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Show 8 February 4, 1 999 Reviving romance subject for lunch discussion Sunday seminar considers d anger signals Senior Protestant Chaplain s. LOVE to. The cause may be obvi- ofyour may be invis- ible. Seen or unseen, they , marital success or , .. ,.v..:: ure can be accurately predicted based on these factors. From this research and my own 25 years of counseling, I agree that these factors can spell great joy or deep pain in a relationship, depending on how they are considered. I find there are two reasons why marriages fall apart. Often, the decision to get married too quickly is made without taking time to get to know each other well. In most cases, ittakes atleastayear for most of us to know someone fairly well. A second cause often centers on the decision to marry at too young an age. In most cases, individuals haven't Ogden Ogden 4 105 fVverdalc Rd Next to R.CW4y 1485 Harrison Blvd '., 23S3 N.Main lntkte &nid 479-018- 776-201- 1 Laton 444-194- x., nd ReviveRomance-willbeheldTuesdaya; Feb they'd played the field more? Sometimes the couple has unrealistic expectations of marriage. Sure, marriage is fail at choosing a mate is extremely per- sonal. One or both individuals may have . unaddressed personality or behavior problems. Behaviors like jealousy, temper or stubbornness, among others, can wreck a home. These are justafew of the deadly causes of poor mate selection. Each and every one is significant in and of itself. All it takes is one and you're in trouble. It's a clear exception to the rule when a marriage happily survives with one of the causes present If you can eliminate these in your relationship, you are well on your way to a happier home and a happier future. , anusmu. llfromnoon-lp.m.intnefamiiyou-p- A Free 5 v.ooauu -- With such a person in mind, nort Center Bldg 308N. Marriage and idiosyncrasies. ffs easier to fantasize the unfettered romance, family counselors will share their views unconditional acceptance, fun and appre- but audience input will be sought as well, e desn-we all To reserve a seat for either day or obtain ciation v Butfantasy isn t reality. Most of us over a copy of the results, call Ext. Whvwoulditbehardertorevivearomance 201mowthingsarenotalwaysastheyseem) and there is more we could do to fulfill our with someone y ou five with and are com- : to honor and cherish, mitted to than with someone you don't commitment love, we suspect it may be wiser, if know so well? Historically speaking, while , Moreover, to V mot old easier, revive the romance m a rela-you may have had a falling out with an or what uonship we are familiar with, than to sever flame your history together have beenfun, excit-- trusted ties and start all over in a rela- yourecall of it-- may tonship full of uncertainties and possibly ing and more positive than negative. disaster. The question is how However once couples have lived together unforseeable bad that can history and negative expec- for a few years, while they still may have tations be overcome? It's important to keep m mmd that our dominantfocus determines our dominant feeHngs,andourimagmationcanbevery powerful. It seems important to shift our focus from pasthurts or perceived offenses to a reflection on the good times and pos- itive feelings of the past, as well as letting our imagination soarto creatively consider fun activities for the future. morepositivesthannegativesintheirhis- tories they likely will have accumulated a lot more memories that were less than thrilling and many that were downright distasteful. Maybe there were a few arguments which they lost, words said which stung or left a scar. All ofthis is almost inevitable in a marriage where each is can- did enough to share their feelings and assert their views. Yet such experiences 3 i GENTLE, PROFESSIONAL FAMILY CARE' NEW PATIENTS AND CHILDREN WELCOME Call For . MILITARY Rate ; DEPENDENTS WELCOME . j USING THE LATEST DENTAL TECHNOLOGY Analysis ; Ask Us AboutThe New "Personal Network 44 South Maun Acto fem Sws Bank 774-99-32 jm. and more ing bad habits, after three kids than a few arguments, can be a challenge. Luncnoc Learn uiuaoiwiAo or second person they ever Kaysville .. 868 N. HiMelel R4 106 MtKhoS Pte n 500 Peak, 1000 Evening and Weekend Minutes for $49.99 a Month! 725100 Such memories, negative expectations and resentments make it hard lor romanc- eborn of fantasy and fun to flourish. It may feel more like romancing a stone. On the other hand, if vou've never lived ofthe oppo- with a certain attractive person . : , ; site sex it is much easier to imagine fun on Warsof marriage, after you've , j become fully aware of each other s annoy1 Are You Paying Too Much? biiKte 4275 Harrison Blvd. JZ axU'i tionships is too narrow. How many have fallen for the first dated, then later wished deep-seate- Wuvpr rnff a romance with a spouse reasons many people may : matured enough to understand the Sunset v Rounding out the top seven fail- - So. Ogden tovefiie,andyouarenowricherthanyou extremely hard work, too. firmed that, in most cases, 9 iefrustratedorboredwiththeircurrent the greatest human relationship on earth, but it's can kill love as sure as cancer kills the body. Researchers have con- 393-229- fsnreailythatdifficultespeciallyifthey mom or dad. Perhaps the experience base of romantic interpersonal reid finding the ous, or they old friend, Reviving a romance with an ds ar Over time, in some areas, we learn to expect a lack of support from our spouse, and perhaps even a rude rebuke or stonewall when we seek change. If our past hopes have been repeatedly dashed, if our dreams have been dimmed or scorned, resent-d ments or grudges can follow. Family Support Center For many, as it is for 24-- and mid-20in the growing up takes place There are a number of other reasons why individuals may make a poor selection of mates. One or both are too eager to be married. One or both may choose like a mate to please someone else or Ms RiVht is a daunting task. Many things must be considered in making a good choice, and they must be considered before you fall in love, After you're hooked is almost too late, "Finding the Love of Your life" is an 1 t series of discussions held Sun- days at 7:30 p.m. in the Base Chapel. . This Sunday we will discuss howto elim- inate the seven most prevalent causes of poor mate selection. In a relationship there are some danger signals you may want to be alert TTinHinorlVTr almost always create expectations of a spouse that are less than enchanting. by Dave Larsen demands and responsibilities of Statistics show the divorce rate is twice as high for 21- - and by Chaplain (Maj.) Ronald Underwood mar-riao-- p MA Rate Plan! 0 Available 2-1-- 99. 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