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Show LEHI FREE PRESS. LEHl, UTAH HIS HUNCH Scraps OUR COMIC SECTION D ' if! r r&l mm "What is your Ides of disinterest ed patriotism?" "A brass band." answered Senator Sorghum. "It will play with equal enthusiasm any kind of a political procession that manages to get the right f way." fr 0 Events in the Lives of Little Men LIKE SOME VOTERS OVeratady "A man must be a student all his daya to hold a position like yours," remarked the admiring constituent. BELIEVE IT, OR NOT "That la very true," answered SenaA dear old lady was shocked at tor Sorghum, "and, like a student I the lurid language of two electri- get so weary of hard lessons th&t 1 cians who were working in her am going to organize a movement to bouse, and complained to the com include a sports page in the ConRecord." Washington pany, in due course the two men gressional were sent for and asked for an ex Star. planation. Hi. Idea "Well, sir," aald one, "it was like Wlfey Tou'rt spending too piuch this. I was up the ladder and I let Sunday School Teacher Why waa money foolishly on tobacco! the hot lead fall on DHL It went it that David said he would rather Hubby What't the trouble do yoo down his neck. And Bill, he said to be a doorkeeper in the house of the vant a new dress? me. Ton really will have to be more Lord? careful, Jack." Bright Boy So he could go outBROWS AND BROWS side if he didn't like the. sermon. Pathfinder Magazine, And He Cot Away With It Tour confounded hair restorer has made my hair come out more Unutterable Emotion than evert" growled the customer. "Now, then, what should a polite "Ah, you must have put too much little boy say to a lady who has on, slrr replied the quick witted given him a cent for carrying her barber. "Made the hair come all the grip?" "rm too polite to say It madam." way out, instead of only halfway." Boston Transcript NO HURRY Dining to DUcord "Society," said MIsa Cayenne, "reminds me of a minstrel show." "Where they say 'Gentlemen, be 1 til ir i '' seated'?" "Yes. seated.' starts V Do you think there is any chance of our breaking Into the smart-se- t here?" do you mean high"By smart-se- t k 7" brow or W. K. u II And then Ladles, be 'music the I" Killed Off So yon want to I suppose gut off this afternoon. your grandmother ts dead.' Office Kid Naw, she ain't but that gag of your Is a dead one. Brooklyn Eagle. Sarcastic Boss low-nec- ((wrrirM, Only they say, OLD FOGY Doubtful THE FEATHERHEADS By Wise Guy OtWne WnUra Newpftr Uato V Film Star (newly married) And Is this your home? Bridegroom It la, precious. "I could teach yon to swim In three "Say, it looks mightily familiar. Are you sure I haven't married you essons." "But 1 don't want to learn that before T' London Tit-Bitfast We're going to be here for Another Side couple of months." "That fellow is hlgMy educated. He must be smart" Contract Cataalty Two men were getting ready for "Oh, he may be," responded the man in the street "But be worries a dip in a swimming pool "Your shins are in pretty bad over things that I never heard ot" one. "Hockey Louisville Courier-Journremarked shape," player?" How About It? "Oh, no," was the reply. "I Just led back my wife's weak suit" Housewife (to subscription salesman) No, we dont want no magaEven Up zines. We don't want no nothln'. ; Salesman How about a cheap Dorothy It must be quite three years since I saw you last I hardly grammar? knew you, you have aged so! Doreen Well, I wouldn't have Infallible known you either, except for that 'Tve got a new idea. Fortune In dress. "What now?" "It's an alarm clock that emits the Evidence Mother Jane, do you know if delicious odors of frying bacon and Johnny has come home from school fragrant coffee." Boston Transcript yet? Jane 1 think so. I haven't seen Why Not? Wifle I can't afford an operation him, but the cat is hiding under the now. stove. Hubby No, you'll Just have to talk about the old one for another Jmt m Vacuum Frosh (knocking at senior's door) year. Tou told me to call you in time for Poor Kitty your first class, but I didn't wake up seems to be a "Your grandfather myself. It's ten o'clock now, your class is over, and you can sleep as little hard of hearing." "A little! Why, once he conductlong as you want ed family prayers kneeling on the t SE:? al "What In the world made you Jilt Ralph?" "Oh, he got on my nerves, always asking permission to kiss me." SOMETHING vi Akl FENDE--- i S Civ FOR ME? AMP SO MO ONE COULD TELL ar 'vn. if Ti-il- JT iWf..,3ar T AS WAS it NEW-3- UT SO THAT IW A I KiM Fl TWO YoJ KiM ASK PAY OR. YoUR HUSBAWP HOW HE. - riwflpraL ur .... i AS &OOX t a mm Professor My geological work keeps me away from home most of the time. FarmeiWaal, I alius thought It wuz dum foolishness, but I See they be suthln' to It arter all dummed ef they ain't - 1 WELL POSTED 111,11 lllliMT- - - !.- jr u FINNEY OF THE FORCE Jii Playing to an Empty House HLO, MRS SWOOP V4MILE Ol "f'lMK O'lT Yez. Will llFiJ&ST KMOW shure: kape. Yer. RAPIO Q0IK4 LOUD J r r I OW-- PO T'iMCr Blinks goofey. Yez. GETTiNl' COMPLAINTS , FROM THE ? SO WHAT? NAYBOORS x J ' Tr, what did Damon and Pythlaa that made them so famous?" "I don't remember now, but I think they were a winning battery that some do manager found leagues." r Yez. mm poM'-- r KJ- O- HAVE T MOSTLY I II I TH' RAPiO MUCH V f I I 1, POM'T 1 1 J c0 one of the bush "i OUT WHEM BURGLARS SOS K 1 In EASY - JJ" WILL THINK " SOMEBODY S 1 th Home -- 7 r - r- VN Mrs. B. I hate to gossip about people and yet I don't like to go around In society us a prude. Mrs. W. No need to say a thlnj-mdear. Just elevate your eyebrow, at 'the proper point and you'll g along. y C Wstfn Ktsrspapcr Cnlon cat" HIS PREFERENCE Hopelet Cafe I hear Jim's gone plumb Jinks Yes, the poor chap's mind has become as unbalanced as the national budget Cincinnati Enquirer. 1 OI'LL BE 'V o Juit Practicing "But Tve been told that you have proposed to three other girls quite recently." said the maid. "Oh, mere rehearsals in view of proposing to you, dear," said the man. Maybe So Mr. Spoon What kind of bells do Fred Mother, was there hair-ol- ! you prefer? In this old bottle? Mr. Bell (who has a nagging wife) Mother Why no. That was glue. Dumb bells! Fred Maybe that's why I can't get my hat off. Juit So Uncle My boy, you must nerer Tear Not in Order bite the hand that feeds yoo. "My husband has run off with an Boston Boy Certainly not uncle. conother women. Oh, I Just It would be a hazardous undertaktrol myself!" ing. The hand is almost certain to "You mustn't try, dearie. You'll be covered with deadly bacteria. feel better after a good laugh." Too Early to Show Elation Affable Friend You are not lookEasily SatUfied "But I couldn't give you enough ing too bright today. work to keep you occupied." The Other No, I mustn't You "Missus, you'd be surprised wot see, the doctor has ordered my wife a little it takes to keep me occu- away and if I look pleased she won't pied." Sydney Bulletin. |