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Show Page Four The Daily Utah Chronicle, Tuesday, January 2, 1979 EDXTOBXAL mki 2P" s oi IL km C J . e.i. ness x MY BAG AND 15 IW o BLACK. A POCKETS Lusty mistress of New Year's Eve So there I was. , Heavy stomach, eyes bloodshot from vodka, still bitter from the bad call on USC's first touchdown. The morning had vanished like a cocktail waitress at a.m. It was almost dusk. And I was still alive. Another J, another Bloody Mary, another year. I had to laugh. 1 roommate was on my ass to do the dishes as he was picking the buds off a tender stock. The weekend was winding down and I'd lost the phone number of the buxom blonde French waitress written in lusty loops on the back of a zig-za- g pack. So what happens on the tube? So what does the "Juice" sav? "The Trojans are penetrating, heading for pay My dirt." i vojkkssss .a ii ff" What could I do but close my eyes and remember. Last night. The aquarium party. One hundred and four Deoole jammed into a giant aquarium where there were more goldfish than anyone could eat. Talk about New Year's Eve parties? The atmosphere at this party was pure Everclear and soda. Everyone dressed as fish, some as corduroy seahorses, some as satin squid. I was a sunken aircraft carrier. I just held model 4 Phantoms in my hands, glued cold tar to my body and walked around saying things like: 'I'm an aircraft .r m F-- carrier." "J rvas so drunk. Someone mentioned Pynchon and Goethe as if there was some deep sexual tie between them. Solhad toinjectthe themes from Red Grange's Favorite Football Stories And when everyone crouched for a carpet scrimmage, I knew it was a new year. " Thomas "The Wiley" Trout University Statistics Seminar with Bruce Hill, visiting professor of statistics, U. of Michigan and grad students welcome. Grad credit available through Economics Department Thursday Evenings, 7:15 p.m. All faculty Buc 302. Topics include: Foundational and Historical issues, weighted least squares, paretozipe law, outlier problems, Bayesian inference, statistical research problems. FIRST MEETING JAN 4th DETAILS CALL 581-748- 1 ECONOMICS DEPT. Of course it was hard to speak, the soda immediately rushing in and all that, but I guess that's New Year's Eve. I guess that's why those three Japanese brothers kept daring each other to commit Hari Kari but couldn't do it to a disco beat. I guess that's why the jellyfish riding the motorcycle tried to jump the giant tortoise and smashed the heat lamp instead, plunging the entire aquarium party into mad, confusing darkness. I guess that's why I fell in love again, this time with an electric eel whose skin was hot to the touch even when the soda turned to slush. guess that's why I couldn't scream at the TV longer than it took for my roommate to clean those buds. I COUGH? PAIN? HEABACKES? F VERS? UTTER MISERY 1AL 8 & OLDER needed to participate in evaluation of a new anti-influen- za drug At first signs of illness call DIVISION OF INFECTIOUS DISEASES, MEDICAL OR CENTEE, 581-881- 1 UNIVERSITY STUDENT HEALTH CENTER, 581-643- 1 |