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Show FRIDAY. OCTOBER 19, 2001 THE DAILY UTAH CHRONICLE Q) par n CAN HAM n continued from page 6 UULa r ERIC WALDEN Chronicle Sports Editor People who get to know me are inevitably surprised to discover that I wasn't always a blasphemous heathen. It's hard to blame them, I suppose. After all, I've been known to curse like a sailor, drink like a fish and party like it's 1999. Consequently, it's not exactly a secret among my friends and colleagues that I'm an atheist. What's not so however, is that I wasn't thus. always In fact, it's been only a few short years a relatively minute portion of my life that I haven't held a belief in God. Though I certainly had developed agnostic leanings far before then, I stopped altogether when I was and a couple kids in Colorado shot up their high school, killed 12 students, one teacher and then themselves. That was merely the icing on the cakc.Or should I say the nail in the coffin? First off, there was a little bit of convenient logic to justify the change. According to what I believed, God is supposed to be a perfect, omniscient, omnipotent being, and we are here on Earth to endure trials and prove our faith in him. What kind of deity, I wondered, is so insecure that he stands idly by and lets innocents get slaughtered, just to prove that we still believe in him? I also thought of reading Job in a freshman humanities class. Anyone so shallow, I thought, surely is not perfect, and if God is not perfect, then he clearly does not live up to the standards that religion has ascribed to him, and consequently cannot exist Then again, it's not so much that I believed that God d should have intervened; I am in the philosophy of free will or free agency or whatever term one might use well-know- n, well-verse- to describe our ability to act as we see fit and control our own destiny. Such a God, after all, would not be an impartial, benevolent deity judging us on the worthiness of our actions, but a meddling dictator interfering with the natural progression of life to force its boundaries to fit his specifications. Instead, though I still cannot fully articulate to others the reasoning that exists within my own mind and heart, I believe it has more to do with a generalized belief that life itself is simply far too random, too chaotic for some supreme being to be overlooking it all. However, while Columbine cemented my inability to believe in let alone worship God, it certainly was not the only determining factor. As a bleeding-hear- t liberal, I could not reconcile my supcivil and the notion of equality with the blaof liberties port discrimination legalized by the supposed tant, outright moral code of religion. I know and admire some homosexuals, and the fact that, when I think of them, I see compassionate, upstanding individuals, rather than descendants of Sodom and Gomorrah, is telling. I heard Sunday lectures that my eternal fate was more predicated upon rituals and traditions than living a righteous life dedicated to the empowerment of my fellow human beings. I observed subjugation of women, remembered the religious contexts of historical wars and saw so many hypocrites sitting in a church on Sunday, but acting anything the other six days a week... other than God-lik- e And I decided that two years of teaching - and boys about God was plenty long enough. Ultimately, I do not criticize or castigate those around me who are religious; I do not tell them that man created God, rather than the other way around; and I certainly don't attempt to convert them to The Dark Side. My atheism and the personal philosophy that shapes it are, in fact, of a highly laissez-fair-e variety. All I ask, in the end, is that you don't tell me I'm going to hell because I don't go to church... After all, you sure don't seem to mind when the party's at my house. Eric welcomes feedback at. ewaldenchronicle.utah.edu. 5- Well, someone had to come up with all of those other religions, so why don't you just start your own? I don't think religion is supposed to work that way. When you don't have a religion, you don't just start your own. Why don't you join an existing church? Well, I...I don't know. I guess because I think they are about as arbitrary as the Almighty Committee. I mean, I am a good person now. Why would sitting quietly in a shirt and tic while adults explain how God is cool make me any better? How do I know God even exists? I guess I will just keep thinking about it, but I am not going to get rid of the Almighty Committee idea, I like that. For that night, my religious philosophizing came to an end. I fell asleep and the next day I didn't think about it when I went to Ms. Tolpinrude's class. For most of my life I haven't thought about my own religious beliefs, then I dated one special person. Because of my wonderful relationship with her, I wanted to know about her faith. I doubt it would surprise anyone if I said she was Mormon. She never pushed me, but supported me when I said I would like to read the Book of Mormon and attend services with her, which I did for a few months. Through this process of study and contemplation, I once again came to the same conclusion I did lying in my bed staring at my Jazz posters all of those years ago God could exist, there is nothing that tells me he doesn't. But when it came down to it, there was nothing to tell me he does. I wasn't looking for an obvious sign, I wasn't asking for my Jazz to win the championship or anything, but never did I have that feeling. That feeling that wells up inside of a person and screams out at them: "This is a Truth, this is what you have been searching for." Oh, I searched for that feeling, and a couple of times I thought I felt it, but really it was only me hoping too much. So what it comes down to is, I don't know if God exists. I believe there is something after death, but if push came to shove, I would only shrug my shoulders and say I have no idea what it is. What I do believe is that whether God exists or not, as long as I strive my best to help those around me, especially my family, then I will get taken care of. Yet, every once in awhile I still lie in my bed, now upgraded to a queen size, with my hands resting on my chest. I stare at the walls (I am too lazy to hang up any posters) and I think about the creation of the universe. Einstein said that energy never dies. Our thoughts arc made from small electrical currents. That's energy. Hey, maybe there is some sort of afterlife. If there wasn't, would that be so bad, as long as I do everything I can to put my stamp on the world while I am alive? I don't know. I doubt I ever will. Matt welcomes feedback at: mcanhamchronicle.utah.edu Earn $2000 or more during the 2002 Olympic Winter Gamesin Salt LaEc e City U TA UTA is hiring 150 drivers to work during the Olympic Winter Games. Mb SALT LAKE 2002 Please reference Job OSBO Earn $9.00 per hour during training. Earn $11.39 per hour after training. Become a trained transit bus operator and receive a Commercial Drivers License (CDL). Receive a Free Official Games Transportation Coat. Earn a $500 bonus for completion of all assignments during the Games. You can attend training classes on a very flexible schedule eveningsweekendsholidays, then study for and receive a Commercial Driver's License (CDL) during your training. The first class begins on October 24, 2001, then classes start weekly until December 30, 2001. Sign up now because training spots are limited. You must be available to work variable shifts 6 days per week during the 2002 Olympic Winter Games. You must be 21 years of age or older, have a good driving record (no more than 2 moving violations in past 3 years and no DUI in the past 7 years), have good English communication skills, and be able to pass a physical and drug test and a basic skillspersonality test. Your total term of employment will be from approximately February 3, 2002 to no later than February 24, 2002. However, if you are interested in driving for us in the future, you will be considered for rehire before the general public. Just fill out an application and basic skills test in the Union building or at the Student Employment office located in the Student Services building, room 380 from 8:00 a.m. to 12:00 p.m. Oct. 19th (Friday). Utah Transit Authority www.rideuta.com 3600 South 700 West, Salt Lake City 135 West l?" Street, Ogden 1110 South Geneva Road, Orem AN EQUAL OPPORTUNITY EMPLOYER - 1L FMDV 7 |