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Show if iff ALL WERE ENGLISH TO HER. THE SPICE OF LIFE Bellicose On Ducks. From Farmers' Review: The idea that a duckling covered only with down if allowed to get entirely wet ja a dead duck is prevalent and really that everyone almost believes this. The down, if it gets entirely wet, is quite a while in drying, so long that the duck is very apt to chill; after it is feathered they shed the water, thus protecting the down, so it is doubtful if ever a feathered good it ia ducks down gets wet. A down clothed duckling might enjoy itself in water, not cold, of a warm sunny day, with only benefit derived from the exercise, but how many would natch that they got to swimming water only in such favorable times? Thus it is best to not .allow ducklings water in which they can swim; nor allow them to be out in the rain until after they are feathered. But dont forget they must have water in a deep vessel, deep enough for them to cover their entire bill above the nostrils. If this is neglected the nostril openings will get clogged with feed and dirt and the duck will die. This is the only way they have of blowing their nose. Ducks blow their nose with water and hens bathe in dust, but both require lots of grit and charcoal. Little chicks and ducks require their grit to be in the shape of coarse sand, or at least a large part of it to be sand. Dont let the downy ducklings bathe in waer or get caught in the rain; they wont come in; it might not hurt them. We have had some that thrived on it, but it is risky. Emma Clearwaters. Natural Winter Layers. In choosing fowls for winter laying one must be governed a good deal by the origin of the breeds. Thus it is not to be expected that birds of the Mediterranean class or those deriving their origin frcftn India would prove as good layers in the far north as birds that originate in regions far north. The Mediterranean classes are without doubt good layers, but for the coldest weather In say Wisconsin we would expect to have the best result from the offspring of such breeds as those- - that have been kept in North China for a thousand years and have thus been hardened in their The breed characteristics ancestry. will crop out often even In the laying qualities of the birds. This is in direct accord with the experience of the farmers of this country. Some years ago the Farmers Review sent out inquiries as to what fowls had been found to be the best winter layers. A large number of answers were received, and the majority of the replies favored the Black Langshan The Black Langshans are from north China, a region where the mercury sinks down sometimes to 40 degrees below zero. For summer layers we ,ould select some breed from tropical or regions, such as the Leghorns and the games, but for winter layers we would select always birds thdt have originated in colder climates. semi-tropic- Balanced Rations for Chicks. Rhode Island Experiment Station: One mixture of seeds was made as follows, at the suggestion of the For chicks from one day to six weeks old: Mix four parts cracked oats, one of fine cracked wheat, two of rolled oats, one-hal-f of millet seed, one-hal- f of broken rice, aad two of fine scraps. For the first two weeks we have added one pint of millet seed leaving out scraps during the first week. Boiled eggs, three for each fifty chicks, have also been fed. After six weeks and up to ten weeks feed the following mixture Mix four parts cracked corn, two of fine cracked corn, one of rolled oats, one-hal- f of millet, one-hal- f of broken rice, one of grit and two of scraps. For chicks kept in the colony system give for grain, three parts wheat and four of cracked corn. Also give the following mash three times per week, and daily after ten weeks: Mix one part ground corn, one of ground oats, and one of brown shorts. To feed the meat scraps we made the seed feed into a mash with boiling water, mix the scraps witn it, and covered the mass until it was well steamed. This mash seems to hasten the growth of the chicks. "While it seemed necessary to feed the youngest chicks rather oftener, those ten days old were fed mash in the morning, green food at noon, sad dry seeds at night poul-tryma- The Bronze Turkey. The bronze turkey is at the present time without a rival. The large size and hardiness are not equalled by Without any other of this genus. doubt in the two Tespects mentioned they will never be excelled, as the fanciers that are handling them will doubtless continue to improve them, and will in that way keep pace with the improvement of less important breeds. The bronze variety was produced by crossing the wild turkey cock upon the domestic turkey hen, and tne produce was afterward improved by careful selection and breeding. Cocks of this variety have been to 40 pounds known to weigh from and the hens as high as 25 pounds. The query naturally arises, What weights will be attained in the next rate of fifty years, if the present progress is kept up? Young gobblers have weighed as high as 25 pounds at eight months of age and young turkey hens have frequently attained a weight of 15 pounds. Pretty for Lawn Borders. The crimson clover, used as a cultivator, is charming for lawn borders or the rear sections of narrow lots. It transplanted, may be successfully with careful treatment, and will prove a revelation to many people. The blossom is vivid crimson, long, pointed, and makes the prettiest of bouquets. nearer heaven by longing to the upper classes of No one is be- Wife of a French Attache Didn't Recognize Americans. A French woman with a bitter tongue who is the wife of one of the attaches of the French embassy at Rome has succeeded in getting her husband into difficulties with his superiors, and all because she did not know the difference between an n and an American. The French attache and his wife lived in a flat beneatn a newly arrived American couple, and the French woman burned in her stove a particularly sooty kind of soft coal which made endless trouble for her neighbors overhead. The American finally wrote a polite note asking the lady if she could not use some other kind of fueL Within half an hour the American received a highly bellicose reply addressed to The Englishman on the fifth floor." It informed him that he was exceedingly impel tinent, and that he had better take his insolent orders to the Transvaal and rid Europe of the presence of such an obnoxious creature. The American sent the note to the landlord. The landlord forwarded it to the French embassy. The embassy formally excused itself from taking any official action in the matter. Then it proceeded to make it so hot for the poor attache and his bellicose wife that he has since left the embassy, after assuring his wife that in future he will keep an eye on the notes she writes to strangers. Renovated Butter. Renovated butter is now a subject of national Inspection, it has not been placed under though as rigid rules as has oleomargarine. The license that must be paid by the manufacturers of renovated butter is but 50 per year, and nothing at all is required of the retailers. The factories, however, are subject to regulations that make it impossible for the manufacture of butter and the renovation of butter to be carried on in the same place. Thus a renovated butter establishment must be entirely separated from anything else. If butter is made under the same roof, the part of the establishment in which butter is renovated must be separated from the other by a dead wall a wall having no openings of any kind. No doors are allowable. The manufacturer of renovated butter is compelled to give a bond of $5,000 guaranteeing that he will comply with the laws in the management of his factory. Moreover every package of butter that goes out of the factory must bear a notice to the effect that the manufacturer has complied with the law. Unless he files the bond as specified no license is granted. Every package of renovated butter must bear a revenue stamp. In the top of every package of butter ORIGIN OF THE RED CROSS.. must be impressed the words Renovated Butter, and if the butter is made into prims each print mu3t bear Beginning of Remarkable Work Done by this Organization. these words. The factory can ship In reading the record of work done out no package containing less than ten pounds, but the package may con- by the Red Cross in South Africa one tain any number of prints. When on wonders once again that history should be so silent as to the treatment of the sale these prints must be kpt in the original package till disposed of. The sick and wounded in the great cammanufacturers of renovated butter are paigns of the past. Even the inauguration of the movement in 1863 at Gecompelled to lay their books open to the inspection of government officials neva, which has enabled the world to and they must account for every realize the paradox of how in the midst of war to be at peace, created pound of material coming in and go- no more stir in Europe than to give ing out of the factory. rise to but a few lines in an out of the way part of the Times. Yet four-teeInefficient Skimming. governments had sent delegates, J. W. Hart: Perhaps the greatest such and aristocratic bodies as the Anleak in creameries is inefficient skimcient Order of St. John of Jerusalem, ming, through using fnferior separators, or on account of one or more of and such authorities were represented the following: Overfeeding the sepa as Miss Florence Nightingale, whose in the Crimea had first in hisrator, separating at too low tempera- work stimulated on the tory not tures, the bowl running steadily, behalf of the wounded.imagination imBut the or at too low speed. A separator thai will skim 3,000 pounds of milk in the mediate occasion of the convention was the awful battles of Magenta and spring, should have its capacity cut of Solferino in 1859, which left 52,000 down to 2,500 in the fall to do equally clean skimming where the speed and killed and wounded on the battlefield, their blood giving the name to a new temperature remain the same. The more than thirty skim milk should be tested daily, and dye, magenta. nations are Agreed to abide by the the information gained by testing convention. Toward the conthe skim milk should be used in reg- Geneva war of clusion the Spanish-Americaulating the various factors that go to the our Blue Book was a to parallel With a make clean skimming. good big, handsome grayxvolume, with separator intelligently run the loss of massive red cross on the cover, and fat in the skim milk, as compared Miss Clara Barby illustrated, fully a with the loss in running fairly good American the ton, Lady of the machine by a somewhat careless opLondon Chronicle. Lamp. of amount to erator, might 1 per cent. If the creamery receives How It Is Done In Siam. 8,000 pounds of milk a day the loss The king of Siam could teach Amerof butter fat in a year would amount to 2,400 pounds which, at 20 cents a ican nepotists something of the game. sons fill the positions of comppound would be valued at $480. This His of is by no means an extreme case, and troller general of finance, minister arof chief in the commander justice, it is likely that the loss of fat in my and deputy superintendent of the skimming would have to be considercomnavy, his only surviving full brother before the patrons ably greater are is minister of war, ment upon it. minister of public works, minister of the interior, minister of foreign afColoring Oleomargarine. The Internal Revenue Department fairs, minister of finance, minister of of the United States has issued rules local government, director of the privy as to how oleomargarine may be col- purse, minister of the royal household, ored. It says that no coloring matter director general of hospitals and high and a cousin is director may be put into oleomargarine and commissioner, One way and ancustoms. of general that no butter containing coloring seem to be the Chulalongkoms matter can he put into 1L Bur if other well. quite doing artificial from free butter absolutely coloration, or cottonseed oil free from His Gratitude Was Limited. artificial coloration or any other of A contributor tells of an encounter the mixture of compounds legally used In the manufacture of the finished he overheard between a Dublin caba product has naturally a shade of yel- by and a gouty Englishman during low in no way procured by artificial recent visit abroad. The Englishman coloration the product, though lookalighted at the Victoria hotel, and was a to be assisted carefully across the pavewill like subject butter, ing of one cent per pound. ment and up the steps by the Celt, tax of only This seems to us a reasonable regu- who did not let go the sufferers arm n that butter until two porters sprang forward inlation. It is enters to a considerable extent into side the main door to act as escort. the composition of some brands of The Englishman turned and handed exact The law recognizes the cabby a shilling the oleomargarine. this and no effort has been made to amount of the legal fare. Thanks, yer honor, said the drivprevent this use of butter. At least I could wish yoez a speedy reer. we may feel certain that the combination of a small amount of butter covery with better grace if yer hear-r- t with a large amount of oleomargar- was as tinder as yer feet! ine will not result In producing an article that cannot be told from butHis One Hope. ter. A story is told of an officer of the twentieth infantry, who at a regimenScoring Milk. tal drill one day commanded a batal-lio- n S. C. Keith: The Hanford-Hazle- for the first time. During one of wood Cream company in Iowa have a the movements he got on the wrong method of scoring milk as butter flank of his battalion, and though he judges score butter, and there is some discovered his mistake at once, he relittle rivalry among milk producers mained there, rather than make the to see who will receive the highest change to avoid confusion. After the average score; they take pride in drill he happened to meet the colonel, sending milk that will score high. I who remarked casually: do not know whether it is practicable You were on fbe wrong flank of or not, but I honestly believe that if your battalion at one time during the we could y pay for milk by what drill this morning. it scored, and if we had a good score I knew Yes, colonel, he replied. system, we would see them fall into it and the Lord knew it, but I hoped reline.The surest way to get good you didnt sults is through a mans pocketbook; him realize make can that it if you Chinese Show Gratitude. will benefit him financially and that Chinese of Brooklyn have The in send to interest his good for is it the Washington Avenue Bapin placed fall soon into will line; nink they a memorial window for church tist cows three times they will wash their Mitchell Sizer, wife of a day if necessary, tut if he thinks Mrs. Georgians B. Sizer, because of her Nelson Dr. and is all there get they you get work for the many years in nothing they will not want to do any- good she was superintendent of the which for you. thing Sunday school for Chinese. The subSaFour Kinds of Patrons. ject of the window is the good are beneath the and picture maritan," A speaker at a dairymens conventwo tablets, one in English, the other tion described four kinds of patrons Chinese." A Chinese physician in 1. The model pa of the creamery: the matter and the committee first-clas- s started man with barns, the tron, a cent first-clas- s cows and first-clas- s feed. To in charge would not accept countrymen. froiathelr first-class methods. these are added 2. The dairyman that has all the apEgyptian Cotton in the South. pliances named above, but haB poor methods. 3. The man that has good Egyptian cotton, is being Introduced cows and good barns but cares noth- in Texas, and promises to revolutionof the south. ing about feod or methods, trying to ize the cotton industry than the It is much more desirable get the most money out of the creamUnited States the in 4. raised work. for least the cotton ery possible The farmer that has poor hams, poor now, and Is even better than the sea cows, poor feed and poor methods. He island cotton. The Egyptian 'cotton other 'cotgenerally produces poor milk and lit- has much longer fibre than so removed be can seed and its tle of it. tons, easily that it is not necessary to cut club waiters ara fry up the cotton in ginning 1L to order. called quently Eng-lishma- MERRY JESTS THAT WILL DRIVE AWAY DULL CARE. ERE is a story of an unsuccessful ruse in love, and a kidnaped poodle. Billinger and Batterson were rivals for the good graces of Miss May-heand Miss Mayhew was dotingly fond of her pug, Chicot It was after a visit to his adored fue that Billinger was struck with a idea. As he turned into tne avenue he met a butchers boy whom he remembered as having, on rare occasions, by reason of a reputation for unimpeachable integrity, been intrusted with the precious Chicot on rainy days when, deepite the weather, it was deemed desirable that the animal should be e'xercised. Billinger stopped the hastening youth and addressed him something in this wise: Young man, are you ambitious? The boy grinned amiably, for he knew Billinger, and responded succinctly: Sure thing. TIs well, quoth Billinger. Have you any oojection to laying forthwith the foundations of the princely fortune that will one day be yours? The boy grinned again and guessed not, whereupon Billinger, with many admonitions to secrecy, unfolded his plot. The details of the conspiracy are not important. Suffice li to say that one rainy morning about ten days later the boy appeared at Billingers office in John street with a and altogether rebellious Chicot, whom an office boy was straightway deputed to tie to the safe in Billingers sanctum. Well done, good and faithful servant, said Billinger solemnly to the butcher's boy. "Behold now, how virtue is rewarded. And he gave his fellow conspirator more money than n one-tent- h half-brothe- well-know- to-da- es-ce- pt Well-behave- d . Viusband Knew What to Expect When He Was Called Darling Good Scheme to Make Time Pass Away through; nothing else could have saved you. The Convalescent But I cannot see that you have made any reduction In your bill for my fine constitutions share in the cure. Quickly. Mrs. Noah Up to Date. Noah, finding his wife weeping on the quarterdeck, inquired what was the matter. Im afraid people will say our fashions came out of the ark, she sobbed. Never mind, he returned, we can have the apes to dine with us to- night "N Extravagant Wish. Have you selected a play for next season? No, answered the sensational that Is a matter of some difficulty. I would give a great deal if I could find a playwright whose imagination is as fertile as that of my press agent. s; Had Been There Before. Reassured by being thoroughly up-tdate, she dried her tears and went down to swipe some plumes off the ostrich. o Why She Detested It. Again, complains the devoted wife, I am told that you have been flirting with that odious Miss Mashem on the piazza. Bah! retorts the gay husband, thinking to ridicule the suspicions of Eah! he repeats. his wife. It isnt so bad, asserts the wife, for a man to be guilty, but what I detest is when he acts so sheepish about it much-bedraggle- d lord to speak Billinger shuddered in his dim corner by the door. stuttered Batterson. was so fortunate as to find Chicot, you see. Yes, yes, cried the joyful mistress of the dog,- thank heaven. I was afraid I should never see him again. But where how, oh, tell me! I beg you. Billinger waited as waits the his criminal to hear convicted his Batterson cleared "Sentence. "I-er- throat. Er not far from my office in John street, he said, as I was going to luncheon. Billinger seized a chair to n To-da- y Billinger was speecnless. He rose and took one step toward the door. Flight was his purpose. Nothing else was left him now. Too late! At that very instant Miss Mayhew entered the room. A handkerchief was pressed to her eyes, and if there had been sufficient light it could have been seen that they were red. Billinger stood miserably aside. Batterson advanced proudly to the middle of the room, but before he could speak the pOuule leaped from his arms and rushed with joyous yelps upon his mistress. Batterson was clothed in a proud humility, and as he opened his mouth j No Credit In the Bill. Dr. Jalap Well, you may thank your fine constitution for pulling you keep from falling. He could hardly realize that he was to be spared. The poor, poor doggie!" cried the lady. And to think he had walked all the way down there. I cant think how he failed to be killed by a trolley car or a truck or something. It is simply marvelous. How can I ever thank you enough? And she pressed a kiss upon Chicots black, wet muzzle. You have no idea how all this has upset me, went on Miss Mayhew, especially coming at a time when I was so happy when I so wanted evto be serene and joyous.' he had ever seen at any one time in erything reprieve was too recent for Billingers his life. but Batterson managed to speech, Then he glanced triumphantly at the captive Chicot and went out to say:Eh? How do you mean? I dont unluncheon in high spirits. What I will derstand. ao to that pestiferous pup, said he Of course you dont, said Miss to himself, will be what the etiquette But "How should you? Mayhew. sufil a as books describe general when that wretched boy came to tell ciency." me he had lost dear Chicot I was x Alas for Billinger. While he was a at himself handsomely treating neighboring cafe, who should drop In at his vpfflce but the hated Batterson, whose partner had a law case in Billingers hands. The first object that met his astonished gaze was the form of the Chicot. Now it happened that Batterson had received by telephone the awful news of Chicot's takFunny thing, he thought. ing off. Billinger must have found the pup. But then he remembered that Miss Mayhew had said that she had asked Billinger to advertise for him. He remembered this the more distinctly because he haa offered his own services to that end, and had been anything but pleased to find that he had been anticipated. A great light began to illumine the He obscurity of Battersons mind. passed into the hall, carefully closing the uoor behind him, and Billingers private office by the other door. Batterson untied the rope that fastened the dog to the safe, just writing to you and Mr. Billinger saving the other end still tied to to tell you of my engagement to Lord hat substantial piece of furniture. Bletherington." Then, taking the joyous Chicot in his arms, he stole silently out into the Billinger and Batterson went dolehall, closing the door behind him, and fully down the brownstone steps arm walked down eight flights of stairs. in arm. The war was over. I say, old fellow, said Billinger, Peering cautiously out into the street, he rejoiced to see no Billinger, and mournfully, I know a place around bearing his armful of muddy dog, fled the corner where theres a chap who makes the best mint julep in New precipitately toward Broad street. York. Eh? What? said Batterson, absently. Oh, I dont mind if I do. As they sadly turned the corner they met an automobile careering madly up the avenue. A pair of feet reposed upon the dashboard. Behind the feet appeared a mouth between whose lips was held a long, fat, black cigar. The face was the face of the butchers boy. He was having the time of his life. ns nFiftfilEK Washington Still Champion. L. Grant Litchfield of Ohio y tried to perform a feat which, according to tradition, has never been acB1LUMCXP complished but by George Washingreturned from ton. Young Litchfield, watched by When Billinger to scale the luncheon his first thought was for hundreds, attempted Chicot In vain he searched the of- steep side of the ci!ff which forms fice. Chicot was not to be found. He part of the Natural Bridge in ordor summoned the head clerk. Nobody that he might carve his name at the had entered his sanctum, declared top. He is a man of unusual strength and activity, and he succeeded in asthat functionary, but Mr. Batterson. Batterson! cried the unhappy Bil- cending fifty feet by clinging to the crevices in the rock and the vegetation linger, and collapsed into a chair. growing thereon. Did he take the dog away? CertainAbove that point the cliff rears itself Mr. clerk Batterthe replied. not, ly son went out as he had entered, and naked and almost perpendicular. Here he was perfectly certain that he had his heart failed him, and he turned to descend. He had gone only a short no dog concealed about his person. distance when the treacherous rock the dismissed clerk and Billinger cursed his luck for five minutes with- crumbled beneath bis feet and he fell out repeating himself. Then, in des- headlong, turning over and over in his peration, he closed his desk and sent descenL He rose to his feet unaided, for a cab. The suspense was unen- and an examination showed that he durable. He had made up his mind had only a few bruises. He announced later that Washingto know 'the worst at once, i answered his ring ton might keep the championship belt The man Richmond, (Va.) Correspondence would see if Miss Mayhew was at New York Sun. home and ushered him into a drawing Boom. As soon as his eyes became accustomed to the Immensity of the Ocean. dim half light he was aware of a If all the land on the globe above figure In the chair by the window. The Bea level were shoveled into the North aext instant he recognized it It was Atlantic It would only reduce its depth In his lap lay a forlorn from an average of two miles to one jBattermon. black heap whose nanm was Chicot mile. At Home All Day. "Why weepest thou, woman? My lord will be buried this day. My wife was burled yesterday. Tomorrow I must get me another. Whereupon the widow shook the ashes from her shining hair, dried her eyes, and, looking into the face of the widower, smiled. all I will be at home day, she said. Smart Set Wouldnt Post Bills. Dear, dear, sighed Mrs. Nuliwed; I suppose Ill have .o take this receipted bill down to the milliner myself. You can mail it, cant you? asked her husband. No, indeed. Ive seen those large signs stuck up all over the city which read: Post no bills. Still in the Family. T deeply regret it, sir, but honor and my altered circumstances compel me to release your daughter from her engagement I cannot enter your family a beggar. In a recent deal in stocks I lost my entire fortune. Not another word, my boy not another word. I got it Fitted for the Choir. Pastor Your daughter is very handsome, Mr. Smith. Father Yes, she is. Im thinking of having her join your choir. Pastor Thats good. Is she a fine vocalist? Father No, but shes got a devil of a temper. The Way o Women. She Married? The idea! And she was just beginning to make her name famous as a novelist. He It only proves that no woman can make her name so famous that she wouldnt change it if she got a ''wsw'r bov A Gentle Hint ' It was 11:30. she said, although the Yes, seemed a little abrupt, I re-mar- al- Then she paused ways sleep well. and plaintively added in a hopeless murmur, When I get a chance." Whereupon the youth, who had been overstaying himself took his hat and softly stole away. The Woman of It. Maude Charlie Wiggins sent me a handsome mirror for a birthday present. Clara That accounts for the funny question he asked me the other evening. Maude What did he ask you? Clara If a woman ever got too old to be pleased with a looking glass. ; Her Exclusive Style. Mrs. McCall Why on earth you get such a plain gown? Mrs. Hauskeep All on account of our cook. Mrs. McCall I dont understand. Mrs. Hauskeep Well, she always goes in for gaudy things, and I want to have just one dress that she wont copy. Honesty Vaccine. young "Doctor, said the wild-eyeman, my wife is a kleptomaniac. Do you think you can do anything tor her? Well, we might try vaccination, You know replied the young doctor. that keeps people from taking things. d An Infallible Prescription. Patient Doctor, tell me something chance. to make the time pass more quickly. Just now it drags so that I have noth A Great Boomer. ing to think of except myself. Its really astonishing the busiDoctor Indorse a note falling dua ness success that young Calliper has in three months for a bit more than attained, and hes not much more than your present income affords. a little lad now. Recognized the 8ound. Well, when you come to think of it, It was her first ride in an automotheres nothing better to boom busibile and she was deeply interested la ness. the horn that was used to notify peowhat? Better than ple to clear the way. A little ad. , The Biggest of Tips. I tell you what, grumbled the pessimistic waiter, people aint giving tips like they used to in the old days. Thats right, replied the waiter, facetiously, there was Esau, for instance, who gave his birthright for a mess of pottage. good-nature- d Sure to Be Prejudiced. Papa, Well? Make she said. he returned. it snore some more. Pleasantly ; ; ! Situated. Poor man! said the lady visitor, addressing one of the Inmates of the insane asylum, dont you often feel very sad to be shut up here? Oh, no, the patient answered The lunatics who come to look at us are generally very amusing. Friend Dont look so blue, have a good case. Touching. Jimsoa No use. Ill lose. I know Dont you wish you were Slopay Ill lose. Every man on that jury Midas? either rented or bought a house of me Borroughs Who was he? when I was in the real estate busitouched he Slopay Everything ness. turned to gold. ' 1 A Wise Precaution. Borroughs Huh! touch turns me down. Everybody 1 Insult to Injury, you Perhaps (reproachfully) forget what happened yesterday. I was cut by my dearest acquaintance, the one I love best in all the world; in fact She (coolly) The idea! Do yoq really shave yourself? He There Wasnt He took several good-sizesticks and beat his wife. Green I cannot believe he could be guilty of such cruelty, Redd Cruelty! There wasnt an cruelty about it They were playing . ,, golf together. Redd to-da- vo Loving Wife Darling! Suspicious Husband Well, much? d In 1905 A. D. " Mrs. Uptodate (to maid) Marlc you need not set out the capsules for Mr. Uptodates dinner. I have received a marconigram that he will not be home until 10 oclock, as his has had a breakdown. Judge. U No Wonder. I make it a point never t talk Church What makes your neighmore than ten minutes with any one ? bor so haughty person." Gotham didnt you notice Why, So as not to tell all you know, I he was carrying home bis own beef. suppose. Thoughtful of the Children. I suppose," said Mr. Olds, if I were to start smoking again it would set the children a bad example. It would, indeed, his replied Wife. Its thoughtful and unselfish zl you to consider that Yes, so Ive decided to send the children right off to boarding school, where they wont see me. How to Judge. Finnicus You cant Judge a man by the clothes he wears. Cynnicus But you can by those his wife wears. Not Too Much. A woman likes to have her husband treat her considerately, but not so considerately that people will take her for his second wife. Puck. It Would Cool Them Off. ! Hewitt I tell you, its too hot to go to the theater. ' Jewett Oh, come along; the play, will be a frost, anyway. j Very Easily. Bertha Can she remember whafi happened on her 26th birthday? Bella Yes, she was just 18, |