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Show -- 1 Page Six Friday, February 20, 1987 JOHN YOTGREtl A mystery of unrequited anonymity Arc you there, Bonnie? Are you out there? Anywhere? Are you reading this today? We're looking for you, you know. You've become a mystery for us. It's a mystery ue may never solve, but it's an important one nevertheless. An imposing one. An impossible one. But an unsolvablc one? We'll see about that. Is "Bonnie" your real name, or is it an alias? Are you a student here at the U.? Are the feelings you express true? You're a mystery woman, to be sure. But every mystery has a solution... BONNIE OVER THE OCEAN Kent Anderson is a Chronicle copy editor. He works here these days by coincidence, but Kent and I have been friends for a long time we used to work at the same restaurant during high school. Kent came into sec me early this week. It was a clear, moderately cold February afternoon. I had my feet up on my desk. I was proud of myself. I had just finished a pair of articles regarding John Lewis and Wendy Barnhart, the couple we matched up and sent out on a date for Valentine's Day last weekend. Now it seemed Kent was looking for my help on a different kind of matchup. It seemed he had a secret admirer. And the mystery was killing him. "I received this in the mail today," Kent said. "It was mailed on Friday the 13th. Its postmark is Salt Lake Gty, but I don't know anything else about it. I have to find out." I smiled and told him to relax. Kent had come to the right place. Mysteries are my business, I informed him. And I'm very good at what I do. Kent seemed impressed. He agreed to answer my every question, to consider my every suspicion. I asked him first to show me the letter. It was written on standard, 8-by 1 1 notebook paper. It looked as though it had been torn out of a notebook. The paper was college-line- d, handwritten. The letter said: HANDS ACROSS WATER 12 "Dear Kent, "I find myself at a loss as to how to begin, so I'll come right out with it. You see, I've had the most intense crush on you since we first met three years ago. Our paths have since separated but I've never forgotten you. Wc do occasionally pass each other on campus and I read your newspaper articles." I stopped reading for a moment. I asked Kent if he really believed someone read his articles. I thought finding such a person would require quite an effort in itself. Kent seemed to agree. "She must be one of five people," he said. I then read on: "So why just an anonomous (sic) letter after three years?" the letter asked. "Well, the truth is I'm much too shy to ever attempt a more direct approach. Besides, I don't think anything would come of it if I did. Why write a letter at all? Because crushes arc a tremendous waste of time and emotion, and I'm trying to purge myself, so to speak. I'm not really sure if this will help but it is worth an effort." I stopped reading. I put the letter down on my desk. It was signed, simply, "Love, Bonnie." I looked over at Kent, slumped in the chair before me. "I recognize the handwriting, but can't place it," he said. "I know the writing, but I don't know the hand." With little recourse or direction to follow, I decided to analyze the only real clue we had the letter itself. I broke it down, line by line, letter by letter, and grilled Kent with every question I could possibly think of. "Have you ever known anyone named Bonnie?" I asked. "Just one," Kent said. "Back in junior high school. But it was never romantic." "One Bonnie," I mused. "In your whole life? Interesting. You'd think there'd be more Bonnies in the world than that." "I think this whole thing could be a joke," Kent said. "And 'Bonnie could be a pen name, if you think about it." I looked at him. Kent obviously wasn't foing to be cooperative. I asked him more questions, each keyed on drawing as much information from both the letter, his life and the similarities between the two as possible. "You haven't known many Bonnies," I said. "But have you ever known anyone named Barney or Bobby or Benny or some other name that sounds like Bonnieat least in the past three years?" Kent said not really. He then described his normal daily routine for me. He said he usually frequents the Business Lecture Hail, Orson Spencer Hall and the Union Building. My deduction? Obvious. Who else would logically frequent those buildings? "Bonnie must either be a business major, a humanities major or any other student who goes to the University of Utah." Wc were narrowing things down. What else could we gather from the clues at hand? I decided anyone who would write an anonymous letter must be sensitive and vey shy. Kent agreed. I decided that her way of letting him know about it ("I'm much too shy to ever attempt a more direct approach," she wrote) indicated she wasn't overly ambitious. Kent didn't say much. I decided that the way she spelled anonymous ("anonomous") indicated that she wasn't a good speller. Kent, being a crackerjack copy editor in his own right, had noticed that. "I've spent sleepless night after sleepless night wondering about this whole thing," he said. "And especially about who would misspell such a simple word." BRING BONNIE TO ME With all the kidding and deducing aside, I told Kent there still might be hope for us to find Bonnie, even if it didn't appear too likely or logical based on our analysis of the clues we had. "Kent, I can't guarantee anything," I said. "But maybe Bonnie will read this I figure I have at least six readers on campus and that will convince her to reveal herself as the author and potential Kent would have little of it. "It's been hell," he said. "I placed a personal ad in the paper, but it hasn't done any love-interes- t." good." I gave him a "maybe this column will attract more attention than a two-lin- e personal ad" kind of look. Kent straightened up. "Maybe this will help somehow." I smiled and told him to relax. Waiting and doing absolutely nothing is the surest and certainly the most clear-cway of solving any mystery. Kent grimaced a bit, as his mind reconciled matters. "Bonnie, come in from the cold," he said. "I'm curious.' ut John Youngrcn is the Chronicle's editor in chief. STUDENTS INC. ASSEMBLY CANDIDATES ACADEMIC COUNSELING EDUCATION PHARMACY SOCIAL AND BEHAVIORAL SCIENCE Buchanan, Brian Barth, Susie Memmott, Heidi Wiesenburg, Mark Berrett. Kalli Edwards, Catherine Caine, J. Bergeson. Rosalie Goodman, Karen Bill Coulam, Cristin Evans, Alan Jensen, D. Rich Keller, Patty Miner, Barbara Probst, Brad Rasmussen, Brian Siddoway, Mark Bennett, Sandy White, Patrick Al HEALTH Ski 1 Noire, Jeff ' Y. Champion, Dean Conabee. Christopher Engen, Steve Fernandez, J.J. Randro, Ron Henderson, Marc Jager. Giddings.. Shane "Gator" FINE ARTS Leone, Mark Washburn, Bryan BUSINESS Hottinger. Gaia, Robert Lawrence. Elliot R. Leavitt, Michele McGavin. Blair Romney, Liz Walker, Jerry W. ARCHITECTURE Sanders, Mike ENGINEERING Houtz, Craig Simmons, Bill Stauffer. Russell J. Topham, Rob White, Katie .. PendersenJason Petersen, Brad Skedros, Angel ' Smith, Todd Sorensen, Chris S. White, Shannon Grant, Greg SCIENCE Martin, Thayne Pao. Billy Rasmussen, Clark J. Wallace, Mark Warnock. Steve Miller. Shauna Motta, Amy Pugsley. Anne Robinson. Dave . Wade, Wendy Zumbrennen, Shari m m me dsf um IIME ...students inc. u HUMANITIES M. Anderson, Mark Gardner, Dan Garff, Ellen SOOTrT Holbrook, Jennifer Mitchell. Heidi . Perkins, Jim Poulton, Meredith - Rathburn, Christine Vincent, Jeffrey M. NURSING Barnes, Karen looks like the eyes hove if. |
