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Show PROVO EVENING HERALD, MONDAY, AUGUST 6, 1928. PAGE TWO- - .THE, .'HERALD at Published by tha HeraldOorporaUon.E. mattar Bt, rroWulr Btrl m of the United Press Utah. at tha postoff to CL Bodgera, president,aecVnd-aku- 00 Bo. 1st W. ciation, m Scrtppa Newspaper . " Telephones "?""" - By Jim Marshall asso- jama O. ''' GeUt-And-Lo- carrier in fha oounty", 45 oents the month; the year In advance; by mall la tba county, $lfi0 outalde county, ' ; eBwaisHBe"sias"saaieasaaaasBeaiss ; - v.- - held a elasst jar in Mr hands in alcohol.-- ; It was a little fish. floated fish dead a the In jar "I say," the man prattled, "have you seen this? It's afish. jnrv noover caugm iu ' sir f He caught .it with his own hajidalv? Didn't youJliy -- ,v . Hoover?" 0X f nr x "j; IT " v ' fj Ml the other ers applaud heartily : l lost. r ALU AKry; V SOS IF POCWl-T- S DlFFROMt ' , MOPE ... : lose wovudw' NOT M THeRS! 3The Eepublicairpresidential nominee scowled - and looked .bored.- - - Be fashi- on. "Yes. sir, this is the' fish to put 'it fa .a museum We'rd Hoover Mr going that caught. ' : so that posterity may see it." I ma The thru th . Hoover walked away tvjth jar. wove;, the crowd showing everybody the. fish that Hoover caught. Why is it that, we make monkeys f the great, menhom " ..-- . . we admire? fvHoover is a real'fishman. ;He likes and knows ; how to fishThis- - was revealed when he whipped the Rogue1 river. His casting was easy and accurate ancMhe fly struck: the "water with naturalness of a live insect. 7So- - far- - as sport was con-cerned the trip was a floprAs g a expedition it wasn't much betterrr Hoover apparently wasn't trying M. get votes. .He wanted to fish, but the pests and the moving ''-..-- - af?&iMKA.:i:WAK4 . yf HOW ' "' " I Ml If J1- -' I I r,-- --v- att-ord- 'fine thing to but is pretty the man .who Some folks like Tunney can make their pile comparatively rapidly while others must take a quarter of a century at It TV ,: " but there's no reason on earth why a young man with average brains shouldn't divide his life up ? ; Into three parts of learning how 'twenty years or twenty-fiv- e years bf VNrAW j Caff M01UERS CxGW- " L" 7 r PROVOCATIONS i Tha "PInta," one of Colum- bus- ships, lost herTrtidder at sea. ; 1787 First arart.or reaerai con-st I tutlon prepared to conven v tion. 1890 First electric x execution In '" New York. "v. 1913 Senate empowered thePresl- - oentr to appoint a governor of the Panama Canal Zone, 1492 ;.,:v'l7 I X ;;7 A - - - dog-catch- VI -- - . . . - f Ford's Responsibility a - .w cturcs If . e - . -- LSJiJSjn down-at-the-he- itand - sub-arti- - ail-that- , - jparty!tf ; The Bobber Shop: In the shop, this morning, Uriah Umsom, who spent hia vacation in New York, said the principal thing he learned there was that a "cover charge" doesnt cover much.-- : ' ' . Blondy, the manicure, says if mora people would wear gloves while working: In the'garden, her corner wouldn't look so much like aat talks about, things in his own lield people take everything he 7.7 ', YOUR ENGLISH ,. It is entirely possible that Henry Ford will eventnunV DO NT SAY "The boat vary near cause a realignment of our entire business and economic strucly sunk before help came." -- "Nearly ture. '. Not only has he set an example ; he has talked, and the sank" is Correct magic of his name has gained a hearing for his words that no PRONOUNCE "imbroglio" as if .other man can get' JFIis with stress on long spelled -Inquirer Is Informed. mier ne nas goner-- it may even be that some day hia state "bro,ai uun r usjg Tunny- - when you menis wau oe Datiie.,cnea. tor. the world's radicals 'That ' Actions mav is the real ADAGE popularly" used but of significance snalc . . .. . . , . ... of Ford. READ THE ETOEY, THEN COLOK THE PICTTTEE3 louaer tnan woras; yet, m this case, it would seem that what ten misquoted: The tongue Is an The member" Was all stopped" In'i still m the blaaef waa burning at i "Tha unruly Ford, says can have even more importance than what he cait no man tame; it. Is an tongue awe.- - Tlnymites "were shocked,, by I the waist and Tes- My . theotizings-willbe-remeinber- ed v : mean-strang- " : . . ' 0OC3. ' ' ' ' ...... Natural Warm Water direct from our . large Artesian well. EBCsf excavation headquarters. ' ' ' When some one asked Amarilla Amplegirth if she saw any Russian steppes while traveling abroad, she replied :V'No, we didn't go tp any of the vaduevilla shows.',' ' - ' A GAS TALK By N. L. Nelson Now that gas; is 7ffered more cheaply in Utah County - - else in;the United States, can you afford the than anywhere ' first on whether your furnace gets luxury? That depends out aH the heat- - If it dqesn't, your bill will be high, no matter how cheap the gas. It depends next on whether your furnace, utilizes all the heat so set free.If it doesn't your bill will be 7 7 777777. higher perhaps too high. ;U If you were inventing a perfect furnace, how would you that in a blacksmith's forge? get compleet,.combu3tion--lik- e Next how would you make use of all the heat set free allowing none to go up the chimney? "These two things have been done in.-- recent.fiwh-making- , inventioiv..Let mq idlyoU -about it tomorrow. Adv. 7 - - - . a els att.---Ma- i8ay'8itrur--'""V''r- V s fi'i .7 e Jini it . : -- - to-co- me ', . Dr. Gilbert Murray: "I know of a couple of pickpockets," nothing more dramatic in history smoker,'; adjusting a r ' wltbutmost cravat than that the terrific naval pro- flaming" care, gram of America should have ended "met on the street. In the. American, peace movement." ?.'WJio..waa dat bold I just seen- -youss wit?" asked ono.-r- "1 dunno,' said the other. WaJt M. Staylor, Baltimore Judge traffic court: "The time is eomlng a minit an' I'll see if .dey's a card his pocketbook.-7-- 1 when- - there will' be" a "minimum in i r - v; i - j speed law Instead of a maximum. ' ; Tha. slow-- , driver as 0-smuch of a 'menace as the speeder." BARBS G.' T. Armitage, Hawaii Tourist Bureau, Honolulu, v visitor:' "W A dentist's body-wafound in are having the beat summer tourist a spot in the woods in Ohio. season in ' the history of Hawaii. Welonely knew something like that was Tourists, too, now stay with us an .to happen some day. average of 20 days, whereas their going limit of a few years' ago was a Tha slats of Senator Heffltl's bed week.77 in a hotel at Asbury Park, N. J., . fy collapsed the other night and the senator fell through. That's once the SCIENCE senator got the floor, anyway. A. party of Canadian engineers Maybe the actors were barred and geologists has just left Hall-fa- x for Hudson Bay and points from the exclusive beach at New-po- rt because it was feared there north. Objeot: tha discovery of Iwere some bad actors among them. c new mineral fields In the region. ' Method: airplane 'explora A writer of newspaper features tion over a wide range Of territory. The northern1 visitors have onhCjIe8 Charlie Curtis "a very hu- board their special ship four planes ian fellow." Sure You have to equipped with both pontoons for be human to run for vice president water landings and skiis for snow or ice landings! ' They plan- to esA headline says: "TJ. S. and Brittablish a movable base on Hudson ain Neck and Neck In Race for Bay,i froia - whance exploration Air SupeeioeityAa friendly as ' be made over the un ehT rV-r-flights will 3 packed ' wilderness. Promising regions, discovered from the air. will be more carefully examined by --.w ' a landinar oartv."' Nothing Added to The explorers plan to sojourn in the wilds for a full two years. When they emerge, they hope to have located enough 'mineral wealth to eventually make fortunes for the whole Pool but 75 gallons per 7 minute of 98 Pure I t . At GIST 7 tyW Family Fireside Fun - Room In -"A Smoking: nr said : This Date in Qui J American History sW . U' . ,. a.RWiLLiAMs "" .v., :" I Sr j " long-finger- n't l 1 TIP OF TONGUE " - 'f.;.. '' " ' . does It the way to live Is to do what . Tunney has done: , make your pile' and then quit and let somebody else have a chance at the game im ng lin' . Ll'I Gee Gee says the differHowdy, folks! This must bo pay- " ' getting ence between an automobile and bill collector lurking see a We dy. and the rest of the time In loaf- In the haU -7chewing gum la that you never-ha- ve way! ' and ing and seeing the world ' any trouble finding a place enjoying himself;: to park your chewing gum. 7 a man has Poker After Note; y ?nsat up all night trying to draw : ' Mr. Tunney .,,7,f' by retiring r to ' inside :"straIghta,nothing makes a lot of work for young 'boJoe that Bungstarter says' makes him madder than to hear xerswho will be employed by Mr. what this country taeeda la bot- a cuckoo clock says "Cuckoo! picture camera Ktcksra and- - others at swatting tle caps mad of rubber' that Cuckoo!": t let him. , They pursued him each other to discover who shall wOn't scratch the enamel when be the heavyweight champion 7you pull them off with your teeth. up and down stream,' the cam- ; : and in the same way mem BREEZY COMEDY eras grinding and the pests bers of tha I LOCAL : : BOLTS b1 clu"MAGND7ICENT. i v GIRL i FLIRT -. : K on 7.-.un-uia back oxi-iof flivver Sign aiui teiuns ; (y: aim when they retire will leave Jobs j DEMOCRATIC I open for younger folks who will JjtSP m H PARTY! Vl Sii iwj m u mm v ; need them A CADILLAC " MAY RUN world that Mr. Hoover was a grand fishermanj ' SMOOTH BUT THIS IS BET-Teaste Jellybean, The tradition that no man may be president who does not orAND, LISTEN: About 20 per cent ' to fight iirea when TEB STILL. Knowing local stenographknow how to fish was started by Grove? Cleveland. He was ana the other 80 per cent's know . toannounced er, t fisherman.' . j real . a ingwhen to quit. . . day that she had . Calvin Coolidge isn't and never will be a fisherman,;yet I 7 Fairy Tale: Once upon a time conall severed recall a moving picture showing hint m the Black Hills a year a man's radio set worked all nections with, the, ago. returning from a fishing trip." The picture showed Mrs. the night he asked his Democratic party,, right friends lo tome ove and hear" Coolidge crossing, a lawnrhoiding two beautiful wolf, hounds due to its failure It r -- out W.leashw A ?edanapprQached. and. stoppedJhe president .?llh?t WjEdwardI" s .ask,; ag" gressively for a stepped out to show his wife has catch. One small fish I He ed, as a man's voice answered the law "Speaking," he replied "That compelling wore a frock coat, plug hat and Bpats. He held the Csll.be- - call; Maud?"" hotels to provide I WHO'S WHO IN ". tween thumb and, finger,', by you, "Yes. 'You remember I told you beda with spare posts sa that gum POLITICS , . me taji, gingeny.f. fua puiab' last night, that 7 on no- account wUl stick to them better. . ed hose was twisted in an ex would you be permitted to enter This la Oswald '' ..Joe Bungstarter doesn't pression of distaste, as if the our house again? Horaeiadial: J. eaet-dt-f hi ! ew forget H?" i ish ha6T already 'begarf to. "Shaft but he says he is cer- " who seeks to txv wa have decided to move, - M marriage, 'Well, . putrny. Mrs. wxiwge aa- - and I thought you might like to tain is must have been April the come Florence Vidor. in mired. It was a ridiculous know our new address." Liverpool First, of some year. The Magnificent Flirt M Neat1 of Crow's a: x ' i ' iS ii. a Paramount Picturs , Mercury. .j iu saw tmaAX si V Utah, Mr, Horse 2 Following closely on the heels a rwr ry wiiIi.iiTaii. radish Is said to A31EKICANA ENCYCLOPEDIA i THE STARTER of two successful starring vehicles, ; .uooiiage is be the only can- ,E v "TLA- sbn signuiea "Have you heard the story that's f Banquet: An ordinary meal 'Honeymoon Hate" and "Dooms 1 man. bo i HMvexv So, lor servare olives and where r dldate for a celery politigoing around about Eunice?" iJatest Para- day, Florence-Vido' ed Cnwith in cal the Job soup. that jnattes. is. the , maiv who ""Heard It? why, honey I started mount production, "The Magnifi 4 .; ted States who cent Flirt' comes to the Paramount trouea naicuiousiy about Bhowmg people a iead fishrin a it" American Legion Monthly. SHAVETY FIRST .'J.'.. haa aver given, a theater Wednesday and Thursday. He-i- s tall jar.- - That is, ordinarily he is. a dignified-mafrank and honeat "The Magnificent Flirt Is de and straight, altho elderly. 1 do not know what business he "A CONSOLING HIM reason for solicit ;afe1Yujeei1 scribed as a breezy comedy savoring month ago my wife left me is in down in California, but I, do- kno.w he ia one qfsthivre without aay reason."" - ing the votes of the peoplai "Tm of French farce and shows Miss Vitired of working," says Mr. Horse-- , dor in the role of a confirmed flirt. "I felt sure some one had left gents oi oianiora university. 7 777777: radish. I am running for public of- About here proclivities you without it" Everybody" fice so I eaa get someone ta sup is woven a string of amusing ad " me." the climax port ventures, being reached BOY KNOWS ' when an admirer accuses her of be 7 said Miss "Now, to Johnny," ; Eppis, It's easy enough be pleasant , Henry Ford has always been a man with original ideas, ing unladylike: He puts her to a test And now for a Jolly game of "where wer hair brushes first When life flown along iuU of cheer; He put into effect a $5 -a - day. minimum pay scale at-and loses out, much to the satisp Flxlt! used?" mumbclty-peMr, vltlx . , tha man worth while faction of his nephew, who loves time when that was a princely wage, He fol Towed that up by 'Oh, teacher," said Johnny bash ..But Is the man who eaa smile Miss Vidor's daughter. 'u .... ART SHANNON. r announcing that the way money was to pay as high fully, "rd rather not ten." Judge. Whoa he cuts three nicka bi his ear! Jwages as possible and scll as cheaply as possible, thus re Tlnles see that I wilt shortly burn. maxims, of the business .world, TJiea he versing two age-ol- d to pieces if you don't make haste?" 1 11 .1 NATURELAND Mi. weeK, Oh, my! Oh,, me! Oh, me! aoopiea me iive-aa- y Oh, my!" The Tinymltea heard "V Now he says that the money he made by selling 15,000,-00- 0 Scouty cry. "Our wooden i man Lest spring, Eswell Kemp. Model T Fords wasn't really his money at all but belonged has fallen in our fire. He's burn. cocum Pt was kmck CTonrrr haju florist, employed to the people. He didn t lose money when he stopped produc Washington ing fast'Where Is some' water? of a. low hill beautify one-sidturn to develop a hew model, he said: he simply reinvested a td Get a pail!" But this plan was to no to tha Washington monu leading-avail. They couldn't find a pail ment- He put In about 500 plants. Burplus of funds that he had been holding in trust nearby. My, how long would this ' in uniform They grew 'precisely 7 we hiade on our. Model T cara wasn't our The profits ,; , last? site; eame Into bloom simultaneous . money," he remarks. "The public paid it to us. Organized ly, la July, and the flowers formed Then .Clowny had a happy is, we couldn't do anything with, except a huge American flag ho. which , as this company thought Said he, "Come on! 1 think we ought to do our best to every floret of tha bluea and reds ke a better automobile rescue him.., Imagine aU that, heat! to shada.. Bwaot aae41y-y-It is interestinrto ponder on the weight which success wera J Let's drag hint out - across t the alyssunt were used f ortka white and great wealth give to a man's words. SupposeNsome ground .where we know he'll be safe strlpea altemanthea for tha red and sound.- - If we all help, we'll scribhler. had T)ronound- - stripes and lobelia for the blue agitator, or long-haire- d do it by just pulling on his feet' example of ed this theory. He would have been hooted from one end of stara It was a perfect so the Tiniest brave and the florists, art in tha use of n . And ! .the : country to another. But Henry Ford, who is.worth one tha florists' art In the use of na. bold, rushed wildly" up and grabbed a hold, "Now pull!" exclaimed Wee vmiironriir casn and nas two or three hundred, thousand men 1 Tha company- - that advertises iU Coppy. "Full real hard, -- with- all lumr says lor hoots at nobody working milk "from contented eowa" might your might" It took brava Coppy question nis statemenvoi course; "but they do It defercftially, learn something about real cow to inspire the bunch to pull htm ' :v, 7 '; respectfully. from the- - fire. The wooden man coddling from the peasants of In that respect, perhaps, more than in anv other. Ford Bavaria-- It is the custom in that cried, "Thank you! My, but I'm ta dress up tha cows, on an awful sight has a tremendous respqn9ibility.lBeside it the responsibility country "Now-do- n't fete days. In head pieces. wits you worry," . Carpy t that comes from the mere ownership of, vast wealth shrinks decorations Christmas said. "The hot flames - did 'not - to nothing. Ford's ideas idea that, find expression ia such trees, on theirresembling back a The belief is touch; 7your head. 7; In fact your .remarks as. those quoted above ere bound to hare a greater that bossybelng a female of ihe body is tba only think that's burnwill be so contented with ed a bit. ' I'll tell you what we'll do , influence than he himself can dream. For millions of men species, her bonnet and dress that she'U for you. We'll make your body all in this country accept thenr aa gospel Ford is the greatest give, more milk., brand new. 7 As soon aa we have industrialist of our timei is it to be wondered that when lie done that, you'll again be looking " men-would- I i. I . ; vote-gettin- I restda arena in the hllla aa average - i foolish "tradittonTn Unas of 4Jfe- that a a man ought to keep on going until " He darn miserable for Mr. Hoover .is.' i r 7'" ''": whfch on of five days a week, yet I associate more closely and more frequently with the family than the majority of husbands and fathers. Sometimes I stay in town for a week and watch how family relations work out, ana my experience is that the average father doesn't associate with hia children an aver age of 15 minutes a aay. children hasten In the morning it la a hurried, breakfast and-th- e to school; at noon a hasty lunch, with dad downtown; after school tha boy Is playing, blocks away, with his pals, and the girl is either attending some high school social function, or else is in her room studying; at dark son comes In, reads the evening funny paper, yawns.: brushes his , teeth, slips into his nightie, kisses pop and .mom good night and retires; later, daughter emerges from her books, yawns kisses mom, and pop and also retires: Day after day It Is Hka that; I could live in- town constantly and--' not have a chance to pal with the children half aw hour a week, unless I made the: opportunity. ' cv I "But, living alone five days a week, I scheme A f things out; I go to town eager to snatch a few hours with tha children: also I coma with a certain glamor. MKuirlMwka..-;ham rnnnit unHrr font all waak lull a 11 v ' utJj Elixir I hav a tew packets of stamps for son and a new Cook of music fof daughter,' and for two days mom and pop and son and daughter- - Just' play arouhd, and we 'go to shows, and explore with tne flivver, and' eat in noodle' places, and do all manner of foolish things rT get i," great kick out of my family, and tha family appears to consider me more as ajguest than aa - merely a piece of-- useful, but unornate furnlture.7" " :' And because the children do not have me at hand all the time to learn my every mood, and fathom by last cerebral reaction, my oc caslotial word of admonition: or of advice, opines with added authority: I also strive to promote this by very seldom giving merely eugestions, casual advice; maybe tell: a little story about what hap pened to me when I vaa a kid; yet these "causual, impersonal Mmarka other men's' loud, ravinga at appear to exercise mora restraintthan . t 7 their children. 7Hr: And, ster all these years, the -wife-and I get a UriU funoutor running away ly ourselves and playing sweethearts together absence t ; ; :V-7': ',; j 77 ptTiaritrapepaL Although: i ' itin a masterful By HILL BILLY . ood-ma- ay- - - played . the nerve to stay until he's licked" ' we1 supwe said "Well pose you love shoveling out sugar and salt over your gTocery counter aund iatend to keep on shoveling them out until yours licked so that they cant gather around your bier and say that you died game": J.: and that sort of a funeral may be comforting to the relatives but Jtdoesn cheer'"' up thejeorpse x V any"" he's knocked out' a may rcontinued. "tsawj htnrdo- it," thepest a tombstone write VHe a greaFfisl airman, . I A man said to us today1 ?Well Tunney never enjoyed the boxing game and now he's, going, to- - quit while he's safe and he doesn't have AreTiOlinTOtetemait .... (Hill Billy's views, in his dally stories, are his own. They do not, necessarily, coincide with those of this newspaper. EDITOR.) - i r Slaves (o Tradition i ;f til - which decision N. QunnarJUsmuapjH;aiVor and uaneger R.W. Goad"11 managing, editor; N. C. Hicks, county editor; S. A. Owenev advertising manager. ; m af - learn what he can aaaaaaMasa , -- DOULAR . Thii column of cheer welcomes member in good Gene Tunney . standing of the : club for Mr, Tunney nas been some time engaged In flinging the hofseh Idesor whatever it is box-in- g and now gloves are made of having" amassed' sufficient kai'ei he is wisely going to.,retire -and have a look at the world and : - W mmwmmmmmmmm rvwENMW Appealing Absence V , ; -- SubscrlpUon 15.00. By Williams . BLL VOO wAaKA'.in;? &iMkAEr .,(.weuuw A -- f mammmmmm Business office, W; Society reporter, 107; Editorial before p. ra, talephoae room, 1208.' If you do not rocelvs your 7 7" 7 85 and a copy will be deUveredto yojur residence, $5.00 ; s Member Editorial Benrloe, and tba ice Provo, Service, Palo QUT OUR WAY- - THE OBSERVER evil," a it 4a written In unruly James Ill-f- c they what they saw. The,"Wooden ifian, j ca ' t." 11 They smoothed a log that seem ed too rough, and sawed it down Just long enough. The wooden man looked on and said, "Oh gee, win that be mine?" One Tiny answered. "Sure it will! This body ought to bring a thrill!' And then It - didn't - take them lon- g- to fix tne tnan up fine. fc.X. ...4 ft J "- - ' ' a scare - - College courses these days seem "Hey, Hurray up to include not ,on)y Greek, but ha shoutedme," j'aa't you little Scotch. . I 1 sar j space in tiiS: pmfits 1 (A Tiger glveo the Tlnles ' in the next story.) 1 .Killmm i .Jsf ' ' ' ' - - sa - 6 ... A. J I ir |