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Show McGoofey's First Reader "and Eclectic Primer Associates' WNO Serrlce Newspapers Cabout: i iEJitedbj H. I. PHILLIPS ENLIGHTENED LAW Tnrnlnz an automobile around OA any curve or crest of a grade whert tha car cannot be seen by an ap iM proachlnjj driver within 200 feet under caurornia law. Head the Grace Nuts ad in another Pensions for Veterans. column of this paper and learn how to join the Dizzy Dean Winners and win valuable free prizes. Adv. CALIF. SANTA MONICA, another little prophDoctor Cobb, the amateur soothsayer, who never said a sooth he's surer of than this one: Agitation for a blanket pension ecy suggested In these epitomized the thought and, I may nr more azo that the the worry of a very great manv say parti,omniirn of 1930 sans at this time. So we have a Break in would bring forth picture six months some of the most ahead of the actual casting of the balParty In lots In which party lines are amazing oddities torn mm. 3 wuuwj asunder for countless hundreds of Kjjjl alignments more or less important kid e party figures .for ballots- In I think everyone hntrle agrees that the condinet Ouriufc u luc tion comes from the that 8 glgaui' development of citizens was In the New Deal principles and ni alignment of policies under are now being the leadership of President MBg. These things Roosevelt. There will be many who are now nmnnsiruieu seems just around the doubtful as to their course banging times who will realign themselves with the New Deal outstandibecause they were originally Demoffe all have seen how such as former Gov. Alfred E. crats and there will be ng figures many who will of New York, the Democratic again follow the Republican banner down the stretch. p,ut it seems to me "rpsldential nominee in 1928, have bold President Roosevelt and his that three years of Roosevelt ly flouted probably we have witnhave established a greater segment of Vew Deal theories and lndeiemlent voting strength In this essed such vitriolic outbursts as those Armor Spnator James A. Reed, that l. than had resulted from a quarcountry luit"-nj Missouri Democrat, and we ter of a century of partisan politics before. The situation must be construed lave watched with interest the hauling Democrats then as tod filling by Jeffersonlan Indicating that hereafter those who stick definitely In party harness woo find New Deal fantasies to be a Lately, there will continue to Mand hitched because bitter pill to swallow. tas come another most Interesting situathey have political aspirations and ambitions or because economic conditions tion respecting partisan alignment Although the action received much In their communities are better fosthan I believe It less attention tered by the party with which they the determination of the Virghave aligned themselves. Beyond that, inia Republicans In their recent con It seems to me, citizens, In most cases, to refrain from will vote In tention at Roanoke increasing numbers for the nhrfne a RpDiiblican candidate In the man Instead of the party. eld against Senator Carter Glass constitutes, to my mind, one of the At last, after almost two years of most extraordinary twists ever to take work, President Roose- promotion party system. place under our two ban- velt uas That convention, acting utterly without Dream doned two of hls Quoddy precedent, took the position that It was cherished dreams: Dropped better to leave the field clear for the the harnessing election of the veteran senator than to tides of Passamaquoddy bay in Maine" a political battle by naming and construction of a precipitate gigantic canal t Republican candidate. across Florida. The 'Quoddy project Virgreason for The the action of the designed to produce electric power in inia Republicans is quite clear in one never before turned out, was quantities altfelt that Carter Glass, way. They to cost $40,000,000. The great job of hough a lifelong Democrat who has excavating a slit across the face of the carried on his share of bombardment state of Florida to let ships go direct of Republican principles and policies, from the Atlantic to the Gulf without could do the country more good from around the toe of the state was going their standpoint than could be attained to cost $150,000,000. a by placing Republican condidate Only a small amount, that is, a small against him without chance of success. sum compared to other New Deal exTo state this premise In another way: on the Carter Glass does not swallow the penditures, had been wasted was before it canal tossed plans ship New Deal a as whole and when he finds features In the Into the limbo of forgotten things, but objectionable something like $10,000,000 already has Roosevelt prosram, he Is Independent been used in the attempt to make the has the strength of ehar-actenough am moon work through the medium of the to voice his feelings. Doing this tides of 'Quoddy bay. Both projects as a member of the majority party In can be charged up to politics and ex the senate necessarily has more weight than all of the criticism of the New periments and probably the country will be better off to take the loss and Deal that could be voiced by a Reuse of further money. publicanif one could be elected in avoid the President The fully Intended to go Virginia and the Virginia convention with his plans respecting those a course which it believed would through these two projects until he ran Into best serve the nation as a whole. Too But it is the circumstance of a vicious opposition in congress. senators and representatives many party convention refusing to engage In realized that they were going to have battle that interests me most. Under names the bay and Florida 'Quoddy such circumstances, the old Idea of the com- party loyalty becomes not only Illogical canal hurled at them through If they voted their apbut ridiculous. ing. campaign Instead of a call to funds name, we see what amounts to a call proval by including additional relief In the approthese for for projects support of a theoretical opponent. know what Is going Of course, In the opinion, of many, priations. I don't the of homes, the model to become Carter Glass Is the outstanding exnear the ponent of conservative thought in the city, erected for workers of Photographs project. Democratic party and If he bay speaks for 'Quoddy this village Indicate It to be a comconservative thought In the Democratic of which any resident might be Party he Is almost speaking for con- munity It was constructed to assure servative thought in the proud. Republican on the 'Quoddy project a workers the Party, it is easy to see, therefore, why the Virginia comfortable place in which to live. Republicans adopted the course they did but where does that They still have the comfortable place to live because the governleave party loyalty? What does It in which owns the homes but what is still mean as to ment the future alignment of become of those people and what to Political thought? disposition is to be made of the propis something else again. Thus, The course followed by the Virginia erty of electric power from the Republicans Is not more strange than development of bay has been an engi'Quoddy tides the action of Preslfor Vn the neering question that has raged dent Roosevelt has recurred It controversy. a as years Hand self wno nas Indorsed a political matter but Senator tliram John-s- n frequently as until the New Deal came in were of California and Senator never George Jwrls of Nebraska, with almost boy-is- a any tangible steps taken to Install elecIn that bay where the enthusiasm. Senator Johnson add trical equipment than anywhere else in Senator Korrls have not been regarded tides run higher regular Republicans but they have the world. flying the Republican banner for a good many years. Yet, the President Most engineers have contended that to place In the verbally pats them ou the back and it was Impossible offers his equipment that bay blessing. function satis- could Faced During the same period, we have faetorily while at the etched Mr. Roosevelt Difficulties game playing touch-ana-g- o tjme produc wiih the La Follettes In Wisconsin. Of course, the La Follettes in" electric current at a rate that a return on the trecatalogue themselves as Progressives would bring necessary. FurInvestment "Ul mendous wej n0VPr naV(, ha(1 a great deai one no yet has been common with e ther than that, Democrats. much electric Likewise, In the senate if one is to able to show where so marketed. The terriwueve gossip frequently bandied about, energy could be and the indussettled senator McNary of is sparsely Oregon, the titular tory While it was small. is Publican leader, has been trial production only power would limitless that contended fighting the New Deal. In "ct, some of Senator McNary's own bring Industries into that section, the after actual colleagues claim that he has really indications were, even small Increa wen aid and comfort to their only for political work started, factories and of enemies. number the In ment fa the meantime, one can wander other users of energy. Idea probably a!iUD(i tllL' halIs of congress and hear The 'Quoddy power and most Private observations from men who was the most fascinating the ere supposed to be stalwart partisans romantic of anything proposed by that they of creating purpose have been unable to deterDeal for the mine yet what their course ought to fobs Like the proposed Florida ship but those Pf n! t,Hm "'marked confidecanal It held potentialities ntly to me that li hnllpvprl ho wonbl whose opinions heretofore have been have to either consult a clairvoyant before he remain unconvinced that wuiq SUV Whplhcr I. a frnlnw tn onn. Se power plan or the canal for a short tlle New Deal or Florida ever could repay oppose It or try n!t straddle the fence. Of course, his spent there. gXnment for money Union. mark ws In a humorous vein but It Western Ntpier rasbingtoD- .-! . J rtlmnM .' e de-rve- s, er hlm-Oth- . old-lin- half-"earted- ly by old Start th Day Right Begin the day with a laugh, but better still, begin it at 7 a. m. and don't be behindhand all day. to cover all World war veterans, regardless of ratings or physical condi- n tion, will start as soon as those lately-woAt first billions are distributed. some veterans' organization will oppose it THE STORY OF HORATIO Horatio was a slow thinker. 2 He didn't retain very welL 3 As a boy he was so dumb his Playmates nicknamed him "The Dum1 my." 4 He was very slow mastering sim- ple games and always lost at parches!. 5 On the high school baseball team he stole second with the bases full, and on the scrub football team lost a game by running the wrong way with the ball. 6 He just didn't seem able to grasp things. 7 As a young man he took up bridge and set a new world's record the first year for the number of consecutive times he was set after redoubling. 8 He stuck to the game, however, although everybody tried to avoid him as a partner. 9 He never could remember what was bid and was always bidding the wrong suit himself. 10 When contract came In, he became especially enthusiastic and was eagerly sought as an opponent by even fifth-rat- e players. 11 When he won a rubber everybody knew it could only be a case of a phoney deck or a major accident 12 His reputation as a terrible bridge player grew by leaps and bounds. But he made a fortune, 13 you'll never guess how. 14 He wrote a book called and "ConBe- tract Made a Pushover for the ginner." 15 It sold a million copies and led to a job writing articles for newspapers all over the country on the fine points of contract bridge. MORAL A full fountain pen covers a multitude of sins. RHYMES OF SUCCESS Diligent in business be, Always change your socks ; Live with great frugality And don't buy railroad stocks! ' CURIOUS FACTS FOR CURIOUS PEOPLE 1 Cigarette burns on a piano case can be removed with a chisel and saw. 2 It has been estimated by careful students of the cinema that 88 out of every 100 laughs In the movies are dependent on grapefruit 3 The average life of safety razor blade Is 43 cuts. 4 A New England boiled dinner will sustain life in one man for four days, but it will hardly be worth it 5The Chinese have rejected football as a national game, owing to the long time it would take to give the signals in the native dialect 6 It Is against the law to ride a bicycle on the sidewalks of Brooklyn, N. Y. 7The appetite for chicken soup can be curbed by leafing In the feathers. 8 Eugene O'Neil can go hours at a time without being frivolous. 9 In Jupiter, Fla., there is a man who never broke his watch crystal d Oh, see the man! The man Is a racketeer. What Is a racketeer? A racketeer Is a man who enjoys special privileges in America and who gets more space In the newspapers In a month than hon est business men get in their lifetimes. How does the racketeer obtain special privileges? It's all done by mirrors, machine guns, armored cars and political affiliations. Are racketeers ever arrested? Now and then. Do they go to prison? Rarely ever. Why not? It's too difficult Some of them try very hard to get Into the hoosegow, but It Is almost Impossible. If rounded np on serious charges, such as defying the Constitution, general lawlessness and murder, don't they go to prison? Not so that you could notice It But Isn't there any way a racketeer can get the government to put htm In prison? Oh, yes, there Is one way that will greatly excite Uncle Sam and cause him to deal quickly and severely with a racketeer. What way Is that? By giving the government reason to suspect that he has cheated on his in come tax return. Why does the government become so suddenly alert In a case of Income tax evasions? It's one of life's little mysteries. OUR DOMESTIC ANIMALS Is a noble beast ; He's man's best friend, no doubt, But hasn't been so useful since went out The buggy-rid- e The horse he He still is seen upon the streets Or grazing In a lot But as a means of travel, well. He Isn't very hot who does not? He's faithful, strong and kind, But just the same I think he's left His future far behind. I love the horse, and GRAMMAR Which Is proper: "I think the Giants were playing great baseball," or, "I think the Giants was playing great baseball"? And why make either statement? 2 "The market enjoyed a strong rally," or "The market experienced a strong rally"? And why not tell the truth and say that a few stocks went up an eighth? 3 "The radio announcer's voice were very pleasing," or "The radio announc er's voice was very pleasing"? And do you believe either statement? 4 "The ambassador attended court e bathing suit of wearing a pink and green," or, "The ambassador attended court attired In the conven tional velvet knee pants"? 1 one-piec- WHAT'S WRONG WITH THESE SENTENCES? The candidate for the nomination for the Presidency mounted the rostrum and told the public frankly how he stood on every Issue before the American people. The Broadway chorus girl left the city In deep humiliation when she found that her picture had been put on the first page of a newspaper In connection with a scandal involving a millionaire merchant. The fisherman caught a fish weighing eight pounds, but refused to pose for photographs or discuss the matter. "Please let me walk In the rear of the parade," begged the drum major. "I'm a little bashful." The senator, when Interviewed on the foreign situation, gave views which in no way contradicted his previous utterances on the subject refused to signal The hitch-hiker- s passing cars, saying: "If anybody wants to pick me up they will stop for me of their own accord." NATURAL HISTORY fish Consider the nobbly-wobbl- y Which Is raised In a water pall ; It's a type of fish that makes a swish For It hasn't a fish's tall. You may look at It most Intently and Yon will see how It gets its fame For both ends, you'll see, for a cer- tainty, Are beyond all dispute the same. When It's quite composed, either way It'goes, And it goes there quite calmly, too, But when crises come it acts very dumb For it cannot think what to do. swim to the left it can swim to the right x And be facing the way it wishes, And either end can see where It's It can - -- ' BE KIND TO ANIMALS S Be gentle with the tiger and .r r ' Treat Hons kindly too,"' ' Don't twist my dears, a Jaguar's ears Nor sggravate a gnu. ,r ; Ee nice to little leopard cats And treat hyenas right; To kick a bear Is quite unfair And rather Impolite. Dr. Pierce's Pellets are beet for liver, boweli and stomach. On little Pellet foa a laxative three for a cathartic Adv. not for long, though. At first congress will Then be lukewarm. it'll see a great light, and this new pension act one that will be to all previous pension acts what a whale is to tadpoles will be passed. At least the veterans have the argument Irvln 8. Cobb of patriotic service on their side. And Isn't it true that to nearly all of as has come a new conception of the national figurehead? No longer Is it square-jaweYankee Doodle. It's a generous, jolly smiling Santa Claus bringing free checks for everybody; that is, free until the taxpayers start paying the bill. Defying the Almighty. FOLLOWING the example set some a certain famous perago Infidel made a sonage, a cock-sur- e speech lately, defying God to smite him dead on the spot it seemed, first off, a very sound Idea, but nothing happened, so the gentleman took this for proof there was no God and went his way rejoicing. Some look on this as blasphemy, but, granted that every man Is entitled to speak his opinion on religion, I'd call It pure gall. Think of Inviting the Almighty to suspend the entire cosmic scheme while forging a thunderbolt to abolish one solitary copycat of an amateur AJax. Would you call out the standing army of the United States to kill a cockroach? Lady Killers. been HAS ITmust know ItIn print so often you by heart yourself: At sight of her recreant gentleman friend, the poor, bruised butterfly felt a great sense of her wrongs the wretch wanted to go back to his wife or something equally dastardly and the next thing she knew she was holding a smoking automatic that accidentally happened to be In her handbag along with some lipstick and a recipe for fudge ; and he was deader then the prosecutor's chance of convicting her for the killing. But Just prior to that "everything went black before her eyes." There's one detail which never varies that business. It was In the case they tried recently in New York. It's In this latest case at Chicago. TIs a sore affliction, always marked by total lapse of memory and frequently coupled with temporary insanity, but It's certainly fine for marksmanship. The lady scores a I wish Invariably. perfect bull's-eye- , I could go blind to order t I'd be the best quail-sho- t that ever came out of Kentucky, Instead of the worst Brawls in Hollywood. have hot southern NATURALLY, Iseems to be the hottest there is, although down home I never noticed it. But up north. If trouble Impended, people would speak of my hot southern blood when all the time I thought I was having a nervous chill. Being thus all up, I adore fighting, If somebody else does it. Since our movie heroes always stage their combats In some utterly secluded spot, such as a cafe or a night club, I hurry hither and yon hoping to be present when an embittered star satisfies his honor by bouncing a special order of sweetbreads under glass with mushrooms twenty minutes, 90 cents off. some rival's classic profile. But it's hard enough for me to get in touch with a waiter, let alone a g contest. Today the good war correspondents report two brisk battles on the Hollywood front, and I'm absent, as usual. In the main bout, both gladiators were script writers, proverbially a tigerish breed. Believe It or not, a Mr. Riskln tangled with a Mr. Rus-kithe presumption being that one of the gentlemen regarded the other as a typographical error. English Reds Again. SOMETHING printed here recently way the English handle their reds and pinks prompted an English gentleman to write giving further details. Twould seem that over there all public servants, including, notably, state-paid- " school teachers, must swear to uphold the crown, which means they cannot preach communism to their pupils without violating a solemn oath and, If caught so doing, they lose their official heads instanter. , Moreover, no avowed or suspected agent of the Soviets may use the radio to preach the overthrow of the existing government in favor, of the Russian plan. In other words forgive the pun, please Britain never shall be Slavs. But- on the other hand, Americans always will be suckers I Real Condolence In condolences. It Is not what pe pie say, but how they say it GAS, GAS ALL THE TIME, CAN'T EAT OR SLEEP "Th waa mat haart hurt. Adlatika. Tha fin mm btoutht dosa I took mat ma I with, taliat. Now i alaao Una and nawar fait battat."Ura. Jam. FiUar. nt hat-awa- on my ttomaeh o bad I could not Eran my or aleap. A ttiand Adlerika acts an BOTH upper and lower bowels while ordinary laxatives act on the lower bowel only. Adlerika gives your system a thorough cleansing; that bringing out old, poisonous-matteyou would not believe was in your sys tern and that has been causing gas pains, sour stomach, nervousness and headaches for months. ( Dr. H. L. Shoub, Now York, reporttt "In addition to intestinal cleantingt Adlerika reatly reduces bacteria and colon bacilli." Give your stomach and bowels a REAL Uon;ns nrith Arilerilra and aee how good you feci. Just one spoonful relieves GAS and chronic constipation. Sold by aH druggists and drug departments. A FAMOUS DOCTOR a young man ASlate Dr. K. the V. medi- Fives practiced cine in Pennsylvania, met Hi prescription! with auch great demand Bufthat he moved to falo, N. Y., and put up form In ready-to-Un tonic hia elimiwill Golden Medical Discovery, which nate poisons from the intestines, increase the appetite, and tone up the digestive system. Buy tunvl Tabs. 50c, liquid $1.00 & $1.35. to Suffer No Need "MorningSickness" is caused by an "Morning sickness" acid condition. To avoid it, acid must be such as magnesia. offset by alkalis Why Physicians Recommend Milnesia Wafers wafers are candy-likpure milk of magnesia in solid form the most pleasant way to take it. Each wafer is approximately equal to a full adult dose of liquid milk of magnesia. Chewed thoroughly, then swallowed, they correct acidity in the mouth and throughout the digestive syBtera and insure quick, com' plete elimination of the waste matters that cause gas, headaches, bloated feelings and a dozen other discomforts. . Milnesia Wafers come in bottles of 20 and 48, at 35c and 60c respectively, and in convenient tins for your handbag containing 12 at 20c. Each wafer is approximately one adult dose of milk of magnesia. All These e good drug stores sell and recommend them ' Start using these delicious, effectlva anti-aci- gently laxative wafers today d, Professional samples sent free to registered physicians or dentists if request is made on professional letterhead. Seleet Products, lnc 4402 23rd St., Long Island City, N. Y. 35c & 60c bottles d 20c tins 1:11 rO"i-i-- ii fwfc7Ci The Original Milk of I rfJl--i l Magnmmla Water plate-tossin- There's a head on the end where the tall should be And a head where the tall should not; So It looks both ways while it swims and plays And it points to no given spot been Which is not true of other fishes. - " 'BOYS! GIRLS! n, - . WN'U IRVIN S. COBB Srvlc. VVKU w 18-- 56 i'sALT 'laKE'S NEWEST HOSTELRY Oar lobby Is delightfully air cooled during the summer months Radio for Every Room 200 Rooms 200 Batha Utu'A HOTEL Temple Square Rates 91JSO to $3.00 The Botel Temple Sqnai has highly desirable, friendly atmosphere. You will always find it immacand ulate, supremely comfortable, thoroughly agreeable. You can there1st hotel this understand for why HIGHLY RECOMMENDED You can also appreciate why. f fs mark of distinction to atop at thie beautiful hottelry , ERNEST C ROSSITER, Mgr. I |