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Show ; pa-- nine the receiver. But surely that's nothing to brag about You can get that sort of treatment at a local NOW It's probably not possible. So. let's talk about something else instead. Something like m listing all the words writers can use fart, frick, frack, flip, pick, pickin', schmud. schmuck. sugar, rigglefrick. hootefred, Into the service Valley City 1993; "Rather than calling it the reigning year, the Miss America pageant calls it the 'year of service,'" she said. , The community service portion also provides approximately $70,000 in scholarships based solely on the project - ,. However, while any service to the community is productive, it is different when pageant queens get involved. "It's kind of like getting arrested and being forced to do it" Mazaheri 'said. "They' areril going to do as good of a job if their heart : w isn't In it" Also, service may be donated in other ways,' according to Mazaheri. "Women can show that they are interested in the community by getting involved in things like women's organizations, lobbying Congress or recruiting volunteers. There are a million other things than pageants," Mazaheri said.' ' For her platform, . Wallin acquired reading materials for inmates at the Utah State Prison and the Salt Lake County Jail. "I have raised over 1,000 books w, - . of a biscuit, darn, heck, gosh darn, rats, shoot, frig, shtarch-lic- k. beach bail, tool, buttwipe. buttscab, buttcrusty, fudge and rice, cheese and rice, geez, geez non-swe- ar TrK MM And that's what this world needs more of. Well, it could also use a few more bands doing disco covers. boogers, bum, dadgum. daggum, bum sniffer, fart knocker, sod, oh A ; 3 K words that can be used by future Chronicle staffers to avoid controversy. Of course you can combine any or all of these words to make new words. Therefore, with this information, the Chronicle should never again have to receive hate mail about the nonessential use of swear ' words. V I feel this is the best I can do to leave a legacy of louise, crock, drat, curses, v pageant. It caught on nationwide; each reigning queen must select and contribute to a cause during her year-lon- g reign, according to Brooke Anderson, Miss West it. cumquat. ding dong. dang, son one will listen to us, because some sporting event will proba- community but-tbuiscu- schnorthort. scunch. make a fitting speech about how the year went and how we contributed to the greater good of the campus through informative, columns. There is. Erovoking guarantee that any- from page nine To give further dimension to beauty queens, Utah incorporated . instead of damn. fuck. shit, hell, or other obscenities: fetch, fudge, ages, of the intoxicating sort It is here that we can get up and pageants motherscratcher. ; I These are just a few of the almost limitless bounty of useful : some downtown hotel with a stale Smith's relish tray and. "" potato chips for food. There is. however, no shortage of bever- 1 nuts and bolts, holy mother, holy t $ - -- meeting. We do at least have a farewell party. It usually takes place in a small rented reception room at bly be on TV. my heck, fetchin darn. nuts, cow. boogers. drugs, oh my struck by a problem: How do word, oh my goodness, oh my you wrap up a seven-mont- h stars, oh my honk, for land career of writing drivel that sakes. fiddlesticks, good grief, didn't even inspire one piece of suck a duck, stinkin', crud. dink, hate mail? prick, jerk. turd, weenie, and - from A So. the only real chance for me to wrap things up is here, in my (cry. sniff) final column. But I'm jobs now, and to speak in front of beauty queens nationwide, accord-- . audiences, she said. "I have been ing to Berrett These funds have able to speak in Canada, Idaho and helped Wallin continue her educaall over Utah and set a good examtion at the U., she said. for lot a of kids." , The scholarship money is a posiple Wallin also feels more comforttive resource for women, Smith able in expressing her thoughts to said, but they should not win it by an audience. "I feel like I can speak showing their bodies. "It just in front of groups," she said. , boosts the male ego, giving them a Wallin also learned to express an free look," Smith said. "Nobody opinion. When the interviewing runs around in a swimsuit, and we judges questioned her values, she don't parade around in a gown." said the opportunity to defend her The Miss America Pageant beliefs was valuable. "This has began solely as a beauty contest in shown me that I have an opinion 1921 when it was called "The and that it matters." Atlantic City Bathing Beauty These skills are only useful for ' Contest," Berrett said. But today it certain kinds of careers, though, ' is set up to help the contestants ' "fcnd be teach their Beverly Smith, Utah state coordinator of NOW, said. Utah women "able to deal with situations in the ' - " utilize the pageants "to try and get real world. ' As the director.of he Miss into the more glamorous type careers," she added. However, Sandy pageant for 16 years, Berrett Smith credits Utah contestants ' said she has seen many women f with treach a potential they never beauty. have seen so many; n; :tThe beauty pageants Jiave also U dreamed? evolved into scholarship pageants. "girls just blossom, they find3 out There is approximately $10 million Equalities about themselves that total in scholarships available to they never knew they had." " . fesr full mMm CHRONICLE PHOTOJonMhan Barth Ruth Mestas (left) and Sylvia Lewis (right) of the mood disorders clinic. a short period of time following the experiment, Olsen said. "Patients can (also have three free follow-u- p visits until they are stabifrom page ten from eight weeks to one year, accordlized with their own doctor." Lewis , said. Or if patients do not have a ing to Lewis. Participants for drug testing are physician, the clinic often will prerecruited via advertisements and priscribe medication and inform them of vate doctors. They must be fairly sta- ' their community resources, accordble outpatients without suicidal or ing to Olsen. homicidal tendencies, Lewis said. Although they specialize in mood disorders, the clinic is also currently Participants benefit from the experiments, with a free evaluation, diagtesting a drug to help patients with nosis, physical examination and regschizophrenia. "We have found that ular psychiatric visits, Olsen said. it treats psychotic and mood disorPerhaps the greatest benefit is the ders and doesn't have the side effects free medication outpatients receive in that many other drugs do," Olsen exchange for their participation in said. The studies also test the potential research, Ruth Mestas, study coordinator said. of current medications in a range of areas. For instance, researchers are Despite the amenities, participants the when trauma may experience studying Prozac's effect on patients medication and services cease. with eating disorders such as anorexia and bulimia. However, the clinic has established a compassionate extensions program For more information, contact the in which drug manufacturers allow University of Utah Mood Disorders the patient to use the medication for Ciinic at w m.,m clinic 581-88- - 06 full-potent- ial ;: . . U7f. , t Ily t? rcu3 piHb rib CtrcJcb 1: d '...-- - - ' All positions '94-'9- 5 , available for the school year available, v v- . .240 Union www, stores, churches and civic groups," - she said nuu me iai!iiui9 aio wen received in Utah. "There" are a lot of people in Utah who are very pro-wom- ana support scnoiar- - en shln- nrnorams tnr wnmAn.". 1- t :.r-o-- -- Nfiilsfin saiH While leadership and communi . ty service are viable skills, the pageant also enables women to improve on their talents, according to Anderson, who became involved very reason, "The availability to perform really intrigued me," Anderson, a bal-- . let major at the U said. "I have been able to Set goals that I never thought I could achieve. It makes you work harder to be the best that you can be and I feel that I am real-l- y just competing against myself rather than the other girls." Since the talent competition is weighted so heavily, women are encouraged to practice and perfect their talents, she added. "Utah is d and many really parents put their kids into lessons : to improve their talents." . .t 1W. ine interview experience is aisu useful to reigning queens, according to Anderson. By utilizing skills she feels were polished through the pageant system, Anderson got a job for which more than 1,000 other people interviewed. It is much easier to interview for OFFICER SELECTIONS Apply by June 8th in OSH 253. Kaplan believes in this: do it And do it again. It's a sure-fir- e way to build confidence and speed, and overcome weak areas. So we give you practice opportunities. More complete -- ; KflJEUUDUa . : 118 tl I! II practice than any other company. Practice questionswith fully explained answers. Released tests. 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