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Show ., UTAH LEHI FRE" PRESS. LEHL Scraps, f 1 O. K. t Mj husband wired me from Pari on toy birthday asking whether be should buy me a Rembrandt or a Titian. Now, which would you have?" "Well as far as that goes, most of those French cara are very good." Humt; " i Q Erents in the Lires of Little Men iml fflPT5 aS&W ( Li r I A'i want to Ht this ecz. It's d not a nice egg." protested the six year-olbreak at the house the of daughter fast table. "Mary." said her mother sterniy, iiu iv romDlalninz of your what Is placed before you Eat food. word, every bite of it without another or else IU have to eive you a good spanking." All was quiet for some minutes. Then from the other end of the table sounded a mournful voice: 'Mother, dear, do I have to eat uw beak, too?" ... iyt. 1 THE BEAK TOOT K1 tibial' He Kaaw The doctor surveyed bis patient with a critical eje. "H'm," be muttered, "you confess fcb? that you are I suppose I need not tell you that bad temper Is caused by an ugly Uttle microber The patient gapped, 'Ssh be exclaimed. "For Hear, en's sake, speak quietly, doctor. Bhe's sitting In the room next door." OH M Wr ENOUGH True Enough Irish small farmer was asked by bis landlord If the report of bis An yJw : matter what w place la Uf Ne uatter when wt num. The (prinf tha alwayi brines u thMrht, Of Urtd aacs aai of ham. LETS PATKOMZE HOME IKDUBTST K THIS WEEK'S PRIZE STORY Intended second marriage was true, and replied : "It la, yer honor." But your first wife has only been dead a week, Pat," said the landlord. "An" share," retorted Pat. "she's as dead now as she ever will be, yer honor." Border Cities Star. Cattirf Even "Do you approve of the restriction of crops 7 L "Yes, sir," answered Farmer "Wall Street has made us trouble enough and the only way for us to get even Is to organize some pools and corners and things on our own account" (lenme lrace said if any man kissed her without warning she would scream for her father. Jack What did you do? George I warned her. It la tha doIUrs that circaUt immg enrselTei ia ear Intermoonlain sectiw, ttat la tha ad Wild ear achaoli, elwrcba, fn ear itreeU, tnereaM oar own fira taLisj and attract mar peapl ta this atctiat Bayinf Intermaantaia msda oods ants kMpnff aar aollars at home ta wvrt Ut all f as. UBS. L. E. MOERIS, Vsls, Onm. At THE FEATHERHEADS f You KW0W,FArJrJY, IT IS VERY KIND OF VOUK. HUSBAND To HELP r VJiTH OUR SHOW I Bad Mistake Alarmed Wife (whose husband had gone to bed first but whom she did not find in bed when she got there BilL where are you? Bill (drowsily) Ah, come on to bed, rve been asleep hours. Mrs. Bill But you're not In bed I Bill Thunder I'm not I'm where the bed is anyway. You're Bill No, darling. Mrs. where the bed used to be. I changed things 'around today and you are sleeping In the cedar chest. The Painter r PIP SfeS-HO- W ,v. "CO DO IT YOU f 1 I ME? COULDN'T I POlMG IT IF ---f f' I Everything All Right Bumping Into a pedestrian, a tourist slightly dented a fender. Instantly stopping the car, the occupant climbed out and proceeded to examine the machine with deep concern. He then turned to the pedestrian and asked: "Are you Insured?" "Yes." "Good. So is the car." 400 Utah Corn-tosse- REALLY SIMPLE f5 Sally Sez o OUR COMIC SECTION Little j Oil Refining Service Stations In Utah and Idaho "CATERPILLAR" TEACTOES hart MTcral rood ased "CatcrpiUtt Tractors an which desirable derjs eta be Bade. Bee ear slesntea la Tremonton ar Salt Lake City. W Unties Tractor & Co. Equipment 23( West South Temple St. Salt Lak Cilj. Utah Get Free Garden Guide Book . "How can I keep my hair from falling outr Don't do anything that annoys It" Not Wi.er bat More Wary "Do you grow wiser as you grow older?" SorSenator "No," answered ghum, "I find it herder each year to make practical use of the Information I have already accumulated." Florida Teacher rvu. i - AM A--i H?..U1:?HELP sr u iii r hi mar Times-Unio- Hm-ra- if vat 'Tillif tellUI i WE WERE WON"DERlM(ypAIR Dead Letter Baritone "Tessah, Ah's a great slngah. "Wheah did you-al- l learn to sing?" "Ah graduated from a correspondence school." "Boy, you sho' lost lots of 'yo maiL" Getting Them Placed "You seem to be going on the theory that the audience doesn't know anything," protested the confidential friend. "This audience," replied Senator Sorghum, "isn't supposed to do the knowing. It is supposed to do the yessing." . 7 ART, ln ' geography lesson) Now can anybody tell me where we find mangoes? Knowing Little Boy Yes, miss, wherever womun goes. Boston Tran- l .VBS! AND WAS HIS ..HiA VM RED I 14- - either" Expert Was Absent 1 are Experienced Merchant Are you married? Applicant No. Merchant Then I'm afraid the sal ary would look small to you. f FINNEY OF THE FORCE v I v 1 LOOKIT VMHO'5 w Beauty Cattan lsssy ADDRES9 "The Twelve Godfathers" was as old English expression for a jury. It was a taunt to say, "You will be some christened by 12 godfathers dav before long. hare a perennial garden Ogden, Utah 3U"ist: ASK TOUB ORUCGIST FOB MESOR.-O'COiJR- SE TiS "Thirty MILK ol MAGNESIA AN "Who does the baby resemble?" "He Is absolutely neutral" 1HE TIMOR 2-- t'sj AT'.f ALL RlSMT IS' PLEAUZEfHOW PEEPt-- . "TOU Y . X A IS . MUST THIS HURTS ' RtAKlKBRl AKO A PERSON OF . I ' iOtw- - raer mwix 1 MY SOM TURN5 t rvji KABti. a. I - . shrubs, and trees. ' woman novelist thinks that thirty Is a nice age for a woman. It Is, especially If she happens to be forty. Boston Transcript --7 wfll list and A : Dtprtssaa planting guide cf plants M04E O'ME t City it make yoa independent for the rest of yv days. SIS per month only for the eomple course of six months. Phone or writs Mail ia coupon. for oar catalog-tie- . SPEAKE-KOUL- Ye Pro!ess,oa Knows Toa can now learn a profession that DOM'T WONPER, EXCUSE Salt Lake write for 1 AMD AT VOUR, St, Odeli Gardens Red Pastures TURRNED OUT TBE Culture Utah High School of Beauty FINGERS CROSSED "Did you bring your excuse this morning, Billy?" asked the teacher. "No, Miss Smith," replied the boy. "My dad wasn't home; he's the one that makes the excuses at our bouse." Sweet and Salt Lake City, Utah NAME their relations Stray Stories. script. k Ladies Knit Suits and. Dresses Off Now One-ha- lf UTAH WOOLEN MILLS husband? strained "We must always remember that poverty Is no disgrace." "Well," answered Senator Sorghum, "let's be fair to both sides and remember that wealth is no disgrace SALESMENS' SAMPLES The even only in- High Preisure "Mrs. Smith is simply mad on the subject of germs, and sterilizes or filters everything in the house 1" 'How does she get alone with her "Oh, Fairness Introduced in New Zealand a few years ago, tobacco growing is one of the country's leading dustries. 121 So. Mala FACE, 1a ! mil ii EXPERT AT THE Ada. wwu TUP inw TiMS I MAPE UP AS AM INIPIAN janE ..i VMM LADY-BBH- od? SALT LAKE CITY. UTAH TAB IT "tOO H FeP. WAM AMI 1 - - I Place Your Order Now Rocks sod An Enduricr Eilamni. "Did any of your ancestors do things w vuc yuoiemy io remember them?" nseu me naughty woman. I reckon they did," replied Farmer vu.uu.asei. My grandfather putmort on mis piace that ain't 6hs paid off ARRo T'inG--i- t KAPES V'W OUT YH'OPlrJ Alr Bralnn Doctor-Y-our M. -- M.. Is merely a sign of advancing years, would mind toll ni v.. ' vuoi '"6 yourself 7 l usband-rjoc- tor, A Cheap Proposition Hums nnr llilnw ihn..i . A- 5SS lb" ,.7 3. ris uui . and tho- a supm-- head waiter." ' - . a iloai or ed for - without tipping the The .Stick v:.j ..Klbloc- k-i tell you what this co'un. try neeas is a more elastic currenc, . 1B,r is . more NRA Compliance CertiBeate Na. Ms Bo. State. Salt Lake City. UJ" S87 TIMPANOGOS HATCHERIES NBA Compliance Certiflcata No. ProTo. Utah . system The army's court-martiof trial goes back to the time". aboutl6 , Charles I of England al "I don't know," replied Harry Fls- lepop, "unless It's some scheme r For White Leghorns. Reds. other Popnlar Breeds. Prodoctioa Brss Moantain Bred and Acclimated only a short distant from oar wira H'tr erias to yonr warm Brooder. We srs Brood'fi dhtribators for "Sol-Hot- " and Lincoln chick feeders. Writs I sa discounts .special prices and cash orders placed now. "All Breeding- - Stork Blood Tested M Pollorum Disease. (BWD). by the BJI e" Whole Blood Agflntination sines October 1st, 183. and all las' cated reactors remoTed. RAMSHAW HATCHERIES wife need not worn oeing a little deaf. Just tell her uout tt k PRODUCT INTERMOUNTAIN adhesive cut ft0 UIJ rf perlr week will " be paid tDt5 bM 50 . ssaos should ase ' IntermodiUain Goodi" Similar ta aboe. 1 to yoor story in prose or ere 8a Boi 155S. Salt Laka Citr. story appears column yea Jar-$3.Qfirm check foe "Week No. 1411 W.N.U-S- alt U y' tJ |