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Show ) 1 "-C- i om cs By iftlMl t- 3. WATCH YOUR HAT arrli AND COAT - J Big lil lowing Unto women their wire Mins discussing "Oli, s.u J i. no. Tvi got a son and hes the highest scenario writer in Hollywood, Hes very impor- tant. "Ive got a son, said the second one, whos a lawyer, lies marvelous The julges all love him. Hes very important, too My son, said the third woman, is a great painter. More people follow lus work than any other man in the woild. He paints ttie green lines in the subway. No More Time Bill GEE WHlZf jNMy and B me when he had me down? tUlify HEY THE WHY DIDN'T YOU CALL 1 believe the end is Farewell" for me. Harry: Why? What seems to be the trouble?" Bill- "I lKiught one of those lifetime fountain pens, and its - ( WHY ICE 7 IM LAYING COLD STORAGE broken ) FAIR 'CjJ wft r- - By Gluyas Williams T" -- A , V 1 00 U Busy wuh Thor Family, KM Wit fOR inf 1&0 I ATE f .free upon X h'5 !i Which ig? So Been losing a little freight lately, haven't you, Wilson?" various OuuWiOns, each beaming the others to? his missins Was TOR him CoMn'CED h 'WHO KNOWS? BARBARA STANWYCK WORE IT THIS WAY IN HER LAST PICTURE AND HOOKED BURT LANCASTER mKAS WilAO h MUTT AND JEFF M HOME EGAItl By Ed Dodd A fat lady stepped on the scales, not knowing they were out of order. The indicator stopped at 75 pounds. An inebriated gent who just emerged from the neighborhood joint watched her intently. "My gosh," he marveled, "shes hol- low! RT SOMEBODY ELSE TO ANSWER Th TELEPHONE AS TriE LAST TiNKlE SOUNDS, THEY ALL. if CONCLUSION rr 'v itxf DOOR near GOLlY. IT MUST By Bud Fisher Thats It Tommy went to see his girl. They were sitting on the sofa talking of this and that when suddenly they heard a noise upstairs. Whats that noise up there?" asked Tommy. Thats my mother dragging my fathers pants across the floor." Do you mean to tell me that they make that much noise?" "Sure, my fathers still in them." Cautious I made a mistake when I mar- ried you. "No, I made a mistake when I proposed to you! I bet if I died today, youd marry another woman tomorrow!" "I would not. Id take a little rest HAVE SNOWED A LITTLE DURING THE NIGHT SNOWS BEAUTIFUL iN THE COUNTRY first. JUST RATTLES ON By Arthur Pointer JITTER "Does your girl friend have much to say? "No, but that doesnt keep her It'VE5TERW I L60Miu.0FFp0fJD LD SlTSflH from talking. - STUMP by Gark S Haas SUNNYSIPE By Ml Hayes MISTER KIN MIIICAN 1 BORROW WAT IRON WEIGHT FOR THIS AFTER- WELL I GUESS W FOR THE LIFE OUT ITU BE OF WE, BUT ALRIGHT, I CAN'T FIGGER BOY WOULD WANT WITH SUCH A THING ? m SUCH A SMALL NOON? I NEED IT WORSEN YDUE MOSS UAH sr -- ..as By Charles Kuhn GRANDMA AH, I SEE IT Men at Work An actor applied for a job in a circus. "Yeah, we can use you, said the manager. "Were supposed to have two gorillas in the show. But they died. So just put on this gorilla suit and pretend youre one of them. All you gotta do is sit in a cage all day long. Nobodyll ever know the difference." So the actor took the job, put on the gorilla suit and got into the cage. About ten minutes later they put a gorilla in the cage with him. He immediately started yelling to get out of the cage. "Let me out of here! Let me out of here! The gorilla walked over and whispered to him. Shut up! Shut up! Youre not the only vaudeville actor out of work." NOT GUILTY With a screech of brakes the officer stopped his motorcycle and called to a small boy playing in a field: Say, sonny, didnt see an airplane come down near here? Boy (trying to hide his slingshot): But, mister! I was just aiming at a bottle, honest! |