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Show 8 THE DAILY UTAH CHRONICLE WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 3, 2001 Weed Can tSfet the Heottomy High 'gain There will be a mad rush to buy land to grow this hardy, but beauti- ALEX LEE ful weed. Chronicle Feature Columnist So what's going to dig us out of this recession? Is it going to be the corporate tax cut to increase business spending? Lowering the capital gain tax to boost the stock market? Or good old Keynesian economics with big government spending in the war on terrorism? I'm no economist, so I'll give the people who proposed these ideas the benefit of the doubt. Hut for college students graduating soon and looking for work, we need something more innovative and exciting. How about legalizing marijuana? It's not such leap. Actually, I've never had more conviction about one of my ideas before in my life. The connection of legalization and the economy materialized while I was watching a beer documentary in class. Which class? It doesn't a matter. The Great Depression ended about the same time that we repealed Prohibition. Coincidence? Well, maybe World War II and the New Deal had something to do with it, too. But Franklin D. Roosevelt signed the bill himself and ended up with tons of free beer from happy brewers. The man was a genius'. The time has come again for this simple remedy. By legalizing marijuana, an entire new set of industries will spring up that will make the airlines, hotel and travel sectors d seem like remnants. Here are just a few examples of Third-Worl- what I mean: The folks who romanticize about the higher morality of farmers will finally sec their dreams come true. Farm machinery, tools, fertilizer and the dickey industry (just to name a few) will benefit directly from this urban exodus. And wh3t a boon it would be to the food industry. Cooks and bakers will now have a new ingredient to work with. Sure, there's always the brownie but how about cannabis bisque, hemp pesto fcttuccinc or lemon weed salmon? New retail shops will spring up along with specialty bars to sell and serve the hash. It might be premature to speculate on this, but in general, I think conviviality motivates good tipping. The wealth trickles down to waiters and bus boys Let's not forget the jocks and the entertainment industry. If you like beer ads, you're going to love marijuana commercials. I can sec Paul Simon going outside and smoking a "," Woody Harrelson lighting up his shoes and Bubba himself finally inhaling. Most important of all, legalization will bring back good rock and roll. If there's one positive side effect of the gloomy economy, it is that it's going to end the teen acts and boy bands once and for all. Now, all wc need is a catalyst to start the revival. All musicians know an altered state of consciousness is a prerequisite to good music. Eric Clapton knew that, and so did the Beatles, Rolling Stones, Arrowsmith, Grand Funk Railroad and so on. Wc can't fight a war on two fronts, so let's end the war on drugs and give weed a chance, (By the way, don't tell my mother I wrote this.) Alex welcomes feedback at: aIeechroniclc.utah.edu Vappin Friends and Molasses: The Ortfln of Pet Peeves encounter on a much more lar basis pet peeves. CHRIS I YEATES ! The slightly perverse sounding "peeves" began circulating in the mid 1500s in the form of peevish, which at the time was synonymous with spiteful. Since then, it has evolved into a slightly less egregious word, slowly making its way to the verb form of peeve which, at present, means simply to irritate or annoy. Pet is a derivative of petty, which, in the early 1500s, was reserved for describing a pampered and arguably spoiled child who was often referred to as a pet. So 3 pet peeve might be construed as either a spoiled or pampered annoyance or 2 trite irritation. However, given the fact that I neglected to do any actual research, I stumbled vpon the etymology cf the term jret peeve. Apparently, the phrase had already discovered a cozy and prosperous shsg life by 1919, the year cf the infjr.oua and very rezl Gret Mc!.i:: : f bod. At this time, a close friend of Albert Einstein, Garret Peevie, happened to sjept & en all go 3 nr. a ' I Chronicle Feature Columnist There are many things the world needs less of: pollution, violence, people who seem to be entertained beyond belief by the sound of their own voices, women and Republicans, Of course, there are many more things the world needs more of; ice cream flavors, meaningless, noncommittal sex and beer. Yes, as one can see, this column is turning out to be the epitome of everything shallow. But that's not so bad, A provocative argument now and then is a good thing, but columns tend to get a bit bogged down by intensely significant issues like abortion or stem-ce- ll research. I mean, $oor.er or later we real ly need to step eff the jredcstol of incredible social affairs and recognize that sometimes the shallow stuff makes life equally unbearable. For instance, I've got a friend who seems to be under the delusion that everything' he has to say is worth hearing. This is dreadfully boring, as it prevents the poor $cul from ever shutting up. Even worse is the fact that the rest of the world seen; to find tbti. amusl?. which or.ly amplifies his darm? voice which seems to only have one volu.n;e asaftt for the: j of you wlo, Kks Ar.irr.al Ihr.et watch myself, Now, ! most profound columnist for The Daily Utah Chronicle, I wouldn't writ? a column In a futile er.de av ' or to humiliate my loudmouthed friend. In ha, I rather like the f -. l- Ids Jii4.Lt.j.,J?...43.4Xi,uiL' 3i low. Instead, I'd rather step away for a moment from the political popularities and social atrocities and deal t with something people vice money, so you should buy lots of ,1111111 iiiiib t Wfff . .. , (IE) time- - . fl ic tiTZZll rious for its habit to llb qsltt painfully upon soy penc-- it happened to nistrie for a trc;. Garret Peevie, slightly disturbed by the absurd incident with the 2.2 million gallons of cioUescs and his irritating yet considerably buoyant goanna, on my soy latte everyday, I have little room to complain. Besides, it is comforting that we are back to good oT consumer manipulation as normal. Returning to "normal" is, in fact, the central and most complicated theme in this whole disaster. Every previously normal aspect of American life is now a touchy subject. coffee." ; destroyed lie tlx trrrs t'.rt hid been xrov, Irz a spending continued from page 7 Z( ts only for Stev e JrvJn, a gaar.r.a is a small possuu-li- e mammal that has the unfortunate propensity to ch'rr.h things constantly Sices there aie ycty few trees in Boston, especially after the ClS$ M'.ila'.s I lica wUca not only drown est 21 peep!-- in a considerably (kRfur,g faihion, tvt net tht But while I'm definitely After thinking about it for a while, I realized that my irritation was somewhat ridiculous. America is a capitalist society, and it is capitalizing on whatever it can so what? As long as I am three-fift- y !'4 Law School Fair c r. ""i L. J Wednesday, October 10 10 a.m. - 2 p.m. Union Ballroom 0mt ctxo rprntKM 9X3 law Admissions Jit, r- - r. Sn T Ira -' k- Panel p.m. 2:00-3:3- 0 am your quflan armmt J I Can Omm U C. EfouQl-i- t Univmttty Coltfig Einstein. Einstein liked neither the goan-n- a nor Garret Peevie. No one is quite sure if the term pet peeve evolved from Peevie's irritating pet, or from Einstein's irritating friend Peevie perpetually trying to pawn this pet onto Einstein. Either way, most of this story $ crap aside from the part about the raolassis. Pet peeves rar.je from the serious to the ridiculous. Some people are annoyed by had drivers while others are annoyed by blind drivers. Some arc snnoyed by everyone from people who can't shut up in a theater, to the people who can't shut up at ail, to the people who dedicate an entire column to the etymology of the term pet peeve. We human beings are bombarded dally with sn esdxaght of unwarranted nuisances known as ccch other. And how do we vk;l v.iih these , nuisances? Well, it seems columnists often find it healthy to pro- r.itv f:cn error clairo their in . fl X .;.-) ou cf the bf political diiere mis th.t pLue our : ; ni-iU- $0 1 Ut : a t'-- to you by: Advising. 681-814- 6, 450 SS3 1 UvvLt it 0 fcr--- t k i rr rave to b ck sv.d it:p remind ourselves thl vhHs the o:'ccr.ionil oplnicn : .'Ja Is it is, In hct !, ely to be tothix more than rfrjitated kindled ly our iaiMlity to uitirnatrly find a conp rorcsi-i- ' to ' ' (!! ;e iiucs. In short, there ?re ti , the k-cf. v. J4 needs At t! t:; of tisrs list are opinions at i;: . the lir.J that are so vcherr.f- - ihit t'.ry build '.vailt hctAt ; . Ic. i r.ot St., mw 3,i-- then, j'.' he better for people j just sit fciclr and slightly i each to revel in the of a world free from fanatical opinions and soiled with idle pet peeves? Chris welcomes feeahcuk at: rvo-ktlorsr- y, . r. l t-- ctir cyeateschronick.otah.edu I have heard Bill Maher say far more offensive things on "Politically Incorrect" than calling American war strategies cowardly, and yet, in the current social climate, he is lucky to be alive. We expect comedians and hosts to tread lightly right now, but we will have to calm down if we want to move on. If they don't have the tact and good sense to ease back into their punch lines, just let them offend people; it will only make the nationalistic spirit that much greater. Let Jay Leno continue his jokes about how Bill Clinton (when will it stop!) sleeps in as many beds as Osama Bin Laden; it only helps my argument that David Letterman is better. As we all attempt to get back on our feet, we can't reject that it is American good or bad. If the networks want to entice viewers by making their logos red, white and blue permanently, it's fine with me. Comedians who offend us have also entertained us, so I say let it fly at least they will create a heated argument somewhere. overI live in this weight and often irreverent country and, to be honest, I wouldn't want it any other way. If returning to normal means regressing to our old vices, more power to us. Jennifer welcomes feedback at: talk-sho- over-spendin- Collegiate Rm. .c Cv chronicle licti DailyVTAH C i attempted to rid himself of the pest by leaving him to climb Mr. regu- g, jmitchelIchronicle.utah.edu w |