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Show THE DAILY HERALD. Provo, Utah, Wednesday. October 7, 1998 Pige A2 Professor's. top In addition to teaching classes and writing obscure articles that no one but an overworked graduate student will ever read, what I do as a prof here at BYU is advise 1,0 reasons for students to get an English degree without a different degree hanging on my wall) but I can give them the top 10 reasons to get a degree in English: 10. So you can feel morally superior to people who make usage errors, including the people who call usage errors "grammar' errors. 9. So you can use words like PRESENT USPCSECT people. Students who major in English come to see me if their names start with C, D or E, and together we work out their undergraduate careers. I may not give them a reason to get up in the morning (I'm not into that kind of advice not "ordinate," "pastiche," "canoni-calistic,- " "hermeneutic" and "hegemony" with a straight Zina Petersen face. 8. So you can be the only ate" as you can. 5. So you can justify reading the Starr report by using it in a term paper on Yeats' poem "The Second Coming," especially to prove that point Yeats makes about "mere anarchy" being "loosed upon the world," and "The good lack(ing) all conviction, while the worstAre full of passionate intensity." 4. Without an English degree, you'd miss half of the literary and cultural allusions in "The Simpsons." person on your bowling league to understand "found poetry." 7. So you can impress your date by quoting Anthony Trollope (Hint: Only quote to impress if you are sure your date is worthy of it, i.e. "knows" you're quoting, knows you're quoting Trollope, knows Trollope is worth quoting and gets it.) 6. So you can read the Starr report and find as many definitions of the word "inappropri S. So you can use Shakespeare in your telemarketing phone job. 2. So you can wear a that says, "I Can Do ANYTHING. I Have Read "Bleak House." 1. So you can be an educathumanitaried, an, aware, deeply thoughtful car salesman, massage therapist or street urchin. rt well-rounde- Zina Petersen is a professor of English at BYU. UTAH VALLEY BRIEFING Lehi flu and pneumonia inoculations will be offered by the Utah County Health Department from p.m. today at the Senior Center, 12 N. Center St. The flu shot will cost $8 and the pneumonia is $15. Those who have Medicare Plan B and bring their cards may have the cost billed to Medicare. But if the card is left at home, they will have to pay for the services. Low-cos- t 3 Lindon No decision was made on two variance requests Thursday because the Board of Adjustments meeting was canceled. ning commissioner; and Pat Clegg, resident. Orem members include Bill Pepperone, city councilman; David K. Palfreyman, city councilman; Gary Wise, planning commissioner; and Kim Struthers, res- ident. Payson Harvest Fest kicks off Thursday and will also serve as a benefit for Kyle Hogan, a young man who is paralyzed from a car accident last May. There will be an arts and crafts fair and farmers market at the Peteetneet Academy, 10 N. 600 East. Hours are: Thursday, p.m.; Friday, 10 a.m. to 8 p.m.; Saturday, 10 a.m. to 6 p.m. 2-- 8 The traditional barn fest, boutique and antique sale is scheduled from 10 a.m. to 8 p.m. Thursday and run through Oct. 17, in Hobble Creek Barn, 1220 E. 1200 North, Mapleton. Admission is $1. There will be fall festive games, including a corn maze and pumpkin patch. Straw and corn stalks are for sale too. The fes will be closed Sunday. The Senior Citizen Center is sponsoring a driving class Oct. The 55 Arrive Alive class is from 5 p.m. at the Senior Center, 50 East Center Street. There is an $8 registration fee. The film "Nafanua," based on the book "Nafanua: Saving the Samoan Rain Forest" by Paul Alan Cox, will be shown at 7 p.m. Thursday in room 1 of the Benson Building at BYU. Cox, a former dean of General Education and Honors at BYU, will also give a lecture on the subject Oct. 13 at 7 p.m. W-11- Orem An eight-memb- committee has been appointed to oversee planning for a proposed OremVineyard community golf course. Members from Vineyard are Grant Holdaway, city council-- . man; Dave Robins, city councilman; Arthur Pheysey, plan- - Spanish Fork in the Joseph Smith Building auditorium. Salem The Daily Herald vaccination clinic is slated from p.m. Thursday at the Senior Center, 167 W. Center. Flu vaccinations are $8; pneumonia vaccinations are $15. SpriilgVillC A flu vaccination clinic is scheduled today from p.m. at the Senior Center, 45 E. 200 South. Flu vaccinations are $8; pneumonia vaccinations cost 3 $15. Vineyard The Town Historical Committee will meet at 8 tonight in the town office, 240 E. Gammon Road. Woodland Hills Residents are encouraged to conserve water for the next few days until city officials can get the town's water pump fixed. The water is safe to drink. Officials are asking people to refrain from doing laundry and taking long showers so that the water in the tank doesn't run out before the pump is fixed. Nebo School District School is canceled Thursday and Friday in Nebo School District to enable ings. Payson mulls Utah incumbents enter races zone change with sizeable war chests The Associated Press By AMY K. STEWART The Daily Herald PAYSON City officials want to change a zoning ordinance to help ease the transition between the commercial and residential parts of ' town. They're asking for input on their ideas at a public hearing at 7 tonight in the city offices, 439 W. Utah Ave. City officials would like to amend parts of the Title 19 Zoning Ordinance, specifically the l Zone (Special Highway Services Zone). They want development to happen in line with the city's goals and would like to see the wording in the zoning ordinance exemplify this, said City Manager Andy S-- SALT LAKE CITY State legislators have a head start on their political challengers when it comes to raising money for this year's elections. Political Action Committees (PACs) and corporations contributed $86,483 to legislators in 1997 even though none of them would be facing voters until this fall, according to a new report by the Utah Progressive Network (UPNet). "Incumbents heading into the election season have a clear advantage over challengers," said Jeff Sprole, executive director of the coalition. Sprole said the contributions allow legislators to intimidate incumbents with funding "war chests." The money they had going into the campaign year amounted to about a third of what it cost the average lawmaker to win a seat would-b- e UPNet analyzed financial reports filed with the state Elections Office by lawmakers, companies, labor unions and interest groups that are best known as PACs. The reports covered who gave and who received contributions of up to $750 or more during the course said. want to have a community design theme," he said. That would include rules regulating uniform architectural design, landscaping and the size of buildings, Hall said. "We want to try to make the development look as though it is meant to be friere," he said. "We CITY Marilyn Quayle said Tuesday SALT LAKE the House Judiciary Committee was right to recommend a full impeachment probe of President Clinton. The wife of former Vice President Dan Quayle was in town campaigning for Sen. Bob Bennett, Quayle said that Clinton swore on the Bible to uphold the nation's laws, including the laws against perjury. "If a President of the United States can perjure himself, can completely go against the rule that the Harvest Fest, Kathy Rasmussen 465-511- 6 10 a.m. to 6 p.m. on Saturday. There will be gift ideas for the upcoming holidays and fresh produce from area farmers' fields at run through Saturday at the Peteetneet Academy, 10 N. 600 East. There will be an autumn and Christmas crafts fair, farmer's market, pumpkin contest and cowboy poetry gather- home-crafte- d the fair. The pumpkin contest is also is from Thursday. Weigh-i4:30-5:4the at p.m. ing. portion of the proceeds will go toward the Kyle Hogan Fund. Hogan is a young man who was paraaccilyzed in a dent this spring. The craft and produce fair begins Thursday and runs from p.m. It's open from 10 a.m. to 8 p.m. on Friday and A n 5 Farmers Intermountain Association, 444 E. 100 North. Judging will be at the Peteetneet Academy at 6:30 p.m. To register your pumpkin, four-wheelin- g 2-- at or the Peteetneet Academy at 465-942- call Katherine at Local merchants have donated prizes and all participants will 798-767- 8 UPNet said. of law and our system of justice, what does that tell the rest of the nation?" Quayle asked. "This is very, very serious." Quayle said the Clinton scandal has also eroded trust among world leaders, making the world a more dangerous place. She said she and her husband were told by the ambassador from Saudi Arabia that foreign leaders won't support the president because they can't trust him. She also said her husband is contemplating a run for the Republican presidential nomination in 2000, but has not made up his mind one way or the other. walk away with a prize. The cowboy poetry is the highlight of the festival. It will be at 7 p.m. on Friday in the LDS chapel cultural hall east of the Peteetneet Academy. The cost is $5 per person. A barbecue ' sandwich dinner is available. Marion Manwill, president of the Peteetneet Academy, said the cowboy poetry event is a must-see- . There will also be country singers and trick ropers. "If you want to hear and see some great cowboy entertainment and help raise money for a good cause, then come on out," Manwill said. Not only is it an enjoyable event, but it's great entertainment for the whole family, be said. "People just love the good, clean humor and entertainment," Manwill said. down-to-eart- h Haymond won't try to reclaim House seat to the GOP nomination Matthew Throckmorton at the county convention in May. Haymond said his delegates couldn't make it to the caucus meetings, while Throckmorton packed meetings with his supporters. In response, he hinted he would wage a write-icamThrockmorton. paign against Fudge said he talked with Haymond twice about the ramifications of such an act, including newly enacted bylaws that would bar Haymond from receiving GOP support for a r period if he ran against a Republican as an independent. "We were hopeful that he would not run because the party already has a nominee in Matthew Throckmorton, a capable individual," Fudge said. "We're delighted with (Haymond) not running, since By DONALD W. MEYERS The Daily Herald State SPRINGVILLE Rep. J. Brent Haymond won't wage a write-icampaign to reclaim his House seat. In a letter released Tuesday, n the Springville Republican said business demands preclude him from serving in the Utah State House of Representatives at the moment. 'The business however, will allow (me) in the year 2000 to run again for the Legislature," Haymond said in the letter. For Rod Fudge, Utah County chairman, Republican announcement Haymond's allows him to put aside fears of a split Republican party in House District 65, which includes and Springville Mapleton. Haymond, who represented the district for eight years, lost n Absolutely His Bast bheIKu horns 1555 North Freedom Boukswd P.O. Box 717. Provo, Utah 84603-071- Classified Advertising Retail Advertising SubKripricK aad deliver)' service Newsroom For Dtpirtmenrs not listed ibove FAX 0 5 J75-5- 1 03 0 9 Jden kenldtitni.com USPS Published (ISSN: daily Monday through Friday evening; Saturday and Sunday morning by Pulitzer Community Newspapers, Inc., 1555 North Freedom Boulevard, Provo. Utah 84604. Periodicals postage paid at Provo, Utah. POSTMASTER: Send address changes to: The Dailv Herald, P.O. Box 717. Provo, Utah NEWSSTAND PRICE Daily Weekdays and Saturday Sunday $.50 $1.50 SUBSCRIPTION RATES period Daily and Sunday Mail, in U.S.A One Year $9.00 $13.00 tin advance! Daily and Sunday Mail, in U.S.A. lin Sunday only Seven days $99.00 advance! $117.00 $169.00 'Rales may differ outside UUh County Guaranteed delivery: Your ttevvspaper should arrive by 6:30 a.m. on weekdays and 6:30 a.m. on weekends. If you do not receive your paper, please call by 9:00 a.m. weekdays and 10 a m. on weekends. Delivery is guaranteed. For new subscriptions, restarts, home delivery information, cancellations or billing informa3 weekdavs from 6:00 a.m. to tion, call . S:30 p.m. PH the security system chosen by over one million families nationwide. rg m Member: Audit Bureau of Circulation m nr to ADVERTISING To 0 between 8:00 place a want ad, call a.m. to 6:00 p.m. weekdays and Saturdays from 9:00 a.m. to 12 noon. M fa' I.! " CFF additional 7t option I 1 mn HERALD THE Established August 1, 1873. wm Trust Committee. 84603-071- security at the SHE it would have siphoned votes away from Matt." But that's not to say" Haymond's political career is over, Fudge said. He said Haymond could seek the party's nomination for the seat again in 2000 or run for a state Senate seat. Haymond served as chair of several House committees, including the Health and Human Service Appropriations Subcommittee and the Child Welfare Legislative Oversight; two-yea- of 1997. On average, each state legislator began 1998 with $5,273 toward the 1998 reelection campaigns. It cost an average of $13,883 to win a seat in 1996, legislative Marilyn Quayle says House right to launch full impeachment probe The Associated Press For more information on call A dusting of PAYSON snow atop the mountains amid red and gold ripples means it's time once again for the Harvest Fest. Events begin Thursday and in 1996. Hall. "We're just tweaking it (the ordinance) to make sure it is in line with what we're trying to accomplish,' Hall said. Some goals city officials have in mind include making sure commercial buildings match each other and blend in well with the community, Hall Fcr rr.cro info A flu teachers to attend UEA (Utah Education Association) meet- Volunteer firefighters are time to be reaped by all By AMY K. STEWART 7-- Provo (Good 423-277- 3 Pleasant Grove Mapleton needed by the city. Stop by the city offices at 30 W. 100 South, or call 000 fJJF-SSD- I Offer expires 930798 j j rr For retail display or commercial classified 6 The fax or advertising, call number for advertising materials is NEWS We welcome aews tips. To report a tip or if you have a comment or question regarding a news article, call DEPARTMENT Kirk Parkinson Mike Patrick Tanya Nielsen . Donnie Welch Ruts Davis Brian Tregaskis Mike Htnman Larry Hatch , . 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