OCR Text |
Show DAILY Sunday, March 11, 2007 a HERALD TODAY IN HISTORY WARNING: SOME MATERIAL NOT SUITABLE FOR SERIOUS PEOPLE Mind your P's and Q's and tea This classic DAVE BARRY column was originally published Feb. 15, 1998. told me that a medical journal recently had reported that "people with beautiful manners don't get colds." As she explained it, "It's the immune system that's affected. It drains out, and they don't get colds!" I asked her what she thought of the movie "Titanic." "It was a great etiquette les- making my turn way too early; I also tend to saw the food, rather than stroke it. Knife and fork usage turns if out to be an extremely complex topic. The main thing to remember is: Whatever way you're doing it now, it's wrong. At the end of our High Tea, Larry Kenny, the chef who had son," she said. prepared our sandwiches, came I asked her how she handles out to see how everything was. rude motorists. We got to talking, and Larry "If they give you a bad signal told us that he also plays blues harmonica, and he's trying to you know, that naughty market a pilot TV show called thing they do you just blow them a kiss and drive on," she "Larry Kenny's Rock 'n Roll said. Kitchen." The idea is that each "I don't think in Miami you week he would have guest muMiami. When I arrived, Marsicians perform songs and preshould blow them a kiss," objabelle was busily instructing served Dorel. the staff on how to set up the pare their favorite dishes. ("On I asked Marjabelle what she table. The key ingredient turns today's show, Ozzy Osbourne will show us how to make out to be doilies. I estimate that thought was the biggest problem facing the natioa Roast Head of Bat.") there were 300 doilies of vari"I still think it's the way we ous sizes deployed on the table, Marjabelle, who thinks underneath a vast array of tea- hold the knife and fork," she pretty much everything is wonderful, said she thought this pots, little plates, cups, saucers said, and she was not kidding. She gave me a detailed lesson, and spoons. concept was wonderful. So do and I found that I have many For all I know, Marjabelle I; if you are a TV producer, I was also sitting on a doily, urge you to contact Larry and problems with my technique. although, of course, I was too Among other things, I've been take him to lunch. Make sure there are plenty of doilies. polite to ask. using the shovel method, and Marjabelle introduced me to her friend, Dorel Eaton, and we chatted about Miami. Marjabelle said Miami had come "pretty close" to making her took part in which is a British type of light meal involving a large quantity of etiquette. Generally, I do not get involved with any level of tea, even Low Tea. Generally, when I am in the market for an afternoon beverage ritual, the one I select I Recently,Tea, Dave Barry is Gold Beer. But in this case I had High Tea, because I was invited by famous etiquette expert Marjabelle Young Stewart, who is on a lifelong crusade to get Americans to use good table manners and, for God's sake, take off their baseball caps indoors. She had come to Miami to promote her book, "The New Etiquette" (St. Martin's Press). I got to know Marjabelle in 1989, when she released her annual survey listing the Top e Ten Cities, and the No. 3 city was get ready New York. This surprised me, because I have lived in New York, and I know for a fact that during rush hour you cannot get into a subway car without the aid of a machete. So I called up Marjabelle to ask her, politely, if she was out of her mind. But she turned out to be a perfectly sane, relentlessly cheerful lady who believes in saying nice things about everybody, including New Yorkers, and who believes that the most important thing in the world is good Most-Polit- 1998 list. I said I thought that was pretty bizarre, unless the key criterion was cleanliness of handguns. Dorel agreed with me. She said to Marjabelle: "I think the people here are Then she said: "Ouch!" Then she said to me: "She pinched me under the table!" Marjabelle continued to smile at me with radiant politeness. Next, we had our tea and our tea sandwiches, which are cute sandwiches too small to be seen by the naked eye, although you still have to make them last two bites, according to Marjabelle. Also, you need to lift your teacup in a certain way so as to indicate that you are a classy individual. While we ate, we discussed current events. Marjabelle Lend-Leas- singer-musicia- Kon-stanti- mean-spirited- ." manners. Do you remember the plane that crashed in the Andes, and the survivors had no food? I'm not saying that if Marjabelle had been there, those people would not have eaten their deceased fellow passengers. But I am saying that they would have used the proper utensils. I met Marjabelle for High Tea at a restaurant in the Marriott Hotel in downtown Today is Sunday, March 11, knighted by Queen Elizabeth II. the 70th4ay of 2007. There Five years ago: Two colare 295 days left in the year. umns of light soared skyToday's Highlight in History: On March 11, 1942, as ward from ground zero in Japanese forces continued to New York as a temporary advance in the Pacific during memorial to the victims of World War II, Gen. Douglas the Sept. 11 attacks. At the MacArthur left the Philippines White House, President Bush for Australia, vowing: "I shall unveiled a commemorative return." (He kept that promstamp to raise money to help ise nearly three years later.) Sept. 11 victims "get their On this date: lives back in order." Israel In 1810, Emperor Napoleon lifted Yasser Arafat's three-mont-h of France was married by confinement in the proxy to Archduchess Marie West Bank. Louise of Austria. One year ago: Former Serb In 1861, the Confederate leader Slobodan Milosevic convention in Montgomery, was found dead of a heart attack in his prison cell in the Ala., adopted a constitution. In 1888, the famous "BlizNetherlands, abruptly ending zard of '88" began inundathis four-yea- r U.N. war crimes trial for orchestrating a deing the northeastern United cade of conflict that had killed States, resulting in some 400 deaths. a quarter of a million people; In 1941, President Rooshe was 64. Michelle Bachelet evelt signed into law the was sworn in as Chile's first e female president. Bill, providing war supplies to countries Today's Birthdays: Actor Terence Alexander is 84. fighting the Axis. In 1957, Charles Van Media mogul Rupert MurDoren's doch is 76. ABC News corrun on the rigged NBC game show respondent Sam Donaldson ended as he is 73. Supreme Court Justice "Twenty-One- " was "defeated" by attorney Antonin Scalia is 71. Musician Vivienne Nearing; Van DoFlaco Jimenez is 68. Actress ren's take was $129,000. Tricia O'Neil is 62. Actor In 1957, American explorer Mark Metcalf is 61. Rock n Richard E. Byrd died in BosMark Stein ton at age 68. (Vanilla Fudge) is 60. Singer In 1965, the Rev. James J. Bobby McFerrin is 57. Movie director Jerry Zucker is 57. Reeb, a white minister from Actress Susan Richardson is Boston, died after being beaten by whites during civil 55. Recording executive Jimrights disturbances in Selma, my Iovine is 54. Singer Nina Ala. Hagen is 52. Country singer In 1977, more than 130 Jimmy Fortune (The Statler hostages held in Washington, Brothers) is 52. Singer Cheryl D.C., by Hanafi Muslims were Lynn is 50. Actress Alex freed after ambassadors from Kingston is 44. Country musithree Islamic nations joined cian David Talbot is 44. Actor the negotiations. Wallace Langham is 42. Actor In 1985, Mikhail S. GorJohn Barrowman is 40. Singer bachev was chosen to succeed Lisa Loeb is 39. Singer Pete n the late Soviet President Droge is 38. Actor Terrence U. Chernenko. Howard is 38. Rock musician In 2004, 10 bombs exploded Rami Jaffee (Wallflowers) is 38. Actor Johnny Knoxville in quick succession across is 36. Rock the commuter rail network in Madrid, Spain, killing 191 Joel and Benji Madden (Good Charlotte) are 28. Actor David people in an attack linked to Anders is 26. Singer LeToya Ten years ago: In a startling is 26. Actress Thora Birch is 25. Actor Anton Yelchin is 18. turnaround, Senate Republicans agreed to a broader Thought for Today: "There are some people who leave investigation of campaign financing that would include impressions not so lasting as a look at huge "soft money" the imprint of an oar upon donations. Senate confirmathe water." Kate Chopin, tion hearings for CIA American writer Anthony Lake The Associated Press began. Paul McCartney was singer-musicia- Director-de- CELEBRITIES News of the Weird to cost the equivalent of about $1.2 million. In early February, the government attempted to halt inflation by passing a law declaring it illegal. Science on the cutting edge I An international team of biblical scholars learned recently that the sect thought to have been responsible for the Dead Sea Scrolls (the Essenes) became extinct because they were too modest about their taunting over scores to toilet habits. According to a November report in London's fester). Independent, the researchers found evidence of heavy feLeading economic cal bacteria in a secluded area indicators (which was also a graveyard) and deduced from the scrolls I The Money Drop: Gerthat the Essenes rejected defmany saw a birth boom durnew of the first the ecating in the open (which days ing would have allowed sunlight to year, attributed mainly to the inkill the bacteria). government's I A January National Geocentives (bonuses of up to the graphic TV special revisited equivalent of $33,000, leading an underreported Cold War mothers to attempt to delay December delivery until the struggle between Soviet and law kicked in on Jan. 1). Mean- U.S. scientists rushing to perform head transplants. Russian while, in the United States, according to a December New Vladimir Demikhov, working in secret in the 1950s, grafted York Times feature, an estimated 6 percent of the annual the head and upper body of a puppy onto the neck of a 70,000 babies scheduled to be born the first week of January large mastiff (and both reportwere once again induced early, edly bemusedly tolerated the for late December delivery, to other for the four days that take advantage of tax breaks the "puppy" lived). American worth at least $4,000 per child. Robert White of Cleveland, I On Feb. 10, at the luxurious Ohio, reportedly transplanted a Lebua hotel in Bangkok, orga- dog's brain into another dog's neck and noted which characnizers brought in six master teristics transferred with the chefs from around the world brain (until the dog died days to prepare the most exquisite dinner they could imagine for afterward). (When even limitthe 40 specially invited interna- ed word got out about White's inter-grou- child-bearin- g tional gourmets, who dropped In to dine for $2$,000 a persoa Among the fare: Perigord truffles, "tart are of Kobe beef with imperial Beluga caviar and Belon oysters," creme bailee of foie gras and 10 of the best wines of the 20th century, including 1961 Chateau Palmer. I Zimbabwe's almost comically sad ryrjmnfkrttori rate reached 1.593 percent in January (the dollars that bought a brick house with pool and tennis court in 1990 would today buy a single brick), but that did not stop President Robert Mugabe from ostentatiously celebrating his 83rd birthday on Feb. 24 at party estimated 1970 rhesus monkey head transplant, the public outcry forced his lab to close.) , v Sweet justice! I The Royal Bank of Scotland, like other banks in the U.K., is widely criticized for charging onerous fees to customers who make mistakes . on their account, such as overdrafts or late payments (levy-- . ing charges of many times the actual costs of handling the mistakes). Customer Declan Purcell of East London sued the bank over the excessive fees and won a default judgment when the bank failed to ). HOROSCOPE EUGENIA Mount Diablo High School (Concord, Calif.) students met in racial groups in February to prepare for upcoming statewide tests, to motivate them to improve their race's "team" score from the year before. Principal Bev Hansen defended the strategy of dividing whites, blacks, Hispanics and Asians, pointing out both its previous successes (increases of from 46 points for whites to 80 points for Hispanics) and its ability to motivate by positive ethnicity p (rather than allowing (1851-1904- signate DAY: by Chuck Shepherd respond. Armed with a court order entitling him to the equivalent of $6,600, Purcell led bailiffs into a Royal Bank branch lobby in January to seize four computers, two fax machines and cash. I Denver International Airport was reputed to be an facility that would operate seamlessly in a blizzard, but when it failed during the January snowstorms (closed for 45 hours), an embarrassed airport spokesman, Chuck Cannon, admitted he'd like "to choke the person who came up with (the term." The Associated Press then discovered a 1992 interview with Chuck Cannon, bragging to reporters about his new airport. p as Time magazine Man of the Year in 1995), was sentenced in Los Angeles to 14 years in prison for molesting an employee's daughter for four years beginning at age 10. Said Anderson, according to court records, "(Something in me was just evil." runner-u- Least competent criminals Qenzo Thompson, 45, was arrested in New York City in January after allegedly robbing the same Commerce Bank branch twice in three days. The first robbery ended when the chemical dye in the money bag exploded and spooked him, and he apparently failed to learn from that, in that the second robbery's money bag also exploded. (And three Civilization in decline years earlier, Thompson had been caught after another Tennessee's bank robbery after having acprocedures came under attack in February when cidentally dropped his ID on the bank floor.) (2) Michael J. critics realized they were a n DeWitt, 39, was arrested for hodgepodge of DUI in Fort Wayne, Ind., in rules intermingled with old electric-chai- r protocol. (Lethal February after he drove erratically into the parking lot of injection thus now requires an Indiana State Police station shaving an inmate's head and having a fire extinguisher early in the morning and told officers that he was there "to ready.) Also in February, at a hearing investigating Florida's get a room." (A Holiday Inn was next door.) (Police later botched December execution said they matched DeWitt's of Angel Diaz, a special comHummer to the vehicle that mission concluded that the minutes earlier had collided executioner should have with a car nearby and left the whether the IV line was in the vein, instead of (as scene.) he did) merely continuing to push the resisting chemicals Recurring Themes into the arm. (The only formal The U.S. Navy announced in qualification to be appointed a Florida executioner is to be at .February that it is planning to use 30 trained dolphins and sea least 18 years old.) lions for port security in Puget Sound near Seattle Dolphins' Bright people, sonar ability makes them exdark sides cellent at detecting swimmers, and they are being trained to Dr.HughTilson,67,an award-winnin- g public-healtsignal via a beacon when enresearcher at the University of countering one. According to an Associated Press dispatch, North Carolina, was arrested sea lions can carry special in January in a men's room cuffs In their mouths and are at the Atlanta airport and charged with public indecency. being trained to clamp the cuff around a swimmer's leg. Also in January, Lord Justice Richards, 56 (and one of BritVisit Chuck Shepherd daily ain's most senior judges), was arrested for allegedly exposing at www.NewsoftheWelrd. himself to a woman on a train. com. Send your Weird News And in February, WilUam , to WeirdNewsTipsyahoo. com or P.O. Box 18737, French Anderson, a Tampa, FL 33679. geneticist, 70 (and lethal-injectio- h world-renown- (1) LAST, SUNDAY, MARCH 11, BORN ON THIS Thora Birch, 25; LeToya Luckett, 26; Bobby McFerrin, 57; Sam Donaldson, 73 Happy Birthday: Take things in stride and don't let anyone get your 'dander up. This is a year that will require you to be helpful and humble. Overreacting, overindulging or overspending will be the enemy and must be avoided at all costs if you want to reach your goals. Your numbers are 10, 12,25,29, 32,47 ARIES (March 21 April 19): Get out and experience what's going on in your community or take a trip that will open your eyes to different cultures and lifestyles. A little romance is in the stars. This is a great day to make personal changes. 5 stflrs TAURUS (April Dont get involved in a risky venture that requires a financial contribution. Someone may be trying to find out information that you must keep a secret. A younger or older person in your life will probably cause you grief. 3 stars -- GEMINI (May21-June20- ): You can make moves' that will change your status and help you adjust in positive ways. New experiences will help you form new ideas and allow you greater clarity as to what direction you should head. 3 St&TS CANCER (Junt21-Jury22- ): Take a break and rejuvenate. Look at what you can do to comfort and pamper yourself for a change. Consider what it will take to make your world more to your liking and make a tolo list. 3 stars LE0(Jury23-Aug.22):L- et everyone see your talent and know what you want. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. This is the perfect day for love and romance so make special plans or get out and meet potential partners. 5 stars VIRGO (Aug. Don't let anyone take advantage of you today. A change of plans or someone you care about treating you differently will be upsetting. However, as long as you dont overreact, you should be able to control the situation. 2 stars LIBRA (Sept 22): You 23-0- 2007 really have to get out of the house and do something that excites you. Travel destinations that offer adventure and something totally new will also be great locations to spend with a lover or to find one. 4 SCORPIO (Oct 21): Stay on the move and away from anyone who may want to cause you trouble. Someone is probably trying to hide something from you. Call this person's bluff and flush out what it is that is so important. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. c with friends but don't travel too far from home. Someone you know is likely to show his or her true colors. Don't show any reaction. By ignoring the whole situation and this person, you will make your position clear. 3 stars 21): Get out CAPRICORN (Dec 22-Ja- Don't make a financial donation to an organization or individual. Offer your time, service or advice but keep your cash locked up. You will find out quickly who your real friends are if you arent the one paying. 3 stars 19): 18): AQUARIUS (Jan. You can put things to rest that have been bothering you or finish something that has been pending. You can make headway in a new direction or even get more deeply involved with someone you love. Make the personal changes you've been promising to make. 4 stars PISCES (Feb.19-March20- ): Someone from your past that you should probably stay away from wfll entice you. Rule with your head not ' your heart this time or you may ruin everything you've worked so hard to acquire. ' Now is not the day to take unnecessary chances. 2 stars Birthday Baby. You have a great deal to share and demand attention. You are playful, adventuresome and seek excitement. You are drawn to the unusual and strive to be original in all that you do. Eugenia's Web sites: astroadvice.com for fun, eugeniala3t.com for confidential consultations nnvG2::nnrbIuo.com |