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Show mOVO EVENING HERALD, WEDNESDAY. MARCH 14. ' By Willisas UUtt , .BOARDING THE HERAtP Jitnii lili jKiitUatol hy Ahe Cerpoatiov & Jtv&artTpreiMeot at second-clasmatter 60 So. let W. St, Provo, Utah, daily. Enured at the poetoffice la provo, Utah. Member of the L'niUd Press association, KEA Service, Paine Editorial Service, and the James it s - . J a .1. r. i T HtM Ir Business effWe, 5; Society reporter, 107; Editorial Telephone II 1 7 I I room, IX. U you 4e not receive your paper before I p. in, telephone X I 11 By earlier Ml the county, 46 cents the month; 13.00 the year In advance; by mall in the county, $4.50 outside county, SubeoripUoa Urnn P".ne Raamuson, editor and managerJt. W. OoodeU, managing editor; N. C. Hicks, county editor; Jeaae Clerk, advertising I I 1 It I -- -- 1 iVf RABV- - --f! V Rrtficn L . 'T- i- 1 . v ,r 7 '"jf, rvr . y ll Willi Mi l I iiU wwty Jv-BESii?s 111 i.-fAL- f?VVRYi.K CZS Ty - . - f MAEP 0" Msfi' WiM i -h-- i! I r voJ pq is srr t5 - IF VOU WHRg RoUiiV!1; f TvUlMS , TP USE "j ' . .Ml A5 SOOK fcMW;" 1 1 HOUSE mc Pfliav-uiiU- A " 77.'.: T' f If I K 1 Si M A VigEKT REP A4 BLOB' rS u iv' T M Mews! . WeM-- f ms iu LA -f Y Tob SoMetiM rvwNw uv wc-u- 1 M -- To -- frl ' v STReef is G&fs Map He'll, ro virtu a rt ui Tbu r jVrvUiPLe!- iL"! - HOVdLS A4 A LlMPf TTriV Bowed In "v" Ford. a 1 .I, HE DOES Do w - I 1 ;irn nST X I- tMCRW-miV- ;J i , t 1 am a Republican because ' if I was bora one,"; sayi Mr. Also, a mule is a raul bcaua1iorn fiiit..Oiiljr.Jn the case of a mule, the peculiarities' is its parentage preclude its ever being; anything save a mule; and. for some reason, nature prohibits its producing: its kind. Nature wisely pro vided that Mr. Ford should not remain as corn, jusi corn, like a mule. He didn't become, a treat inventor through hpinr content kh merely bemg born to' certain parents. He proceeded to improve upon his parentage and has always .been dbcontenTM"FrartIie status quo, sire, It appears, as - 'Jt- - ry. j t ......,--.- . to politic, There is no strain upon a jnan's mentality, character, or patriotism in being a Republican, or a Democrat, or a What-i- s it because born cne. In the Chicago slaughter .- - - JLyailS-sn-aa- v chutes to the slaughterer's presence, turning away, himself, beforr-i4s"tee-4at- "U MANS lHt- - I i cut because they were borp sfieep. Should Mr; Ford study why of his being born a Republican and compare those old time reasons with those of h alterations as wouldjead: - toAav, Jimkht diacQyer-JHi- c him to consider baaing his political principles tipon- other matters thsn inheritance. However, his political attitude are is not at all anomalous. There ara many others who reason than , better no hjs for partisans WASHINGTON , TUBS- -.: ,A 7, . HM ; M l1v5t DO OH : WdlWTtffC.HH.wiww.t-- . , : L-fy- Bv Crane : I , I I . WiNK Of K GOOD MAN. X gU.V TMSOM Of COORStl CAM - vltff, Ji rf trtR tf Vin; VW SO0 C00UP &CT HM OOfl JOUV! ) rOVO-CATION- S , tSrft,--I- - Drove r f" CiRiWCiT UV.CA.9 8SKT CAPm r TMti 01HH' ' Ht VON A KNOW IN - ' ..,. .N ue for the summer. wait te see them." ' i UP I " A Hollywood producer is making film with trained oysters, which is quite a departure from the usual method of making them with train ed lobsters. te wove CAN'T op. VvA.SK fms r a f Rwttip COM? MONSt ROUS iOENCt SCHtMC Of G.i"f TrtNf An old-- f aahloned girlie Is Helen Larking: But calls It "sparking." frttl tMURt , VvOtlf? of v --.- -'-- ' C'1 yfV JVfSMANf : SAM j , The see frtCtR Otf -- : f TUmo C TVl' f ferifefl PUIM' PCWNV AMT6 (M,"TH'HUMAJJe.OfRCrlT0CD0$ We COOtOMT J5 OUR HORSe A A OCUWeRf WfVSOM BUT IHfvT OoeSWT STOP OS FR 061M' M fOfi COUecTlM See. WHAT Ya UMCte 'S r - W . mjmiTTO-moustfh- fvu? fACtvS. fin uoij ( WITH HE. CAM SCRATCH UP SOrAfe CHrNUGE FOR H C I ..' DR0NCHIT1S At bedtime rob the ihroatand Another gink we can do without tT is the practical Joker who seta fire lafy to the bottom of the newspaper we are reading. ZJ MrX rf IWtsir Satisfactory "Kae J "You can talk about your poorly heated hotels and lack of bedding. nit I had the climax experience," This" smoker shivered, to think of went to a hotel and I was very tired. I climbed into bed early. It grew colder and colder and it n this Was Impossible to sleep room with so little heat and! bed lothlng. I arose, put on all of my lothcs, went to the of.'lce and put rae coal in the stove and hugged t for dear life. Just as I was com ing to and warming up, a man with a beard all covered with cicles came in. He also shook sev eral pounds of snow from his coat. This was. too much for me and 1 asked- - him. " Gosh, mister! Which room did vou have?"" Art Shannon. YOUR ENGLISH -Don't but say "No one else I me". "Else" Is superfluous, Pronounca "homage" as If spelled "om-aj- " with stress on "om." Don't use "endways", when you ' mean "endwise"! , Adage popularly used but often misquited: "Kisses the hand that smote him" was "And licks the hand Just raised to shed his blood," as Pope wrote rt, In his "Essay en Man." - ". ' ,. . hillside Hippo Pete Is thoroughly Boyd V. Evans, Michigan Con (rood natured and be loves food. sulting Engineer: "To many pro- Jimmy always has a bag of peafessional men, myself among them. nuts to throw Into his cavern, one attain newspapers are like a nut at a time, while slater prowith an ugly hull. To get nt the vides herself with a hamMary sandwich V Ml. Or4TVAT GET 50MTH(MG FAMCt V6ST MR. GWLCM SOCP Vf? ) 56AJ TXeR6'S If t . ewouHC a . A:" II ALL A.T- Tft' . "V 1 ' , MONARCH RANGE GET IT NOW! Stomach Troubles Headache and Dizmess.3 1 J t .If your stomach 1 w ..if is sick, yon are sick all over. U ypn can't digest your food, you foe strength, get nervous and feel as tired when you get up as when you went to bed. nancial page of surh papers I for the same 'purpose. There la always an awed crowd la front of For 10 years Teniae has restored the front pages' r;ithi their aord'i Peter'i cage to see his to health and activity many thoustories of slayi-.- g " and worthless feats of food consumption. gigantic sands who suffered'just as yon da men and women." Mr, Albert A. Eooke.'of IB30 W. Hih Calif., George W. Smith, director Mark "for 6 years 1 could 4rd!y aay: Hcpktns Hotel: "San Francisco is work I goffered so from stomach 'Ae greatest hotel city jn America. But Tanlac rrcent survey found that San "Say, old man," volunteered the and liver trouble. franciaco has about 2900 first class gossipy neighbor acroa Uae street, built up my strength and made my hotel rooms." - " "I really think you should know stomach and liver work fine.1 lnW-T-fm- r Yotrwit st ' lt TonTefrxor your office ...is morning I saw a strange did for this sufferer. It corrects the WIFE OLTLTT most obstinate digestive troubles-relie- ves we were married you rann call at the house." used to ey there wasn't another gas, pains tn the stomach "Oh, my God!" cried the newly-weroan like me In the world." in dismay. "As sure as thun- and bowels. It restores appetite, . . "I know.;,, and now I should hate der that vnmu 1ms hmirht Mm, rigor and. sound sleep. Tanlac made of else on think there was." is French j thing the installment plan!" roots,' barks Humor. and herbs. The cost is less tban Legioaj Monthly,. 2 rents a dose. Get a botti from your droggirt today. Your money back if It doesn't help you. mb frequently inclined to tear Off - 50UP STAlMSl ) m .eek I thvt .ANY. , N ATUREIiAND H I 3ggiMHir,l&.Kifriigiiani,"- 1 . DOWN- DELIVERS Z , TIP OF COULD y Vaporub A fortune awaits the man who Invents a method by which gum stuck on a bedpost overnight can absorb new flavor from the air. - When In need of diversion, New York people go up to the Bronx Zoo to see Peter the Great take his food; Peter is a two-to- n hippo TONGUE and whether it is a bale of bay or a peanut that comes to him, the Sandino: "There may be bandits opening of his .mouth resembles Nicaragua, but they are not one. of those steam shovels when - The boycott chest thoroughly with born it up. In Smokinsr Room By Swan y U5 W t this icelbutlt highway .wih ' Uij'inew piano! , 1 ' confes-sion- -- - Today's Candidate for the Poison 1 iA7 i can-hardl- . MVKt1. Its ' In Iowa, They say they are mot- -j ring out to vixlt name. trf 0UT "lenrTier hfehway hum pf blocks of ice has heen ln use la Ruasla during the past winter, togging operaIn tions an out of the way wilder. Bess aupptiea Uniber which had to be transported over several miles of swampland. The road of ice was made for this purpose. Lumber sleighs eould be pulled over comparative eas and horses were ed to draw many thnea their own weight In timber. Not only wn Why doesn't someone write thrilling story about a cowboy time saved but fewer horse were cauitht in a sumpede of animal needed and even the was cut down, after the road was built The cost of 7 ' logging says marrlftgf d XWWlirtit Miitytntnei Into Ihii M feet of Umber was carried over the gray hair, bills, and rolling pins. unique highway during the three months it An egotist la a man who thinks was In una. the circulation . of the' telephone book doubles when . It print his I pon THE COWS HfSBANO " "I have jut a letter from the relatives ,tWS,MC-- "' II ' man. SIDE GLANCES - By George Clark 1 bead! o , uee uee cornea to workTiko a policeman, and leavei like a i The House approves $2BS",00Q for anny aFiati'oBrProK ably, it is too late to recant on the reprimand of Col. "Billy'' Mitchell But, speak up, "Billy"! j' , ftM-wh- Another awful liar It litUe WlUle Fanno; lie says he loves to practice I L-- has cleaned In Seattle's rpvpti other candidates, mostly he ones.. Rah for Ma Landes! "' Bail la rrandpop'e -- magazine. ' - eltiV in the- sweetie's love letters. to . . primaries, Mrs. Mayor Landea f ry Naughty boy, Put him to bed, prayer will lead Chicago out of her Maybe a "wilderness of crime" ; but, it usually takes forty years to get "r"" ..out of a wilderness. ; week of rrr"i"r' cojrtf;M, iwstrzr-t- - - Howdy, folks! If we only knpvr who would win th etate tuunpkmMhlp kt thd batdu-tbal- l tourney, w mijht win m dime. t A " CWT MOW. Now, just why did the "Harding campaign committee $100,000 back to Sinclair? Nothing at all regular in it. ! ..i : , ; I.'J ii C.iee SCIENCE VBitSS Otwervatidhs give r err. MT . 1 1 fctPfcRHC6P I MISTAKE. Fireside Fun Family : . 1 i '"vr-- VAm in , Tit . '6: I The-Bobbe- - Uet rsrarayijj.tTtetre Br Shop Pete, the porter, Is teaching hia dog some tricks. He places a bone in a corner and puts his watch under the dog's nose, and right away the dog knows it is time to - tiOen Hiindty and forrael Jamer la the Mruaoum Ptcture itcxi. tevc A Karl Brown Production - At r . with VaMOvate Taalfht '' cat. rrr Bwia.'t.il,-- Everybody .In the r.iop laughed, thl morning, when, after an auto ha! been honking for 10 minutes, Elondy, the manicure exclaimed: "Gee! That makes a noise like my sweetie." 'Prof. Diggendelve, who knows nearly everything, has come to the opinion that most of the moving Wee bathing girl '.,- picture-TOTrrpant- j c!eW-"JSeaI- -- and back stage productions, because changes In everyday street costumes make the pictures go out of atyle so oon NEXT! "You have a splendid cook. The food was delicious." "She's the cook you discharged last weeir?I told her you were com-- f UetroR Kewa. T FREE! DISHES DINNER SET GIVEN FREE WITH EACH MONARCH RANGE AT CO. V 42-PIEC- K 51 MILLION BOTTLES CHICHfSJERS E D-T-- K. " D II aj M u f- -w lnn bow. T".rf TOT Dnmmm. iS ii&Aa USED FiU3 mm Mi V tm 'lu.ii.i.ifW m . |