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Show The Daily Utah Chronicle Friday June 2, 1993 13 Bob Gehrke: He!s Falling Down, so you better watch it No. That was a cheap shot: decap or something in this guy's s service are general direction and the guy got Parking nice people which leads one to this wild, crazed look in his eyes believe that the administration is and started shouting "Damn you! who made a deal with the devil. Damn you to hell!!!" We took the One has to wonder, if you make guy to Denny's because he seemed a deal with the devil, are there like the type of person we like to perks that go along with it, like hang out with. deviled ham and devils food cakes. Mmmm....devil's food cake. Doesn't make spending The who climbed the ticket-giver- . . late, I'm tired and I want to home. But as legendary and my personal namesake poet Robert Frost once wrote, "I'm reeaaaallUy too drunk to be driv- It's ing"; funny sometimes, Sometimes it's funny in a "ha ha" way and other times it's the kind of funny that builds from the pit of a man's soul into a sort of a crazed, maniacal cackling. I like the "ha ha" kind of funny better. Speaking of funny, one year I took a trip to Greeley, hell-fir- e mm and and that I've been drink- it's not ing. It's just the fact that I know if I drive, that means I have to park and if I have to park chances are No,- Life's Colo. While I was there this guy bet me $73 I couldn't eat damnation seem all that bad, mountain shook his head, turned 13 Big Hunks in 20 minutes. does it? I lost the bet, but I got to trekked back down A buddy of mine is around keep the six Big Hunks I. did damned to hell. We were the mountain, cm hey! Bald guys eat, and man, dem Big Hunks is good eatin'l the street one walking down, nuthin. know don't this It reminds me of a book I day and guy was talking read once. It was about this to his friend Neil, but judging clown who was really sad all from the way his chin was the time. is in his chest and the a Actually, that was all of planted firmly Denny's pretty good place 1 read. It wasn t lack late of a friend his to if and s at the book at it very go really night apparent nice I decided if ask Neil and so to play Sega. have we must side, good you're hungry, you guessed been in his pants. ly, Richard will bring you water. If My upstairs neighbors just we who you don't ask nicely he might do bought a llama and a trampoline. Anyway, my buddy, will call Stu for purposes of some sort of wild table dance that Sometimes late at night I'll go up anonymity, kicked a pebble or bot- - I'm pretty sure is illegal in this to their apartment and jump on it eternity in ' : - state. Moral of the story: Ask nice. my good friends at university parking services will be lurking in the bushes waiting to pounce on . my car. Of course maybe lurking in the bushes waiting to give tickets is better than the other things they do while lurking in the bushes. without asking. They'll come out and shout "Get the hell off the trampoline,'' but I just laugh because I know they don't know I'm jumping on the llama. If you can't laugh at yourself, who can you laugh at, except maybe people who are dumber than you. It reminds me of a story I heard once. There was this guy who climbed all the way to the top of the mountain to find out the secret of life. He got to the top of the mountain there was this little old bald man there. The man who climbed the mountain shook his head, turned around and trekked back down the mountain, cuz hey! Bald guys don't know nuthin. Like Forrest Gump said, "Life's like a $2 whore. You never know what you're going to get." Of course if you plan on parking at the U., you'll probably get it from behind. Viva Marco! Long live the king! Martin from page 12 for Public Broadcasting. Actually, I consider high taxes a restriction of my basic freedoms. If I paid less taxes I could use that money to take my family to Pioneer Theatre or I could put money toward my education. Shouldn't the choice be mine? ':; Also listed was the dubious right to be protected from public prayer. Actually, I don't want the government to shield me from the prayers of other people. I find the religious beliefs of others very interesting and I resent a third party attempting to protect me from them. If I am offended I . - AH U of U Insignia Merchandise, Y'vA (kS Clothing, Glassware, Novelties, Etc. lfitlmaUof UlbgcPonit 1 It reads, "Congress shall make no law concerning an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof." I don't see how public prayer could be considered an establishment of religion, as long as there are no regulations as to who is to do it and how it is to be done. The prayer that opens each session of This kind of thinking is very dangerous. A continually growing list of rights will guarantee this country will never come to grips with its mushrooming deficits which threaten the nation's very survival. The editorial went on to the American people. Personally I have only felt guilty after doing something I felt was wrong. If the' Editorial Board is feeling guilty. I would suggest the source of that guilt is related to publishing flimsy editorials rather than the efforts of the Christian Coalition. ' - ... senior - . - ' V ' ; rna ,t: ..'iff .' ;". S 'i "AH CD's & Prerecorded Audio Tapes t U AH General Books Magazines , Briefcases, Fine Vinyl Padfolios, .it'eAtt u ; & Business-- Accessories - t . QPen . ; ". w Sets. Pencil and Microsoft . ., - ftordperfect Office Standard & Professional reg. $159 to $235 All Laptop Carrying Cases ti -'. iKC fc- - If ' 'IMS , Targus & Sampsonite brands reg. iy 10 j w mm Till rr X X V4 theo- that the Christian Coalition is attempting to pass iu agenda by inflicting a collective guilt trip on rize , K June '5 -- 9 Y" can leave. But please, let me decide. Where does this idea of freedom from religion come from anyway? The pur--, pose of the First Amendment is to place limitations .on government, ' ' not citizens. Congress is a good example. On the other hand, laws prohibiting prayer in public places seem to clearly violate the free exercise clause as well as the right to freedom of speech. The editorial board should be more careful about what activities they label as a constitutional right. Simply because the government implements a program to provide a service does not mean that service becomes a right. , q0 liedaJ ; Corporation Tom Martin political science BOOKSTORE ONOVERSD TY UNIVERSITY ' - , , AH U-- ' ',. , HUMistiii sil, 'mJ "l . OF : - DsfMTtnsftfK " PmtrAt omjM odKti CAMPUS . swrtad ; : . 7MSura(t). . |