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Show The Daily Utah Chronicle - Page Seven Friday, February 8, 1991 scathing glance at A Does watching a video music influence a person's interpretation of a song? Has MTV Chronicle Asst. Entertainment Editor And what do parents Tllffll and critics think? Being both a parent and a critic (that, and having an about the images assaulting editor who didn't finish his column), I feel qualified to speak on the throes and the woes of the obliviously apparent MTV craze. Critics who support MTV are extremist. Critics who despise MTV are extremist as well. Pretty pathetic, eh? But then, in my opinion, people who sit around watching more than three videos on MTV are unmotivated zombies. Take the people watching MTV in the Union Building, for example. They exhibit all the symtoms of . zombie-itis- musician's a Personally, music video does not shape my perception of the music. Rather, it merely offers the band's creative, and oftentimes vulgar, perspective of A video the song. accompanied with the song is interference if, and only if, one accepts it as the one and interpretation. only Unfortunately, for the zombie-typethe visual video is the only representation. Young children seem to be more profoundly affected by s, the music video than are adults. This is a deep concern for me, as I have a daughter who has seen the blatantly sexual up, down, over, and undertones of videos made by Madonna and Aerosmith. cannot describe the dismay I feel when I think of my child using Madonna as a role model. Yuk! This, however, can be tactfully, carefully, although handled, by having not-so-easi- ly open discussions about what she sees and how she feels I !1 1 rWJ 11 ; her optic nerves. The only videos that contribute to my listening enjoyment are the videos by Aerosmith. Steven second the thought, responsibility belongs to the censors who work for MTV. And yet, I suspect the censors greenbacks, not the sensitivities of their viewers. As far as females in music videos are concerned, I find myself somewhat annoyed by their behavior sometimes. It's info-merci- al i ; i; i i Non-nerd- y Zaniness ensues. Boy kisses girl. we're talking about the ($1.50 comedy line, first minute, 75 cent each additional). line." We've got dimwit farmers on the line. We've got Hollywood producers on the line. We've got Valley Girls on the line. We've got. ..obviously, we've got absolutely no plot to get in the way of the story. This is the first movie ever made where every actor in the movie has a phone in his hand 90 percent of the time. Two breasts. No dead bodies. 1 Joe Bob's Faxt 214-363-231- 0. experience you'll never forget. These are office sex-starve- d buildings in dresses. When they say "Hello, I'm glad you called," x What kind of women can do this job? Well, actually, any woman can do this job. What kind of woman can do this job well! Fat girls. Some of 'em can talk singles bar of the nineties, the "party Phone Phone ripping. Food microwaving. e true. ..it's an employment agency for Holsteins in Spandex tights. Think about it for a minute. What do the ads offer? Conversations with women who are starved for sex. What else do they offer? Conversations with women who are starved for sex with you. No matterivnaf you look like or how many cars are rusting in your front The difference here is that 2002, Dallas, TX 75 221 or leave your name and address on Joe Bob's phone-se- Electroshocked fight. junkies. Gratuitous impressions of Rod party-lin- e Serling, Ruth Westheimmer, Marlon Brando and Ronald Reagan. Fat Fu. Cellular Fu. Drive-IAward Academy nominations for John Caponera, n as Randy the nerd, for trying to kill himself with a plastic knife, then trying to kill himself by putting his head in the oven a microwave oven; Michael Jeffries, "king of the party lines," who tries to imitate Jim Belushi in for Dialing Actress screen-testin- g for Dingbats. they are glad you called! You see the beauty of this? The guy's happy. The gal's happy. Three members of my world-famou- s chorus line, the Dancing "About Last Night," for trying to seduce a girl by showing her a teddy bear and a pack of Trojans; Lyn Segerblom, as the nerd girl who tries to get a date by talking about her "dual floppies"; and Lloyd Kaufman, for releasing this movie without getting arrested. Sisters (eight girls Bovina weighing a total of one ton), were phone-se- x operators before they became stars. And you know why they were so good at it? One of One star. Joe Bob says check it out. You won't believe it. Creators Syndicate, 1991 Copyright L T Horton PLEBES HovJ TO guy helps girl. nerdy boy get girl anyway. us line, then you know it's j guys who spend at least a thousand bucks on every movie they make "and it's all on the screen, every penny of it." But in searching for new artistic frontiers, they went back to the basics: Boy needs girl. Any girl. Boy acts nerdy so he can't get The Dreamland in Asheville, N,C which became a flea market in the fall of 1989, is open again for its 44th season, under the father-so- n management team of Joe and Dusty Pless. The classic car shows are back. The "sock hop" nights ate back, With eternal vigilance, an American city was preserved. To discuss the meaning of life with Joe Bob, or get free junk in the mail and his world-famo"We are the Weird" newsletter, write P,0. Box yard. . Lloyd Kaufman and Michael Herz, the geniuses at Troma Films, creators of "The Toxic Avenger," "Macho Woman," "Stuff Stephanie in the Drive-I- n girls. And if you've ever known anybody who works on a phone-se- x III : hair-car- of.. .well. ..the world of dingbats on the phone. It was made by Victory over Communism! employment for fat girls. I love fat i i for favorite industry, "Dialing for Dingbats" is the first serious examination of the world Incinerator, and "Nymphoid Barbarian Dinosaur Hell," the lines is that they provide promoting sexism. i 'Cause that first minute is an make a living. But the main function of phone-se- x in their unique manner of i why? products that comes along. They've got to mindless soap opera and see if I can find some comical relief i vivid owners to get every John Davidson Well, that's what think about MTV. I'm all thunked out. Guess I'll go watch a i exceptionally imaginations, get so excited that the first minute costs forty bucks, and each additional minute is only 24 cents. And you know lines, independent TV stations that show "The Lone Ranger" all night would have no income at all. You can't expect these station I 11 with x woman being enjoys perceived as a sex object, I suppose it's her pernicious ' about sex for hours. Some of 'em that phone-selines provide to the American culture and economy. If it weren't for of Grapevine, TX But, most important, I'd like to point out the service sexual degradation of women. It appears many MTV videos do this. A music video ought prerogative). Critc K.S. not that I disapprove of sexuality in human beings, but I do disapprove of anything that promotes the Movie Drive-i- n Producers. called back! I did! There must have really been something wrong with that number you gave me. The guy who answered was really weird. All he ever said was "Bueno K.S." I don't know anybody named Bueno process of deciding what airs and what doesn't, are more concerned with making gobs of Briggs ht Southwestern Utah Beef and others involved in the 1 ; Tyler makes me pant. I relish any and all opportunities to view the lips and the hips of this incredibly sensuous male. All in all, I do not go out of my way to watch MTV, but it can be a source of amusing entertainment. Limitations should be placed on music videos made by Sam Kinison. Well, on to be done with taste and contain some semblance of art for it to be worth watching. (On the other hand, if a six-year-o- ld I late-nig- 'em told me. "Most women," she said, "use sex to try to get something from a man. But we're fat. We know how to use men to get sex." You see the difference? It's subtle, I realize, but it's what made phone sex what it is today. And speaking of America's Joe Bob long-awaite- Chase musicians and their fans view music? chronic Before unveiling my d review of "Dialing for Dingbats," the epic statement on party lines, I would like to state my position on phone-se- x advertising, phone-se- x employees, and, to be brief, phone sex itself. First of all, I find it perfectly acceptable in a free and open society if people want to have sex with their phones, as long as they do it in the privacy of their own home or at least in the privacy of a phone booth. But not one of those phone booths that doesn't have any doors on it, because 1) it might offend older people who think phone sex is "kinky," 2) it's highly unsanitary to have sex with a public phone, even if the phone is equipped with a condom, and 3) the receiver is up so high off the ground that you could hurt yourself. Next, I'd like to say hi to Wicked Draculina of Manti, Utah, who I met on the Salt Lake City Party Line one night when I was in town making a speech to the Janine changed the way pathetically Dialing for Dingbats or answering for bucks MTV fir OO UfJOWP. FOR- - Of-- i-- 2-- it poirsN'r cost A .ocK o2- - veSA6C You orJ THE- A to uie cewT to Scratch a Sc PtOOD Of A P?$TC(Z. Of-- FUNJE2.A-- HoroHui Poop- - SAP' You 501 Suit, YdU'ui- - ajill ti4j $fou a oTHet xrt-ofi.- e TrtC ToiueT f ' Iffr " g"A-T- Yoon. SuASH- - Tr5 COT HMtfp., a oM" 6LM.it ewe in the 5 VOU It TH of-- yooft ewe vJfArT 010 VoO 00 1 STOP 5(6 rvwv v(- - uh A"i FifP'A rui-uw- - i TAAfH... he stay for dinner?" 'Mom, I got a new friend at school today...Can rr mailhk OF |
