OCR Text |
Show THE BEAVER PRESS, BEAVER, UTAH TO WALLACE: Veiled Hint WEEKLY NEWS ANALYSIS ewis Battles Law; Baruch Sees 'Total Mobilization7; Eisenhower Repeats His flefosal Taft-Hartl- Ruminating on Ruminants, Or Cogitating About Cows ey Beleased by WNU Feature AVtca By DAUKIIAGE Analyst and Commentals (EDITOR'S NOTE: When opinions art expresrrd In these columns, the? are those at Western Newspaper Union's news analysts and sot necessarily of this newspaper.) r WASHINGTON, The subject of cows recently called to my attention. has been days, a cow was supposed to be an animal word meaning rumiis just a three-lette- r word which also sometimes means a later. was When applied to cows instead of specapitalists, the cold has the oppocies or a ruminant, I thought it was site effect on longevity. Accord- something fearful ing to a recent article in Food Ineuwas V which , a McGraw-Hil- l dustries, publicaadphem istically the Russians tion, .lave produced, dressed as "Bos-sie,- " by means of a chilling process apand which (I cows plied from early which live with a high output to 1 h?!'4 not hurt me. 15 years, yield up to 100,000 liters the former rj( It, J took of milk and cive birth to 15 calves. statement as cor t The process Is simple. One se n's reet but had crave lects a calf from selected parents, latter. Later I was It is put in an unheated barn where 1 taught that the temperature is kept at five do .' ? spelled, not bossie. grces fahrenheit. The barns, I take 2HUbut cow, and still it, are much like the ordinary Soviet Inter I was chased by one. This citizen's dwelling except that there caused additional doubt concerning is plenty of bedding and the calves free information furnished by one's elders. Then came the crossword puzzles. I saw that "three, horizontal" was a three-lette- r word meaning ruminant. Having heard of the word "ruminate" by that time, and thinking it r that, thinking or, if you will, ruminating, was a fairly common practice among the genus homo, I wrote down "man." Later when I met a ' 1 number of congressmen I was convinced of my error. In the early of the bovine species. Now it nant. There is another three-lette- r ruminant of which I will speak Before I knew that a cow cither a member of the bovine calf-hoo- if - Now I know that neither definition is entirely wrong. A cow ruminates when it chews its cud (having chewed it before), and a man ruminates when he chews an idea upon which he has chewed before. In some ways however, cows and men differ. In fact, cows even differ In some respects from women, although all three creatures man. woman and cow are mammals, the highest form of vertebrate, those which (the authorities inform me) nurse their young with milk. Just how man gets into this category is a little beyond me, but that is what the scientist says, and 1 am willing to strain my credulity a little. After all. I suppose that my father, who paid for the milk which I drank when I got so 1 could take it out of a glass, nourished me in a manner of speaking. We will let it go at that, although it seems to me that a man assumes a little of what might be criticized as the gland manner of speaking when he tries to get more than a grade B rating as a mammal. But to return to the differences between cows on the one hand, and men and women on the other (and I think no one will contradict me when I say there ARE differences! : One thing a cow cannot do that a man can, is blow its own horn. And as we know from listening to the soap operas, it is easier to make a woman slip than to make a cowslip. Now what has a cow got that you and I haven't? Answer: Cattle are closely related to the buffalo, the bison and the yak. I defy any pcnealogist to produce a bison, a buffalo and a yak in one human family tree. On the other hand, in the branches of a cow's family tree, there arc no monkeys. In some ways the cow has superior abilities. For instance, I have seen a cow roll over without spilling a drop of milk, which is more than any man, carrying a similar amount of lacteal fluid, could do. Thilologically, the cow seems to have somewhat of an edge on man, at least for those who believe in the capitalistic system. The Latin word for cattle (as of course you know if you just looked it up as I did) is "pecus." And the word pecuniary is derived from that, and the words cattle, chattel and capital are to each other what cow itself is to buffalo, bison and yak. All present-dabreeds of cattle, 1 am authoritatively informed, are descended from the two types, large and small, known in prehistoric times in Europe. However, in recent time- - (and now we are getting down to what started me ruminating), something new has been added. We now have developed what might be laughingly called "hot cows" and "cold cows." y The "hot" are the Brahmas which have been insinuated into our own American strains t inure them to our southern latitudes and for other As you know, Brahma purposes. cattle are known by their humps. A braw Brahma has a large hump just abaft the shoulders, a d the others of lesser rank have smaller humps getting down to something not much larger than a fever blister. The ' cold" cow is quite a different tiling. As might be expected, it comes from Russia where they invented the cold war, the cold ghoul ckr and the common or Siberian cold, which is .used to correct fal.-ideologies, longevity and monopolis tic capitalism. 'Greatest Killer' LABOR: Lewis Fight John L. Lewis and the Taft-Har- t ley Jaw were locked in a mortal struggle. His United Mine Workers were still out of the pits in a "voluntary" objection to the companies' alleged refusal to provide them with a pension plan. Most of the 400,000 miners were out fish-in;- ;. Lewis himself was out gunning y for the law, enactment of which was largely the result of his activities in the first place. After the miners had gone out, President Truman, acting under the law, had appointed a board to investigate the But when the board difficulties. asked John L. Lewis to testify, he refused. Then the board issued a subpoena requesting that he appear. Again Lewis refused, stating that the board had no right to demand his presence before it. He said he based his disinclination to testify on the facts that: Taft-Hartle- Taft-Hartle- y fact-findin- g Neither he nor the UMW had " done anything covered by the law, thereby nullifying the President's invocation of the law, and Two of the three board mem bers were "biased and preju diced and in honor should not serve." Finally, minutes before the deadline, the burly, chief appeared. It was obvious, of course, that the UMW chief was out to break the enactment. Apparently he was determined to drag the pension dispute all the way through the courts preferably as high as the supreme court to get a final verdict. And any way it turned out, the process would react for the miners' immediate benefit. While the courts would be mulling over the matter the date for the annual renewal of the mine workers' contract in June would be approaching. The longer the present dispute remained unset tled, the worse the nation's coal situation would grow, thus putting Lewis in a good bargaining position to extract a favorable contract for next year. a Taft-Hartle- celebration at California State relyterhnic college. With her, to do a spot of ruminating:, is one of the college's better beef sires, Domino Prince G3rd. His mother was one of the aristocratic ruminants who even now chews her cud in pride over the elegance of her son. are provided with earmuffs. A citizen of the U.S.S.It. doesn't need the earmuffs because he is only allowed to listen to what the government thinks is good for him, and if his ears freeze it's all right with the censor. The results of the chilling process on calves appear remarkable, but not for a moment would I doubt the veracity of the writer-desp- ite my early experience with erroneous information concerning cows. The other type of ruminant upon which these ruminations are based is illustrated in these columns. hp ma i truer How It Passpth After the grey winter days New Hampshire avenue almost sparkles these spring mornings. The elm buds are spreading and the shadows of trunk and limb make sharp patterns on the wide expanse of the huge Belmont house. This house now is occupied by the Eastern Star no family ever could have done more than rattle about in that palatial mansion. I suppose there will be few such palaces built in Washington any more one after another, they are being torn down. The Leitcr house on Dupont Circle is gone and a family hotel is rising in its place. Many other mansions, too big for embassies even, served as boardinj; houses for war workers and now they are empty and for sale. One huge house which I pass occasionally is opened when the third generation, which still retains some of the original fortune, comes to Washington for a wedding or a party. After that the house is sealed up again, the burglar alarms are attached and the old residence goes back to dreaming of the past. A part of this section of WashIs being ington Dupont Circle sealed off for a year while the burrow under the roadbuildrrs grassy park to make an underpass for trolley cars and automobiles. This will be the final blow of disfiguration to Connecticut avenue, which has yielded gradually over the years since I first knew It, to the vulgarian invasion. A block below Dupont Circle that once was gay with the chatter of nursemaids and children of the foreign diplomats stood the British embassy. On the site today is a filling gtntii n. Aimni'aiis have eaten banpnas since tne 19th century but still many misconrt pf ions concerning them ex ist, says M'dile America Informa- tion. N'ot. we h"pe, that they should be kept in refrierntor. lh' Two thirds of all divorces are granted to v.omtn. Is tint brc-u- if of ma It- chivalry or tie lack of if y 2. bushy-eyebrowe- d y MOBILIZE: Controls? Bernard M. Baruch approves of selective service and universal military training for the present quasi-crisibut he does not think that is enough to meet all the implications the world situation holds. The financier and presidential ad viser called also for an "economic mobilization plan" and said that America's failure to muster all its resources now for peace'would leave "no alternative but to mobilize for war" in the future. Baruch told the senate armed services committee that he was afraid that if the nation suddenly and without preparation were called upon to mobilize and prepare for a big war, such forces of domestic inflation would be set in motion as could blow the country wide open and leave it defenseless. He suggested the appointment of someone to "watch the impact upon our economy of the partial mobilization we are entering upon and to maintain a constant inventory, bal ancing all our growing commitments against our resources." It had not been a hidden threat, but Baruch's statement had focused attention on the possible danger that a sudden spate of military spending could bring about ruinous inflation. As a result, talk of reviving the defunct OPA was being heard in Baruch's Washington. warning touched off informal discussions in congress about the possibility of recontrols, rationing viving wage-pricand other curbs on the domestic economy. This, of course, had been an integral part of President Truman's famous program against inflation which he proposed last year, but most congressmen virtually had gagged at the thought of reimposing price and w'oge controls, and the President was accused of trying to set up something like a "police e state." Now, however, congressmen were not so sure. They were beginning to wonder if the military spending necessary to contain Russia might not have to be buttressed by controls at home. L. Martin, pioneer airbuilder, revealed that the U. S. has developed an offensive weapon superior to the atomic bomb. lie called it a "radioactive cloud the greatest killer of human beings ever devised." Martin said also, "I'd be in favor of using it before I'd become a slave to another nation." Glenn craft LUCIUS CLOBB On War Neres vuli-taris- "Say, by gosh, that there gives me a right smart idea for an aphorism. Nothing I like better than an aphorism. What d'you think of this Pharonie: Between 1941 and 1945 we were united with Russia in the bonds of holy warlock, but now the honeymoon's over, the lock is busted and there ain't no thin' left of the original idea except war." "Mister Clobb, you can put that out in the corn crib with the rest of your aphorisms," commented tlie critical Pharonie. "Mcbbe so," sighed the eldir statesman, but it worries vie not knowin' how to feel about this here world situation. I'm gettin' on toward G'J, so I could afford to think that in order to have peace and a secure foreign policy we first got to rig up a strong backbone at home. And a strong backbone right now means a strong army and navy and air force." REPEAT: Ike's ';V Gen. Dwight D. Eisenhower, boy of both political parties, said it once more: He would not be a presidential candidate on any- fair-haire- d body's ticket. There had been a lull following his unequivocal refusal of Republican overtures, and then the sentiment was resurrected in the hearts of no fewer than four widely divergent groups. Probably the most unique approach wlis being made by Torrey Stearns, a New York public relations man, who harbors the opinion that Elsenhower is a Republican. He conceived a "People for Eisenhower" movement. The method is a nationwide solicitation of votins citizens to send in postcards bearing this signed testimony: "I want to vote for General Eisen hower for president in November. I am a citizen of voting age." "On June 21." Stearns announced, all of the statements will be pre sented to the Republican national convention as indisputable evidence that the people of the United States demand the nomination of Dwight D. Eisonhower for president." But Eisenhower was having none of it. Speaking through a statement by MaJ. Gen Floyd L. Parks, army press chief, he indicated that "his no politics statement of some weeks ago" should "apply to all parties and groups of voters." Aw, Drop Dead ... Came here from the stix Parrish . . . kid two A years ago . . . With a flaming yen to be an actress . . . She had no No nothin' . . "contacts" Just ambition . . . Lived in a furIn the 100s . . nished room Went to a dramatic school . . . Her story is similar to hundreds you hear around Broadway . . . These kids live in smelly hall bedrooms . . . When they could be home with the family in comparative luxury . . . Like other kids her age she loved candy bars . . . Pastries and ice cream sodas . . . Then she thought she was getting too plump to So she went get a role in a flop on one of those diets . . . When she had dizzy spells, her doc warned her . . . "But there's a chance in a new show," she said . . . The other ayem when her alarm clock went off it frightened her to death, the coroner reported . . . She achieved in death what she couldn't in life . . . The newspapers, quoting the coroner, said: "Occupation, actress." ... ... ... where near it. It is the fact that the newly discovered pin net cuts through the earth's orbit that makes it unusual. Only four other minor planets have been found which do this, and they have since been lost to astronomers' telescopes. y to 4orabr 49 s ... M the4 su radr-- HOMEBODY: No Meeting With the arrival of spring and th yearly rebirth of hope eternal, a second hand rumor suddenly was revived across the Atlantic. It had to do with the rebuilding of the stripped gears of East-We- rela- tions. of is Smart Shirtwaistw OTHER style top, the Pattern Vf - 9 0k . In Germany "Dear WW," writes 3. W. Stowcr of the Detroit Times, "if you feci that newsboys benefit from the experience, we'd like your thoughts on It." The best way to start any career is selling newspapers on street corners. For cne thing you meet a better class of people and, for another, they meet you. Conditions were getting back to the cloak and dagger state. With a dramatic flare, radio Moscow charged that Russia had uncovered an American-directespy ring of former German army officers operating out of western Germany, Austria and Sweden to learn Soviet zone secrets. Leader of the group functioning in the Soviet zone had been captured and had confessed, Moscow reported. The broadcast claimed, in part: "He confessed he was a member of an illegal Faicist organization existing in the western occupation zone of Germany, consisting of officers of the former German army who are being used by the American intelligence service for espionage in the Soviet zone." The Canol pipeline, that project constructed dur- ing the war as a means of gcttine an emergency oil supply from Norman wells in Northwest Canada to Alaska, is ending in the junk yard All that is left of it now is bcinr trucked out for shipment to junk dealers in the Midwest United States Fifty trucks work night and dav out of Johnson's Crossing on the Alaski highway hauline grjlvnm m t $ayoooas wel Haldol $tat tweon this is " ran nc dsn s 1 behvev id coimljre No The Cinemagicians: A generally "The Miracceptable acle of the Bells" gets its applause expressed in long sighs. When the yarn threatens to be mired in sentimental goo, it is rescued by Va Hi. MacMurray and Sinatra. . . . "The Challenge" is a passable sleuth-happchiller that scares up several tingles. . . . "Mary I.ou" has a frail script playing second fiddle to F. Carlc'a pianoing. . . . "Spring." a Russian import, is the most ludicrous Kremlin product Since . last . . . "Marshal of Cripple Creek" tells how the fearless got those preity little notches on his shootin' irons. unff!d On a Switch! Dept.: All 'he candidates who are getting Dig build-upsay they'll run. Ike, wiio doesn't need (,ny, ays ne onX s News Item; "Gerald L. K. Smith, the rabble-rouseviolently ill trow arsenic." r, Oh. the poor, poor arsenic. tS gr!es Snyder cf water bothers Ain't It So fal man A wrapped Dp in hfaJ I makes a very small pacta;'. Coif A chip on the shoulder air, indicates that there Is r. higher up. The reason women arrays j arguments is that only the i f ho hi p matter. men will argue with ttj 4cm in 194t The best way to kill to j W pidr Lev to work it to death. Louis iojrnar Austral BBS rfblaz y & A lurna , - jfr'oi 4 few i ... p. 'I v jtn mm it 4 r r i are Or: titl .acr f ihei 4 E: Wa or Jlhe fuss, on!; m Ri ee bmbi 13 a feck: Nil Ul Ball Eb. i- fits - I to women (38 to 52 yn.) J make you autTer from w feel to nervou. hlshrtrim. Then do try Lydia i t Vegetable Compound tort"". symptoms. rinKnum" can also haa what Docwrl machlo tonic effect LYDIA E. PINKHAM'S wH tear-tugge- What t! ! ee:r Six. f arr, .'t p: A? I 1 t&.'-e- J; r the I pop-off- Junked far As 3.-- .,...in,! Our biggest worry isn't foreigners who think we have all tic money in the world. It's these Americans who think we have all the time. Negro college. a.y-- i cent m &re Address. comment on the N. Y. roastings of his recent kissing spree: "Awl Ah wanta know," he said, "were mah name spelt raht?" . . . Diamond merchants say Bobo'sring cost Rockefeller 42 Gs. . . . Skewp: Eioggers insist that "S" in Mr. Truman's name is merely an initial. It stands for Shippe (rhymes with Mississippi), according to an old dinner guest list at a Providence, R. I., St. Patrick's Day affair. SPIES: 1 Name this gazettes' Hartford railroad for the accident that killed Hal 16 years ao. . . . Marcel Vcrtes, fashion illustrator, has turned to cartooning in his latest book, "It's All Mental." Even psy- chintrisTs howl at it. . . . Latest feud is between Henry Morgan and Carl Brisson because Henry called him the "male Hildegardc." . . . Cloth- ing nifrs. are openly discussing (in New York hotel foyers) their "hundreds of thousands" of orders for uniforms. . . . Botany Mills (biggest of wool factories) has started production of khaki cloth, again. . . . The $237,000 Florida Governor Caldwell won in a libel suit from Collier's will be turned over to A & M, the JSlJil J ;J3 h. shirtwaister-t- his Trl had The rumor, which was being circulated widely in Europe, said that President Truman was planning a trip to the continent for a Big Three conference with Attlee and Stalin. Another version, as given currency by newspapers in Turkey, reported that the President might go to Europe sometime in April and possibly visit Turkey and Greece. All this was good for a flurry of excitement, but in the end it turned out to be nothing more than a clutching at straws. Mr. Truman, the White House announced, had no plans for leaving the country, and there was no prospect of a Big Three meeting. wsir-i- CUtioi srhtt SEWING CIRCLE PATTERV Dpi ouuui rvens oi. .... l'Hica;o Alabam-wham-thank-y- Eunice Skelly, widow of star Hal Skelly, finally has won $100,000 settlement from the N. Y., N. H. and Keys, 8 , ...... .... ma'am, Th' 8285 . Folsom tjfa m& . Send an additional yonr copy of the Sprine mS 7!f fashion. jnoi line. ire. pattern printed also free knitHntr ",u"4 tarns End your order toi marked he was departing for London. . . . "Oh ho," said Wwhal Wwag, "duckin" the draft, eh?" . . Mike Romanoff is now the West coast Billy Rose with mor'n 8C papers carrying his col'm. . . . Billy, himself, after struggling for years to become famed as a showman, songwriter, art collector, storyteller, magazine essayist and winds up with the nickname' "Broadway Rose." Governor years mote wsm Pattern ... Few people can appear more human than this quizzical simian as he bestows a suspicious glare on photographer Arthur Sasse and obviously is thinking he wants his picture taken about as much as he wants a hole in the head. Sasse, staunchly unafraid in his belief that no animal would attack a photographer, has been taking pictures at New York's Bronx zoo for 28 years. 4Sf.'dr tncf"n sion is easy sewinc tern pieces.. Try a bright Dwicu lauric usea m contrar. st r.eri Is 11-1- - tavt Mil XTO Ilowcum the state department itii- MM IN Man About Town: Gael Sullivan will of Mr. Truman's brain-truresign if Jim Farley is taken into Ed Tauley, Demmy councils. the Prez's pal, told chums in California he wouldn't be surprised "if the donkey nomination went to Ike." . . . Carlyle Blackwell, star, was badly hurt when two bulldogs jumped him while out for a stroll in Miami Beach. allowing Max Schmeling a passport to come here and fight at his age Didden he do enough fightof 43? In the Stork the ing for Adolf? other night Randolph Churchill re- PIPELINE: travel in orbits far larger than that of the earth and do not come any- w The Naked City: Her name was Ann 7MM:R&Mi 3 m eye. Now Minor Planet 'Swims Into Ken' U. S. astronomers have revealed the discovery of a bundle from heaven a strange new minor planet which moves around the sun at high speed. The planetoid is only about two miles in diameter. Although there are about 1.600 of these minor chunks of matter, all circling around the earth like the sun, most of them Sallies in Our Alley ex-fil- m "Pharonie," said Lucius Clobb to his helpmate as he arranged a quizzical wrinkle in his brow, "d'you. think we're thunderin' toivard an other war?" "Soon as ymi open your mouth I figure we're in for at least a skirmish," retorted Pharonie. "If you spent half as much time cultivatin' my peace of mind as you do your soybeans we wouldn't have near the arguments we do." She impaled the elder statesman of Pawhooley county on a spearlike glance. "Dang it, Pharonie, why do you have to drag your rockin' chair into everything I set out to do a little talkin' on? One of the reasons you married me in the first place was to get security. Now you got security but you. still want to fight." The light of creative achievement gleamed briskly in Lucius Clobb's BUNDLE FROM HEAVEN ' Henry Wallace, whose third party movement was coming more and more to follow the standard Com munist party line, had reached the status of a complete pariah as far as President Truman was concerned. In his St. Patrick's day address in New York the President had rejected angrily any notion of accepting Wallace's support in his campaign, even if it cost him the election. Then, during the course of remarks made at a dinner meeting of in Washington, Mr. Truman turned on still more heat. He issued an acidulous, thinly veiled suggestion that Wallace take his third party movement to Russia where Mr. Truman obviously thinks it belongs. "I was going to tell you that the Greeks had a Henry Wallace," the President said to his listeners. "I was going to tell you that the Greeks had a statesman, an orator, a demagogue. . . . They had the greatest demagogue of all times, Alcibiades." (Alcibiades was a famous Athenian who, after committing certain indiscretions, was forced to flee Athens. He went to Sparta and there betrayed secrets of his countrymen which were instrumental in bringing about the fall of Athens.) Mr. Truman continued: "If imi tators of that arlcient Greek conqueror want to see . . . liberties subverted, I suggest that they go not to the Rocky mountains that's fine country out there. He ought to go to the country he loves so well and help them against his own country if that's the way he feels." Greek-America- r h Taft-Hartle- This is Tat Walker of Woodland, Calif., queen of the Poly Koyal ! Ty If J For tees,; 5" n, P"'.ant ball .A . And Your StrengW . I. Rrlow P" p ftf It fnajr be caused W fuBctloD tbs P"nrt,1 waaia so aecuiBuii feel tired. people sr - J, 0 when the Sidneys nil '.'" arlde and other ate autt blood Yoo mi; suffer 0 ''" rneuroaue peine. ( u"---let'.l- nt up nlht. H "' ir Sometimes frequent sod tlon with smartinf and o.u'i,c ,h.. .i ih.. f .etbiDI"'"' bladdtr the kidneys or There should be no treatment Is wieel fl00"',! th" , --!,' Alan s PMt II Is medicine thst bas nn """Vj,, proval than on someihtnl known loan s bss sll'r?n, ed many rears Are s Get Ooan t today |