . 16 of ie- xf5j CUT told the tsoldlery had come to guard author, but more generally It Is besir Ita 1100.000 In gold during transfer lieved to be due to carsls from ship to bank. nlted nuances. The captain seised the opportunity Thu amateurs, on tha other hand, for a good laugh, part of it undoubtcotnpU'n that royalties are often exmarch cessive and as a result many at she edly directed at the r plays of civilization. are unavailable to ambi"You know," he said si his mertious groups of players. riment subsided, "when we took that gold aboard at Trinidad one aged negro hauled It from town In a wheel-harroYOU CANT STARVE He made many trip before he get the cargo atu'itrd And he AND BE STRONG didn't have a solitary guard!" The theory of rigid 'diet' in treating ng jsjjffl Drama League Seeks Play Pirating Cure DIABETES CHICAGO (API. The Drama league of America has liecome concerned over the actions of many smalt ur theatrical groups which pirate plays, cither Jcnowlngly or unwittingly. 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