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Show t taiiiSH.ttott. E. Rodgera..prfBldffnt. Entered as second-clas- s matt 64 Bo, iai.W. fe$ HdvbJ t&afc, Sab at tha jtoiftoifr Jn Provo, ytah.LJlomlr of U United Prea elation, jNKV .Sarvlba, .FUu. Jtdltorlal i Bervloa, and tha JamaaU. . A most cf A J - oflomg Cxon BARtRrrl summer TasX xU crto awitONlrfpapam, 107 J s Telephouea-rBuslnea- 'v , , it offlos, SB; Society reporter, Jfwi 4o sot raoalva your paper befora 6 p. k deltawrad to your rasldanoa.-- . roMBi 0Oti"' M 'aid' ftjMjiria .r.-- i, ' i r, . &t&icpin earrtar la ta term-- ar ttfeaty.X-- S UtorV.k- - C. Jllcka, aounty editor; R. W. Goadell, managing A. Owens, advertlaing manager. J. i- - 51 14- trigrm two-spee- lng stiff. ' has graded the road from the, last VA' l I gate;Theaftercounty negotiating the mile and a half of ruta bumps, rocks and washes, I turn" Lll loose when we pass Ihe last gate; and, Li! bounds down it with a HILL BILLY that smooth-rockestretch, like a coyote on his brush; I did that last evening;. and Lil got so enthusiastic about It that she kept right on going; there was the road; it was full of Mike's cows; there, was a large and stolid fir stump by the side of the road; I took the stump; golly, .what a bang that was. ; j - . So I am going to pry Lil off the stump and, between the blacksmith and me, plus a few hanks jf baling wire, "Lil will get to going d nuisances; again; but I just wanted to tell you about these fliv crisis .1 .deacrlbereach dowiMUUt yank-bac- k. e harden the emergency brake. - " ' Why didn't 1 do that? "" ; of 4t t f f - Why'tiiixe WorU More Anxious to Reward I; -- ' ork I-- ltd- two-spee- iLyoiev-!rtoe(it;jip;.wlt--..th- -- rotoutioLjob. jiels Ketei5tty).Jhtf :: "wViVlfA and Uvea In Cincinnati. Prospective jemptoyersp-tsacred ly' strtfe-- t terpetuat-thoW,"--- ' Work, tbld him ' rights of property on a oatning Zr-aSo Mr." Koe put toTpreservthe"proper"tn-cantlve for each of ns to get what suit, steppediink) the Ohio river 62 fad ftjrtnli&rF foi- - ye&rs-ol- d ,,-- nd wiuAas ill. a3 it ( " r m capa-Heworkm- i t If Jlrhfioe had donTkhum-- : ble jobv faithfully, he never wuold have attracted the attention his water circus brought agmgTnen.na-.women.inaur-w- couhtry, facing poverty and mis' 1! erable deaths , .,. we mhst at all hazards preserve the right of one man to exploit all other men to the best of . . his ability . as the power of money-gtv- es him the opportunity ' him.- :. :..!!..- - I thought too of tha tides of . In our own political life Many of ua are too eagerTo corruption and the mad scramble for place acclaim heroes of daring per- and power of formances and ignore the quiet, crime andTrtisery -- r6r unassuming, workmen who do ;' And tTien Jim my eyes wandered back to those five pigeons sit: of Sacting up there on the .mWe (cheer-- f or, an ocean flier, rifice to war and strifefigure HI ... and I just could not nelp thinkbut pay no tribute tp the pa- ni.. he was a symbol of the. time 'n Fipnf wnrlrera in lahnrntnrips' ing of peace and plenty that Is yet to alid rnacitof shopl who, rdaie hiq spectacular feat possible. come to humanity as a whole ' :.o But. listen, Jim: It can't come "beauty queen," aild ill and kind- very fast as long, as you and others work, common-sens- e fb like you misrepresent the truth Vd ini6thK in a make ness her wholesome, attrac- for the pujt that,ier. 1L sake of a 'Joke r tive L : .' . . . and. listen again r-- It can't come young .FohiaiL; . :fefyiftfe&plg,.liife .Hit Roe to perform circus stunts to so very fast as long as lt--ls more profitable to keep people in ignor obta&Jl Iwjtogi .AKho such .stunts are useless to the world. I " ance than ta tell them the truth a jLearJfi aa Vo'd :gfow older young people, especially to their jobs faithfully and. well . , for yearsj y'.. . -- : i a I- f- vaiuA.tna work; of men and women not as a spectacle, but as c A : a Helle D. A;w6nian apiJeared In the courtroom. a Russall in Ne L(5ridon, Conn., the other da f. Slie-wV ' iJ c wftne&t anJ khe wora hiking breeches. ' batl- - brderd the judge. 'i, ean't iahd the wdmaitr "I'm a witness." ' T dorft ckr. "Go home and pot nh some other clothes. You tah't testify in that rig," said the person on the bench. ;i WfeH; ftS brobabljr, treasonable : to ask, but wlioever gaY6 & Judge thig right to decide what women may or may .r not Wear in court? And who gave the judges the right to t bar witnesses because of their clothes? And who gave the Ih'A rtgnt to 'Iwiwl out women citizens in courtrooms, judge i,i " y - FASHION as . - in "anyir Vr'; iT' of-th- em Jt Ow-'toirttftipt- 1 i a 1.- ' Nctetrfthis Tot Farmers ' i i Ji li " ".'"s6Jutionsw.xf the farmers' .WfijifVi read carrfiity and Mr.' Smith. Neither Mr Hoover prpWems.eUCTested by of '.tbw.?etii)9.tq hav any thing more than some yagiie cure-al- l; :::T II iieither advances any conprete, definite idea, see, why, the government should work out ;the luroersV prbbWs' any. more than, it should work Mhfrtmnera probieros 9r ihe problems, of waterr'orks and pper jjarita. At it is, argued that we must have food, then it is equally Irue that we must have fuel and water and who produce fuel in the Northwest, have . :v i... , , :c to solve thwr w troubles. r A4 Jong Jai If jafrraer 'keeps relying oh politkianBto " help im.be'll r&fy in vain. Jle must organize, as other producer Mv donfe, lnl work out his wnsalvjitlon-H- e knows, iiiat!8wrwgi'hat Cart be tdoWB ni what tcan't powerr-Lwmberme- , v . pre4, be done. No politician , ; God jtfll does. ' , r . tiSs- - th6s'e,, who help themselves. Jtie Height of Optimism r; A Seattt'ertanicfi8t, e4Ung about jfier cjustomers, refers 'IbW'thdir wjVes,Dut are lonely in a great . ta ihe jcnem &ndwwitvta Ukeljthejlittle lady, of the buffer, out to sttity . . . t , j, i ilitf nor. i i bS They'll more than likely tell the missus about it ,in a letter aftei'wiird,' says the mahi'cuHst. Oh;rady;iadyj- ".J t -- i VAMJP 141 Gee Gee says I her , I m r J i'iorm . Starting today wfc will call for snd deliver wash and grease Jobs at rtT' yUJSrr , Im . T rigi-prl4- 8. . ROBERTS-SUPE- 1 R--- SERVICE n v Opposite Roberts Hotel Is Kk6 paralysis three strokes and If s all over. - OREM NOTE V ' TIP OF under-nouiinhe- law-ridd- en 4 busy-bodie- 'grammatical woman scratched out the words "'On the next day the small boy again Bnowea the diary with hik final entry before coins to. h,A "Set " at 8 o'clock," his mother cpa...,.ine Scotsman. . "fwo newspapermen" i. ming ' In Smoking Room .Ts: " We are trying to keep on good terms with the by.treating-thepublic . l swim ' Why He Rings . "Daddy. what makes a man al ways give the lady he is engaged power rrtost w "Theuittinuna ring? lady, onny. Answers. fight v of them .have, assumed and that some de'sperarar o hang '0nt6 by means of threats bf contempt-of-cjipToceexttngs if fehone Challenges them. ' of 'Itrfge ;Befle Russell's1 Cossackism 4s fiasn't coniiderabie,' Sbe the slightest idea of Americanism ; she ft imbiied with- - the same idea bf government as the junkers and the late czax. ,She may pot know it, but she is busit ngagei in tearing down respect for good, wholesome American ia thit.toaJMiJdtittns.as good as another ' ." ' you going to do about it?1' and wfiat-arisn't the these tariff, or & AmerJcA's great job days fe tt'httr xniflbr. items ft is the restoration 6f Simon-Pur- e Americknlkni-a- ml the American' bench Is as. good a place aa dny to fctart; 1 EXCURSIONS . He sh6wed this to hi. mntw and she was horriHed. ''Got up In- aeeav the cried. "What a dreadful expression. Does the sun t un? To, it rues. You bust do the same." rrxt": r-- k1.. i f-r- M tU town Is dne where a man Amelia Earwig, fashion TPditor for takes great pride in beating his Provocations, haa Just designed this business rival to the postoff ice fetching little bathing suit for the every morning. ' outdoor girt. The Knit Is nf tniuiv. We men mustn't let the women C taffeta, tastily fes all the glory. After all, Samtooned with strips grab son he first human to get his of spaghetti. The hair waa bobbed. scales are for the " . us purpose of weighArt Shannon. ing the bathing suit, which, to be fashionable should never weigh leas than a two-oeTONGUE stamp nor more d than an Hugh Goodacre: ."We are a meatde. s, people; th aport of The sword Is for cranks and faddists and approtection against the ferocious min- parently are content to remain so.". nows of the Pro-v- o Bay waters. It Mrs.E.8a Choquette, nurse Decan also be used troit Board of Health: "Weather, r for buttering wutdwiuluwr and for conditions in summer make it necsticking into beach sheiks who strut essary for wives to give special up and down on the sands, but attention to the cooking for their never go In the water. husbands, as fatty foods cause Irri'. tation." . Joe Bungstarter has a new brand of moonshine that he calls "Hen" Rev.- - F. B. Bartrett, New Ybrk: "We heed higher thinking, nobler liquor. Two drinks or It and you don't sacrificing, more shepherds of the care Where you jy;-y'- lost who will brave storm and .wilderness and pestilence as did David "Mercury Drbps7f: says a head- LMhgstohe. More women like Jane line over. a weather Item. Addama who will endure everything "Well, I'm glad I didn't buy any In their, enthusiasm for world of that stock," says Ll l Gee Gee brotherhood." v brightly. up this morning at 7 o'clock; went 10 school all day till 4:30 read. 4 A ' I J 1928 Copyrithtn), A small Family Fireside Fun p. fn." - """' 1 gin: of AmerIcao XJossa'ck's don't wear guns and carry "Got -- VaTL Li'l Gee Gee is so knock-knee- d that when she dances the Charleston It soujyls like a pneumatic hammer. jThere was dnce a small My who began' a diary. His first entry be- i SCIENCE I -- -- AV Y-- W - -- a . 'r? "lonvyTXtiimc Jk ! ' r J. MMMtMM , . 1 ... - Continual dtscovery promises that, eventually, we. will know far more about our forbears than at ttMMt present.'-I- n this connection . scien ,, milk in the hamper has turned to tists consider the recent discovery JCopyright.l9),of an unusual burial ground .in the ; butter. Jlowdy folks! Nothing mak A Aleutian Islands of great import a man feel sillier than to Jump j. Today's Definition r"Home Sweet ance. up at the conclusion of a radio Home" Is when a married man A partly-ope- n song and attempt to change the tomb, built of drift doesn't knock the bridge lamp over logs,, contained four bodies, carerecord.,' when he comes In at 3 a. m. fully wrapped in sea otter skins and admirably preserved by the far " Fable: Once upon a time a man jc normern cold. The tomb waa found with a black eye didn't claim that at the tpDfhieh cliffa ruA he got It by Jumping Into a door in the dark. oniy aner. arduous effort by mem LI'L GEE GEE. TIT OFFICE - . "AWIad''1&ret.t,KreWcted -- lt--.- gray-haire- must perform stuntlToTprove' -- to industry that thejr are -- -- '' that, f the-Aleu-tian -- r- K McCracken-Sto- ll expedi tidn, which, has- - been engaged in . region. exploring - It has been - suggested that tie i bodies may be those of immigrat-- j lng JlohgoI(ans,and,JhaL theirbur- - j ial vault, far above sea level, was raised so high by volcanic, action. Further examination of the bodies and of the region may bring much V interesting data to light bers of the -- the other .fellow may have In any " way we c6n g and carry-itacf dssing it and thcnI looked - about the.; with hira a. newspaper" and park atid "saw-tl-iff benches full of ' : rather - poorly dresaed Idlers and l a handkerchief. When he "landed both newa- - again I thought of the millions tike them (ri our own beautiful and -' paperi and handkerchief were bountiful Country ' who even this year could not dry, This mad ''- a "story rprr - ' obtain employment at useful labor the papers. P. S. He got the job. " d I looked men in prosperous sitting thereat the It ia said with tired. hoDeleaa America, vigorous men of 62 iaces and I thought of the million i- jaever-though- e : that-inclin- e, jack-rabb- d -- wardi$ two-spee- . ' 4. ' I- .r'.nl' y k. biiknar ftaamuaon, editor and manager; ' two-spee- t oounty, . r' about a Socialist ball team and member .who, played better than the other wa gtvea a reward watch ti and we wondered whether .that was HVlng tip to the doctrine ol equal rtwardg for eyeryone-n- b ,"' , ,.: matter what hla Joh and Mr.' p. E. LurifordV-aaIti ;rejiy-th- a.T the dnly klricf 6t he ever Knew If the )clnd that'wbutd grant to every .man the aoe'ial ialuA of hla work ', and Mr! Lunaford goat oh:'.'- ,1' ; v y .:!... '1 Wai. stretched oui bn the gras? near a monument erected by a great western state to the dead of the home regiment In the Philip" "'-pine Vaf ""T; TIv X and as looked uj at the bronee statue of a soldier with hlr bayon- etted rifle in fighting posture X saw a rather peculiar sight there were five pigeon perched on and around the figure two on the1 rjfle one on the boy's shoulde; Jana two at his feet I glaneed - at - the - names of the dead engraved on4h side of the stone and I thought of the millions llkfsthem who have fallen in dead- cent ths month; If audi In tha county, H60 ouUlda 1 How "one Editorial telephone & t&Otfthi ytiar In advanoif I yjKiioU) ev.t; woo 7 . i , ' do not, (Hill Billy' views, Ih his dally stories, are his bwh. They, necessarily, coincide with those of tms newspaper By HILL BILLY " t This day I do a good deed. A nocks. dozen a I this gaveiialf day It might easily fcappenThat d axie, 10 certain percentage of you folks possess a fliy with a - , , you I am writing. d thfey will tell you that a fllv is always in gear with the it NOT. And when It IS NOT there is .nothing to be done about it unless you head for the nearest stump; na brakes, no kicking off the ignition, doesn;t help a Dit; pusn ootn nooja. thru the floor boards and she keeps rambling right . along; a weird sensation.' '' four years Iil. has pulledithia, stunt ion me In . i : , iM. -- - i.nt .. . - fa wpnnivpd . iMmlk(..'Ijl . LWUJC c, w.:vww wofc .ivi-ufLlie HUH UUIC A aroundja stump;.! ftng;olng.ta pry.her.off and. get her dragged. into the nearest blacksmith ship; but as a. ft I walked from LI1 to the shack lni the moonlight, hot, dusty August night, I decided that I should say d fllv axels, anS tnay- Something about these be save foi'tM bosom of his family some other worX- - jiwiunj If tS ' Head for the Stump ByWilliamjl OUT OUR WAY frTHEOBSERVER THE HERALD; fieflia C -Fd&SeA AUGUST.29, 1928. "PROVO EVENING HERAXUTWEBKESBAY, PAGE TWO j ExcursionTRateg ta-eit- her Saltair or Lagoon Resorts on Wednesdays and Sundays during July and Au-gvia "Orem Line." Fare for round trip (including admissldnr$1.35, on trains leaving Provo 9:18 a. m., 12:55, 3:55, and 5:55 p. m. Returning on trains leaving Salt Lake City 8:15 and 11 :45 p. m. same day. No half fares. Free dancing. st the Genuine Estate jl Heatrola . with . Aldon J. Anderson, Traffic Mgr. ..; Salt Lake & Utah RTRTCa j ' La yno heepi jof this. "AJSr3 WE ARE THE AUTHORIZED began a sinbker of the Fourth Katat COIRTHOCSE NEWS talking about their respective pa pers. "I see your best gag writer has left tfte stieet said one. "Yeh said the other. Tye're goAna have-- k tough time without hihuIIe's the sixth caption writer we've lost this year.' That teditor of y6urs, concluded the first speaker, "'can't in keep his wits about him'." - . man, obtained a divorce Tuesday from hla wife, Hilda Heliotrope, famous artist. Mr. Heliotrope, who Is a constant sufferer from hay fever, charged that his Wife painted pictures of golden rod YOUR ENGLISH and Scotch broom that were tro realistic he broke out bON'Tl SAT "When t was a boy (meeting every time he looked at to "I used tfetest but I grammar," them. dntested grammar. 3t PRONOUITCE -- Mobnv! as - If Hrsl law ft IS hot "gloo- Of nature, but It Is not wise to stay spelled "gloomy." n pickled, all the time, says Ralph DOTTT USE "have-- weht" when Jones.' iou mean "hive gone.-ADAGE nobularly need but often ,'. That expert who says a 'working was misquoted: "He Is a light-wad- " girl can live on $10 a week hasn't "He IS of tha family Of Jack dose- - priced a permanent wave recentlyr- e fist; Wither tor having' than 'for ig old giving," as it appears in a very The trouble with going picnictng Dutch rnym. In your flivver Is that .when you u find that the stop for AUTO REFINISIIERS ... Keep' your car looking new, Our workmen are all ex1 "Really, You'd" Think It Was a KJONV d Evert a man In tVie shop, this morning, smiled when an old reeord on the phonograph play ed "A LTttle Bit Off the Top ' Pete, tha porter, unintentionally passed thru bevei. small towns while out riding, on Suhday, because he forgoPhow io Stop his new motor ' ..' cycle. "Drt.pt.ng a few words often gets a person into trouble:" said Blondy, the niankure, whert-- 4 big diction ' ary felf on fcW toot 1 ' NEXTC1 f bald-heade- ' $150.00 IN BEAUAIFUL PRIZES Win Be Ia The . , . x Prompt, efficient service. MYSTEftY TRUNK MADS EN . Cleaning Co. 21119 North Univ. Ave. City Auto Top & Painting Co.7 PHONE 848 . 432 West Center St,7 Provo WTednesday, Aug. 29 ' i. ti A LOOK7 AT YOUR Shoe 'fl;Wli.rnrTtkM tr.4t VM Come and Try Your BBAHO tlLIS,.4-u,kl- Aiinw o4 . ANHEUSERUSCrt, ST. Rebuilders Lp,,. Eudvoinor Malt Syiup A r :. 208 West Center "Real Service" Budwelsr if Malt Syrup Improves the flavor anj Increases me nuirunenr or oread canes, cookies and doughAu . It Is sold by grocers and dealers everywhere. i r :- A.i nerve muse oe a reason frr th m r-ing sales of Budweiset Malt. YoucanV fool millions on quality and results. I .SHOES! QUALITY Glengarry III i JEveryone Else Does ... HOP FLAVORED . rLAIN V UTAH WHOLESALE CROCER CO. Locat ZZima WHOLESALE .GROCERCO, jQgdan 4 ' UtahJ!Z: W. H. BINTZ CO.v WhoUh Dittribatmrt Salt Late City, Utah. 7BM-8- f ,. fprniture heav-ic- r. woolen, auit .for "fall. Youai be delighted with its look of - newness and the dost is so little. Call .475. lunc-Vyo- j We repair and refinish is a good lime to Viet lis clean that -- The Bobbef Shop perts. te ' - FOR PROVO am .1 |