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Show (r aas Domestic Blunders of Women By A MERE MAM WOMENS IGNORANCE OF THE VALUE OF MONEY. N THE last chapter I spoke of the absolute Incapacity of women to do their marketing on anything commercial like and economical lines. 1 think I proved conclusively, to the minds of all men at least, that any business run on the same lines as a home Is conducted, would result not only In bankruptcy, but In the manager belrg censured by the courts for hazardous speculation and reckless ex- travagance. I Intend now to review the financial capabilities of the feminine gender. 1 have shown that women have no Idea how to spend money. I shall now show they have no capabilities for savlrg money. This Is the root of the wholo evil, but It has many developments, as 1 shall show. The woman who asks her huBband for house-keepinmoney" simply obtains money under false pretenses, for there Is such a thing as criminal negligence. Is It in the experience of any man that, bavlrg given five dollars to his wife, he has ever seen an equivalent value for It? In the first place, Is It ever possible to get a proper estimate for the things which are to be bought? A woman says she wants some money. You ask her, how much? She says, she cant tell actly. Supposing you ask her to make out list, and supposing you get it. Ask her how much it will all cost. She has not the least Idea. Ask her bow much each Item costs. She cannot tell you. Anxious to get to your business, you say, "How much about will they be? She says, about $8.75" and ndds, It may be a little under, and It may be a little wover." In despair, you give her ten dollarB. Intent on gcttlrg her into business habits, when you return, you ask her for the change, or perhaps you wait till she wants some more money. In the first Instance, she says she remembered when she was out that she owed a little bill, and thought she had better pay It, or that the saucepans wanted renewing oh, those or she saw some very saucepans! muslin, or stockcheap window-blinchildren oh, those chilings for-th- erly, and that, therefore, they should not be entrusted with either its saving or Its spending. The real fact Is, girls are not brought np either to have or to do without money. They cannot estimate the value of anything not even their own clothes. They cannot keep accounts of money, and are really as much afraid of It as they are of a loaded pistol. It seems like a mere paradox to say women are afraid of money, but their acts suggest this, for their natural inclination seems to be to empty helr purses, and a woman Is never so happy as when she Is spending money, not neeossarlly on ari'c'es she wants, or even on herself. She will buy arythlng, lend or give away any sum, as long as she can get rid of money. There are women who would not run into debt for worlds, who would not part with any of their possessions, but who will get anything for themselves, or give anything away to their acquaintances, sc long as they can get rid of actua. money which they have in their pockets; and nothirgfls so common as tc hear a woman say: "I thought I might as I had the as well buy money In my pocket. Women are divided Into two classes - the woman who never pays for necessaries, and the woman who never buys anything unless she can pay cash. From the financiers point of view, one system Is as bad as the other. Women not only dissipate mens money, but they destroy their credit I am talking, of course, of dren! But did you ever see those saucepans, or those stockings? I never did. In the second Instance, she says, the things came to a little more than she anticipated. If you have kept, or can recall, the list, and try to get the price of each article out of her, she will get as far as accounting for $3.25 or $3.75, but farther than that she cannot remember. If you really want to get to the bottom of the wholo business, you should say, "You must have lost the change." An accusation of losing money a woman always resents, with "The Idea of such a thing!" She next recollects that she bought herself a pair of gloves. If you suggest she bought gloves a week ago, or that she has her dress allowance, she says. "Of course. If you war t me to walk about without gloves, you should say so." As your "saying so" would mean a row, you suggest that one dollar could not he better spent than on gloves, and you mark off your dollar like the Iron cabin In the English Admiralty report, "Enton by rats, But supposing your wife asks for five dollars, and, It not bolt g convenient to give her more than $2 T.n, you again ak her for a list of the "tilings which are required for the house." If you got It, you will find that more than half the Items are not pressing, and so you give her $2 f.O, and tell her she must make It go ns far ns she can. The next day she asks you for the other $2 50. To moke a long story short, you will find that she has bought all the "things which wero not pressing, and that she has left nnpurchased all the thlrgs that were. Among the former are half a dozen boxes of 8 soap, and when you emphasize half a dozen, she says, "We canrot have the house without a bit of soap." Oh! that 8 soap! Tbey give a coupon with each box, and for so many coupons they give the children a set of brown-pape- r toys. I live In a $400 a year bouse, and I have bought enough saucepans what Is the attraction about sauce- soap to stock the pans? an J S White House. It might bo going a little too far to say women are absolutely dishonest about money; but It la not going a bit too fur to say that they have no Idea bow hard it is to earn, that they have no Idea of Its value, that they rannot save It, that they have not the remotest notion how to spend it prop the and keep week-da- Verily, in the midst of life we are debt In When a boy looks saintly send for a doctor. The financier is the fellow who wants to gather in all the finance here. Think twice before then talk to yourself. He who cannot bear humility cannot wear honor. by them. and you speak To be famous is to bo slandered people who do not know you. by The man who tells you of all bis troubles becomes one of yoius. Men who pride themselves culture haven't any to speak on their of. As a man grows in experience his theories of conduct become tower. The beat kind of hope is that which lends a hand. An empty dignity a hollow dollar. Is as valuable as the The work of this life writes lna-- e of the next. Hitch your wacon to a star, but dont sell your mule. Fashionable society Is usually nothing but cuuned life. Look out fur ex- It is no use praying against sin while you aro sinning against prayer. There are no curative properties In the religion that is taken as a dose. You cannot move mountains of sin when standing on tho molehill of conceit. No man has a narrower outlook than he who is on the lookout for himself alone. . Some people are so anxious to take all they can get that they even, get religion. pen. Peoplo who are always condemning modern lassitude feel like killing the fellow who tells them that "the elevator aint running." thinks any girl good enough for her son and will not leave a girl a shred of reputation who makes eyes at mammas dar A woman never goo-go- o People who are always lamenting the passage of the "good. old times would use some very bad language if they still had to lumber along In an old stage coach. Kate Tbyson Marr. A fool und society vas nefer parted. A vise man can somedimes be a fool und ged avay mit id. 1 t, Most of the really great men In America have warmed their bare feet frosty mornings on the spot where the cows have lain down. Life consists of moulting our illusions. We form creeds only to throw them away The eagle moults a feather because he is growing a belter one. to- day's blessing. a qvlck chumper ad mlces und conclusionments. No one praises a had man ever for his good workB. a saloon on credit. buJ it takes cash to start a church. sot the Some mens haf to part delr hair In der middle to keep a head. prevent The calm of complaisance la peace of pardon. to-da- y Better be handicapped by paced by the devil. God A voman 13 A man can oben than They who obey God blindly often see him most clearly. Common sense is the ability to detect values to know a big thin from a little one. Id rather possess comObscurity Is to be preferred to Immon sense than to have six degrees mortality through immorality. from Trinity College, Oxford. Elbert Hubbard in the Brown Book. You cannot lay up treasure In heaven by leaving out charity on earth. CH1NFAYNE. Der besd choke I ever heard sounded terrible foolish undil I saw der point. Opportunity rings der door bell und runs avay uf ve vas nod right dare to grab id. Somedimes a bad actor is egged on py ambition und egged off py der audl ence, yet. The cynic finds the world empty beYen a man Bids arount valtlng for There are lots of people who are cause he is too little to look into IL really proud of their weaknesses. somedlng to turn ub Fortune alvays Tolerating the debauchers of our turns him down. Doing good by example is a very men is but training the devil for our slow way of Instituting reforms. i vlsh I hat all der money dot is boys. spent py der men dot try to get aome-dinGood natured women and cranky The materladst fills his eyes with for nuddings. men are the ones who succeed in life. mud and then says that there is nothSoopnoodle vent abroad for aefen ing else. Raras Horn. A man has to be somebody before veeks and learned enough to make me he can secure an appropriate nickNOTES FROM MANYWHERE. sick mit listening for sefen years. g name. When once a person acquires a habit of frugality It is as easy as it is to waste. One of bo said tffiri Bum klda has another name "II we c n Holly-busti- Right out plain! Tain t no matter what th s pood for rustin Of th brain! and term- At bant "I gent Bay! us kids we slide down hill Jost Up th snow! Holler like Comanche bucks, Jost her awa As we go! eyes It a "I Had a coaster thet could fly, er Belly-bu&t- Down th track! Past th fastest sleds They could muster In a pack. den, In town 1 pitcher on com LJ eboi Is th fun When ye alius take th lead. Never stoppin ontc Had a race-hors- e 1 Till yeve mot won! the Onct I ast my pa to go gari folk bed n Belly-packi- On my sleigh. Pa be lnffed an said, Kind a backin Like away. Take yer Belly-buster- ma. "Uh-uh- ! she tall my pa sex be, Join !" of i and you rlgl An ho smiled! Ma she up and chased my pa With her duster, Half a mll'd! I don't keer If pa er ma Dont don slidln Down the bill. like They aint nothin' suits me This sled Tidin Be they. Bill? girl ed like u; vroi Antony and Cleopatra. Having triumphed over Julius Cae sar, Cleopatra was entertainingly en gaged in making Antonys lawful wif play second fiddle In the orchestra o his love. The silken breeching was already In place, and the bridle read.' for the great general, when Anton) called one evening, by appointment, a pink tea with her. The boudoir was resplendent for tho occasion. Beautiful flowers breathe their amorous odor3. while redolent perfumes, heavy with brain hashish hovered over the scene of conquest. Antony was a matrimonial ship wreck when he arrived and took In the voluptuous settings of this fascln ating feminine gem: Th( . . . "To bis eye There was but one beloved fees on earth And that was shining oo him! In his heart therq burned, oblivion to honor, allegiance and sacred vows only the mad passion to possess her did her best' And Cleo, the cut-up- , The pink tea was but half over wher Antony, bewildered and ill at ease drop because of lacking ped his napkin. It took a header sai rolled half way under the table. to to eu ear Hu ant 'en a s lea hoi Yo OJ! w die tal th( Cleopatra'-prospectiv- foi gi kii mi on 1 rtn ns he ca an self-contro- Just the greatest loads that can put on a young man Is a small in- heritance. 100 years were occupied in low- ering tho mile trotting record from three to two minutes. But two nations, the Japanese and the South Sea Islanders do not use tho kiss as a form of expression. Rural free delivery has advanced The most severo critic Is the person with marvelous rapidity from a serwho does tho least toward $20,000 a year at Its Inboosting vice costing1S91 to one that will cost the business. ception in this fiscal year nearly $7,000,000. It Is possible to get used to a bad The front end of the car was found looking face, but an unpleasant voice to be covered with files, bees and Is au everlasting nuisance. small Insects, crushed as If by a thumb A small amount of igainst the Iron and glass when the an and ability Inordinate ambition will do more to run at the rate of 130 miles an hour luln a mnn ttmu any other one thing, was finished at Zosspn. except laziness. REFLECTIONS OF A BACHELOR. The fact that you can get two Men with brains make big money sohnltts for a nU hoi is not proof that a bunch (f aldermen can bo purchased liy marrying It. for a dollar. "Uncle Dhk in MilwauThere's many a slip twixt the vote kee Sentinel, and the ballot box. BRIEF TRAILERS. A woman cant help feeling proud . Forue men would be witty If they of a husband who gets lots of knew how to bo brief. Chenerally sbcaklng efery man has bud two ambitions. Vun is to ged a fortune, der udder is to ged two for tunes. go wi Running about the room was white rat, a prized pet of the fam f ha . As Antony stooped for ous his napkin, tho rat chanced to slip lln quietly underneath the luxurious alp skirts, gerie of Cleopatras dainty ping her gently on the ankle. As Antony's head emerged from under the table, his face florid with man-killer- Some mens vas like a phonograph. Dey talk ven you start dem, bud dere vas no orlchlnalltics abouid dem. Now York American. BULLETIN BUBBLES. A doctors prescription Is all right within the prescribed limits. What is the largest head covering you ever saw! Why, the mantle of night. Tho brewer is not the only man who goes home late and finds trouble brewing. til aii er as sf th at at fa h fc fr P di c g (c Why are some old soldiers like the seeds In an apple? They belong to the same corps. w al A C The religious editor of a newspaper not tho only one who attends Is his duties religiously. Philadelphia Bulletin. l! Is P w tele--rains- A Eolfi ih man has an idea every other man is wedded to his own opin- It mighty hard for a woman t keep from cheering the winning Bide ro matter whose It Is. CHURCH AND CLERGY. 1 Bishop McCabe, who has had in a year sixty Imitations to dedicate churches, says that tho Methodists are building more and better churches than ever before. Tho man who likes club life never regards himself as tho least bit selfish. It does seem as If the shorter a girl's legs are the longer the stockings she Insists on wearing. A bent pin Is the easiest thing Imaginable to find when you aro not looking that no general ever thought of terrifying the enemy by making it face the cook. The children of the late J. M. have presented to the Church of the Incarnation, of New York, one of the costliest and most beautiful memorial chapels in that city. Many a great man has found difficulty in finding real friendship. The woman who brags to others about her husband doesnt do it to convince them, but herself. The General Theological has entered into an for (Copyright by Funk ft Wagnalla Co.) A hard vorker vill nefer be arrested because he killed time. burden ion. very milk that goes Into their nurseries. If they only looked at their dressmaker bills, they would sea "A discount of 5 per cent allowed for cash," stated In red letters. Yet it Is to people who cannot put two and two together, who cannot keep money, who keep no record of what they receive. and have no knowledge of what anything should, or has, cost, to whom we entrust tho flnanros of our homes. Are we not bigger fools, and more to blame, than they are? Sinners blame the law for the fruits of their lusts. tank. look! Uelly-whopp- ling. -class A lie travels by the Marconi route, while truth goes by slow freight, and is often ditched at the first water Quadruped? Hete puny they T Never tell a woman that you like to hear her talk unless your life is heavily injured. Accidents will hap- well FIGS AND THISTLES. them table its s' the port) peal DINKELSPIELERS. hay. ihouf KCUl People who are always lauding th telegood old times swear if the phone wont work. til the time you would never make women, who marry middlemen, who earn their living from week to week,' month to month, or "year to year. Every man of business is a man of credit. Tho, perhaps, only having $500 In his bank, his bills for $3,000 running over three, six, nine, and twelve months, are readily accepted and handed on as cash. In France, this system prevails 'even In the home. Owing to the fantastic finance of women, no such thing exists here, and the result is, a man has to keep money for "weekly books," which would be much better employed In his business. The result Is long credit and ruinous prices with shopkeepers, or a constant drain of ready money to the detriment of credit. Women will not understand this. I will explain. When I was a bachelor, I seldom or never paid cash. If I wanted clothes, or even wine or cigars. I sent out and ordered them. When the bill came In, I always paid "on acsomething count." The result was, my credit was excellent; that Is to say, my tradesmen always trusted me, and said of me, "He always pays"; and, besides this, I was never without money In my pocket, and If I were a bit short, nobody was frightened. Since then I have married. My wife has always Insisted on paying her weekly bills regularly on Saturday. She said it was her way." She eonsldered It disreputable to run bills, and said that If she sent a check on account, peoplo would think we could not pay, and would cot trust us, and, worse than all, "would talk. So far, It has not mattered. But, supposing I suddenly wanted all the money I could lay hands on for a business speculation. Do you suppose for one moment that my wifes twenty years of paying the bills weekly would give us a fortnight's credit for a box of matches, or that our tradesmen would accept such a new departure as a small check on account? I say emphatically, "No." Having been paid weekly, they would Immediately suspect that I was "broke," and, as sure as my name is whnt It Is, I should rerelvo a dozen or so District Court summonses. be clear, therefore, that, It mu-since this absurd system of paying "ready money, and getting no pervades tho entire ranks of the middle class, women aro rot only connlvlrg at the robbery of their husbands, but are rutn'ng their ered't. 1 lave already shown, that no woman ever gets a discount for ready money. It may be said that they do not know that they could. It would require for them to very little common sen-'fird It out. T! ry mut know they do know! that their cooks got it on cveryth'rg tl at goes Into the kitchen, and that their nurses tot It for th jelve All stretched out upon the top, TJke a tloppln broke-r- . down. by tew On a sled? Tho only effective prison bars are those we forge with our habits. cannot sanctify your sins calling the.r coLsequenzos crosses. New..,., r. Bolly-whopp- Peoplo who are always regretting the good old times are thrown into a panic if the telegraph wires are You IiaugP Did ye ever ride down hill, Tho broker is the fellow who takes fellow is good care that the other If you Intend to praise God for eterto make hay while the sun nity you had better practice on your shines, but if the sun should shine neighbor in time. Chicago Tribune. s Belly-Buste- Tho toul with wings does not worry as to the stability of tills world. parents. bv Western Union. 1303. Copyright, People who make it a lusluess to kill time are allowing t.me to kill them. The kindergarten is t! o greatest scheme ever devised for educating Th came The man with a face that would sour milk will not save men. It is to itoth tkt WkUtUnm, BY Gentleness and good cheer these corns before all questions of moists. There are many deeply religious people outside of the church, but those inside usually call them infidels. middle-clas- a cure. Some people pray; others there be who repeat prayers. but Cbp-oi- a until they are People seldom reform do anything else. too poor to The real estate man makes sure that be acquires the real estate. Be pleasant until 10 o'clock In tho morning, and the rest of the day will take care of Itself. notk Duty Is always divine. The time to boast Is when you don't need to. We are not punished for our sins, I believe more In the goodness of bad peoplo than I do In the badness of good people. Sm knrU alwaya A man with no conscience finds it dead ea3y. Faith defies fate. A muzzle Is not plosions. g d Remember it holy. WIT AND WISDOM. SENTENCE SERMONS. CLEVER1SM3. it Many men stick to a good thing with so much tenacity that it falls to pieces. When a woman reads a novel she cant help dropping a tear ovtr the persecuted hero. The woman who regards money as the aim of life wonders why it cant bring contentment Con-stahl- It's curious When a men meets a woman ter uars after she refused to marrv him he feels like going out and buying 'h.ampnguu for the town. g!l Isnt half as afraid to be alone with a man In the dark ns she Is that somebody might turn the light or from tho ouls'do with one of thone modern Improvements A 'w-fingle- o Seminary agreement with whf'rpby tho Rev. Ilford a.Uveri,ltjr Robbins, the dpn of th seminary, lakes a seat in the uulver slty council. The Rev. Dr. William Ashmore, who has been connected with th napf,st Work ,n t'hlna more ':UZy "n!,in years, was one of the Interdenominational evangelistic meetings n Boston. TIIF. LATRST AUTHORIZED OF GF..NLUAL A.VlOMexertion, Cleopatra arose majesties!.? and gasped "Sir! wo Antony, much chagrined, and b stammer derlng, could merely , apology. new When the scandal got into th way papers, he decided the best it was to marry the girl. Owingco having a wlfo of his own, this w not be, and he did the next thing. Rut. anyhow, this is a true and hrr . fofore imprinted story of bo patra coerced Antony. On f,n always rely on history keepln record straight. '1 BA IT Infatuation Is liking her store clothes and blush roses on. In Is liking her with her hair dlftgno to trouble No papers. two affections after having cun j will" and abo has wlltod. A |