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Show i LEHI FREE PRESS, LEKI, UTAH CAP AND OUR COMIC SECTION 0 j 3 Side c HIS FEE IECSTASV WITH ! Nine is - . inn CCfcAN WW ,cn u' Tr-- kl wry- - The teacher beard a child crying and runted out to the playground to find the cause of the disturbance. "What la the troobler ihe asked of little Jimmy, who stood calmly by. eating an orange. took Kred'a orange," ex"Billy witness. the plained asked "And where Is the orange the teacher. "Oh, I have that," replied Jlmmie. -loo see. I am the lawyer." THE WHCIWM- - I '.IS I SVC. r ' i saw the dearest little hat today. Hubby That's Just like you always looking for the dearest Instead of the moderately priced. FINNEY OF THE FORCE DAi: OFFiCE-R- Jf HOPE THIS SMT ( Gbop I OFFICIAL AM fAR f ROM amp so stj Yisl tF Vez wtLL ASK ME To Give A NAYBOORLY CALLylNDAPE oi J TtiFEt FAMILY? KNOW THAT Hit Bt A WUZ WlIRRK 3 y.Jl I iMDAPEi limy rr I m ' ft S "TUFHLS GOT A Encouragement "Do you think anything can be done with my voice?" asked the ambitious youth. "It might be of practical service In an emergency," replied the sincere musician. "In the chorus?' "No. In case your automobile horn was out of repair." Washington Star. fioOD LANSTt; Good Psychology Xeu've been lying under that tree for six hours 1 Why don't you beat it? Tramp Offer me a Job then Nothing can be accomplished without a motive ! Farmer 1 11 f, I OH, OH THE FEATHERHEADS J Well, well II " .Hlr1 The Clam I l ..w, ce.ii I CAMPY! MAVEKTT MAP AMY -- i Losic? FOR A . tu.ut To TTTi ously. "Never," he replied. "There can't be such a thing." Smart smiled artfully. "Oh, yes, there Is," he replied. "November and December they're cold enough, aren't they?" Merciless Campaigning "Several of your friends In congress are physicians." "Yes," answered Senator Sorghum, "but they are cautious- doctor who prescribe only simple remedies. What we need Is a bunch of dentists who can pull teeth and administer gas. p.. '! r - Some Like That "My wife Is a good driver," boasted Jones, "and she believes In giving the man in the other car his place along the road." "Mine does, too," sighed Smith, "only she seems to think his place IS In the ditch.'.' Philadelphia Bulletin. Influence "Women have assumed a position of power In politics." "Yes," answered Miss Cayenne. "Sometimes it looks to me as if even a beauty contest had been decided by influence rather than by merit." is, by the way, a wonderful style for slimming the figure. Use cotton or linen, for chic results. A Suggestion Complete, diagrammed sew chart It's so hard included. Kathryn Oh, dear for me to find a fit In any kind of Pattern 9969 may be ordered only shoes. in sizes 12, 14, 16, 18, 20, 30, 34, 38 30 and 40i Size 16 requires 39i Kitty Ever try snowshoes? Brooklyn Eagle. yards 36 inch fabric. Send FIFTEEN CENTS In coins ot Not Yet Rip stamps (coins preferred) for the patGuide The green garden snakes tern. Be sure to write plainly your around here are not harmful. NAME, ADDRESS, the STYLE NUMOld Lady Aren't they as danger- BER AND SIZE. ous as the ripe ones? Send' your order to Sewing Clrc! 1 Pattern Department, Eighteenth Street New BOTH SAD 232 West York City. CASES men met after 40 years. Black I have lost my whole fortune and must go hungry. White And I. have been forbidden by my doctor to drink beer snd must go thirsty we all have our sorrows. Lustige Blaetter (Berlin). Two- - yUsq SWANK J ill JI IIM 1 Can't Blame Him Blinks How did it happen that a man in Perkins' circumstances sent his daughter to Europe for a year? Jinks She nad fallen in love with a crooner, and he said he'd a darn sight rather go to the poorhouse than have such a thing for a Cincinnati Enquirer. son-in-la- Curiosity Warsaw A young man was arrested because he was lying across railway lines near Warsaw. "Suicide?" he said, when questioned by the police. "Certainly not I I was just trying to find out how quickly a train could draw up." Tip. ulated?" "Yes," answered Mr. Dustin Stax, "but you'll never stop speculation. You can't keep lambs from taklM hotel tips any more than you can stuck TOGETHER i i "Can the stock market be reg- T . , Smart was looking rather puzzled. "Tell me, old fellow," he said to friend, "have you ever heard of such a thing as cold embers?" The friend shook his head vigor- 1 GEI TO LP YOU AKIP CQT USY THE GRASS Time' PATTERS A simple frock u JU8t rffin. frock unless it la ri0vQ.i. then It becomes one of the Emaj thln?s a woman can wear in turn But choose your design wita greatest care remember it will v, no belp from frills or furbelows, be dead certain of getting something chic, yon cannot do better than thu neck and Its well fitting panels. Changed Hands "How did you make your fortune?" "I became the partner of a rich man; he had the money and I the experience." "How did that help?" "Now he has the experience and I the money. 1 aJm "I jg'i ' ut CAREFUt- - Too CAN"f BE V -- isT now . I & t""-r- " Scott in' Action Cuttem, the barber, was talking of a man who had joined his club at so much a week. "That chap McMean has a marvelous growth comes in twice a day for a shave and every few days for a hair cut." Cuttem went np in the air when the other informed him, "Why, there are two McMeans Angus and Donald ' . and they are twins." VV f!7! w I-- 1 WELL, NOW You SAV IT NWAS A BIG EXPENSlVE, CAR? jl r. .1 'V 1 ACCENTS SMARTNESS . A Good Risk lT-- WU Astrologer An astrologer who had foretold the death of one of the mistresses of Louis XI of France, which prediction had beea fulfilled, was summoned into the royal presence to hear his own death sentence pronounced as a consequence of his wicked prophecy. , "Seeing yon know everything," said the king, "tell me, when will you die?" "Three days before your majesty," . replied the astrologer. . He kept his head. TK THAT According to Custom' The Usher Hey, you! This guy says you bounced a bottle on his bean. What's the Idea? The Guest Nothin'. Only he but ted In on our party an Introduced himself as the "Human Battleship," and I thought It was time he was tested. Brooklyn Eagle. HIGH MINDED Wlfey SDIPLE FROCK . WE KNOW THEM. TOO YOU SPELL 111 Funny BELL 0 Events in the Lives of Little Men I On the Af4P ANOTHER. BtA- H- ETC TKIM6 TWHATNOAWP vvs 11 III 1 III r that AF?E ili , S-S- WAsri LlTK For once 1 You NOT TALKIN- GBACK AMP GIVING- MB A LOT OF Poor EXCUSES "I take half an hour's beauty sleep every afternoon." "You should make It longer, dear." Mathematics The music teacher was trying to Impress upon her pupils the meaning of F and FF la a song they were about to learn. After explaining tha first sign, she said: "Now children, If F means forte, what does FF mean?" "Eighty!" shouted one enthusiastic pupil. Porfsct Explanation Professor (sternly) This essay on "Our Dog" is word for word the Barae as your brother's. Frosh Tes, sir, it's the same dog. Too Muck Frao List "What aas become of your picture house?" "It had to close," answered Joe. "Every citizen In Crimson Insisted on being a member board of censors so's he could without payin'," motion Cfcctus Gulch of tbe get In He Ktpt 'Em Billy, you naughty boy f Tfou have been Cghtlnf and have lost two teeth I Wily No, I haven't, mother. They ire In my pocket Mother-J- Oh, waiters." Sound Advice "You have a beautiful bride." on "Yes, but we'll have to live kisses." bread and cheese and "It's a nice diet, my boy, but Wt Invite too many people to dinner. Philadelphia Bulletin. Worthless Lot "I have a devoted wife and g charming children, sir." rf bunch "They must be a poor they can't support you'-Broo- Eagle. Kiy" . I 1 |