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Show (ii By Jim Marshall Published by tin H' r.n.I Corporation, E. C. Rodgera, president at South First V.f.-t-. Hi., V?c Utah, dally. Entered aa a aecond-claa- a matter at the poitof.'H, m Provo, Utah. Member of the United Preaa Association, NEA "!? rvlvrt '. Paine Editorial Service, and the Scripps- 00 1 Today Jive, got a letter from a business man which started out "My Dear Mr." Marshall" and wandered along thru' a lot of flow"your favor .of reery phrascs-lik- e cent date" and ''it gives ua much ' "' pleasure" and wound up with "I am, Sir, Yours Most Faithfully and we read it twice- - and wondered 'If the. man who sent it out ever took a course in efficiency Canfield Newspapoit!; Gllman, Nicol A Kiifhman, National Advertising Representatives San Francisco .off ice, 507 Montgomery St.; Chicago office, 410 N. t Michigan Ave. j New York office, 19 W. 44th St.; Boston office, ' , Bldg. Trfr-mon- ' Telephonea Business office, 495; Society reporter, 107; Editorial room, 494. If you do not receive your paper before 8 p. m., telephone 493 and a copy will be delivered to your residence. terms By carrier In the county, 45 cents the month; the year in advance; by mall in the county,' - $4.50; outside -- county, $3.00. All over V jt Along every western highway are scores of gasoline sta- m " ' . . - , - . ' - The Impotency of It District of Columbia supreme court solemnly issues a citation requiring Blackmer, of Sinclair conspiracy notoriety, to Mi held in showcause, byJFebruary. 25why he should rontempt of court. A soothing reply ought to be easy for Blackmer. He can express his real sentiments somewhat like this: "I am in France. France refuses to let me be extradited. and will stay here. It i3 American justice's next I like France ' move." ' v How like a game of chess is American justice's monkeying with that infamous oil conspiracy ! not-b- e' . , i Living ,m Klin ..hii ururiwr vi I II i i i A' 111 -- . V,eWau XM i fur Neckpiece Good Old Boreas ' '. . . .-- HERE VWER tVERV MOVt- 8uT i . - idea,- wou'll, Wo SAVE TTME, Akj' FA-ST-- r Ki&jef? KeitiA rJROM iw' 'fH' , OlSEVpa -- P- - V IK. " , Another gosh-der- n liar Is Henry T. McFife; He says he takes a cold bath Each morning of his life! believes and we think wo speak for the great army of stenographerswhen we say that business would get along faster and more .easily with out them , t - nta.u.aMT.orr. Some men are POPULAR , Yam address an envelope to Johr Smithand then on' the Inside at the top 'of the letteY you put John Smith again fcbut even that doesn't satisfy it in a youand you have to write thlrdime as "My dear Mr. Smith" on the theory we suppose that if John Smith found a letter addressed to himself he would thlnk.lt might.be for Frank Erowc and fall. to read it . This Is Prof. Cuthbert W. Aspirin, famous scientist, who has done much to Improve the lot of the American pROVO-fATION- S -- i i Tain salutation stuff on a lette- ris about as much use as a China- man's queue" the Chlncman found out somf years ago that he wasn't gettlnp any use out of his queue and so hr had sense enough to cut it off and every American knowf1 that a lot of the hooey that goes into letters Is junt as useless and yet his old conservatism insists on putting It in AND, LISTEN: How far d'yov think we'd get if we insisted op starting every column "My Dear Readers" and ending it with "I am, your obedient servant, Jim Marshal?'' r " H (Copyright, 1928) folks!- - We're afraid Howdy, ETIQCET NOTE Utttle, Provocation, ir. to be disappointed this Christmas. Ho has asked Santa t'las to bring him a Baldwin locomotive and 7000 miles of track. ' is going ' Never blow on the coffee In your saucer t'j cool it Hold It in lfrpnt of an electric fan. j - -- Ji si Christms Note: Before wrapping them up, be sure to remove the ' . Today's Fable: Once upon a, time pfice marks from all Christmas he sports editor of a newspaper presents except tho expensive licked an football ones. earn which ' didn't contain tho lame of a single' local 'player. FAMILIAR ANATOMY I OUB OWN Mlstle-TO- ELEVEN mean "have to." ADAGE popularly used but often misquoted; "All is not lost that Is In danger" was "All Is not lost thai lycth in parell' as it appears ir Meluslne, a French romance of tht 14thcentury. ' "Two gentlemen," said a thickset smoker, gently, "were dismissing a lady. , "Remarkable woman, Agnes,' said one, shaking his head thoughtfully. "'Yes, indeed," nodded the other, e 'A real widow.' " . . ..... y ?' - MX, self-mad- IMMEDIATE CLEANING .Never hang a party dress that Is spotted. Either remove It ypur-scor have it cleaned. Many spots can be taken out easily at first that are impossible to budge- later. -- . lf - Baseball experts have perhaps the best definition of amateurs we have tnosr-'ftv- e guys Washingon traded or Buddy Myers com?-acroRs- rlf - ', Miss Helen Ellla of Los Angeles entered her pet cat thus in the southland recent cat show and won a prize. There were catcalls from some of the disappointed competitors but none from the sightseers. aren't amateurs, what E science ' so have" CHRISTMAS SALE .THE 1 Immediately Families In Provo Urged to CareruL Bo? -. DUMBBELL CLUB Now Is your chance to let Santa Claus repair the metal work on your car. It may be a bent or broken. fender, mud guard or body. ' ! J IX A We are prepared, mo matter what may be your- riurry, to fill your car wrlth gas and oil on record - JL Jueiike-ll170 N. f Co. T'liUfrsity Aw. ' Fmvo, I tiih. X :. .' . ' getic, " nt . ".'. y : : In the West I EAMO Many distinctive models to choose from Price to fit any purse. c 3 pi Phone . 74 J St rc I and " mmmmms We ext end to you our MM Best Wishes oiva mm Merry Merry Xmas and a Happy and Pros-peoWe7 Year. wages only a few years back. Those, who have 'worked and saved, cannot be other than prosper- .'ous this"Christma8. paid Pr. H T1 m - E lit us Make the New Year Better and Happier with a New Qievrolct - University Ave. Phone 156 -Provo Utah OIP. FOOD ." '';' -- misfor- II, S P BY r- - fS um 0v j. 4- . ,'.f; RESOLVE TO USE BETTER GAS BETTER OIL BETTER SERVICE ',1 siuKtj ti S pi n 2 ch a r S R SI n w, H Get Tliem at 241 ci Superior Service Stations Provo,' Utah 5th West ..... SC ( Center Phone 74 i .... .. .i ,1,., ji'm-f- i d( CO1 V .:,-- East Center SKAGGS )imii .my - A SIX AS TEE PRICE OF A FOUEl these tune, who will not have a pleasant Christmas u n 1 e s s "some big hearted person lends a hand. An O. P. Skaggs System Store js the, ideal place to select an assortment of eatables for staple the-- needy " family you want to help. . We'll lend every assistance in such cases. Don't forget them. 71 46 N. I'.-- ' pi have been and are fabulous when compared with those ROBINSON'S, SUPEKIOR Service Stations fithWcat ayi Ontor, Never has our country, generally been so prosperous as at this Christmas time. There has 'been N,work for the ener- avoidable Something New in JIFFY breaking time at any hour of the day or night you run Into our auto filling station. Furthermore, we We can fix it and make it good as fill your tank and motor with the new at very small cost. Let us fix very best quality of gas and oil. It now so as to have the car ready We arc right on the Job. for ".the holiday season. t CHRISTMAS who, Another carload of the. famous PACKARD and BONO PIANOS Just received from the. factory. , SCPPUED IS PROSPEROUS PIAKS . j L prosperous times, have met with sickness or other un- Friots Br dihe Mil "Xylotrohyyydroxgluatric ' acid las. been recommended by acicn-iista aa a beverage." News item. Patron at soda fountain: "Give me a glass of Xyltrihy Oh, heck, make it root beer!" " No Money Down Lowest Dear B .Unfortunate There are those even in PLAYER PIANOS VICTROLAS. GET IT FIXED and you? . : Plea sLii Qieck Colds insignificant that the only way they, can attract attention. is to get up and move that the meeting be adjourned. ..- Prevent Flu While grip and influenza are ed" prevalent, local peop-.- e are urged .to Of all the brainless nuta we know, use this modern way of checking There are non quite so doggone little colds before they become big: Have a Jar of Vicka VapoRub on . dumb, use at the ' Aa those- who'll .use the sidewalks hand ready for Ins-a' cold. as flrat of When every sign working girl. A place to park their cast-of- f rubbed on throat and chest, .or. ; Prof. Aspirin Is ' gum. snubbed up the nose, Vicks releases ' the man who In . Its ingredients In the formpf 'medW-cat- ed vented a method CIncInnaU12nqulrer. of of preserving the flavor vapors which are breathed gum in direct to the infected part. stuck on a bedpost overnight. Although this is a brainless nut, In addition, Vicks "acta througlr. , ' A bigger boob by far . . the skin like a "drawiris' matches on out" all tightness poultice, It is hard to convince a wife Is he who scratches and, pain, loosen- of our car! The fenders that heavy underclothes will ing the phlegm, clearing the head,. 3E 3( tjfi Jjj and easing the difficult 'breathing-.keep her Just as warm as a new To prevent cplds "fronf "lowering fur coat. . .Literary Item:' The only way the can double bis read vitality and thus paying the way . average poet for flu and pneumonia, they should MX GEE GEE SAYS IT IS is iu umrty, be treated direct and. inatahth as BETTER TO BE WELL FORMED ing puunu THAN TO BE WELL INFORM-- ' you would an infected finger. ' " Art Shannon. r.u. Some Are mrm . I than you I ha I w " LEG-ac- Bolon-KNE- E 1 - E Dcai ' hand-writte- In Smoking Room ' imo ' SAY "He don't know During the second act the cur-ti-n "Ho doesn't" is correct' how." will be lowered 10 seconds to PRONOUNCE as if denote a lapse of 150 years. "yonder" ' with stress on Rpelled "yon-der- " "yon". It la not "yun-der.- " DON'T USE "haftcr" when you : s t DONT ' r i No business ' man would waste n time having his letters or copte'd on an press or sent out and delivered by a private servant nobody puts a red seal on a let ter these days and yet everyone goes .on wast ing time and money over meaning. less phrases that nobody reads or YOUR-ENGLIS- .4 8 " ' 7 . ByHIIXBIIXY Too many unessential In modern urban life; so cuddled and protected that a folded rose leaf under the pillow disturbs. The first cold snap has closed In upon me; not Arctic cold, but ' chill enough to make you snap Unto it. call it. cold .when the ice freezes in the kitchen water bucket; when the ground remains un-thawed all day; when the apples in the shed take .on a jacket frost, and I move the cot in beside the stove and require no open window by night, but ' ' plenty of sausage ard kraut and hot coffee by day, When such a time cornea in the hills the fellows in the cabins i do not become agitated regarding the state of their Immortal souls, nor the price of canned mushrooms; they are equally uninterested as to whether Tom Mix or Doug Fairbanks appear at the cross road movie "palace," and the sad plight .... of our merchnt marine does not move them to tears. " V'.'A No, sir. When' winter cornea to the' hills there are two thlnga and only two ' that intrigue men in" . cabins; heat and food; heat for animals as well as . for humans; the horses come .off the frosted pas- tures and are grained and given hay;' 4h0 dry 'cpws and the calves aire bedded 'down in the'ahed and fed; HILL BILLY the most Important bit of aceneryl before, the cabin door tothe, wood la a pile,, and a hunk of salt pork annotated with plenty of ' aorgum ' ' . . dainty. . I personally hate cold weather I was. brought up' ia. blizzard country, and I never was young enough, nor dumb enough, to not know that I hated cold winda and drifting snow and icy sheets. I never saw a day too hot for my enjoyment, buteven moderate cold I detest-- , Yet. ; these hills so intrigue me mat I refuse to descend to the warm south lowlands, and. tho cold is disagreeable! the body of me certainly renews . . ' Its youth when cold weather jomes and-- have to bust out my fuel with ' ax, saw and splitting wedge. stove In the If thdre is a greater blow than to kit by a- behind the stove; hills, with bark and kindling and pitch knots heaped with a satisfied interior garnished with adequate greasy gmb; a pup, a cat, a pipe and a flagon of Northern. Spy cider; knowing that the nags are fed and warmly bedded; that the flivver Is drained, and the lower gate closed and padlocked, I have not met up with it. Boreas plays a hard symphony; he Is a Wagner; no sweet, placid ' Straus, but he certainly can make the red corpuscles dance. .' pot-belli- H - r - - thousands of stenographers waste time and paper and typewriter ribbon writing meaningless phrases on Expensive notepaper everybody is ,'My Dear Sir" or ' "My, Dear Madam," aHho the writer and the recep-ledon't know each other from Adam's off,px and probably don't want to i , -- and down at the bottom there is some, more" hooey about "Believe "me, "Dear Sir, Ever ' """". Yours Truly" which doesn't mean a thing and isn't intended to - v- ".fil , (Hill Billy's views, in his daily stories, are his own.'- They do not, '" necessarily, coincide with those of this newspaper. EDITOR.). day- - Amerlca-j-eyer- ' - OP.. CAur 6PEEO t ... 11 By Williams : s; I V VI. 11KUW A 11 TAmAll a u i -' i : : nt tions. .'J:';, ' A good many people think there; are too many of them; that they do not enhance the beauty of the landscape. ' One western automobile club that of Washington state proposes to diminish the number of such stations by mak-..ing them take out "certificates of necessity." Such certificates now are issued, to. common carriers, power concerns and so forthi by the state board of public works. , .. The automobile club should drop its plan at once. It is an unwarranted invasion of private business methods. If the state can say how many gasoline stations there may be along a highway, it can 'say how many department stores there should be to a tity block. Or how many butcher shops. Or hoWmany taxis, may ply for hire downtown.' ' Such power should never be given a state body of any ' - . ' kind. ' There is increasing pressure on state governments' to reg-- i ulate hours of labor and conditions under which business may Legislatures should resist t he pressure and ignore the temptation to meddle with private 'affairs. We hold no brief for gasoline stations ; the scores of them, interspersed with hot dog stands,, make the' highways no pleasanter. But. they have a right to be in business without as they conduct themselves lawstate interference as long ' .." .. fully. ' . v . jfr 5C ifc N. Gunnar Rasmuson, editor and manager; R. W. Goodell, managing editor; N. C. Hicks, county editor; J. A. Owens, advertising manager. Not the Right Way to Go About i VAY " : ..." Subscription $5.00 PUT rOUR ...... THE OBSERVER THE'. HERALD""""" I SECTION TWO ; PROVO SUNDAY IIERALD, SUNDAY, DECEMBER 23, 1928. PAGE TWO ; ph |
