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Show JOKE ON THE JOKER. Illustration of Henry Ward Beechers Excellence at Repartee. That Henry Ward Beecher was spared much embarrassment by his quickness at repartee is illustrated by the following story: One evening, as he was in the midst of an Impassioned speech, someone attempted to interrupt him by suddenly crowing like a rooster. It was done to perfection: a number of people laughed in spite of themselves, and' the speakers friends felt that in a moment the whole effect of the meeting, and of Mr. Beechers thrilling appeals, might be lost. The orator, however, was equal to the occasion. He stopped, listened till the crowing ceased, and then, with a look of surprise, pulled out his watch. "Morning already!" he said; my watch Is only at ten. But there can be no mistake about It. The instincts of the lower animals are Infallible." There was a roar of laughter. The "lower animal" In the gallery collapsed, and Mr. Beecher was able to resume as If nothing had occurred. Success, Song. I am going to Charleston for a few months and the neighbors might he able to get a great deal of amusement out of the fact that I left home because you refused to marry me." The building of sand was destioyed by one quick stroke of her slipper. "Is It absolutely necessary that I refuse? she leaned forward and looked straight Into his eyes. "Why Julie! he said, and the lawn suddenly seemed a veritable Garden of Eden, Later, when she told him goodcame night, she turned suddenly and baca io him. Pat, I must tell you something." She stood before him In a new and strange shyness. "You had always seemed so humble, I couldnt make you understand. So the hypnotism seemed a fine chance. I I wasnt hypnotized to night I was shamming. You darling!" he exclaimed, seizing her In his arms. Troy Allison In New York Press. high-heele- I TIre are roses for a rose, the fair, Fragrance For tbe soft noontide bosom And thy twilight hair. Let each pleading petal tell All my passion's woe; Ir Crush my crimson couriers To thy heart of snow. Crush them down with thy sweet kisses Down to drowsy death. Make tholr pure souls Immortal With thy holy breath. Robert Loveman, tn The Cates of By Hypnotic Suggestion IS GOLFER d MANS ENEMY? the Question That Won a Cash Prize. Prime Minister Balfour has described the drive at golf and tbe half volley at cricket as giving sensations almost msthetlc In Intensity and quality. Volumes have been written to define every phase of golf and to analyze every stroke, from the practical to the artistic viewpoint, but It remained for to the English periodical, Tit-Bitconunthe propound extraordinary drum. "Is the golfer the enemy of man? The one pound prize has been awarded to the following answer, sent in by V. Sutherland of Pendle road Streatham, London, who deserves tc be famous. Certainly not, says Mr. Sutherland. "Of all games golf Is the ona which, owing to Its supreme difficulty, calls forth the qualities of perseverance and dogged endeavor to the highest pitch. It is also one o! the healthiest of all games, inasmuch as the exercise is not so compressed in point of time as to become too hot and strong.' It is usually played In the healthiest spots where the air is purest and freshest. It is for young and old alike, for sunshine and rain, aye, even for snow; and it can be played by a man alone if he cannot ralRO a partner. Finally, it is essentially a game which demands qualities of head as well as of hand, in fact it is said that it Is because golf is such a worry to play tbat It forms such a fine antidote for the ordinary workaday worries, for one is so wop ried by one's game that one can think of nothing else. An Answer to Six Doctors Failed. South Bend, Ind Oct. 24 (Special) After suffering from Kidney Disease for three years; after taking treatment from six different doctors without getting relief, Mr. J. 0. Laudeman of this place found not only relief but speedy and complete cure In Dodds Kidney Pills. Speaking of his cure Mr. Laudeman says: "Yes, I suffored from Kidney Trouble for three years and tried six doctors to no good. Then I took Just two boxes of Dodds Kidney Pills and they not only cured my kidneys, but gave me better health in general. Of eour.se I recommended Dodds Kidney Pills to others and I know a number now who are using them with good re- sults." Mr. Laudemana case Is not an exception. Thousands give similar experiences. For there never yet was a qase of Kidney Trouble from Backache to Bright's Disease that Dodd's Kidney Pills could not cure. They are the only remedy that ever cured Brights disease. A Celestial Office Seeker. Yea." said the Billvllle citizen, "he was a natral born runner fer office Jest run In his blood, so to speak an1 it's my firm belief tbat when he landed In paradlBe the very fust thing he did wuz to git out & opposition ticket Atlanta to St. Peter for gatekeeper. Constitution. TEA Never tried Schilling's Best, and been buying tea for the past ten years? Youve lost a good deal of what you drink tea for. , VMfgTMwiwunMjMarMnayifyMAa'tlilwIt. A Young Philosopher. Two little maids of four and six years respectively were seated on a tool Presently the elder of the two said reflectively: "Dont you. think that if one of us was to get up there would be more room for me?" TEA Anti-nervo- prostration. A little more tea; take a little more time with your tea. us City Named for Queen Victoria. Queenstown, the famous Irish port, of call for American liners, was originally the Cove of Cork and changed Its came when Queen Victoria landed there on her first visit to Ireland. TEA t It is a companion in pleasure or misery, one or the ohcr; and some of us dont There had been no such excitement In the village since the arrival of the new music teacher, Julie North. To believe that Dickie Armstrong could really hypnotize people seemed a large draft on ones credulity. Dickie had lived In Wakely the twenty-fou- r years of bis existence, had gone through the grammar school, the most mischievous boy In It, had been off to college and come home to practice law, without any one suspecting be possessed mysterious powers. Since the fact had become generally known, the postmaster referred to various letters and pamphlets tbat had been coming for the last three months, and gave It as his opinion tbat Dickie Armstrong bad taken a course In bynotlsm by mall. In the meantime the four months In Wakely had been full of novel pleasure to Julie North. Coming from a busy northern city there seemed something fascinating in tbe lazy, happy lives of these Southerners. Her landlady, one of the before-the-wa- r aristocracy, treated her like a guest Tbe landladys three bachelor brothers seemed to think their mission in life was to see that the new teacher should not have a chance to get lonely. These four, following as near as luxurious possible, the style of the before-the-wa- r planter, had rented their many Inherited acres of cotton and rice lands, and considered they had labored as much as was good for a man when they made tbe rounds every fall to collect the rent. The three brothers were known through the section as Mr. Jack, Mr. Courteney and Mr. Pat, and no one ever took the trouble to add their last name unless It were In conversation witn some one born outside the boundaries of South Carolina. Then tbe Darragh brothers were referred to in the same way one referred to the flora and fauna of the state cs facts generally known. The usual crowd of young people had gathered at the Darragh place one night soon after tbe discovery of Dickie Armstrongs hypnotic powers. "Dickie, do give us an exhibition, now do," pleaded pretty little Susan Manning from the corner of the davenport where she was lounging in oriental ease. Julie North looked her skepticism, but seconded the request Dickie trumped up as many excuses as a pianist who has been Invited to play. "Really, I have never tried It or any one except the little negro hoys I tolod into my ofllce. I dont know, even, whether it would take tLe same effect upon you palefaces," he begged as a reserve card. "I have always heard that blond made the best subjects," replied Julie, "tra the only blonde In the room, and I offer myself a willing subject to the cause of science. Dickie started the performance with a quaking heart. The bk td hair seemed to cling to his Angers caressingly when be pressed them on her temples, according to the rules and regulations prescribed by mall, and know one from the other. Sailors' Baggy Trousers. trousers custom's take. They are "built" le so tbat Jack ran turn them up ve the knees when necessity Pallors do not wear baggy de-nd- which Is often. TEA Moncyback buys your con fidencc ; you cant help it. You cant help it. Yaw Tm twuam yaw .any if ya, SW Klx bw. a Hair Is Mean, Too. take some credit for having acquired wisdom with years, because we no longer drop a caterpillar dowa a girls back Just to hear her scream. Atchison Globe. Pulling tVe TEA Good dealing goes with good tea; good tea with good dealii g. And bad with bad. Yaw pair taunt yaw SoiuUna't lua. my U yai Sot'l n, Fortified Monasteries. Russia bus a number of monasteries In Palestine. A recent traveler wa surprised to find trvm strongly fortl fled, end built:': It niMtJ-fguca. wr f Ars you engaged to be married he found It harder to concentrate his thoughts tb a when he had tried the subjects at his ofllce. Susie Manning giggled, and Dickie gavo her a reproachful glance. "The charm positively refuses to work when there is any giggling going on, he growled. Mr. Pat loaned forward and offered her a caramel from the box on the table. That will keep tm rirruti'el until the seance Is over, li wM"'ered. t Dickie grew red with mortification when he had tried all the prescribed rules In vain. Mr. Jack and Mr. Courteney were chuckling a badgery, and Mr. Pat was unable to feed Susie Mannlrg caramels fast enough to check her giggles. Suddenly Dickie stood erect and beaming. Hus sh! Be quiet! Shes all right he whispered, and they saw now, Julies eyes were fixed and vacant. She responded readily when he suggested she should sing a song. She good-nature- d 01 (if - &$ Leaned forward and looked straight Into hla eyes. went through the whole course of Examples for Suggestion that lingered In Dicks memory. The docility of his subject fired him with a desire to try new and original fields. Are you engaged to be married r he demanded, fixing a stern eye upon her. . No." came the prompt answer. "Is there any man you really care for, he continued, never taking his eyes from hen. Y yes, she said hesitatingly. "Whats his name? demanded the merciless Dickie. Susie Manning cried out lu protest. Oh, dont ah, Dickie, dont! Thats not playing fair, Dickie; thats not honorable. She would be so mortified If she knew, and the black eyes filled with sudden, sympathetic tears. But tbe harm was done. Before Dickie could repent or recall the suggestion the answer came with startling distinctness. "Pat Darragh, she said distinctly. When they looked around they found Mr. Pat bad slipped from the room. After tbe crowd had left, Mr. Pat tapped softly on the shuttered door that opened from Julies room to tbe veranda. "Please come out a few minutes," ho beggod. "Its not late, and the moon Is absolutely great. She rnme out, her white dress trailing softly. He led the way to a rustic seat nearby on the lawn. I have been much worried lately, Miss Julio the Southern mannerism of address sounded like a caress In his Southern voice. "For the first time In my life I've made a rial and complete fool of m.iself about a woman. It hits hard when a man is thirty-eigh- t I reallo so fully that I am not In It when compared with the young set. but I couldnt help loving you I dont sco how anybody could," he added In self justification. 'Some few have been able to resist." she was helping the white sand in piles with the toe of her slipper. He leaned forward, his elbows on his knees and his hand supporting a melancholy face. "I know I'm too old to attract a girl of twenty like Dickie Armstrong would, for instance," "Suslo Manning could probably give you some Information as to Mr. Armshe strongs powers of attraction, rounded tbe henps of sand with the elr of an experienced tnoand builder. She told me tonight that she had Just promised to tnarry him." I thought it was you!" Ills tone showed relief that Dickie could be labeled "harmless, and surprise that an Intelligent human being could be aware of the existence of the moon when the sun was In plain view. He turned to her earnestly, 1 didnt Intend to tell you I h tl ought It W'liM jy worry you I l.ul u.tle a fool of !o know-th- at Cheer Up, Cheer Up! ue of making trouble whea It's with you every day IV hat's the Use? What lltu ut,e of doing things la the most Inconvenient way What's the use? Whats the use of hunting worry? M hat's the use to fiet and stew. When there's not a ghost of reason To believe It eases you? Whai's the use? Whats the use of lamentation when a good thing passes by What's the use? What's the use. when you may laugh anti shout, to tuin It to a cry What's the use? What's the use of breeding freniy And Indulging In a howl When the world Is not disposed to Listen to your pievlHh growl? What's ths use? What's the use of blaming others for the tault that is vour own W hat s the use? What'i the use of shifting burdens you should carry all atune What's the use? Will It make your burden lighter If the v.-lrefuses to Whats the a ho Wep Thut e the troubles made their home with you? Whut a the use Denver Time homo-mad- ra.e Note The following article has been widely published and Is one of levelers" are la the busher.? 1 the most remarkable Illustrations of pathway of every and woman, and they bag . 1 I the value of careful marshalling subaJontI now and then a Only In of facts presenting analysis out against these leveled- 8ti ject to the public. his fortune, fame and LEVELER3. I So the Creator has us The Mission of Whisky, Tobacco and Tobacco and Coffee to level Coffee. 5 successful ones and those The Creator made all things, we be- signs of being successful .s them back in the race som lieve. If so, He must have made these. great "field (the masses) I a.y ao We know what He made food and left too far behind. And yet we must admit water for, and air and sunshine, but e Creator has placed if to why Whisky, Tobacco and Coffee? and sure are enough here of man to ? power They each performing its work. or j There must be some great plan be- mind, and say unto himself, seeks man to exchange my birthright tor hind It all; the thoughtful a an to understand something of that plan of pottage. articles these to and thereby Judge I will not deaden my senses for their true worth. en my grip on affairs and keen or bad not us good Let say self cheap, common and behind in I without taking testimony. tune and fame by drugging with There are times and conditions ky, tobacco or coffee. Life h when It certainly seems to the casual short. It is hard to win I observer that these stimulant narcot- good things withoutenough sort of ha any ics are real blessings. cap, so a man is certainly a fool 4 Right there Is the ambush that con- er when he trades strength, heaS ceals a "killing enemy. money and the good things that cm of either habit Into can One the slip with power for the coa whisky, tobacco or coffee easy enough, tlon of the drugger, with the certd fearful a Is often to but "untangle ty of sickness and disease ahead"! struggle. It Is a matter each Individual It seems plain that there are cir- decide for himself. He can be a li cumstances when the narcotic effect er and semi-goif he will, or he of these poisons Is for the moment go along through life a drugged clot beneficial, but the fearful argument a cheap hewer of wood or carrier against them Is tbat seldom ever does water. one find a steady user of either whisCertain it is that while the Gr ky, coffee or tobacco free from disease Father of us all does not seeml of some kind. "mind if some of his children J ilei Certainly powerful elements in their foolish and stupid, he seems to sell effect on the human race. others (perhaps those he intends I It Is a matter of dally history, testi- some special work) and allows ttl Li fied to by literally millions of people, to be threshed and castigated bi that Whisky, Tobacco and Coffee are fearfully by these levelers. 1 If a man tries flirting with these smiling, promising, begulllng friends on the start, but always false as hell elers a while, and gets a few slaps Itself in the end. Once they get linn a hint, he had better take the hint, bold enough to show their strength, a good solid blow will follow. if! When a man tries to live uprlg they Insist upon governing and drive the victim steadily towards 111 health clean, thrifty, sober and undrugge 1 In some form; If permitted to continue manifesting as near as he knows vM fccr to rule, they will not let up until phys- the Creator Intends he should, hap Ly ical and mental ruin sets In. ness, health and peace seem to cci it A man under tbat spell (and under to him. Does It pay? the spell is correct) of any one of This article was written to set p am these drugs frequently assures himself pie thinking, td rouse the God i he. and his friends, Why, I can leave off In, for every d ml any time I want to. I did quit for a and wdman has times when they !i A y. week Just to show I could." It Is a a something calling from within Th sure mark of the slave when one gets them to press to tbe front and to that stage. He wiggled through a about the Fathers business. Dc Vth week, fighting every day to break tbe mistake It; the spark of the Ini: ipi spell, was finally whipped, and began is there and It pays In every wa; Tl I his slavery all over again. health, happiness, peace and t :uti The slave (Coffee slave as well as worldly prosperity to break oil t Tobacco and Whisky) dally reviews his habits and strip clean for the wv condition, sees perfectly plain the cut out for us. It has been the business of t steady encroachments of disease, how the nerves get weaker day by day and writer to provide a practical and n f. demand the drug that seems to smile way for people to break away fr and offer relief for a few minutes and the coffee habit and be assured o! then leave the diseased condition return to health and all of the p plainer to view than ever and grow- things that brings, provided the ab. ing worse. Many times the Coffee slave has not gone too far, and even tl realizes that he is between two fires. the cases where the body has been He feels bad if he leaves off and a built on a basis of strength snd tea little worse If be drinks and allows run into the thousands. the effect to wear off. It Is an easy and comfortable i So It goes on from day to day. to stop coffee Instantly by having w Every night the struggling victim made Postum Food Coffee iemd tv promises himself that he will break and hot with good cream, for the col the habit and next day when be feels and flavor is there, but none of tl el a little bad (as be Is quite sure to), caffeine or other menta of coffee. not restbe but own bis breaks, ordinary habit, On the contrary, the most power: olution. It Is nearly always a tough fight, with disaster ahead sure If the rebuilding elements furnished by Nj ture are In Postum and they quick: habit wins. There have been hundreds of thou set about repairing the damage. 8 sands of people driven to their graves dora Is It more than two days s change is made before the olt through disease brought on by coffee stomach or bowel troubles or col drinking alone, and It Is quite certain that more human misery is caused by plaints of kidneys, heart, bead rf coffee and tobacco than by whisky, for nerves show unmistakable evident the two first are more widely used, of getting better, and ten days' tlml and more bidden and Insidious tn the changes things wonderfully. : effect on nerves, heart and other vital Literally millions of use Postum, bail organs, and are thus unsuspected un Americans tit much of the dangerous work Is found the value and common sense done. the change. C. W. POST. Now. Reader, what is your opinion m to tho real use the Creator has for these things? Take a look at the Generous Deed of Elk. Through the generosity of tb question from this point of view. There is a law of Nuture and of Bridgeport lodge of Elks, Peter W Natures God that things slowly evolve koon of Wallingford, Conn., will pr; from lower planes to higher, a sturdy, by the unfortunate accident which t Et-- j steady and dignified advance toward met with while witnessing the (I more pi rfert things In both tbe Physi- banner raising. A runaway horse colb cal and Spiritual world. Tho ponderhim down and dislocated his ous tread of evolutionary development bone. Is fixed by the Infinite and will not be The bone was not fractured as quickened out of natural law by any first reported. Markoon was hr1, i! of man's methods. looking for work, and when the Then fore we see many Illustrations honrd that he had a wife and fa-- 'f showing how nature checks too rapid dependent upon him for support thr. advance. Illinois raises phenomenal sent a committee out to Invostlgata crop of corn for two or throe years. Markoon, as a result, was sent hMj If she continued to do so after the BrUT, every year to Wallingford her furmers would advance In wealth port lodge of Elks bad paid hlsmedlcij far beyond those of other aectlons or expenses, secured hi ticket, give act countries. So Nature Interposes a bar money for Incidental expense. t every three or four years and brings told him to calculate upon $S per wea on a bad year. for tho next four weeks. Here we sco the leveling Influence Tho Elks went further. They at work. fled the Wallingford lodge to tak A man Is properoua In bla buslnesa of Markoon and help him to Sot for a number of yenra and grow rich. mem ploymont. Markoon Is not a Then Nature sets the "leveling Influ- of the order, never wa. and tb & ence' at work on him. Some of his were not in any way liable for th Investment lose, he becomes luxurieldeut. Boston Globe. ous and luzy. Perhaps It Is whisky, tobacco, coffee, women, gambling or Th Eternal Femlnln. some other form. The Intent and purHe Will you O, will you b pose Is to level him keep him from forever? .j evolving too far ahead f tho masset. She Mercy, no! I Just acc! A nation becomes prosperous and last night. great like ancient Rome. If no level- Cliolly Saphedd He What 1 Has all yof ing Influence act In she would domiagement to me meant nothin! nate the world perhaps for all time. feet Ion? M3t But linme Nature seta her of She Oh, 1 assure you It M levflers at work luxury, army overeat- a good deal. In fact. I TOt ing and drinking, licentiousness, wsste how Id have managed wlhouli and extravagance. Indulgences of all You ace, until you came ',nrv.!w kinds- - then comes tho wreck. Sure ' began to be so nice to you. cure, Hure, didn't aeem to have any lcli The law f the unit la the law i tcntlons at u.n mn, Mtut goo through the same Weakness (In childhood), sraduai growth of strength, energy, hr ft. probity, proepnrity, wealth, com-- , f Indulgence relaxation. " bUetie, waste, debauchery successSI all-wis- .C i'S iS Ji half-aslee- J d highly-organize- nerve-destroyin- g brain-work!- Rabbi. Rabbi J. lifonurd Levy of tbe Congregation Rudolph Shalom, Pittsburg has been reengaged for a period o! five years at an annual salary of ;12,-00His present contract has eight-teemonths yet to run before the engagement is begun. The salary Is tho largest ever paid a Hebrew rabbi on a limited contract h the history of tho world. Rabbi Ivy went to Pittsburg three years ago from Philadelphia at a salary of $;,. 000. A year later this was Increased to 18.000, and last year to $10,000. He le prominent In eharltuble and reform work of all kinds. Highest-Salarie- flvo-yea- r Carried Bullet Forty-onYear. George E. Holt, a veteran soldier and retired farmer of Vineland, N. J., has carried a bullet In his head forty-onHis regiment was disyears. banded In Imurenee. Kan., its arms being taken for uso elsewhere. Just then QuantroU'a guerillas raided tho town and shot down ISO uen. Holt wne shot below the right eye and left for dead, but recovered and soon afterward went east He la now 75 years old. e e Woman Would Not Be Beaten. carrier on the rural mall route between Elmer and Woodatown, N. J. Several bridges on the mad were wished away by a storm, making the route Impa-ablby wagon. Mr. IJnch Is a woman of do or die disposition, so she slung tho mall hag over her shoulder and made the trip by bicycle, and thus will continue her dally trips until the bridges have been repaired. Mra. II. II. LInch Is e Working for Light in Africa. ! iv. J. C. llarUell, bishop 0j the Me.hodlst Episcopal church o! Africa, Is making a tour of tho world . ' with the view of amusing religious work In the dark continent He Is now In the smith. Elgft ego he was itecied bishop ,,f xfru-and In that tln-- he has traveled r.ii! ' Rt. fiOO lies mlle.i la c " if to-da- y to-da- ' all.-Daltl- more A' |