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Show Learn a new language in private-- at home and gain ASH and confldenoe before you speak In front of others Nothing Fits Like a Glove Not Even a Glove j andlSnsIlvnMakinrvouiwJf. ara ao 4ry grammar -rules vocabulary lists to TT ATI TOD bean hold in n bfnm lenln you'r$ Tbr or afor- - eign language because airaid of malting embarrass- - memorize. And because you learn at home, you can set daai? as your own Now there la a way you long aa you wish to practice can master a language right and sharpen your skill. in your own home developThousands of students, ing confidence and skill in travelers, teachers and busiprivate before you actually nessmen have already mastered other languages this peak with others. " This personal way of Learn natural way many ing a language is dearibed in as little aa 10 to 12 weeks. for you in detail in a If you want to know more booklet published by the about this remarkable methlinguaphone Institute. The od, and the 32 language booklet tells bow. with the Linguaphone teaches, the Linguaphone method, you Institute will send you a copy can "soak up" another of it illustrated booklet the same natural way without charge. Just mail the you learned your own first coupon below. Please be sure to specify the language you by hearing the sounds, understanding what they mean, wantio learn. inf miatakea in front of pace-takin- g By JANE GOODSELL print your name and t) lease address," it sayff orrthecW pon, and I wish I could. I'd really like to send for the lovely silver-plate- d 24-pa- ge lan-gua- cake server in my cbouof patterns. But I never will. I have the two box tops I need, and I could probably find 25 cents in coin to cover mailing costs.' What I can't do is ge print my name and address on that coupon. Print it? Even if I did it in shorthand, I couldn't squeeze my name onto a dotted line that's only this long. I can't fasten the little silk strap that's ' 4)t FW LmraaphetM IasOtate, 80 Rockefeller Plata, New York, N.Y. 10020 Please send ms your free booklet. I ass antereatad in learning Name. Addreea. Citya - Stole - Tip I '. ri. f II Vallli If hands and - knuckies get so dry and cracked that nothing seems to help, try this simple treatment. Each night at bedtime, massage a dab of Cuti-cur- a Ointment into the skin. Next morning, wash thoroughly with Cuticura medicated soap. . You'll be amazed how quickly your skin be comes soft and Eli enwitH gey tlie to in fori sd ntaatlw a m vast asaaseaJMS Mas) Sw MOTHCBS FSICMO flagla daTV tnttsl Mft (Fast MaPB OIHTWMT- r - VJ0:.1E0FTG HAVE RACDQI ESITATIKI Kidney or Bladder Irritations affect twice as many women as men, often causinc tenseness and nervousneai from frequent, burning. Itching urination. Secondarily, you may loae sleep and have Headache. Backaches and fed older, tired, In such eases. CYST EX usually brings relaxing comfort by curbing germs In arid urine, and easing pain. Get CYST EX at druggists today. Common tiOTHCTranjssss"n tf eSSCSS 9M0 SSIOS4II tSJSt S)'asWSSlllllWllllllM J as Dm Counkm. Aok tor X wiwiTriiia, a . 1 St Worry of FALSE TEETH Slipping or Irritat fag? ... PHOTO CREDITS age 2i CSSi NBC; lotion HtroU. fag 4i Alfred Kaufmann Wytlec Paps It U. 1 Navy. far FPGj D Page 15i United Fund, Canton, Ohio. Pent be ambarrsssml by loose fajae teeth slipping, dropping or wobbling .when you eat, tela: or laugh. Just sprinkle a Uttta FASTKKTH on your plates. This plea nt powder gives a remarkable sense of added comfort and security by holding plates more firmly. No rummy, gooey, pasty taata. Dentures that fit are sssentlsl to health. Bee your dentist regularly. Oct FA8TKSTH at all drug counters. As a matter of fact, I figured it out myself that last time I had to trim the edges' of my driver's license to make it fit By using a tape measure, I learned that the card was exactly Math of an inch larger than the compartment it was supposed ' to fit into Am I the only person in the country who's got a tape measure? Obviously, the manufacturers of ette telephone-boo- k covers dont have one although, actually, they don't need a tape measure. What they need is a telephone, directory, and someone with the patience of a saint to try to fit it into one of their covers. I wish I could be there to watch him try. And try. Oh, I won't say it's impossible. To be honest, I've accomplished it by myself. But my struggle took a lot out of me, and it also took quite a bit out of the directory about a third of the yellow section and several pages of Ws. The wiener-bu- n discrepancy is slightly different but no less perplexing a prob- -, lem. Is there some reason why the hot dog industry and bun manufacturers can't get together and resolve their differences? Why can't they make wieners ss long as buns, or buns as short , as wieners ? If either side would budge an inch (or if h both would make a adjustment), the problem would be solved. I sometimes doubt that there is such a thing as a perfect fit No, I take that back. A perfect fit is what I throw myself into when I'm driven to distraction by the endless unfitness of things. If a cork doesn't slip through the neck of the bottle to be irretrievably lost in the wine because it's too small, it's simply too big to fit into the bottle at all, once it has been removed. The same principle applies to buttons and buttonholes, candles and candlesticks. Not to mention nuts and bolts and stoppers and drains. Have yow ever attempted to cram overnight essentials into an overnight bag? Or two suits into a piece of m i- ai iuxKAxe : bver iineuJ to jam we i lnaer- toys back into the Tinkertoy box? Okay, so they came neatly packed in it, but that proves nothing. Obviously that box isn't wis cuuugu m uwu su uhwc jncuco. The fact is that nothing fits like a glove What drives me to despair isn't the clearly impossible feat, such as maneuvericar into a ng- a parking space. I know that won't work, however much assistance I may get from bystanders who shout, "Cut your wheels, ladyC.-Morto the left and cut your wheels!" But I do have certain little illusions, and: one is that a 12x15 rug-- is larger than aa rug pad. It's mathematically impossible for the pad to peep out on all "four sides of the rug. Yet there it is, not only peeping out but even curling up. I expect a 750x14 tire chain to fit a 750x14 tire. I remember the time my husband was lying on his back in a snowdrift, raging at his chains like Prometheus Bound, and I asked him, "They're the right sire, aren't they?" I've never found out the answer to this question, but I now know better than to ask Another of my fantasies is that I expect my driver's license to fit neatly into the compartment of my wal-Undaunted by my prelet for f designed vious disenchantment, I persist in believ-in- g that this time my license will slip right in, smooth as silk, and lie fiat And why shouldn't it? Whenyou consider The""" 'Including a glove. number of people who can design nuclear There must be some malevolent force in submarines and compute the trajectories the universe that prevents things from fitof missiles, wouldn't you think that someting the way, they logically should. And could card how make to out a that probably explains why my last year's body figure fit into a card compartment? swimsuit is too tight too-bi- Cflt riiLUkiUUJUl , and swear. Dry nnrnrinnra, Pll flWVll II II II II supposed to encircle my umbrella to keep it dosed, either. It's too little. That is, the strap is too little, or maybe the umbrella ty is too big. It wonU fit into its tubular sheath cover. I seem to spend a good part of my day battling with incompatible spatial relationships the problem being that too much won't fit into too little, no matter wrd4iyrOrryrOrTrnTTffly66f Sleep Away ff Nil Author ef WOiwy Oo Two Hondt ond I'm Suy Wringing Then" - 'too-sma- g- ll half-inc- Uxl4 it two-suit- er 1 see-throu- it uu Fimil) Wttkln, October tt, 1997 mi |