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Show 8 THE DAILY UTAH CHRONICLE MARCH 21, 2001 WEDNESDAY. Emotional Health A Intellectual Health body mind spirit Physical Health Social Health FOR STUDENTS STUDENTS BY Spiritual Health by Jesse Morris So in you're love. You've finally met someone who meets all of your expectations. You'd do anything for this son. Wait, anything? You put up with their per- odd habits, their strange study and sleep- their demanding schedules, ing patterns', their ex's calling constantly; however, there is a limit. A limit that defines a healthy relationship vs. an unhealthy one. recent survey conducted by the U.S. National Institute of Justice, 25 In a of women reported experiencing intimate-partne- r violence at some point in their lives (so did 7.5 of men). That's bad enough, but figures like these may be a low estimate. 'The percentage is not as important as the understanding that the numbers are probably of Alternatives to Domestic Violence: A Homework Manual for Battering Intervention much higher due to under reporting of abuse," said Kevin Fall, co-auth- Groups. Fall states that abuse victims of all ages tend to under report; that Violence? Intimate-Partne- r Sure, you are going to argue with your partner sometimes that's natural. The problem occurs when r jealousy), and these are enough to control and inspire fear in a partner. "As the perpetrator begins to feel less and less in exact way that relationship violence happens isn't that has nothing to do with the other partner- - "the perpe- as important as understanding how it happens. trator's behavior will intensify and lead to physical control" and this -- is So, is your significant oilier abusive? Here are some signs of a battering personality: Jealousy- - lieshe may say that jealousy is only a sign of love Controlling Behavior- - partner may insist that heshe is concerned for your safety Quick Involvement (knew partner less than 6 months before married, engaged or living together) Unrealistic Expectations- - you can't be perfect Isolalion- - do you Mill see your family and friends? Blames Others (you?) for problems Hypersensitivity- abuser is easily hurt' Cruelly to animals or children. "Playful" Use of Force in Sex Verbal Abuse Rigid Sex Koles- - femalepassive, maledominant One minute this person is nice, the other heshe is exploding Past Battering Threats of violence to control your actions Breaking or striking objects Any force during an argument ,; FaU. of Physically abusing a partner is pretty much an r.Twrr.immmiv- crime. equal-opportunit- races, ages, genders, sexual orientations, socioeconomic strata, and geographic locations are included. Violence and abuse can be broken down into a 1. cycle: Tension Building Stage Feeling of "walking on eggshells" Victim may try to be perfect to prevent more abuse 2. Abusive Incident Stage The tension explodes in a physical or emotionally abusive incident. The victim is often blamed for the incident and may blame themselves. 3. Loving Behavior (Honeymoon) Stage The abuser apologizes, begs for forgiveness, and promises that it won't happen again. Physical intimacy is often coerced. Tension starts to build again, and the cycle starts over. Intervention Family Support Center Intermountain Specialized Abuse Treatment Center UofU Counseling Center Women's Resource Center are willing to assist. E 800-897-54- Alternatives to Domestic Violence: A 801 -- 581-682- 6 581-803- 0 486-9805 Other resources: National Crime Prevention Council (U.S.). "Myths Feed Denial About Family Violence" National Institute of Justice: www.ncjrs.org For more information about Student Health Service, SHAC. or Head to Toe contact Head to Toe Edited by: Todd Hofeling & Alicia Bremness S85-S29- viu.ViiTTtrimiA.l the physical act." All ... Homework Manual for Battering Intervention Groups. " and traumatic as 24 Hour Crisis the Domestic Violence packet handed out at the Utah Issues 2000 Conference, and from: Kevin : ! The fear of the physical violence occurring again makes the more cover forms of abuse as potent you need help, several agencies National Domestic Violence Hotline Domestic Violence Info Hotline This information was compiled from co-auth- "Often, men will say they have only been physical once," Fall said, "but that is because once works. are the abusers? - ' once, and the perception can be that no problem exists. This may just mean, however, that there is ' another kind of problem. an internal process Who ' Sometimes, this point of physical violence only happens abuse (limiting contact with friends, or intense hitting another, or maybe rape. But defining the No matter how perfect you think your partner is, and how sorry heshe may seem, it is important to seek help immediately if you recognize any of these patterns in your relationship. There may not be any easy solutions but there arc things that can be done. violence such as pushing, hitting or kicking," Fall says. one-tim- e (demeaning names, yelling, cursing) and emotional this argument is about your freedom- - what you can and cannot do, and when your emotional and thing that comes to mind may be one partner violence is not a incident; it's a process, exacted over time, designed to control one's partner. Often it starts out with verbal abuse Intimate-partne- physical health and safety is at risk. When we think of relationship violence, the first they often feel too afraid, ashamed, or embarrassed to come physically forward, and are much greater. so the numbers of those who have been physically assaulted What is is, Funded in part by the University of Utah Publications Council. Designed by Amber Lee Smith -- |