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Show the beavek press, reaver, Utah, Friday, A SILENCE WAS COSTLY nierchi.nt was persuaded to buy parrot. It had traveled far and could jabber In several languages. He ordered it to be sent home. 'J'li same day his wife had ordered a for dinner. On leaving the house she said to the cook: "Mary, there's a fowl coming for dinner. Have it cooked for Mr. Richards when he gets home." Unfortunately, the parrot arrived first, and Mary followed Instructions. A n Dlmier was served. "What's this?" exclaimed ards. Mr. Rich- m Mary told him. "Hiit. for goodness' said, "this Is awful! sake, Mary," he That bird could Hi fii k three languages." "Than why the dickens didn't he say Idaho something?" asked Mary. runner. BLINDING TO THE EYES "You sntrcily notice him when he'a with his wife "flic's true." da.lingly that'a brilliant, Odd Numbers Hurry rather fancied himself as mathematical expert. tine day he met his Cousin Jim. "Think of a number, Jim." he said, 'and i ll tell you whether lt'a odd or even." "I have "Right," said the other. Just called up my girl on the phone. What's the number?" Harry look thoughtful. "Did you get her?" he said. "Yes," replied Jim. "Right away?" inquired the other. "Yes." answered Jim. "That's odd," finished Harry. Boston Herald. It T For the second time that week Cmn Let's Angeles, Nov. 15, keep in mind that a processing tH)t will soon be levied on all hogs marketed and it is expected that Secrewill tary of Agriculture Wallace make announcement as to the amount of the "processor's" tax in a short time. It is probable that the lax will bo effective about November 1st. Certain producers have asked that a processing tax of at least two cents a pound on ive hogs he levied a a d information coming from Wash-h::',Useems to indicate a tax of at least one cent a pound. Funds derived from the process-- , ins tax will be used to pay for the emergency pork reduction campaign, during which nearly six million 25 to lou-lpigs were slaughtered and chan not permitted to enter meat for nels, excepting a small portion relief work. Additional funds deriv ed from the processing tax may be used to subsidize exports of surplus pork products and lard otherwise, wi'h possibility that farmers who reduce coin acreage and hog produc tion over a long period will also share in benefits from the process-In- g tax. It must be understood that the wholesale slaughtering of little pigs and bred sows was undertaken purely as an emergency measure, it may work. Certainly, there will be many thousands of tons less pork to be marketed early in 1934 than would otherwise have been the case. The growers themselves are paying for the whole program, we will begin to realize the shortage in production shortly before the first of the year and for. three to four months thereafter. In other words, the program was not expected to improve hog prices until the usual winter packing season is under way. What the Federal administration and the growers are now Interested in is a program that will bring about some permanent plan to keep production somewhere in line with probable consumption at a fair price !o the grower. This program is expected to call Tor reduction in corn acreage In the middle west along with reduced numbers of hogs. There certainly should he no disposition on the part of anyone to cut down pork production in sections where production is far below consumption, provided that in such sections, pork production is feasible and economically sound. To my mind, the far western states, should he eneou raged to raise more pork for it is economically unsound to ship hogs and pork products many hundreds of miles into a section where pork is products needed to round out a well balanced agricultural program. Los You Sea Mrs. Brown went Into the grocer's shop and ordered a dozen boxes of matches. "I'ardon me for mentioning It, Mrs. Brown," said the grocer, "but I seem to remember serving you with a dozen boxes last Monday." "Yes, It does seem strange," said the customer; "but the explanation Is simple.. My dear husband Is deaf and dumb and he talks quite a lot In his sleep t" Answers Magazine. Born Too Lata little boy came home from school very much annoyed with his teacher. "I hate her," he declared. "Oh, you mustn't say that," said his mother. "The Bible tells lis to love every body." "I know," replied the boy, "but Miss Jones wasn't alive when the Bible was written." Idaho Farmer. A Los Angeles, property GOOD STIMULANT "Didn't the mountain air brace you up?" Wonderful "Wonderful I Why, after I had been there for three weeks, I got so that I could pay my bill without a quiver." 1 Took Them by Storm Interested Listener Did you really put some wild Arabs to rout In the middle of the desert simply by using a golf club? Explorer Yes, I took a couple of practice swings and they thought a sand storm was blowing up! Tale Spins. Proof Positive Young Husband It seems to me my dear, that these pancakes are rather heavy. His Bride Then I'm afraid you're a poor Judge, for the cookbook says they are light and, feathery. Watchman-E- xaminer. Appaaranca "A man should always take his hat off In the presence of a lady," said Mr. Oldsehool. "Of course," said Miss Cayenne. "But considering the clothes we may now be wearing, how is he going to know she'i a lady?" Fatted Calf Huh Suitor I er suppose you are aware that I've been making advances to your daughter. Father Imeecunlous (extending hand' Yes; put It there, son. And now what about her poor old fataer? Loudon Opinion, Nov. 1, A cowman niakis an interesting suggestion as to one wiy to build up cattle pro- diicili'ii in many parts of the West. " li e cattlemen are combining cattle production with ordinary farm ing operations. It is his opinion that cattlemen who have farming would do well to consider raising only "cow feed" on their farming property, to the end that they may produce a larger percentage of fat beef. He believes that many cattlemen who are raising farming products could finish their beef cattle every year, and do It to better advantage than could bp done in ordinary dry lots far distant from where the cattle are produced. He believes that ordinary range conditions, not a large .enough percentage of fat cattle can be produced. When lh" cowman attempts to force his half fat cattle on the market, he not only fails to obtain a satisfactory price but such plain beef injures consumption and hurts the price to others. The objection of the cowman to feeding cattle is that as a usual thing, his land Is taxed so high that he cannot afford to raise cow feed but must raise crops that offer higher financial returns. It Is possible through organized effort of a strong X X I" A I j II O.M KCO.MI X (i er As the will be Erosh-Sop- h tug-o-wa- r. begins a huge "A" tug-o-w- 17, - itsa IT REALTY HAPPENED TO STUDY HIBERXATIOV It Is really getting too late in the Secrets of (hibernation have been year for fish storiea, but this one is guarck-carefully so are we by the bear famgood passing it on. It was ily in the Most readers, writes John F. Harefforts of nutur-aliand past man a contributed by by the name mon, Louisville, 111., are familiar to learn them have met with of of Burke, Lincoln, Andy Nebr, small success. with the stories of Kansas storms. They may be secrets no longer if As we lived some time In that windy who writes: Child of YelRanger a local fisherman spendHoneatly, state we can testify tliat they do lowstone Park succeeds in a Minnesota some at time lake his plan over on Mr. Bruin -putting have some mighty blows out there. ing as gospel out this it summer puts He will try to Some people think that the stories !... .... ,1... nf TmItf Vila persde a yearling about Kansas cyclones are milv Llulu mot uii mt; r uuj in ui nui.r fire- - bear to ake up winter quarlera ia was lOyear-olshooting boy a .specially prepared jokes. underground PX. den I'M elr fra rtnt fivpr flip lnlrp tfl apparently only connected with We heard of on man who moved . that on(. a the surface by the bear's own enfrom Missouri to western Kansas, msg Uu. watt1. fmin and trance. But the joker is that it i8 who did not believe , any of the abbed 0Ile of lhe tlre(.ra.ker8. equipped with a sort of periscope IIU hooted at them storm stories. .'The firecracker exploded ' in the and a listening device by which tho and declared that he was not afraid', bass's mouth and knocked him 20 ranger hopes to find out how the of all the storms that ever bewi, (inland). The man hear passes the winter. across Kansas. He boasted so that 'feet from shore to hands . on the fish haste .made lay Information Such must come his wife warned him and to d him ' . . . .., waa from bears in their natural homes uau, IL lkii ,,, uiuiiri. i ue that some great judgment would emu not harmed in any way, merely a the actions of bears are quite come upon him for his blasphemy. blown out of the water onto dry different in captivity and in their But her warnings only made him land. native habitat. worse. o vv nen ne saw Lost 150 in a Venial by Tourist, Lays We will accept a limited amount tnreatenings ot coming storm be would go out and Ktreel for over wwk Unobserved of wood, hay, grain, meat, poultry, shake his fist at it and declare that The following story is absolutely Or labor on Subscription accounts. he could side track or swallow any true, but it is so unusual that one Beaver Press cyclone that came his way. One day who did not know the people involall indications pointed to a comipg ved, would want it placed in the cyclone. He went out in the yard Wrhopper eoiumn. On June 18th, Mr. nad Mrs. and mocked the storm. W OMEN ! While his mouth was open cursing and their two small sons left NEED XO LOXGKK SUFFER AT the storm the cyclone broke on him Long Beach in their car for DenI XTERVALS PERIODIC OH in great fury. The full force of It ver, Arriving in Vernal, Utah, on WORRY ABOUT DELAY! him in the mouth. His wife the 20th about 9:30 p. m. they plans'ruek LAXVIBURNUM and boy looking out of the window ed to stay over for the night but heard a fearful noise and saw him the weather wag so warm and clear Relieves the most stubborn cases bound up in the air more than 20 they decided to drive on. They stopquickly and effectively. Different feet and then drop to the ground ped in front of a drug store to get a from anything you have ever used. Priced S5 for full size. Sent drink of root beer. standing on his feet. Sold Mr. in plain wrapper, postpaid Tbe.y drank their beer and The storm passed instantly and when the wife and boy ran out they Sellak took out his pipe to fill it. only by U. S. LABORATORIES saw a fearful sight. The cyclone had Finding that the tobacca was almost struck him in the mouth and turned gone, he went back into the store Box 20(10 Hlywood Sta., Los Aug. and purchased another can of Edge- ( Clip and put away! ) him completely inside out. in it and worth, his placing pocket The frightened boy bridled a nearinto the gutter what he by horse and rode furiously into a throwing near-btown after a doctor and lie thought was an empty can. On Tuesday morning, the 21st, he ALIMONY & DIVORCE LAWS OF was so frightened that he stopped at discovered that the can and money ANY STAE in the Union and Mexithe first doctor's sign and tlod him were gone. What had become of it? co, with plain English explanitory to jump on the horse behind him Mrs. Sellak said he must have comment and annotations. A differil nick. thrown it away. He replied that ent publication for each state. Cov-leNow the boy not being familiar that was At any rate, ers marriage, divorce, alimony, impossible. with the dfferent kinds of doctors separate continued on their trip, arriv- gal separation, annulment, and support of maintenance, had gotten a horse doctor. The horse they in Denver on the 22nd ing where children, etc. custody state wanted. Specify doctor said when they got there he they remained with Mrs. Sellak's Price SI. 00. never before in all his life had seen father until the 27th. THE CRIMINAL LAWS OF ANY such a sight. The man was still had planned to return home STATE in plain English with full They inside out turned the and standing by way of Cheyenne, but something explanation. Price SI. 00. wife was scared into hysterics. LAWS fully told ttiem to come back over the THE BANKRUPTCY But the horse doctor began work same route by which they hal gone, explained: who may become a bankrupt, voluntarily, involntarilv. Price on the man at once and it took him, which they did. They stopped on the boy .and a hired hand more than the return trip at Vernal, at the $1.00. MEXICAN DIVORCE LAWS and intwo hours to turn him back again same drug etore, to buy the boys formation gratis. and even then it was two or three some ice cream, and there, lying DELE WARE CHARTERS: safe soudays before the man felt like him- under their car, they noticed a nd, sure; obtained in 24 hours. self. That experience, however, cur- tobacco can all jammed together, ANY LAW QUESTION fully ans trained ed him of sneering at Kansas Mrs. Sellak. out of cyin swered by competant, curiosity, for SI. 00. clones, but he never got over growl- vestigated and upon the opening RESEARCH SOCIETY ing because the horse doctor charg- can believe, it or not - there was lfiO--LEGAL Maltman Ave., Los Angeles Cal ed him four dollars for only two his $150 in that dear old can Ver(Clip this adv. it may come handy hours work. , nal WHOPPERS The fourth Annual Homecoming of Utah celebration for Alumni State Agricultural College will begin two days before the Homecoming Day game on Saturday, November 18. Intensive plans are being laid for the mammoth affair. On the first day of the the rally will begin with the staging of the annual November lighted on .the slopes of Mt. Logan. The "A" will be outlined in blazing kerosene lights and will burn all night. The next evening is scheduled to be the oflicial Homecoming rally. A huge bonfire will illuminate the scene for the beginning of the second night's rally. All Aggies will gather to witness the bonfire and when the flames are dying down, 500 torches will be lighted from the embers of the fire. The fun makers will proceed down town in a gigantic torch light parade to me rep vauuevute. in past years the annual Pep Vodie has been the highlight of the Homecoming en tertainnient and this year much tal ent will be displayed at these stunts. The Day of the Game will also be the day of the parade and of the Alumni Reunion. Before the game a huge parade will proceed along Lot and lead the way gan's up to the Stadium. Floats from all collegiate organizations and entries from many of the business houses of Logan and surrounding communities will vie for honors and contestant prizes. After the contest all Aggies will attend the fraternity and sorority open houses and from there go to the Annual .Harvest ball. The Harvest Ball is an added feature to the 193;! Homecoming and will provide an excellent agency by which Alumni with may mingle friensd and classmates. This social function will provide a fitting climax to the great Aggie HomecomMain-Stree- ings, -- O- racketeering Warning of a new kind of racket- eering by individuals professing to "assist" farmers in securing loans from, the credit agencies of the Farm Credit Administration for a substantial fee was received by the Federal Land Bank In Berkley. California from Henry Morganihau Jr., Governor of the Administration. The new type of confidence man solicits fees or commissions on the promise either of aid in getting loans or by increasing the amount the farmer-borrowhopes to get. "The statement is repeated by the Farm Credit Administration", says Morgenthau's warning, "that no unofficial intermediary is necessary for farmers to make application for loans and no such person will have any influence upon the amount of the loan made. The form of application adopted by the land hanks some months ago was very much simplified compared to the former application and an ample supply of such blanks Is always In the hands of the seeretary-treasuerer- s of the national farm loan associations or other authorized correspondents of the banks." Under ft lie modified application form, borrowers niake a single deposit of $11 whether they require a land bank loan, a commissioner's loan, or both. The property which the farmer offers Is so appraised that when the appraiser's report is before the loan committee of the st , d ! y" , Sei-la- k y law-ver- l Express. sometime) mm nVTi'TiM-ii- . er bank, It can determine whether TO OUR SUBSCRIBERS WE ARE IN POSITION TO ACCEPT THE one or two loans may be made. The applicant is so notified and told the amount, or amounts determined. ADVERTlSIXO B.X OX agkxcies PUT BALLYHOO Under the terms of Washington a proposed code submitted to N R A Live Stock Association, that It would be possible to induce county asses- by the national advertising agencies sors to tax land on the basis of what which handle the contracts for proit is best fitted to produce. Natural-lv- . ducts advertised in newspapers and a man with both range and farming land would be best adapted to magazines and by radio and billraising cow feed and it seems only boards, ballyhoo Is barred. The code fair that the land should be assess- brands as "unfair practices" prepared aind taxed accordingly. There Is a growing opinion among ation and handling of ads containcattlenient that it Is becoming more ing untruthful, misleading, or Inde.Hid more necessary to market only cent statements. Another unfair fat beef if there Is to any profit in practice is c adverMarkut the business. calls claims including Insufficiently for better finished beef. Them Is al- tising, and supported by accepted authority," ways a surplus of unfinished common quality beef. partly be- Exploitation by society women, base cause of the fact that dairymen are ball and tennis players, pilots, etc., continually unloading their surplus anything that does not rome strictly tows through beef channels. In other words, the cowman is In their line is definitely out: so are at tempting to work his business out misleading price claims and even so that he is not entirely dependent, upon the elements and the pur- "Indirect misrepresensation." There chase of the higher pricexl feeds in can be no commission spllttlug or reorder to finish his stock in the years bates to advertisers. "Savants" when moisture is deficient. be quoted unless their are confirmed. Protection of lI.VMOXf(" from exaggeration and the public In Brazil, prostpectors on the fantasies In advertising seeins definbanks of the Saobento River reported finding seven huge diamonds, one itely provided. a ,, of which weighed over 2.000 carats We wil( accept a limited amount second largest diamond ever of wood, hay, grain, meat, poultry, found. About th,. size of a man's fist, a 2.ooti-carbluewhlte dia or labor on Subscription accounts Beaver Press mond is worth $10,000,000. FOLLOWING: m m ySi Wood I Hay - - Grain Labor - Poultry Meat - Coal - ON m m m i SUBSCRIPTION itHBIMliMM can-p- at ft i YOUR "pseudo-scientifi- state-ment- 9 il i The Beaver Pres: n |