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Show Ihursday, December JVi om I There are not many distractions at 3 o'clock in the morning, $ut that's all right. It just makes it gasier for me to review my lists. , I don't know who called me put of a sound sleep and me to a planning session, but I suspect it was my subconscious. Clearly, it was worried 'about all the things I had to get JJone, and worried about whether jj .rtad written them all down, and ;hen worried about whether I had "sufficient time to do them. - sum-jinon- ing can lead only to exhaustion. My kids' scheduled events likewise increase exponentially, with holiday recitals and programs. And as one child starts basketball, another has not yet ended soccer. My car pools are working in the office with two ringing telephones. I can believe it Give most women a family and a job add one bang-ue holiday season and you have p, full-blow- n, big-tim- high-octa- ne stress. We fall prey to what I call the Cranberry Syndrome. Ocean Spray offers cranberry sauce in a can. I like it. So why is it that at this time of year I entertain the notion of buying the raw berries and squishing my own? I don't even know how to make cranberry sauce, but every winter I contemplate the possibility. ed I Frankly, for the past few weeks, I've been worried, also. I saw a news show once about women and stress. They hooked a mother up to monitors to record Jhe. signs of stress that she exhibited under differing situations. They found that her stress levels were higher when she was shopping in the grocery store with two children than when she was double-parke- way do before we depart upon a family vacation, before which I get everything organized, washed, packed and ready. It can be hard work preparing to relax. With holidays, it's not merely that we are setting the table or purchasing gifts. Rather, we are making memories. Sometimes we are even competing with memories of our own. I respond to such stress in two ways. I make more lists than I have ideas for dinner. I eat more junk than what's hidden under my son's bed. My hands crack open a bag of Oreos while I contemplate the errands stretching ahead of me, as long as Route 66 It's something about holidays. I feel as though I should be baking bread and making crafts. If I owned a glue gun, I would be wielding it furiously. I have a list of stores to hit and perfect gifts to buy, wrapping to be done and packages to mail. The marathon schedule I have set of shopping, cooking and party TTiiflffiiT Barnharis celebrate golden with no pit stops in sight. Racing from the grocery store one day, I nearly collide with an elderly man sedately pushing his cart. "Gosh, you're in a hurry," he mutters. "You ain't seen nothing," I think to myself as I rip into the graham crackers with one hand and jam bags into the car with the other. Zooming toward the school where the bell already has rung, I realize that even a balloon does not expand indefinitely. Eventually it pops. I cannot, I tell myself as I collect my son, be stretched any further. d. I feel the I Rolland and Lawana Barnhart will celebrate their golden wedding anniversary at an open house hosted by their family on Saturday Dec. 23 from 6-- 8 p.m. at the Pleasant Grove Fire Station, 100 E. 100 South. They were married Dec. 24, 1945, on Rolland's birthday in Provo. Rolland has served as a fireman for many years in Pleasant Grove. He has been a state fireman for 40 years. He is retired from Geneva Steel. Lawana worked as a nurse at American Fork Hospital. They enjoy camping. They are the parents of six children: Kent Barnhart, Lander, Wyo.; Cindy Smith, Salt Lake City; Terry Barnhart, Gloria Swen-so- n and Sheila Bills, all of Pleas- - "Guess what, Mom? Good news," announces my clearly thrilled with his news. "I get to be VIP next week. You get to bake cupcakes for my class." Only if I can eat them. second-grade- r, Dear Miss Manners: I fear a recurrence of a past holiday dilemma. is a lady who SJl$ prgles herself on her adherence to et$rte, and relishes nothing so m$bfi!as a formal affair in which slf gan expect things to be done in a Specific manner i.e., by the book;, r The holidays provide her witrf'the perfect backdrop on whjijh to gather her large family Victorian-styl- e dinner, fojnice reflate with china and exquisite dinners, over which she labors for hours, if not days. jHer expectations are rarely met, and 'the meal (and day) always ends' with hard feelings all around. The friction occurs over several mother-in-la- for a harmonious and happy holiday? Some of us travel 700 miles, and an alternative location at smaller residences does not seem the meal because she starts clearing when a few people are still chewing the last bite or contemplating another serving of the excellent food, dinner conversation is just becoming animated as people catch up on a year's worth of news and debates, those who have finished are relishing a glass of wine or coffee and don't realize that she needs assistance, she starts cleaning and washing a few items without asking for help or even announcing her intentions, and young grandchildren get restless by then and need their share of attention. 3. Her criticisms and complaints come in the form of hints, parables, deep signs, clanking dishes, vacuumed feet and even, once, an underlined advice column left at the breakfast table the next day. These are difficult to respond to. 4. Her criticisms are directed much more at her daughters-in-labecause such household chores should be done by women. She might ask her sons to clear the snow or fix the plumbing, but these are tasks that rarely need to be accomplished during the dinner hour or the conversation which follows. Could you please suggest an ideal solution and perhaps also a w issues: lShe wears herself out preparing the meal and gets little help from the family because some are jus't arriving from long journeys, most have not seen each other in over a year and are becoming young grandchildren must be entertained andor watched, and she doesn't ask for in fact occasionally assistance turns, down offers for help on things she says she needs to do possible. Gentle Reader: By the book? Which book is that? One of those cozy books that suggests that families make up their very own traditions, thus encouraging your to enshrine her traditional grump session? This lady may have mastered the mechanics of giving a formal dinner, but she seems to have missed more essential points of etiquette. Two absolute imperatives for hosts are: Don't rush your guests when they're still eating or drinking, and don't interrupt animated conversamother-in- -law tion. Don't sulk at or around the dinner table. Still, we tend to go easy on mothers at holiday time. This is not only, as you say, because we want a harmonious gathering, but w d, herself. 2., She gets little help in clearing because we owe them respect as matriarchs, because we appreciate how hard they've worked, and because a fat lot of good it would do to try to change them. Miss Manners recommends a huddle, at which the children agree to tell grown-u- p (not ask) Mama that they are going pre-dinn- more realistic alternative that would give us all the best chance er by Cathy Guisewite cathy1 WE LIVE mom. A IN SUITCASE WHOLE WITH "S THE SAfflE TOWN whw do i AND meeo to pack DISRUPT VDUR HOrtlE 8V MOVING IM VOU m CHRISTMAS? riUTWU 7!?cw,AJ, DON'T 00 THAT NEED TO If WU DON 7 I I AlWAVS DO IT HOPE I THOUGHT ME T VOU DO VOU WANT ED I WANT TO. BECAUSE f Of COURSE) ONCi WANT V0U TO If VOU I WANT TO, TOO, DIDN'T GREAT. VOU THEN J 7 MOM. If H WANT TO I WANT TO. VOU I ( ANOTHER ( FAffllLV TRADITION Reva Warburton Frampton will celebrate her 80th birthday at a family dinner on Dec. 23 in Pleasant Grove. She was born Dec. 22, 1915, in Pleasant Grove. She married Gean Warburton Jan. 4, 1934. He died June 1, 1983. On Sept. 19, 1987 she married Jesse Frampton. He died Nov. 3, and that to do all the cleaning-up- , they have it all worked out among them w ho is to do what and at what time. (This may necessitate huddles, at which the sons are told by their wives that they are cheerfully to insist on doing their share as if it were their own idea.) This will of course not prevent from popping your mother-in-laup from the table. She will still do everything she can to work up some lather, not only for the dishes but for her tradition of feeling aggrieved. You must replace this with a new tradition. Each time you discover her getting up, you must set up a chorus in which you all tease her about taking away your job and insist that she return to the table. The grandchildren will be especially good at this. Assign them to keep an eye on her and report whenever she leaves the table. (Well, perhaps you'd better say when she leaves the table for the kitchen. We don't want the poor lady embarrassed more than necessary.) Send them after her with instructions to bring her back. All of this must be interlaced with appreciation for the meal and inquiries that draw her into the conversation. Between that and the pre-hudd- le good-natured- i WANT ,t B Rolland and Lawana ON A SWAMP ; ant Grove; and Kim Barnhart, . i Bear Lake, Penn. They have 24 grandchildren' and 21 ber of the LDS Church and has, served in the extraction program. .. She is the mother She retired from American Fork Hospital after 8 years of service. She enjoys crocheting, fishing and her family. She is an active mem 1 of six chil-- '. dren: Beverly Frampton, Keith ' Warburton and Dale Warburton,.'". all of Pleasant Grove; Betty,, Mikkelsen, Las Vegas, Nev.; Jill Hill of Vancouver, Wash.; Verleen Heath, Boise, Idaho. She has 28 grandchildren, two nine 6 step- children, 25 and three By JEANE DIXON For Dec. 22 ARIES (March 21 April 19): Experience counts big with influential people. Suddenly your talents are in greater demand. Do not sell yourself short. Keep your nose to the grindstone during work hours, but avoid acting like Scrooge with loved ones. y TAURUS (April 20): Update your hairstyle and wardrobe while keeping your ears open for new job leads. When revamping your resume, emphasize your versatility. Once hired, you will be asked to take on new responsibili- ly ties. GEMINI (May 20): A agreement and greater domestic harmony combine to put you in the holiday spirit. Be willing to share unique concepts with those who have real vision. A new business partnership is possible. CANCER (June 21 --July 22): Not a good day to take on additional projects. Focus on the most important tasks. Delegating responsibility to qualified personnel shows you are an effective manager. LEO (July 22): The emphasis now is on devoting quality time to children. Plan fun but quiet projects that will keep them from getting too wound up with holiday excitement. Give yourself a breather from time to time. VIRGO (Aug. 22): Gift items may be hard to find or on the expensive side. Utilize the services of people who can help you solve this problem. Although your romantic intentions are fine, slow down. t. LIBRA (Sept. 22): You make new friends w herever you go now. Avoid publicizing an idea you have developed until you find backers. Take steps to patent or copyright your work. SCORPIO (Oct. 21): Family members may be tired and overly sensitive today. Avoid making unnecessary demands on their time. Pamering those you love will boost domestic harmony. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 21): Someone who lives far away is uppermost in your thoughts. Call or send a gilt by express mail. Inexpensive or homemade stocking stuffers can be a big hit. CAPRICORN (Dec. 19): This can be a terrific day if you do not run out of energy. Pace yourself. Influential people like your ideas and may be willing to arrange financial backing. 18): Friendship AQUARIUS (Jan. plays a key role in business today. A partner could keep you guessing. Plan to enroll in class es that will sharpen your skills. Postpone" " career move until after Jan. 1. e PISCES (Feb. 20): A job could be the answer to a temporary cash shortage. Follow up ads in the new spaper or network w ith friends. You need to be discreet when dealing w ith a jealous member of opposite sex. EVjENPEAK ANNOUNCES ROCK-SOLI- I i , 1994. of "Oops, Grandma's game escaped again," she will be receiving far too much attention to be able to go off and be morose. BUILT Of WILL. v ) ) Give Her Diamonds IT ALL BECAUSE & ,. w THESE VEARS JUST TO. Sf Frampton to celebrate 80th Martyr mom casts a pall on family's holiday By JUDITH MARTIN Page C3 ! falls prey to 'cranberry syndrome' By TERYL ZARNOW Orange County Register Z 21, 1995 THE DAILY HERALD, Provo, Utah I FAMILY SEASON PASSES TO. VOU ALARD & LOSEE JEWELERS ICE SKATING RINK NOW OPEN! Only in CottonTree Square 2230 North University Parkway Christmas Special! SOLAR NAILS $35. 'Carl & Bottie" Thomhill J Pedicures $25 WHOTORD Body Contouring Waxing Cddwtll Banker ft Provo 373-100- Call 0 For Information-- 373-877- 9 SABLE NAILS Twice The Service -- Htn. fealty Sat. 226-024- LAST MINUTE-CHRISTMA- S CLOCK SALE MILLER 5 .M J tVV.S J .5 Li ? 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