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Show C sure G Sum Be MildL vy;- ffh-i- j VV rv-'v.- - ;; . ; ' . There's always the danger of misinterpreting new ideas and letting the pendulum swing foo for from ffce sfrief discipline of grandmother's ero MSUALNESS is the watchword for many young parents today. Strict routines and inflexible schedules for small children, considered essential a generation ago, are and and a good thing, too! But have we "thrown out the baby with the bath"? Those who have studied human behavior have impressed mothers and fathers with the sound principle that babies should -- be fed when they are hungry and comforted when they cry. We know now that some of the "training" with which one-aonce were plagued is more of a hindrance than a help; There's no reason to regret the fact that, in our ways of bringing up children, the pendulum swings back and forth. In the long run, it is through these changes that we find a balance. Still, there is always the danger that a new idea, even an excellent one, may be misinterpreted. How far, for example, can out-the-win-- out-of-d- ate nd two-year-o- lds -- iaumalne"0""4CTe"tbe-" comes carelessness? Will chil dren ultimately learn to do what is expected of them, or is some definite teaching called for, in addition to the : t : example 01 uieir parents: nee a aiscipuw. say i am ' it-i- wife Peggy downright negl- igent as a mother. What's more, he told her so daily. As a rsult. .their disagreements about bringing lip tnerr tun-- dren were not only mining uuie cniiaren uiey were aiso affecting Tom and Peg's rela- -' rAMIlf WIIKIY tionship as husband and wife. These are Tom's ideas about how to rear children: "If you want children to grow up decently, you have to teach them the right way from the very start No matter what our ear-old, Terry, or our Kathy, does, Peg's answer always is, 'He'll, outgrow it' or 'She'll learn by herself.' She has no idea at all of teaching the right habits. ''Kathy and Terry seem to be eating all day long. Take Terry to the store and he expects you to buy him a cookie. When Kathy gets her bottle, Terry wants something to cat. two-and-a-h- -y- alf ten-month-- old, Then Peg gives Kathy a cracker when we are at supper. Kathy s a finicky eater, if ever I saw one, and she ought to be taught that you eat what's good for you before you get snacks. Besides, just on principle, I don't believe in giving children everything they want. "My. mother raised a big family I was the oldest and she says she saw to it that " heTchildreTT-wWeout-o- f dia- pers by tne time they were a year .old or else! Peg won't do a thing about training Kathy or even Terry. So here we are with two of them still needing diapers. It's a disgrace, and just one more sign -- of JPeg's neglecifulncjs -- "I don't agree with those " who say children should do as they please: I've never read any of those -"booksthat Peg tcllsrme advise against thwarting a child, and I don't believe Peg has read them, either. I think she just MAGAZINE psychologists MAT 15, 155 up picks notions them at me. half-bak- ed and spouts 'Thwarted' my eye! I'd like to and with a thwart Terry slipper when he does things like getting into my fishing-tack- le box or smearing Peg's - lipstick on the wall. "You hear a lot of talk about its being good for children to be happy. I say it's good for them to learn there are some things they have to do. If it doesn't make them happy, why it's just tdo bad. For all Peg's talk about keep-in- g them happy, I think Kathy 's a cranky baby and always has been. "If Peg wants me around husband, she better buckle down to being a for a mother and quit being so casual. 'Casual' I hope I never hear that word again!" Peq lias different theories Peg defends her own theories vehemently: "When Tom says, Terry can't have a cookie. He had one this morning,' Terry probably feels the way I do w h en Tom tells-- m e , ' N o movies this week. We saw one week before last' My husband thinks the way to raise children is to forbid them anything they want I wonder why he's so sure whatever you enjoy is bad for you? rMy'mother-inlaw-ist- he one who is making trouble for me on this toilet-trainin- g business. All my friends say children train themselves if you - j ust'wait ; until they- - are old enough. "Everybody knows nowadays that children need to be v parents would convince them So is that they both are somewhat off the track, but that each is this stuff about doing everything on schedule. I'm sort of doing some sensible thinking, too. Just because of their difhappy-go-lucmyself and I hope my children will be, too. ferent points of view, both have a contribution to make "You get more out of life when you take it easy. Does in guiding their children. If Peg and Tom were to do it really matter if Terry has his sandwich and milk for a bit of reading, they might supper a little earlier or a be surprised to jdiscover that little later? I bathe them many notions laid at the door when I have time and when I 6f child psychologists are feel like it Sometimes Kathy merely "young wives' tales" plays around in her sleeping and are not recommended by suit all day. Sometimes she anyone who understands famtake a nap in the morning, ily living. You can be too cassometimes in the afternoon. A ual about believing everything family can tjun on a lime-tab- le you Jhearinjstead of finding like a railroad. 'Have out for yourself! Your children learn to do 'em, love 'em, and let 'em be,' that's the way I feel about what is expected of them more readily when theyare raising children." sure of your love and are enTwo views, on objective joying life than when they methare continually being punNo matter how their ods differ. Peg and Tom have ished. A happy, help 'cnU'd accepts resin the same, obJective--t- o their children become good, cheerfully than one who has competent individuals. Each been constantly deprived of of them has misunderstood satisfactions. p r e se n t--d a y principle & ofl. L,lThe youngster wjboejneeds. child guidance. Perhaps a were promptly and lovingly careful reading of one or two cared for in babyhood is gengood books and pamphlets for erally able' to abide by a few loved, iot punished. pline is old-fashion- Disci- ed. ky self-confid- ent |