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Show Sally Sez f Fable of the Almost Deserted Village By GEORGE ADE (. Bell Syndicate.) ONCE I PATRONIZE repeat, HOME INDUSTRY HEWillETYKS Supreme Dont Have to Lie Down Horses, like elephants and many other animals, have the power of Their sleeping while standing. legs are provided with muscular mechanisms which cause them to lock, as it were. WNU Service. there was a Prairie Town Maple Heights because toward the Crick there was a Knoll nearly eight feet high. It was Just one of those Places that have kept the Rand McNally Co. in the Map Business. If the Trains stopped there it was largely from Force of Habit or to cool off and not because there was any Prospect of Important Freight or Passenger Traffic. A Filling Station reared a' gaudy Front where once the Hitch Rack smiled. All of the human Protozoa of the Village knew Bill Hart, Bebe Daniels and Tommy Melghan by their Front Names, and nearly every Yokel knew how to measure himself with a String and send to a Mall Order g House for a Suit with diagonal Pockets such as are worn by the Undergraduates at Princeton. For. a.lbng Time the Residents of the Settlement stuck close to Home, seldom venturing Into the great outside World unless there was a Dollar Excursion. They regarded Maple Heights as a fairly accurate Reproduction' of the Garden of Eden with the Snake left out Even after there was a Smoke Buggy standing at nearly every Front Gate it was not considered safe to venture more than fifty Miles from the Fireside. No one bad an Urge to pick np and migrate because good old Maple Heights was supposed to be a Crown e Jewel in the Diadem of Dumps. Most certainly no one had ever dreamed of wearing a Straw Hat and e Lisle Suit right in the a middle of January. Until the Propaganda was floated. Cold Weather was popular. A popular Song at the meeting of the Literary Society on Friday Evening was Jingle Bells, Rabbit Hunting was held to be a Sptfrt of Kings. Who wanted anything better on a Snappy Night, when the Snow was crunching nnderfoot, than to camp alongside of a large and active Base Burner, until one side was barbecued and then shift around until the Other Side was done? The long Arctic Period of every Year was enlivened with Taffy Pulls, Oyster Suppers and Revival Services. To shovel Snow was regarded as one of the Penalties of being connected with the Human Race. The Folks had heard the Hymn about a Place where Spring abides and Flowers but they figured that only the Church Members would ever visit the Locality and they would have to reach it via the Cemetery. Maple Heights probably would have continued to wear Red Flannel and s for all Time if It had not been for Henneberry Kilgore. ' He was a retired Farmer who owned a Frame Residence on Second Street and in the Croquet Set. was a ten years ago he helped to Nearly make a Discovery which threatens to revolutionize the Social Routine of America. He learned that if he didnt burn any Coal in the. Winter he could save enough Money to purchase two round trip Tickets to Florida. Mr Kilgore also figured that if he could rent his House to the new Superintendent of Schools he could get a Monthly Income which would pay the Cafeteria Bills of Himself and while they were soaking up the Sunshine In what someone with a Streak of Originality has designated as the Palmetto State. When the Kilgores' started, the proposed Journey seemed almost as important and hazardous as a Flight to Madagascar. All the Neighbors came down to see them off. They had two Shoe Boxes full of Home Cooking. The whole Thing seemed adventuresome and extravagant The Low Cost of Fording. Very soon the tantalizing Bulletins began to arrive. On one of those Mornings, Sausage and Buckwheat when the Smoke went straight up and there was a general Discussion as to how far below Zero It really was, then all of the Friends would receive Post Cards showing Miles and Miles of Orange Groves in Golden Bloom or Alligators dozing in the Warmth or a Vista of a Summer Sea beyond the Avenue of tropical Palms. Also snapshots of Henneberry Kilgore in his Shirt Sleeves, holding np Fish. These are the Influences which Undermine Civilization and convert Strong Men into Weaklings. The Kilgores came back full of that Conversation about the Sun being on the Job every Day and the coldest Morping they had all winter being Just nice and snappy. It was evident that they had been Sold. They began to line up the Converts. Within two Winters so many Retired Farmers were heading South along about Thanksgiving that the demand for Shoe Boxes could hardly be supplied. Those who formed the Habit put In whiz-ban- one-hors- ASK YOUR DRUGGIST apex FOR gsr AN INTERMOUNTAIN PRODUCT Nests of Flamingoes The flamingoes build strange looking nests in low marshy areas. To avoid rising water they mold cones of mud a foot or more in height. These are hollowed at the apex to accommodate one or two eggs. IpRROVtBRANDDCKlES THIS WEEKS PRIZE STORY If intermMintnin peopls Intermountain poods woo Id boy This old man called depression Would just lie down and die. two-piec- never-endin- Doors of industry would open. Wheels of prepress turn once more And how we cure financial ills Would be known front ah or ,to shore. Everyone would have employment And be pettinp better pay. Wed be usinp better products And pood times would come to stay. CLARA BRITSCH, Manti, Ut' In UTAH WOOLEN MILL Trade BLANKETS for Your Wool Salt Lake City, Utah for Samr Excellent Values-Sen- d Europes Oldest Zoo The Vienna zoo is the oldest ii Europe. At present it is main tained by the city, but it was begun more than 150 years ago as a private collection by Maria Theresa. JOSEPH WM. TAYLOR, Inc. Utahs Leading Morticians Funerals on Time Payment Plan if Salt Ills CUT, si desired Utah That Was. 320 Reward of Idleness . One who seeks a ness, said Hi Ho, Chinatown, never-fadin- g Ear-Lap- Ring-Lead- er Dru-sill- non-sto- p life of idlethe sage of may expect to find himself ill served at home and abroad Washington Star. ma-lign- ed NEW MOTOR OIL Sold with a Money Back Guarantee Early American Painter Peter Pelham is generally regarded as the first American artist. The first, authentic portrait of produced in America--thCotton Mather was executed by at Pelham. "GRAINS OF GOLD THE WHOLE WHEAT CEREAL Makes Cream Taste Better Western Made For Western Trade Ask Your Grocer Married men ought to wear something to indicate plainly that they are married, says a novelist. They generally do the suit they bought the year before last. London' Humorist. Stronger than He Was at Twenty TIn-Canne- rs . Jack Frost' fine work will toon b oer. For winter breathes near every door. 8oe will have much, too much, to eat. Bat what of others? all Summer telling about the Great Times they had down yonder an Winter. They were hard to put up with. A romantic Visit to the Southland ceased to an Adventure and threatened to become one of the Necessities of Life. Especially when the Boys came back with a new Idea. They had seen the all the way from Jacksonville to the Keys, giving the Laugh to Hotels, Rooming Houses and the High Cost of Living in general All you had to do was get a Chassis costing about $13.50 and build on top of it a small House containing Bunks, Kitchen Outfit and an unlimited Food Supply and then roam all over the Map for Months and Months at a time without buying anything except a little Jnice. About the Time the Highways became congested with gliding Chicken Coops, the whole Population of Maple Heights got a Kick out of the News that Henneberry Kilgore had been offered $6,500 for a Lot in Cocabola which he had purchased at an Auction Sale in 1917 for $225. Also it was reported that Bricklayers were getting $12 a Day in Miami and the Building Permits for the Year were about Two Million in excess of what we claim France owes us. The endless Chain which had been put into motion by Mr. Kilgore now began to work overtime and at high speed. Every Pilgrim who arrived in the Promised Land began to send back those come-oPost Cards and Reports of how many Cars went across the Gandy Bridge each Day and also Carbon Copies of that famous Recital to the effect that he bought so many Acres outside of a Place expecting to build a Bungalow and now he had sold the East Half for more Money than there really Is and had been offered whatever Amount you care to think of for the Other Half, always by a New York Syndicate. That was how it worked. Every Bird who went down sent back the illuminated Lithographs and began to talk in Big Figures, whereupon at least two of the Lads back in the Home Town would Join the Trek and in a couple of Weeks they would be Yarns loading the Mails with and each of them would induce two others to hurry and get in while the Water was great, so that by this time there would be seven Pilgrims Instead of one and these seven would land two apiece or a grand Total of fourteen plus the seven or twenty-one- . Yon can see for yourself that any such System will run into a lot of People in a short Time. The Bank Building is still standing in Maple Heights even if the Funds have been withdrawn. Six of the Boys have decided not to go down this Winter as they are on the Volunteer Fire Department MORAL: No matter what youve heard, its so. a a n such-and-suc- h wild-eye- d . years old, and still f?IFTY-FIV- E , going strong! Do you want the secret of such vitality? It isnt what you eat, or any tonic you take. Its something anyone can do something you can start today and see results in a week! All you do is give your vital organs the right stimulant. A famous doctor discovered the way to stimulate a sluggish system to new energy. It brings fresh vigor to every organ. Being a physicians prescription, its quite harmless. Tell your druggist you want a bottle of Dr. Caldwells syrup pepsin. Get the benefit of its fresh laxative herbs, active senna, and that pure pepsin Get that lazy liver to work, those stagnant bowels into action. Get rid of waste matter that is slow - poison so long as it is permitted to remain in the system. The new energu men and women feel before one bottle of Dr. Caldwells syrup pepsin has been used up is proof of how much the system needs this help. Get a bottle of this delicious syrup and let it end that constant worry about the condition of the bowels. Spare the children those bilious days that make them miserable. Save your household from the use of cathartics which lead to chronic constipation. And guard as you against grow older. Dr. Caldwells syrup pepsin is such a well known preparation you can get it wherever drugs are sold and if isnt expensive. . on Cognoscenti are people who know Germanys Charm The periods of the Renaissance everything and are hardly satisfied and the Middle ages were not alone with anything. in creating a prodigal abundance of imposing buildings and monuments of art leaving them as impressive memorials of former splendor. In the Eighteenth century, when the other great peoples had long since achieved internal unity thereby gathering all energies in the mighty A mania as old as his organs; most men can capitals, in London, Paris, Madrid be vigorous and healthy at 60 as well as at Germany was still an old, fantastic mosaic. It was in this period of 85, if they will but take care of themselves Invigorate your vital organs with princely dominion that the singular properly. Gold Medal Haarlem Oil Capsules. It is one dispersion of German cultural life of the most reliable preparations known manifested itself, crystalizing around to medicine. It has been widely prescribed a multitude of great and small spots. foV 237 years, the best proof that it works. This evolved a brilliantly variegated Insist on GOLD MEDAL. 35c & 75c. picture whose magic charm persists GOLD MEDAL to the present day, Exchange. HAARLEM OIL CAPSULES In plays people in a parlor do not Elegant people can use elegant all talk at once as they do in real words without seeming to put on airs. life. Bear Grows Extra Pair of "Shoes for Spring While the bear hibernates in the winter the soles of his feet thicken, and by spring he finds himself wearing an extra pair of shoes, according to Hamilton M. Laing, writing in Boys Life, the monthly publication of the Boy Scouts of America. By spring, writes Mr. Laing, the outer covering of the pad. is composed of two layers, the newer one under the old getting ready to supplant the old. As soon as the bear emerges from his den in spring bis feet are subjected to rough usage wet ground or snow. This soaking helps to soften up the dead outer shoe and cause an easy separation. The wear on this part of Bruins anatomy is tremendous. He is very heavy and he travels over the roughest footing. A shoe is a necessity; his sole must have the rubbery toughness of an auto tire. When the old shoe peels off, the fresh new layer underneath has a certain softness, yet the toughness and elasticity of sponge rubber, concludes This layer will remain Mr. Laing. alive through one season only, and then die and be shed in the next spring when Bruin again gets his annual change of footwear. Relief From Neuralgia Impressive Salzburg The oldest part of Salzburg, Mozarts tqwn in Austria, is about St Peters abbey, its oldest monument It was begun In, A D. 589, burned and rebuilt In the Twelfth centnry and took its final form In the Seventeenth century. It was a famous library of 70.000 volumes and 400 manuscripts. To the right the visitor will find St Peters Cellar, now a restaurant, on the first floor of which will be found the where the famous composer sat evenings over his wine. St Peters cemetery is probably the most Impressive part of the section, lying at the foot of the mighty Schlossberg, honeycombed by cells and chapels where early Christian martyrs are entombed. Starts Relief 3 or 4 Minutes After Taking hard-wearin- Haybn-Stube- In Few Minutes g rl Quick Dissolving Property of BAYER ASPIRIN Think of a headache going in three or four minutes. The pains of neuralgia, neuritis or rheumatism being eased, often, in that little space of time! Due to important, scientific developments in the famous Bayer Aspirin laboratories, millions of people are enjoying this almost unbelievably quick relief from pain. That is because Bayer Aspirin dissolves almost instantly in the stomach. And thus almost INSTANTLY starts to ease pain. The average headache, for instance, eases in as little as four or five minutes. Think of what a time saver this is to busy people. Remember it is Genuine BAYER Aspirin which provides this unique property. So see that you get the real article when you buy. See that these three words Genuine Bayer Aspirin are on any box or bottle of aspirin that you buy. And that the name Bayer is stamped in the form of a cross on any tablet that you take. Remember that when you buy. And remember, too, that Genuine Bayer Aspirin cannot harm the heart. Take care you get the genuine. As Usually Defined An eccentric is any deceased person who has left anything to anyone out- side of his Immediate family. NO TABLETS ASPIRIN WITHOUT THIS CROSS Copr. 1932, The Bayer Co., law |