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Show CACHE AMERICAN. I.OfiA.V. I'TAII BETTER EXPRESSED Our Pet Pca e w Will of Whoal Freddie was giving his lady friend a long discounts 00 his family history. was h said, "My Grandfather," Just a poor, hardworking London When ha died, a few cloikmaker. yean ago, bs left all hla estates which consisted of 200 clocks, to my father." The girl smiled, II "How Interesting!" aha laid. must have been real fun winding up hla estate." Philadelphia Inquirer. Along the Concrete kitMx VtfJ 'y A Fswl R.ply llajes looked thoughtful. Tullth inaLi- Hi ratine bed low, it h.i often Iwn said." - Hor Complaint Im going straight down to th rhtiken post ofllc to niak a complaint,' laid "Tell me," he said, "Is to eat when It I two weeks oldr Ills frit nd laughed. "Dont be absurd," be replied. "Of courae It Isnt." ltu)cs gave him a friendly push. "Then how does It live?" be asked. Tell me that," big enough fel- - "iluiik fellow would express it more nearly, dwit you think?" HALF HOUR LATER. ot5S EOTH SIDES 1 r O06HTTo Sr A vV Freda pertly. "Oh. darling," aald her young man, Ill do It for you. What is It you wsntr "I want to And out why they haven't delivered that box of chocolate you promised you were going to tend me," aha replied. Answers A iV- - $ c,rv- A. A Fast Worker Plutocrat (to young mao asking for hla daughter hand) And have you said any thing about this to my daugb $ Cv. - THE BOOB ter? Would be Suitor Not yet, sir. Too see. It was only last night that I heard you bad a daughter. Loudon Opinion. Ro.l Effort auld you bad plowed the ten acre Held? Plowman No, I only aald I was thinking about It Th Stout One Yes, I spent th Farmer Oh, I see; you've merely turned It over In your mind. entlr evening telling him that h had a terrible reputation for klsslog Wksra I Cot It girls against their will Tht Thin one And wbat did h Actor When I play "Othello" the do? whole pH Is bathed In tears. The Stout One 11 sat there Ilka Explorer That's nothing. My last wireless speech on my North pole a boob and denied It, trip was so realistic that most of the listeners are still In bed with colds. Big Thing Doing Maid Tbs furniture man Is here, ACCOMPLISHMENT maam. Mistress Ill see him In a minute. Tell him to taka a chair. Maid I did, but he started with the plana Montreal Gazette. Farmer Thought you Whatever la worth dolus la worth doing well. You woulilnt feel that way If you were well done." Alibi Why Is Our liosa la a crank on effl-deucy." " hats he up to now V "Figuring out a w ay for the stenog to chew her gum with two movements less per minute to the lower Jaw." 1 FINNEY OF THE FORCE -I tow o' m-- mc eotoeowps top of your milk?" "Well, we flit the bottles so full there ain't any room for cream." Tasslng Show (London). A Womans Driving License 'THAAsiK'tz, sck-A- N1 Vimit vez our IN W OR, BRIUO-- I'M ON MV WAY To tMS GARAGE To GET Sb early tub car MRS Good MARNIN ? Bonos wawts mb to PRlVe- SOME NOT HER FAULT ?- HER To VIXlT RELATIVES wealth all UNNERSYAN" WHY YER WiFB 51 DON'-- f PSAyterS hayin' vet DRive tm car. . INSTEAD OP HIRIN A SHOWFER. Shube,SoR, am vat Vets, Xt - there never any cream on "Oh, no, 1 never talk scandal. are a good Yes, my dear, but you listener." Th Explained Antique Dealer A rare piece. A revolver dating from Roman times. The Romans had no revolvers." "That Is why It Is so rare." Stock, holm Vart Hem. Right Pisco Ive come from the employment Comeback bureau, ma'am," said the glrL "They Owner of New Lawn Mower (firmsaid you wauted a servant" ly) I wouldn't lend It to my owq Put I do alt the work myself," re- father. plied the lady of the house. Would Be Borrower Youre wise, Then the place will Just suit me." I know the old chap. Humorist Over tho Radio me, but doesn't madam need the piano tuned?" I'm afraid thats not ours you hear. Youd better call at the BroadHumorist Mag casting company azlne. 'Tardon Of course I couldn't avoid hearing part of their com ersatlon. No, dear, and what h pity you werent able to hear all of It. WEAK LINK, TOO No Hopo Have Dickie? you said your prayers I prayed for yon Yes, Mummle. and Daddie, but not for Uncle Reg, because I heard Daddie say he was pnst praying for And Then Some I Think o poor old 'Arry bein sent "Jack has pretty big ears. to Jail I One 0 the fastest working "Yes, they are so big that his head seems merely a connecting link beburglars In the game." "Ah, well, he's takin' his time tween them." t now." Magazine. Facet Red? THREE AT A TIME 'Ave you eaten the sandwiches, mum?" Tit-Bi- Yes. Then I'll 'ave to clean the shoes with cream cheese." Everybodys. So jouve been able to keep your resolutions? Perfectly. j By GEORGE STORM BOBBY THATCHE- R- Over The Hills And Far Away.., A Wise Move I thought you always frequented good clubs? IIow Is It I find you In this doubtful place?" My wife said that If I went to such places I could go alone. Would jou mind sajing wliat preservative you use? Defending Him did you have to tell your Why been stork hear the has Unwed I mother 1 kissed you?" making a trip to your house. Shes always saying you havent Dndinoor A trip Triplets. Louisville the nerve. ! On tha Go Mother Helen Is getting prettier, don't you think so? Father Really, my dear, I cant say. I must get up early some morn ing and meet her as she conies In. If Ho Is Genuine genuine orator can go on long after he Is through, and Is welA He Darling, will yon fly with e? She Have you a flying license? Eddie KEEPING UP WITH THE JONESES THERE'S NOTHING TO IT, AL, MY BOY ILL LEARN TO PLAY PICK THE HORSE c th & & 0 r you believe In luck? course, I do. Aren't the getting it all the time." s - piano in no time HI y ''tf ' Si Ear Is Out Of Step come to. Control Curiosity Those who dont mind being rapped over the fingers, ask many questions. Better Gift Bobby, I gave your teddy bear to a poor little boy who had no father." Why didnt you give him father?" |