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Show LEHI FREE PRESS, LEHI, UTAH 7 ;&a I fll ppifkku n RIGHT, ALL HAND OVER. RIGHT SOME O' THEM THERE NEWSPAPERS, FOUR, r.i The preacher was giving his con-- i on drinkgregation a heated sermon ing. "If I had every drop of liquor in this town, i a aump u m uc n. he After a few more comments "if I had every . Idrop of liquor in the state I'd dump hit in the river." He ended his shouting: "If I had every drop I of liquor in the United States I'd dump it in the river." Then he called for a song. I The choir director made the following request: "The congregation will please stand while we sing 0 'Shall We Gather at the River.' " tf -v I . x i J VEAW- -- ' ' i 'I i , I V .jf "" - InU .IWI" OKI NOW J ser-imo- n, it IJ r i ( BE MUST A jt I VA "One minute you say you can hardly wait for Saturday and the next you say you dread to have Saturday come around." "Woii ion sa I eet ftftv dollars every Saturday, and my husband comes down the same a ay. . COME ffTfo II III! FOR.K 'EM OVER- - Luxurious lace of undreamed of beauty is this for tea or dinner table! A crochet hook, some string and the clearly stated direction of this pattern are all you need to get started. Though the finished piece gives the effect of two squares, it takes but one 5 inch "key" square, Jt0 1 ; ALL SsTrinrr rfnH But One Square . 11 , - fr Kit : 11' Events in the Lives of Little Men ui ! 1 OUR COMIC SECTION 1 S vn ruuKa rfiMixr. -- i i j REASON ' ONE IN EACH FLOCK Pattern in4Tf repeated, to give this rich effect. Here's loveliness with durability for years to come whether your choice is a cloth, spread, scarf, buffet set or other accessory. In pattern 5845 you will find complete - instructions for making the square shown ; an illustration of it and of all stitches used; material requirements. Send 15 cents in stamps or coins for this pattern (coins "Don't you know, dearie, that to The preferred)Circle Household Sewing that suit is attracting a lot of at- Arts Dept., 259 W. Fourteenth St., tention? " New York, N. Y. "It didn't when it was hanging write your name, adPlease window." In the store dress and pattern number plainly. Folks talk about dfpreajt T sum nAkGER THESE MVS-BUTHEY'LL AEVER MEET ANV THATL COMPARE WITH THE DtW&JO LURKED 'CROSS THE TRACKS, WHEtJ WE DELIVERED OUR. PAPERS "Jack's mother used to call him her pet lamb." rs- - whw ''Now his old man says he's the fclack sheep." , Left Out Little Bobby, aged seven, came Into the house looking somewhat puzzled. ; Mother," he said, "why is it tome people are so rich and we're so poor?" "I guess it's just God's will," she replied. Bobby pondered a moment and then asked: "Why weren't we mentioned in God's will, mother?" f "7 The 7 VJAKE HUH I CARE y i p.utIT m. W F AWSWER I HEY' Tw? PHOME S ( ll a, " UP' GOKlsIA DOsif tT LET BUT IF IT IS U- -7 FOR I ENCOURAGEMENT it is. tear HOW LONG CAN A 'NA IT UP- NOT INTERESTED t SET HER HOLD may be selfish, unsympathetic, but that'i the way they're made and you might a well realize it. When your back aches and your nnrvoa scream, don't take It out on your husband, lie can't possibly know how you foci. For three generations one woman has told another how to go "smil's ing through" with Lydia E. Vegetable Compound. It the system, helps Nature tone up thus lessoning tlio discomforts from which disordors functional the women must endure In the three ordeals of life: X. Turning from girlhood to womanhood. 2. Preparing for motherhood. 3. Approaching "middle age." wife, Don't be a take LYDIA E. PINKHAM'8 and COMPOUND VEGETABLE Go "Smiling Through." "Why don't you put up your fly screens?" "Not so loud; the wife bought a lot of fly paper at a sale and wants marked: "He sure ain't foolin' nobody but Jiisself." If " United Kingdom Rector Good morning, Brown, I hear you have a son and heir? Brown Yes, sir. Our household now represents the United Kingdom. Rector How is that? Brown Why, you see, I am English, my wife's Scottish, the nurse is vVTV- V4HAT V - IT? WAS CALLED ? WAS ITFOR Illk WHO Pink-faam- to get her money's worth." V SIMPLE MATTER wELr three-quart- ' 1 PHOTOGRAPHY That's News Reporter I've got a perfect news story. BOLLS DEVELOPED The man bit the dog? Reporter N aw; a bull threw a .congressman. City Editor Modern One Vic Is her father the kind to pursue if you eloped? Al No. He's the kind who would move so you couldn't find him when you returned. A Competition "What rivals those two girls are in dress." "Yes, each tries to outstrip the uAMuwttr rare By Osborne MMvm inuKfl Nartk Dafc ' REAL ESTATE HELP.' I AMD BEEM I TOD can ell, or trade your farm or ranch for a home or apartment in Salt Lake. Write or wire HAD ME BAG- - FULL OF OATMEAL SAMPLES AND ROBBED COME VjiTM "I'm sorry you don't know that fellow over there. I'd like an troduction." "Don't let that worry you. introduce you." ME I other." Bert C. Palmer 16 West in- tnt Bo. Salt Lake City "Alwayi a$ Represented" I'll WNU EVERT LITTLE IIELPS TRUE TO LIFE ill 3537 W GET RID OF PIMPLES flew Remedy Uses Magnesia to Clear Skin.Firms and Smooths Complexion Makes Skin Look Years Younger. flit Get rid "What's the trouble. Percy? You look annoyed." "Josephine called me a fool." "Don't mind her. That girl never lid have any tact." v-- Sl,- f CAM I HELP IT "Last year 1 got two weeks off for my vacation. This year the boss says I can get away for only one What's a Stone? MacAngus That's a verra braw b diamond, MacTavish. Ye say left it to ye when he died, but I dinna recollect any such thing in tiis will. MacTavish Losh, man, ye didna read it richt. Ke left feefty punds for a memorial stone, and this is it. week." "Going to take it, of course 1" "Sure. Half a loaf's better than none, you know." ' Mac-Na- ACCOMPLISHMENT Still Burning Sandy 1 bet you can't give me bit of poetry by Robert Burns. ' Eck That's easy: Robert sits on the fire Robert Burns. t It Wasn't There Professor I forgot my umbrella this morning. Student How did you remember you forgot it? " Professor Well, I missed it when I raised my hand to close it after it liad stopped raining. Oops of ugly, pimply kin with thla extraordinary new remedy. Denton's Facial Magnesia works miracles in clearing up a spotty, roughened complexion. Even the first few treatment make a noticeable diiierence. The ugly pots gradually wipe sway, big pores grow smaller, the texture of the kin itself becomes firmer. Before you know it friends ere complimenting you on your complexion. SPECIAL OFFER for a few weeks only Here is your chance to try out Denton's Facial Magnesia a t a liberal saving. We will send you a full 6 ox. bottle of Denton's, plus a regular size box of famous Milnesia Wafers (the original Milk of Mlgnesia tablets) . ..both for only 60cl Cash in on this remarkable oiler. Send 60c in cash or stamps today. DENTON'S M'-'Cui- re i HUSBAND? have to work at marrUgs YOU make aucoNM of It. Mea Poor Joking colored boy was strolling through the cemetery reading the inscriptions on the tombstones. He ame to one which read: "Not dead, but sleeping." Scratching his head, the boy re- & WIFE THREE-QUARTE- R A Irish, and the baby wails 5845. Facial Magnesia (tFirr.T PRODUCTS. Inc. OFF THE PROGRAM lif?? J ! Professor I won't begin today's lecture until the room settles down. "Hubby dearl Let's do something Voice (from, the rear) Go home different tonight, something unand sleep it off, old man. C. C. usual." "All right Wine, let's stay home.' H. Y. Mercury. Back to Earth He had succeeded in selling the most expensive on the stand, and was mentally spending the commission, when the customer's voice brought him back to earth. "There's just one little adjustment that I would like you to make," she said. "Yes, madam?" "We're not fitted with electricity," she told him. "Will you please have it converted to gas?" all-mai- n Urns Wsad City, N. V. EacloMd ihul 60o taiapa) lor which wnd m youi nxclal Introductory combination. IN THE LIMELIGHT 4W2-2- 3rd (ch radio-gramopho- ne S St IJ CUT s can float, too. He She Dad always said you were a floater. 1 I in the Bugtown hotel. Smm Strt Addr hear you have a new job? Firefly Yes, I'm the cigar lighter Bug Sb-M-t . S'' j |