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Show HUSBANDS A husband is tho dream of mnldoiiH, tho hope of single ladles and a steri. teailty with married women. A husband is about onorelghth of u married couple, uelug A husband lt n serious business with most men, and It requires most of their time ana all of their money to make good on the Job. Men become husband nt the ago of 21 or thereabouts and contlnuo during life or good behavior. lielug a husband is ft great privilege privi-lege nnd most men make several frantic fran-tic efforts to go Into husbandry during Uielr early youth before they finally succeed. To become n husband ono must acquire tho unnnimous consen of somo girl. This requires from ten minutes to ten years, according to the amount of sense poBscsed by tho gin. Somo girls will spend four days pick, ing out a husband nnd four weekb picking out a wedding dress. Dui girls of this sort nre very apt to mako sovernl selections of husbands beforo finding a perfect fit. Tho duties of a husband nro to como home on tlmo for meals, to pay tho bills, to exterminate burglars at night, to go to parties nnd remain happily around until called ror, to hook up dresses beneath his breath, to cat the tough end or the beefsteak nt dinner, to go back to tho house after handkerchiefs hand-kerchiefs nnd gloves, to ndmiro tho latest misdemeanors In millinery, to mnko his Inst year's overcoat do n few years longer, to put his collnrs in th laundry bag, to mnll nt tho earliest possible mlnuto a letter written In answer to ono received Inst year nud to enjoy conversation served hot or cold nt all hours. Thero nro no ported por-ted husbands nnd tho usual success in accomplishing these duties is about 33 per cent. The hiiBband business has as many rnllures as any other llfo work, but this does not deter cnllow youtliB from rushing "blithely Into h equipped for tho Job only with n goou appotlto and a firm determination to hold a rocking chair down in 1U proper place. Thero Is a large demand ror domestic domes-tic or American-born husbands In thin country. They nre, ns a rule, durable, dur-able, easy to run and yield larger returns re-turns than nny other brand. Wome fond of luxuries, howovor, often Import Im-port husbands nt n cost or rrom $1,000,000 to $10,000,000 nplcco. Tho, nro Bhowy goods nnd will wnsh, bi. many or thorn nro returned because ol other detects. HuBbands who arc treated kindly and nro not fed sogt blscultB or conversation will frequent. Iy last a lifetime. FreBh husbai.. . nro undesirable, but not as much s as those who aro plokled In nlcohol. |