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Show TAILORS IN THE UA8T DITCH. Will Fiflht to the Death te Save Their Trouers. w WW?tv!; WIS "My dear, marriage has its humornaterooms, uiid they were simply ous Bide," writes a cheerful young strewn all over the cabin floor. matron who U visiting in New Eng"Well, e just went straight to bed. land. "Not or.!y that, but it is also Of course we had no notion of sleep-ins- , but we thought discretion was the useful as a means of discipline." better part of valor. Geor?e managed "I think you never knew in fact, to get into the upper bertn and I for some years 1 took particular pai-itumbled into the lower. You see, I that nobody should know about what didn't dare take my hands off a little happened the first time George and I box of hand painted teacups that I came east together. It was practically was carrying to Aunt Maria, and every our wedding trip, because we hadn't time I was tossed back and forth in gone away anywhere just at first and my berth I tried to keep that from 1 really hadn't had time yet to get striking anything, which made it a accustomed to George's little ways. busy season. Oh, it was nothing; only on the first "Oh, how sick I was! And cold night we spent at the hotel in New and such a headache and frightened York he dreamed that the horses were to death every minute for fear somerunning away and that he'd got to thing would crash into us and not save my life, and so what did the dear a second of rest just one everlasting Well, boy do but seize me bodily and throw motion from all ways at once! in the midst of it all George went to me out of bed! You know how strong he is. sleep! How he could do it is beyond me. Maybe, being so heavy, he wasn't "Well, that's in the past. I can thrown around quite so much. Anyspeak of it with perfect calm, but this I heard him snore. thing I'm going to toll you now hap- way, "The next minute the end of everypened only six weeks ago. I wonder thing seemed to come. Our (suit cases, if it's funny? See what you think. that we had been foolish enough to "You remember, we came up here leave unlatched on the bench at the to Portland from New York by water. side of the room, gave a mighty We thought it was going to be such a jump and the water pitcher rose up nice little sea voyage, but it turned out of oft its rack and I was lifted out cold as Greenland, and then, just the bed at the same instant. up I as we got off Point Judith, there was remember first being pounded against a fog that made it dangerous to move the wall at the back of the berth, in any direction; so there we lay for and then bouncing forward away over eleven hours waiting for it to clear. the edge, and down down on the That's a passive, restful floor in the midst of hard things with Waiting! word. What we did was to stay there sharp corners brushes, combs, botand be churned. tles, a broken pitcher, Ice water and "Talk about seas! Did you ever goodness knows what! know a sea that came from all direc"And George! Please try to imtions at once and bumped up in the agine my feelings, when, Instead of middle at the same time? Words leaping to my rescue on the instant, couldn't t 11. you! The boat was full George poked his sleepy head over the of people who had crowded on for edge of the berth and growled out: a short trip, without dreaming that "Mary, what on earth are you getting they would be out long enough to need tip for?' " Efforts of reformers to remodel, cnange th rear elevation, and otherwise trim, plait and berufSe that garment variously known as pants, jeans, trousers or bretcheg has met with from al match Ttgorona protests scratching classes of society. Tte proposal of speakers before the Irv ing Park Women's Club to change the tyle of trousers, and their scurrilous HSIQitDBf s require propitiation. The wake starts with a procession of the mourners to the grave, where a white cock Is sacrificed to make the perturbed spirit rest. Then they return to the house, light a number of candles and fortify themselves with" immense quantities of rum and food. One after another the mourners yell at the top of their voices to the ghost they Imagine to be present, telling him how much they loved him and what an excellent man he was. Hymns are sung, and then the spirit Is supposed to be placated and the mourners are free to have a good time. A feast, or "eating match," follows, and most of the guests get drunk on strong "estate rum," which is practically proof spirit. Boisterous games are played, and favorite native songs, such as the following, are sung: Chorus Me len' Iff?.. n m i mm v Alni life' why our thrills nf will feel iMKliisy, tilling nil the ion) utrrwn with flowers iweet Whm love With calm hni And lif uppma To Virlitlilpn dny. the oul 1ihiIih" Th'n hnw mii-Will nit J along life s way. Bwfot mri-- bt'vm and all around The mrry hint will nln of nil Aa If thy to thi would lirlnif I.lf"' Joyooni-soi-full heart All nattirn Kor S'ory of mankind. him In every way And trat-hTo all lior bpautlfa tlnd. hr Purh bmuty 4 Who tiaveia Whlrh the int everywhere revealed to him with mini opened eyes, (trowing- dim, liemitlftil without, nr VTHMn and everywhere. nrt do not look for darker aide Of Ute. wnicn nmin neapair. .Martha lint when the llftht of love roes out. What darkness will appearl l"or then the reign of terror romei. When men are ruled fear; And oh! what sorrows ly nil their heart ; What wretchednesa each day Confronts the hearts which fear to tre4 y. Along life a dreary All lore for evil to depart And b've conie back again To glorify the Father' world And miflen hearts of men Love's relcn al"m- can satisfy And fill the heart with pe:lt e, And may II ever iul supreme - Shepard lo Happiness Llpplncott if vrk Herald. birih forelelb Herald airuc and losing peace, reclaim iljai 4iriir and womj eca-sre- , Tribune. truer svwst Half Lion, Half Tiger. A hybrid that has attracted the attention of zoologists is the Hon and tiger cross, a number of which may now be seen at Hamburg. The oldest Is four years ot age, and Is a fine anlmkl called Prince. When only three years of age he weighed EOO pounds and measured ten feet from the tip of bis tall to the tip odV benkm omnipotence. XIX Copyright, 1903, by The Associated f Who Struck Jamtswtihc 7 With in Account of His Abandonment of the Watermellon "Habit:" More or Less Truthfully THE REVEREND EZEKIL Told by LOUDMOUTH I i f In order that the reader may un- the value of peaches as both a lucious derstand fully the events leading up and nutritious diet, whereat the Rev. to the misadventures herein set forth, Ezekil took the floor. a brief sketch of the author Is neces"I don't keer how high a dahkey sary. gits up in de worl', tier how much lak The Reverend Ezekll loudmouth white folks he tries to ack, he'll come had been the pastor of a colored right back to his sateh'ul se'f, ef you church In Indianapolis but owing to shet 'im up in a room alone wid a his Inability to recognize the differ- watah millun. An' de white folks ence between the debit and credit side laks watah millun, too! Did you know of the church's collection accounts It? 'Deed dey does! Dey ain't no was deposed; and drifting to Chicago 'niggah problem' when it comes to had so effectually that watah millun! W'y. when I wuz pas-ta- h the sole remains of his ministerial uv a little rhu'eh In Injunap'lls, life appeared In his costume and the me 'n Jeems Whitcomb Riley eat many unctious use of large and inappro- a good ole millun together! An' Riley sho' kin eat! W'y, ef you wuz to set priate words. The Reverend Ezekil spent most of 'im down 'mungst a passel o' dahklcs, his waking hours in the various re- an put 'em all to eatln" millun, you sorts where the gentlemen of his couldn't tell f'om zamlnln' de rlnes color most do congregate, taking such which wuz Rllcys an' which wuz de gitts as the Fates might send in the cullud folks'! "Went to his house one day, I did way of refreshment, and volubly thanking the "I.o'd" for the drops and (great, big, square house made outen red brick stan's on Lockerby Street. crumbs which fell to his share. Naturally the fare In both forms I knows right whah It Is bin dah being of an uncertain quality, the mo' times den I got lingers an' toes)., times of famine were in an Inverse an" I rung de do' hell, an' sen's in ratio to the times of plenty and in wo'd 'at I wants to see Riley on consequence the talk of feasts to come 'po'tant business. Putty soon down' he come f'om his study. S'l: 'Dre'r occupied more hours than their conOn this sumption. particular occa- Riley, does you know miliums haa sion the conversation had turned on gone up to fo'ty cents, an' gun . " Copyright, 1903, by Publisher' II. Smash, de cullud dandy, comej In his Sunday bea'; Pen. f'om H':ippy Hollah," he wui dah wldotit his ves'; 'Putty Sue" an' Silly .1' nnn; I'uhion Itrown nn' pcimn t.,cen Laud! we win de bapples' duhkles ole Virginity cvah seen! f'ompey dah "How-lal- in. to son III. 'side de railroad track to tote home wid me. Went up to a stump, I did, an' 1 brought a millun down 'cross It Twin!' An' de stump Jumped up an' ruck arter me! An' I thought I ! toyealr'd a gun go off S'l: 'Data! bress God, de fahmah'i comln' arter me!' An' I spread ma wines an' flew! S I: lir er Kiiey, oo de bes' you kin fob. yo' se'f! De Bible say: "Flee f'om de wrall to come; An' by dat time I had done gone a mile, aflf had los' coat, shoes, an' hat r made foh one o' ma membahs' bouses, on de outskirts o' de town, an' I fell In d 6&, an' s i: tome an gn fainted plum' away. me!" An' 'Mi mamfoah tuck me In an' put me to bed, an--' ner mo'nln' he lent me suit o' hta clothes to go home in I'd done fixed up a ghose story, an' tole Mm. On my way home, I stopped house see bow he come at Rlley out An' dey tole me be wuz sick in bed. 'W'ji. ain't you hyern It?' i sle'bes, lak dey w gokn' to buss open. dey. An" dey stowed me whah de " 'Now,' sez Riley, "dls ole feller papahs said he'd bin hit in de head n' helt ud an' robfced! S'l: 'Ain't dat here raises de ltB' mOlunsitn de state; I but he keeps a mean dog, an' dey say a shame! nice a man as hea Is!' An' Fren I: an he whah wuz, In went Ms.' a watches wid he patch, o' nights mattab?" S'e: 'Mat- know hcrw true 't la. Riley, whut'a de shotgun. I matttah? Wy, Rev unt, I Qiani "S'l: 'We'll go wbah Aery's de bea" tahT " S'l: milluns. an' taloe tie chawes!' S'l: thalnk you'd do me 'do? sez do?" 'Dor W'y, I be, 'Whut'd down wa 'I'm valkod too fur 'to back tah now!' s'l: 'I'm a ole ban' at dla you broke a watahmlllun ovab ma 'At's whut you done!' B'e: business folter me, ' an' you'll wa'h head! hu't me so I could babdly git head 'Ma close diamonV An' s'l: 'L'es' keep Dotf 'speck I Kin wnte none town. to so'a we won't .take one together nother fur de man." S'e: "Qfreed! ifnh a week.' S'e: 'I wouldn't mine it An ha wuz green! "Wall, arter we'd bin In dah a while, ,o: but do millun an' didn't see ner hyeah do thin', we alius acted cor toahds me arter oat. Inst watah got bol'; an' rained up an' went to But I ain't got nothln' 'g wiJkln' "roun' dah, lak we owned de mlllnn. all de sane." J. D. CORROTHER3. phjee Cta's me wanted de bes" nail- 1902. Funk & Wagnalls kuns In de patch) an' I swab, we gota Copyright. Co., New York. los' fom one 'nother. But we wua dast to holler. Made up' ma. mine to Be sure of the effect before wasting tase a piece o' millun, ilen fine Tiller 'n' go home already had a sackful your time In searching for the cause. risln'?' S'e: 'No Reverent; ain't It orful?' S'l: 'Yes, an' I don't 'pose to pay it!' S'e: 'Whut you gorn' to do? We mus' hab milluns to eat!' S'l: 'Br'er Riley, dey's lota lahms 'roun' hyeah, an' on dem fab me dey's heaps o' milluns; an" de fahmdhs 'ud be willin' to donate 'em to you mose any night you'll come 'artejr 'em 'vidln' dey caln't ketch, you." S'l: 'I'm goln' out to try ma lurk an' I called 'ronn' to see. 'f you'd go wid me. S'l: To'ty cciitarfoh a watah millun Is a outrage!' "Went back dat eb'nfin' as God would hab it an' TUley say: 'Walt 'tel I git ma hat.' An off we put down de stroet spllttln' Injvmap'lls wide openl Riley had a so't o" step, an' 1 wuz da Mobile buck. "Cah'd me out, ha did, about fo' miles fm town, an' stepped right In front uv a big olii fahm whah you could hypah de mlljnns Jes' In dey an' atalkin' an' hkf down 'bud-du-ee- t do' The Associated Publishers' Corporation, ot his nose, and stood four feet blgn to the top of the shoulder. The peculiarity of this beast Is that he baa a tiger's body and a Hon' head, the stripes, of course, not being so dfsilnct as In the common tiger. Prince's father was a Senegal lion and his mother a Bengal tiger. "The first successful experiment I made in the crossing of animals," said his owner, "was about seven years ago, when I I crossed a leopard and a puma. am now busy endeavoring to obtain a new variety of sheep by crossing the giant sheep of central Asia with our common domestic animal." Scientific American. Amusing Theater Program. A curious theater program of 1730 la In the Stadt museum at Brunswick. In the quaintest of German the following conditions are set forth: "In order for the convenience of the audience It Is requested that the first row doth lie, the second kneel, the thlid sit, the fourth stand; thus can ail see. Laughing Is forbidden, because that It Is a tragedy." Alphabetical Cherry Trees. Young cherry trees may be trained Into the form of letters without their VIII. Chicago, AMI 'Lone 'bout midnight we eat (upper 'da' we didn't need It ha t; An' Nick Henderson tole atorlea dat 'ud make de Rhoses laugh Den we played ganiea an' drunk elder an' de mose' uv It, too; Cvah las' on uv us dahkle felt as rich at any Jew. Aunt Lucindy's Christmas Party IV. Ttihaon Brown be (traced the table, an' his blesiln' run Ink die "Laud, - prepuli o foh dese comfo't.' An- he hit down wid Ills fl' On dut table tell de dlahra rattled on de pantry she'f! In." se Aunt Luclndy, "Pilch rls-ri- t "evahbody he p hli e'f." j. VI. 1 When, de pah son an' de deaecn lef,' wel tuck a aoclnl cunt Hick Hendersor, de 3kih, 'ran to chime hla fl.Mle up. Den w de fantaalle- "lUht "tripped An evahbody feellii'' gay! Nick Henderson he Addled, an' he called off dli a way: IX Den. d way we went to daticln' wui a can'lua. sinful shame! an', ob co m But de music kep' we wa'n't to blame lel.lancea:Quadrille, an' de n" vjtaea; ihan'i-'rou- Aunt 'Cindy 'possum! to yo' soul! weeicn 'tiitnlip biyin' 'roun' It, lak ao many lumps o' col' I'le an' rake wos on "at table: co Kin a comf'itt slmmnn beer-D- oes you wonder list de rtahkles flork- d a roun' f'om fur an' near? V. Dey win eatln' fnm de ole house to de done dot day! kll r aley nful ho Ilres de l.aud' we laid de vltunls 'way! t fos-ohla mannahs, an' Pompey Htnnsli good I'ahson luown eat so Dat we almose had to M nm home, wbtn D gei ur iu go. tas . an' "hoe-downole-tl- pigeon-win- "All- - "essence uv Vlrginny;" an' evththlng. 55 5Zc Ought Chicago, Corporation, I an' It vahah! Wa y Ah! love will light llfe'a pathway un With radiance ao bright, And all the hlemlng of the world Reveal with It kind Hunt; Till earth will seem like paradlae. So full of bliss 'twill be. When all ahall live by Clod's bleat laws In aweet aerenlty. I f aoented up de a'h: An' de cullud population come o n g L i f e's 1 . is? ing in a deepen axed us to come down. Dah wui "possum on de table, H i i sa "baok-slidded- I.ou-Isian- a i tt m m i if nun The first republic this hemisphere The old French governor offered no to succeed in compelling recognition resistance, while the new Spanish govof Its Independence was, of course, ernor took refuge on a ship and Bailed On Oct. 29, 1768, the the republic whose proud capital is for Havana. Council at New Orleans adopted a forWashington, D. C. But there was an mal declaration of independence, ofearlier one which died soon after its ficially named itself the republic ol birth, of which little or nothing is Louisiana, elected Lafreniere "Prosaid in our American histories. It tector" and prepared a written constiwas the "Republic of Louisiana," tution. This Interesting government which had its tragic little existence lasted from October, 1768, to July, some years before Patrick Henry and 1769, when a Spanish squadron ot Sam Adams were talking about revo- twenty-fou- r vessels, with an army of lution in the North. 2,600 men, arrived at New Orleans. When France, in 17C4, ceded Louisi- The new republican state was deana to Spain, the subjects of King stroyed and five republican leaders, Louis XV. objected to the transfer including, Lafrenlere, were put to without their consent. The local gov- death. Then all the republic's official ernment submitted the question to the papers, Including its declaration of incouncil, which, under the lead of dependence and constitution, were Nicholas Chauvin de Lafrenlere, rose burned in the public square. in revolt. Lafrenlere called a convenThe anniversary of the execution of tion of the people at New Orleans, the leaders, Oct 28, is to be celebrated while the new Spanish governor was at St. Louis by the laying of the coron his way to the colony, and the con- nerstone of a monument to Lafrenvention selected a delegate to go to iere and his colleagues. A direct deParis to dissuade the French king scendant of Lafrenlere, now living in from his course. Ixiuis XV., however, Wisconsin, has received a special inrebuffed the delegate and sent back vitation to be present at the exercises, word that the people must recognize 'the Louisiana episode of 1768-69- , which has never won more than I the authority of Spain. mere footnote in history, merits thi It was then that the people of resolved on a radical course. proposed memorial, and the celebra On the night of Oct. 28, 17C8, the reb- tion at St. Louis ought to Interest th I. els took possession of the French American bavi people. Republics Wilson wui de beg' cook forts and the gates of the town in the Bome right to our sympathy. Spring Aunt InLuclndy de town. name of the Republic of Ixjulslana. field Republican. She baked a Chris' ma rilnnnh, an' the In population of Chicago saying: 'Women, you have taken from us everything else, leave us our trou sers." Tailors, incensed by the reflec tions cast by the women, declared that the Dressmakers' union la sim ply striving for a foothold, or leghold, on the pantsmaking industry of th United States and would merge It Into the dressmaker's business. "They are simply trying to create new era in pants," said one tailor. "The present style of trousers is the result of centuries of study of the needs of man. We can make a pair of pants an Inch wider at the knee, two Inches wider at the bottom, and we can add sail area to the seat, but beyond that no tailor dares take lib erties with his customer's clothes. Nothing short of a revolution would make men adopt a new style. 'As a matter of fact, the present garment Is perfect. It has five pockets one for chewing tobacco and a gun, one for a handkerchief. These are at the northeast and southeast corners of the pants. They are placed geographically so a fellow can reach for his gun under almost any circumstances without exciting suspicion. Then, In front is a small pocket for a watch and cloves, and on either side Is a pocket for the hands. Without those pockets for the hands no man could accomplish anything." Chicago memory ii nr i birr a remarks concerning the unslgUUl- ness of the present design aroused a storm of Indignation." With one accord the masculine , J j wm . littljnrTe, lacljjoijfuUofcik IlVJl him me canoe. Earlier Republic - ij?ftnr 1 ftn rttimn ii ear Irazni he h iounrokmn voices m Him tief me paddle. John Joe, widdle waddle. Me len' him me nsh pot, Him tlef me net. John Joe, widdle waddle. Me len' him me harpoon, Him tlef me line. John Joe, widdle waddle. John Joe no hab None hat 'pon him head. John Joe, widdle waddle. John Joe no hab None shirt 'pon him back. John Joe, widdle waddle. If I catch John Joe I will break him back, John Joe, widdle waddle. The corpse is not usually present at a Jamaican wake, as it is at an Irish one, because in a tropical country follows burial almost immediately death. At the "nine night," as the negroes call the second wake, four men take up the sheet on which the dead man expired. Holding it by the corners, they shake it violently, calling out: "Bredder Dead Man! Bredder Dead Man! Am you dere? Here's you ole frien's, den, come fe talk wid you. If you love we, don come out!" There follows a few minutes of terrified silence. Will the ghost appear and cause trouble? If he does not, the mourners heave a sigh of relief, and conclude that their efforts have quieted the restless spirit forever. Then they start In to enjoy themselves again. je c) e r !) t x at xM.mt tt $ nblime, r ft Jamaican Wake The peasants of Ireland are not the only people who "wake" a corpse. The practice Is as common among the negroes of Jamaica, in the West Indies, but they are more generous than the Irish; they give the deceased two wakes instead of one, The first wake is held on the first night after death, the second on the ninth night, when the ghost is supposed to hover around the house and ort3 Im lmjsefl VII. Tell you whut. 'twaa e'ly e fimash.' down In d eo'nah, whrn w wii '"dr-'er- oM de flel'a, Bhak yo' foot wid Tutty Sue' I Sva) i fe"1 wld bl" tum. Whut'a d mattah. Avant Luetndrt IaH way uh h'iMi wah light an- cneerruj dey gate a hoUln' youT But night wah gran', a d Bay, you little bow-l- a lit dabky wkat ovatt a A wtntah move W14 ain't tot nn any ves . I harry Flint yo' co'nnekfc high an' loneaom wit dat (at ln.de blue dreial" "'Pompey iilh 1'. fruit bearing powers being affected. These trees are especially popular for table decoration during birthday festivities, when the name of tbe person In whose honor the guests have assembled can be shown in leafy characters, while the ripe fruit can b plucked for dessert. investment a Good One. Crsnberry Isle, Me., man twenty acres of years ao bought thirty-siland on the Island at $5 an acre, and recently he sold the land to a summer resident for $10,000. Time was when that amount of money would bar bought all the Islands In that A |