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Show THE DAILY UTAH CHRONICLE 8 TUESDAY, OCTOBER 24, 2000 . 5"5 . La Una hm continued from page 7 r - IM for health and academic performance, but actually getting it is usually easier said than done. As Nicole Andersen, a sophomore in biology, puts it, "I'm barely surviving on the amount of sleep I get I want to get to bed earlier, but somehow the day ends and I still have a million things to do." According to the Better Sleep Council, even if you can't cut back on school and personal commitments, you can practice "sleep hygiene." Good sleep hygiene means controlling your sleeping environment by adjusting noise level, temperature, and comfort. Buying sound condi- O S1C1 GARDNER CONCERT HALL NEW PLACE FOR MUSIC LI BBY ...j(aying of verve, styCistic jnirity and impeccahCe artistry. One is constancy impressed hy their a9i(ity to achieve thefuCC the ckrity sonority of a string orchestra, without sacrificing and utter precision of QJew York a string auartet." October 24tk at 730 p.m. tioning machines, adjustable beds, body pillows, comfortahle pajamas or even trying aromatherapy are some ways to increase relaxation. In addition, avoiding caffeine and alcohol, cutting down on stress levels, and never exercising or eating before bed are also ways to improve sleep. One of the most important factors, however, is getting a regular schedule. Going to bed at the same time and getting up at the same time everyday, including weekends, will put your body back into the rhythm it needs. For most students, this is next to impossible when the weekend rolls around and they have the opportunity to party all night Nick Parry, a junior studying computer science, knows this urge all too well, but still advocates for sleep. "You have to try a regular schedule for at least a week. I've been trying it for a while, and it makes such a big difference in my day you have no idea." Sleep, like eating and breathing, is an unavoidable part of life that has to be paid attention to. It may be the hardest for college students who never have the time, but students are also the group that needs it the most So, the next time you're tempted to think of all the pull an be doing to yourself in damage you'll If that doesn't work, the long run. then think about all the times you've woken up in a puddle of drool on your desk and the imprint of your textbook on the side of your face. 'fimes (80D Additional 581-71- 00 2000-200- 1 Virtuoso Series Concerts Mickafl Brecker, Novsmter 30. 2000 HillUni Ensemble, January 16. 2001 Trio, January rr 18. 2001 osku Bell. February 7. 2001 Tke Billy Taylor Trio, February Garrick Oklsson, For Nope, you can't make fun of dead dogs-th- will at upset the Humane Society people. tutions make a lot of money. God has no sense of humor at all. That's why Ke made blasphemy such a serious sin. He knew we'd all be joking it up, laughing about how God showed Moses his butt and how some dude got nuked because he didn't take sex seriously see above. But it's naughty to find humor in God's ways. Doing so could get you into some serious trouble, young man. It could cali your church membership into question. sure, He wants you for a Sunbeam, but you better watch it boy because if you giggle during those parts of "Monty Python and the Holy Grail" when God talks, then you better prepare for living in heat more terrible sun. than the noon-da- y there's So, basically, nothing left to write about anymore. There's nothing left to make us laugh, there's nothing to entertain us, there's nothing to make us forget about our miserable existence. Nope, you can't make fun of dead dogs that will upset the Humane Society people. Think sex is funny? Well I'm willing to bet some nuns don't appreciate the sexual references on UNIVERSITY OF UTAH STUDENT HALF PRICE Brooks de is religious stuff. God forbid we make fun of religious stuff oops. I mean "gosh." Religion in these parts is serious business, and if you know what I mean about business, you should be ashamed of yourself and should repent for insinuating certain insti- - God never laughs at himself. Yeah Tfclcet information; Goluk-Kaplan-O- GOD continued from page 7 WeHer-Smit- 18. 2001 February 23. 2001 April 1 2001 k, i complete brochure, call 587-94- 83 "Friends." humorFind ous? You sick bastard, how does that make all the people in the nursing homes feel? great-grandmothe- rs George F O S. V and Dolores Dure Eccles N kuer FM90 MIDI A 1) T I O Dare chuckle at things religious? N Well pal, forget it unless you want to spend eternity in hell, sent there by a loving but very unfunny God. So sorry readers, I've got no humor column for you today. I'm sucked dry. 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