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Show Recreation Building for the Army Hoosier Couplets Ready Now for 0 Braille Readers - f I - - -- - DREvhpEARSON r r. . . , , r. i i : . '.Vr -- V Ortmeyer Humorous erse3 Free to Blind People Anywhere in U. S. A. .1 Washington, Notes of an S D. C. INSIDE STORY Word trickling back to the diplomatic corps from Germany indicates that Hitler is beginning to realize that the United States means business, and that he made a tragic mistake in not accepting the advice of his more conservative diplomats who warned him of this in the first AN Innocent Bystander: Old, but Good: Mrs. Jimmy Young, the newspaper gal, passes along the one about the American woman in London for her first air raid. She was so scared she jumped into a nearby garbage can. Two Chinese came along and saw her. "Goodness me! said the first. "What strange people are these Occidentals. In China we wouldn't think of throwing away a pretty woman like that for at least another ten years! place. In fact, the inside story, which now can be told, is one of the most tragic of the war. Possibly if it had not been for overweening personal jealousies the war might even have been prevented. Dot Is Dot Vay: Eddie Cantors What happened was that when favorite anecdote about Dot Parker Hans Dieckhoff, German ambassadeals with the time she was bored dor to Washington, returned to Berfor stiff at someone's country place lin in 1938, he brought back a strong week-enShe sent a pal this the report that the United States would telegram: if enter the war "Please rush loaf of bread and en- became the eventually Germany He was aggressor. close a saw and file! ready to warn that Germany faced a repetition of 1917-1But Foreign In Other Words: The World-Tell- y Minister Von Ribbentrop would not Interviewer described Franz Werfel, let him see Hitler. the German refugee author, this Ribbentrop, probably the most way: "Here is a small, stoutish ambitious man around der Fuehrer man with a face broad and gemuet-lic- h and a great friend of Himmler, as a kartoffel pfannkuchen. wanted to be the funnel for all adThats a nice thing to portisen vice going to Hitler. Also he was about a stan portis, and howd you him his own kind of aggresfeeding rillarah if he prampsoned the same sive advice, not the cooling caution sedkuppit? of Ambassador Dieckhoff. In the same cautious school with vaudevil-lians Quiteso, Quiteso: Two ambassador were Baron Von the were standing in front of the recently ousted as goverPalace .Theater reminiscing about Neurath,Czechoslovakia of nor because of "Too the good old days. bad," his moderate views; Hjalmar Just sighed the first nostalgically. of the Reichs-banas I was about to be booked into Schacht,nowgovernor in virtual retirement; this house, they rang the curtain and Capt. Fritz Wiedemann, Hitlers down on vaudeville and gone are former commander and more reall my hopes and dreams my toughcently consul general at San Franest break. cisco. Even Field Marshal Goer-in- g indifTo which the other replied was much more moderate than ferently: "So what? What did you Von Ribbentrop. miss a couple of bows? Czech Putsch Delayed. ' It was Captain Wiedemann, who, Notes of a New Yorker: around May, 1938, chiefly persuaded It could only happen in the mov- Hitler not to invade Czechoslovakia. ies, eh? Well it happened over at a He was then Hitlers military aide New York afternoon paper, where and attended a meeting of der the city desk was supposed to as- Fuehrers inner advisers at which sign a photographer to cover the general staff advised caution. Finalwar maneuvers in South Carolina ly Hitler, exasperated, threw up his . . . Instead, they sent him to North arms and ordered them all out of the Carolina, about 400 miles away tch, room. But Wiedemann stayed betch . . . Strangest sight on Fifth hind, and finally persuaded his chief Avenue these days seeing Boris to delay the march into Cezchoslo-vaki- a Karloff, the Hollywood chill-billat least until the fall of 1938 entering Elizabeth Ardens. Not to which was done. get prettified, merely to remove the Later, it was Wiedemann and his gray streaks from his hair so he moderates who persuaded Hitler to will look more like Boris Karloff in receive Chamberlain and Daladier "Arsenic and Old Lace. at Munich. But by this time it was too late for Ambassador Dieckhoff The Andrews Sisters will get to tell his story. $5,000 per week when they headRibbentrop never forgave Wiedeline at the Paramount Theater . . . mann for this. Also his vaunting The America Firsters are having ambition would permit no rival close their problems. Many backers have to Hitler, So, shortly thereafter, he deserted. The committee has shaved got Wiedemann transferred to a disexpenses, slicing the publicity staff tant and relatively unimportant to the bone. German consulate in the U.S.A. Later when Wiedemann was deportThe Big Parade: Robert C. Bench-leed from this, country, it is signifiwho lost one of his sox on the cant that Ribbentrop once again train the day before transferred him as far as possible ankling around the midtown places from Berlin this time to Tientsin, wearing a gray one with the other China. ankle nekkid A. A. Berle Jr., The foreign minister of Germany the Asst Secy of State, reminiscing wants no moderates around. with Damon Runyon over their Hearst apprenticeship . . . Gail PatANYTHING CAN HAPPEN rick of the Dont be surprised if a U. S. wargiving The Stork cub some class . . . Errol ship disembarks a load of Nazi Flynn the reason the beauty parsailors and turns them over to the lors are doing business . . . Eddy justice department to be tried on Duchm was in a boot shop when charges of "piracy. Geo. Jean Nathan came In "I It is even possible that In the want a comfortable pair of shoes, "haul may be an armed Nazi raidhe said . . . "Something for walker or two that had been operating ing? asked the clerk . . . "Well, down Brazil way. welld the critic, "something for Anything may happen these eventwalking out ful days since the President enunciated U. S. determination to mainJan Masaryk, now foreign mintain freedom of the seas, and ister for the Czechs in exile, is bound branded Nazi submarines and surfor the U. S. Jim Morris, owner face raiders in American waters as of the Detroit hockey team (and a Armed Nazi ships are "pirates. big racing stable) dropped $20,000 prowling American waters and the on Nova . . . Eighty million dollars U. S. navy has its orders. has been spent in Manhattan and It can be revealed that neither The Bronx this year for postage the justice nor war department biggest sales since 1929 . . . The post would be surprised if they had some office here will add 9,000 postal empirate seamen and "pirate craft ployees for the Christmas biz. Hired to deal with soon. Both have been only 6,000 last year . . . MGMs quietly studying for a week the law answer to that senate and precedents concerning such an was the $40,000 purchase of the eventuality. film rights to "Above Suspicion, The war department enters the another uppercut to the Bund. picture because under the law all a e war prisoners landed on U. S. soil Judge Landis new ruling will stop come under custody of the army. ball players from endorsing ciggies However, the U. S. is not at war, and hooch in their uniforms. In so there is doubt over the armys street clothes, anything goes. . . jurisdiction. The Louis-Confight contract has No final decision has been been signed for June, 1942, and proreached, but the consensus of the hibits Joe from giving anyone else legal experts is that any such a crack at the title before that date "pirates should be turned over to . . . One of the nations leading the justice department. chemists still refuses to pay off on One suggested procedure is that his Willkie (for President) wager the Nazis be landed at a U. S. port a Grand . . . The writers and and then jailed by the justice deg the publishers of the hit partment as aliens without passsmash, "I Dont Want to Set the ports. But most of the legal authorWorld on Fire, are living on borities contend that the Nazis should rowed coin! be dealt with squarely asbuccaneers. k, y, east-boun- d ... Moom-Pitche- ... ... n shoe-strin- The Retort Tropcr: Then theres the one about the draftee who escaped from the guardhouse. The sentry caught the dickens from his CAPITAL CHAFF In a direct membership election, the American Newspaper Guild has overwhelmingly defeated the leftist corporal. clique which for several years has "Diddcn I tell you to put a man controlled the national offices of uie at every exit? union. The entire group was cleaned "Yeah, but this bird was smart out and a militant anti-Reslate He left through an entrance. elected. e Cordell Hull has a new car, a long Broadway Byrons Definition of sleek limousine, but without either Carryin the Torch: When the Gal radio or heater. Quoted at $2,611 Who Made You Forget What Time It for the retail trade, the car cost the Was Has You Staring at the Also gas government only $1,800. costs only eight cents a gallon. d INDIANAPOLIS, H. IND.-Ar- thur writer of couin the plets, who conducts a column "Hoosier called News Indianapolis has widened his field Homespun, of homespun philosophy and humor into braille. The couplets, some of which appear below, are now being lidistributed by the Indiana state Ortmeyer, well-know- n pKai Invented fla!,0 The process of reprod., .ones of a photograph by 'r dotted or checkered vented in 1880 by stetfi Horgan, an American h pher, says Pathfinder halftone ever printed ana.r Union.) Newspaper Western (Released by the New York Daily SEVERAL ALTERNATIVES 1880; But Horgans pSl; not immediately 1 AHEAD OR ELSE INFLATION accepted THE GOVERNMENT is pouring he was fired as art York Herald in 1833. out billions of dollars in the form of the suggested using halftones exceptionally high wages for This lisher James Gordon n production of war materials. direct-N- ew increased revenue in the hands of the people is producing an unusual demand for civilian consumer goods. The government, through the priorities board, is limiting materials that may be used for the producof civilian commodities, thus tion The post office gives free brary. a shortage of those in decreating v , w j postage, as it does with all braille mand. This demand, without suffipublication in the U. S. Any sightcient merchandise to meet it, is less braille reader in the country causing a rapid price increase. book may borrow for reading, the Foods, especially, go higher each w ,v.. ife Lines postage free, on appliday. It is out of such conditions inflation is created. Architects drawing of hospital recreation building under construc- cation. that Alabama and Mississippi state lition at 65 army hospitals. The buildings will be furnished and operated American people have these The in pubhave asked for rights by American Red Cross, which will provide motion pictures and other braries alternatives: of book and the Library entertainments, and through Its own staff carry on social service and lishing the Stop, or materially limit preparedOrtmey-er- s recreation program. Each building will contain a theater, recreation Congress will begin issuingselections ness and aid to England production. A few couplets soon. for relatives summoned to bedroom, small kitchen and guust-room- s A wage reduction that will presides of soldiers. Living and office quarters for Red Cross staff also from the couplets follow: vent people from having money with will be included In the building. which to buy. Churning waters sing a paean Even in a wash machine. A system of rationing of all food WASHINGTON. The hos- tainment and comfort articles while in the hospital. It will sick hes and other commodities for civilian yet quite vies pital nurse smiled as she held help him find employment when he No double feature use, with each individual privileged sunrise. and sunset of With that the telegram before the eyes returns to civilian life and it will to buy only an equal share of what of the woman on the bed. is produced. give assistance to his family when Ortmeyer goes humorous: Quiz It said, ,Red Cross and my they are in trouble. Government price fixing that will A woman druggist, how to list her? keep prices at a normal level withlittle Cross There the Ied is that o. k. officer say commanding for a servicemen. ReThe soph replied: A Pharmacister! out sufficient commodities to supply for me to come, will arrive will nota do soldier was brought into a the demand. Impression cently hospital twelve hours, Red military hospital with both eyes to- A waffle is, so Ive heard said; Or suffer the evils of inflation that Cross lending train fare keep tally and permanently blinded in an A pancake with a tread! may bankrupt all of us. Count Ten It was accident A volunteer Red Cross your chin up Mom. when ire would have its fling, a worker there half Recall, year spent Pete. signed EACH YEAR $142 It cost a bee his life to sting! The nurse tried to describe teaching the boy to read braille. JOHN DOE has a mortgage on Bent The Pleasure Another army camp reports the the effect of that telegram on case his farm amounting to $4,735, on of a veterans widow who was The pleasure bent this is no joke the anxious mother. refused government compensation Oft find themselves both bent and which he is paying an annual interest charge of $142. That is the broke! Sort of like a blood trans- because officials lacked evidence of proportionate share of each John her husbands said. disability. During fusion, she Doe who is the head of a family of next few months, a busy Red the makare like Petes Telegrams average size of the indebtedness of field Cross wrote more than director ing people realize more and rpore 200 our various branches of government unon her letters behalf, finally these days just how much the Red municipal, county, state and naCross manages to do for Uncle earthing the evidence which meant tional. It includes his share of obSams army and navy. American her livelihood. ligations incurred by the many admothers are learning that the Red Right now the Red Cross is ministrations and corporations creCross will give their sons in camp busy constructing headquarters ated by congress, the indebtedness of in time for 62 its staff at definite practical help buildings army of which is guaranteed by the fedtrouble. Back in 1905 congress camps, and has undertaken to fureral government, and also includes named the Red Cross the official nish and operate hospital recreation his share of the vast appropriations Ameri65 in in the men between the link army stations and buildings made and to be expended within the can armed forces and their families general hospitals. Furnishings for next 12 to 18 months. He may not at home; since that day the Red the latter will include a theater and know it, but he pays that $142 anshooter trouble motion the as well Cross has been picture equipment, nual interest charge. It is a part of or worry buster of every soldier. as offices and a lounge. Thanks to his tax bill or, indirectly, it is inthe Red American mothers Cross, the at If there is illness home, cluded as a part of the price of evRed Cross, through its local chap- can be perfectly sure that their conerything he buys. There are more ters and its field directors in each valescent sons will have plenty of than 26,000,000 John Does in the Unitentertainment with approved medically camp, will keep the boy posted ed States, of which more than 6,000,-00- 0 while are laid they up. minute news. It will verify are farmers. Red Cross service to the armed home conditions and, as in the case of Pete, help him obtain emergency forces covers a lot of ground. The LABOR AND CAPITAL furlough, or perhaps a dependency army and navy recruit their nurses From all appearance Cadet Richwell him will from the of THERE WILL COME A TIME In the reserve It Red nursing keep discharge. ard M. Wright, of Richmond, Ind., supplied with reading matter, enter- - Cross. The present drive to collect is about to board an airplane at the America when labor and capital will 200,000 units of human blood plasma very site where his famous cousins, be recognized as partners in indusfor the armed forces is another Red Wilbur and Orville Wright, once try, when labor will be treated as a Cross assignment. And just to top conducted a flying school. ds This partner and will definitely know, not things off, the women of this coun- photo, taken at Maxwell Field, Ala., merely be told, that it receives lais Bacon NEW YORK. Daisy try, as volunteers in the ranks of in the Southeast air corps training bors fair share of what is produced. Just about the readinest woman the Red Cross, this year handed center, where Cadet Wright is now Labor, generally, receives more She reads carefully and over to the United States alive. army and enrolled in the Pilot Replacement than that today, but it is only told more than navy over 28,000,000 surgical dressweighs with judgment Wishful it is not shown that fact When lawing, might be called 1,000,000 words every week. Miss ings, and are now starting upon a Thinking. Keen to start flying like bor is definitely shown, the difficulBacon is editor of three national batch of 500,000 sweaters. 700 other cadets in his class, Wright ties between labor and capital will magazines and studies each line that end. Such a system is working now As one soldier put it, Uncle will not be allowed to enter an airgoes into them. She is the only Sams our in isolated cases. The first thing and iniofficer, he until has commanding an plane completed woman in the world who is active he looks out for us the best he can. tial training course, which needed is for those who control capeditor-in-chiof such a trio and the But the Red Cross well, the Red will condition him to enter flying ital to realize that they are but one woman who edits an trustees of industry. Cross is Mrs. Sam. school. weekly book. She publishes only a about 800,000 words month, but BOOTLEGGING FOOD must read the astounding total to AN ENGLISH FRIEND and his American wife were my luncheon ' v A guests in London one day during World War L I asked them to remain for the afternoon and have dinner with me that evening. The gentleman explained they could not because he had a date with a bootlegger who had promised to deliver to him a pound of jam that afterWANTED WANTED Th value, achieved by interposing . between the original phot! and the plate to be etched' Horgan also experimented J transmitting photographs h, inventing a method in 1375 1 At the first sign of s coin mind to avoid the yur sniffling, sneezing, sorenS' stuffy condition of nS, possible.Iniert Mentholatl each nostril. Also rub it viiZ' your chest. Youll be wl, th wy Mentholatumcoa-- ; misery and helps fort Jars or tubes, 30c. non-ski- d Quick Wit Wit, like money, bears am value when rung down imnw Iy it is wanted. Men pay sev who require credit. Douglas rold. MillionW or W eekly five-we- Rural Folks Go to Church r ifiSHt . " V " r noon. The bootlegging of rationed commodities was as common in England at that time as was the bootlegging of liquor during our days of Should we adopt a raprohibition. tioning system as a method of price control, we will again have bootlegging in every rationed commodity. I wonder if the man who would not buy bootleg whiskey would buy bootleg jam. 'J .'...A DONT find what she wants to print For relaxation she reads a few books each week. Thoroughly feminine, tall, slender, blonde, her hobbies are perfect clothes and cats. Her costumes are of her own design and have resulted in her being called one of the best dressed women in the country. Her love for cats is exemplified by pets at her apartment at 40 Fifth avenue, New York, and by a parade of about 200 modeled figures of felines across the top of her editorial desk. A descendant of Gov. William Bradford of Plymouth Colony, and the family of Sir Franjis Bacon, she loves the West and usually spends her vacation there. One of her great-uncleJohn Holbrook, was one of the noted sheriffs at Fort Dodge, Iowa, in early days, helping to bring about peace in a turbulent area. An earlier ancestor was Deacon John Holbrook of Vermont, one of the first American publishers. Miss Bacon has an uncanny faculty of quickly choosing stories and articles favored by her readers. wor COHSTIPATiO SLOW mac last h YOU UP i).sh When bowels are sluggish and ra irritable, headachy and everything do is an effort, do as millions -: the modem ek gum laxative. Simply chew HI MINT before you go to out being disturbed next morning gr thorough relief, helping you feel r. again, full of your normal pep. Tastes good, is k and economical. A generous family sr nselv I cert do- FEEN-A-MIN- ts. Bi bed-tle- rters S'culin t ority FEEN-A-MIN- FEEN-A-fillN- Ti CHICAGO. Rural Americans have proven to be better Sunday school promoters than their city brothers, a survey made public here by the International Council of Religious Education discloses. The first nation-wid- e survey of Sunday school distribution and attendance showed that 72 per cent of all church schools in the United States are found in rural areas of less than 2,500 population. In attendance, however, the urbanites have an advantage. Sunday schools located in cities have an average enrollment of 210 compared to the rural church schools 65. A nation-wid- e average of 114 is main- tained. Thirty-si- x Protestant denominathrough the International Council, operate Sunday schools in the United States and now have a total of 160,430 schools. Total pupil enrollment for these schools was announced as 20,772,141. Dr Mary Leigh Palmer, associate director of leadership education, made public the statistical findings of the survey. tions, worn i; to g re asst m Best Chance There is in the worst tune the best of chances happy change. Euripides. Kid 0 pc icause fpyur m re :ort of Beware from common That compli Cougt About colds fn iiter r'orru Hang Creomulsion relieves promptly cause It goes right to the seat a trouble to help loosen and 0 germ laden phlegm, and aid into soothe and heal raw, tender, flamed bronchial mucous k branes. Tell your druggist to ter a bottle of Creomulsion with:w derstanding you must like the quickly allays the cough or you to have your money back. CREOMULSIO is an, u1 crit s lie te rea :e, si m jt can to I idivic srves 1 one 1 to n love d, for Coughs, Chest Colds, Bront ry negle S whe a Bolt Rumors Power bled Rumor has a hundred to a hundred mouths, a voice a Vergil. disap i A ir on slave MIDDLE-AG- E own, s (3 WOMEN mi oe w t do she HEED THIS ADVICE arecl If youre cross, restless, heve dizz6; e S Rnffpr hofc flashes, -- to me ;tttok on a age e er th. ely i for . r , 4131 1 I DID NOT THINK he would run for a third term, was the clever answer Jim Farley made to a reporter who asked if Jim thought the President would run for a fourth term. TOWARD TOTALITARIANISM A GROUP of distinguished scientist and economists at a recent ses- n uhwCSg0 ,aid to technical and high brow" language that the tendency of government is heading rapidly toward the elimination of the American system of free competition, the American way of life the death of small business and individual opportunity, with government direction of large business. These men say we are rapidly near-ta- g a state of totalitarian from which we will not socialism, emerge. i Die other fellows submarines and sea raiders may not be considered war, any more than bombing and Chinese cities and killing burning Chinese Times and ideas have people. changed since the Constitution was adopted. The rural sections of the country are better promoters of Sunday School attendance than those In cities, according to a recent survey by the International Council of Religious Education. The chart above pictures the situation today, in accordance with figures released by the council. (1) 14,500,000 crimes in 1940. (2) 1 crime in 5 by boy or girl. (3) 185,000 U. S. Sunday schools. (4) Criminologists say church training prevents crimes. ka: LET TIMES CHANGE THE CONSTITUTION of the Unit-e- d States provides that only congress may declare war. Sinking the Daisy Bacon iff lent) PHIS . J love a iy Wright Cadet up-to-t- Ft riow IS rully Rmu B.tb for I Air CmIo4 Uonro DbUng Rnm Off Ktwmnb xehanf CkmmUt f Ctmmf Hotel Ben OGDEN. (i tni!Sp0 1 HIM Rftait m "". Lome11 FT A I. TWk |