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Show ... i Pago Six y, Jcsero, 1CC2 i MAKSAAL In recent months the media have bttn exists a solution to the problem. Not only will this cure-a-ll dispose of the ERA issue, it will also solve the second most volatile controversy in the country abortion. The answer to these two problems lies in the unique phenomenon that liberals, like any other minority, tend to stick together. It is common knowledge that those who support the Equal Rights Amendment tend and vice versa. Fine. to be United they stand, and united they will fall. The solution to these two cankers lies merely in the proverbial killing of two birds with one stone. Or, more accurately, killing two liberals with one piece of legislation. . following tht Equal Rights Amendment in what has bean termed the amendment's throes of death. From Maine to California supporters of the amendment have chained themselves to everything in sight from Senate chamber doors to pay toilets in h effort to force men's rooms, in a ; ratification in three states. ' line for ratification of the amendment is today, June 30. Nationwide, feminists are mourning the loss of a loved one. But not for long. Despite the fact that many have proclaimed the Equal Rights Amendment extinct to the contrary, it couldn't even make the endangered species list Like the monster in a cheap Japanese horror flick, the ERA will rise again and again from the rubble of a cardboard Tokyo until someone has the guts to get up and change the last-ditc- channel . : . pro-abortio- n, The answer? Federally funded sex change operations. The only thing feminists, and other supporters of the ERA and abortion, want is to be treated like men. At least, that is what they claim. But according to a noted ; Indeed, the question of equal rights seems university psychologist, who for obvious to be quite the sticky wicket. Possibly the reasons shall remain nameless, it goes a most volatile issue facing the country today, little deeper than that. In reality, feminists it has succeeded in splitting the population and the like have a deep-roote- d fantasy in half, and will continue to do so for many they don't want to be equal to men. they years to come. But as sure as the want to 0 men. Freud supports this theory now that through his research, pointing out that amendment will be the ratification deadline has expired, there women envy certain aspects of the male 8i 0 m species. So. why not give them what their little hearts desire. No longer will they feel the need to complain about being treated as second-clss- s citizens. No longer win they have anyone but themselves to blame for their lot in life. They will, in actuality, become men. And one of the best parte of all this is These merely a won't be crying out for abortions anymore as it won't be necessary. It is yet to be seen that a man can get pregnant. No more ERA missionaries to contend with. No more protests. No more NOW. Just blessed peace. Granted,-se- x change operations are not That is cheap. why it is recommended that be federally funded, to that even the they poorest of these latter-da- y suffragettes arent left outV;....ii v Incredible as it seems, this concept of sts by-prod- pro-choi- ce . ; federally funded sex change operations would probably be easier to swallow for liberals. Conservatives would be harder to convince simply because of the use of :' fedaral funds. Liberals,' however, should jump at this one. They are the ones who are always looking to fund something federally. And chances are, if conservatives had a d choice they would prefer to have their tax dollars going to fund sex change operations rather than abortions, simply x because once again it ia the proverbial tt (ERA and killing of two abortion) with one (taxes). no Invariably, but one will take thi$ solution very seriously. And, sad but true, on June 30, 2041. the 'amendment will once again die. three states short of ratification. And on it goes. Mark Stat, a "Chronicle" columnist, didn't friends this quarter Apian on having-man, . . anyway . hard-earne- pains-in-the-bu- pain-in-the-b- utt y Ail lit -- i i 3 i-r Win CALL FOR NIGHTLY SPECIALS . Roast Leg of Lamb Every Sunday mmr Open 7 Days a Week 7 a.m. 10 p.m. 1500 West North Temple 531-776- ..in THKT GCEAWIN YOU VOTEP 7 VWteVLM POWN ft mm mmm MACHO W BRfV MAjN m mm. 5MIRK0N PIpN'T-YOU PIE P1ZZAR1A Open For Lunch 11:004:00 with daily specials MONDAY FRIDAY 1320 East 2nd South (under the University Pharmacy) 582-019COUPON 3 A- wmw YOUR I FAC, |