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Show 12 Tuesday, April 4, 1995 The Daily Utah Chronicle Net provides chance to slam unwanted entrepreneurs Brandon Burt The document explored issues useful to new users, not only of alt.athe-isbut of all newsgroups. In it I discovered a truth which changed my virtual life: it is extremely easy in an electronic medium to appear an asshole. In fact, many of the psychotic jerks having virtual discussions. In fact, I became a virtual bore. My conversation became peppered with terms like "ftp site" and r: The Chronicle However, even though I was i Editorial spending hours a day posting to news- 1 C.nlumnict groups and catching up on all the junk mail I foolishly requested, I remained a clueless newbie for an inordinate amount of time. thrill of receiving had off. The initial excitement of conversing with strange people in Australia and Massachusetts on topics ranging from exotic piercing to die evolution of English dialects had lessened. I had "unsubscribed" to every mailing list. I was using the "kill" command with increasing homicidal frequency. Although I could type the ":)" smiley with amazing rapidity, I was finding less and less opportunity in my correspondence to do so. The symptoms were unmistakable. I had succumbed to Internet malaise. After I first opened my account last summer, I spent every spare moment on the Net, making virtual friends, For one thing, whenever I posted messages, no matter how much acerbic irony and biting wit I put In fact, many of the psychotic jerks inhabiting thejfet are not really psychotic jerks at into these electronic missives, when it came out the other end of the phone lines, that wit and irony was somehow transformed into whiny sarcasm and hysterical, all, but only newbtes, much like myself who have taken anevilaUu blind intolerance. After being mail-bombe- out of d several newsgroups, I thought, "Hmm ... Perhaps I ought to research this 'Internet' a htdc further." After a small amount of exploration, I was rewarded with a sort of newbie grail. It was the FAQ, (frequently asked questions) document for the alt.atheism newsgroup. inhabiting the Net are not really psychotic jerks at all, but only newbies, much like myself, who have taken an evil path. Armed with the FAQ, I proceeded to yet another newsgroup (one of the good tilings about the newsgroups is that there are so many of them, you're bound to set the fight tone sooner or later). There I met a group with just the right amount of whimsy and imagination, without a complete and utter the Internet still held, it Was soon to come to an end. I knew that soon it would just full of nothi- imbalance of Monty Python or become like television ng- Douglas Adams arcana. This time I did as the alt.atheism FAQ,said: I read the new group's FAQ, and read a lot of posts to that group before getting the nerve to post myself. - v.. But then, something interesting happened. All these net.meanies who had previously been jumping all over me for my stupidity orchestrated a huge mail bomb. The entrepreneur's sysop later posted a message that the man had Things were going extremely well. I found myself having a really good time. Suddenly, however, the idyll was shattered. I dialed up one day and found that some entrepreneur had post- lost his account. This is the kind of creative, courageous act which I now know is commonplace on the Internet. I was never tempted to use the Net to start a pyramid scheme, but if I ever had been, this display of firepower would have quickly dissuaded me. ed all over the newsgroup: "MAKE MONEY FAST!!!" This wasn't just some newbie gone bad. This was capitalism trying to put the thin end of its wedge The Internet does not belong to indeed, people of any one nation many cultures and nationalities lend their personalities to it. Lucky for us, there are lots of people out there watching to make sure that America doesn't have a chance to ruin it before it has a chance to get into the global anarchy of the Internet He even had the nerve to suggest that faculty and students were "abusing the Internet" by trying to keep the moneychangers out. It was the beginning of the end. I knew that whatever chaotic beauty started. Chronicle Business Hours Monday through Friday 8 am to 5 pm 581-704- Letter Policy Because stuff Happens. Hey this is corporate America. We have to keep 1 of all "Letters to the Editor" is an open forum to people it. clears sions. However, letters persua- of a scurrilous or libelous nature, or those which demean of threaten harm to any individual or group based on race, gender, sexual orientation or religion will not be considered for publication. Letters must be typed and signed and may be edited for style and space. To ensure that letters are not submitted under false names, The Chronicle's editorial staff must speak with every letter writer before publication. Letters from those with unlisted phone numbers must now submit their letters in person with a picture I.D. at The Chronicle office, room 240 Union. l it . It ilffiHffltffHilf W VISA Kaplan helps you focus your test prep study where you need It the most We'll show you the proven skills and test- - r you w&xtt to be! -- tawng teenmques mat . eet helor vou r a a higher i ' score. . -- ft VM ; get a HIGHER :nnI l,r r0 in IU SCORE n I : iilMti 11111(41(1 mint, iHm jrft 1 signup TODAY!! CViMttf.A.Ine.199 1 Dcjn Year CtxzClzz TODAY! 363- 4 444 nn |