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Show BEAVER PRESS STOP RHEUM MercolizedWax Are iota a foimei Keeps Skin Young Get uounoe and nea aedireatad. Pine pertldae of Med kin pael ofl until all defeote eucb aa pi m plea, livar apota, tan and fracklaa dieeppeer. Skin la than eofl and velvety. Your laoa looka yaara younger. Mereoliaed Waa bring out tha bidden beauty of your akin. Ta) remove wrlnklea uaa one ounoe Powdered baaoltts ll dlaeolved m pint witch naaal. At drug atoxea. rTT..i n Big Men Not Always Strong W. Leonard Johnson, physical examiner for the New Jersey civil service commission, finds that size requirements for policemen are based on the belief that big men are strong. By tests on 450 applicants for police positions, he found that size bore no relation to strength In men over 5 feet C Inches tall, says Popular Science Monthly. Further tests revealed that up to 165 pounds, weight bore some relation to strength, but above that none, lie said these facts showed that physical requirements for patrolmen needed revision. Hard-Boile- d with Rubber Ears The Ancient and Honorable Order of G. Wash. Pullers The Guild of Former Organ Pumpers The Ancient Order of Froth Blower The Slumbering Ground Hog Lodge The International Bar Flies The Club of America The Society of Author Who Have Been Hissed The Circus Fan Association The Ancient and Honorable Order of Blue Goose The Six-FoAssociation Bald-Heade- Mentholatum M fp ' cools, heali and lofteni I chapped lip, face and hands. It i in inexpensive and valuable. aid to a good complexion, i V nui -lUDCe, Jan i d D-- j oltJ Thousands hv. f j ?n guard agamst cht this genuine red n.r, cold,, tained in an ointment that joo'J on. In less than lief come. It ia called RoZ 1 S The Society of Men Who Wear Funny Hat Association The Hay-FevThe Quiet Birdmen The Woodland Bard The Caterpillar Club The Benjamin Franklin The National Society of Long Fellow The Society of Giant Engineer The Fosil The Cub Reporters' Association The Sick and Sorry Club The Son of Wild Jackasse' Club Club The Ship Model-MakeThe Whosit Club The Bean Barrel Club The Polar Bear Club The Ancient, Honorable and Mystical Order of Lapa Lapa occuij,, wU.B "counter-irritant- ." Muscular lumbago, t" because its penetrates and stimulates blood circulation and helps to draw out infection and pain. It gets action and is not just a salve. But do not stop with one application. Apply this soothing, cooling, healing ointment generously to the affected area once every hour for five hours. Used by millions for over 20 years. Recommended by many doc tors and nurses. All druggists. warm-ingacti- To Mothers Musterole is also made in milder form for babies and small children. Ask for Chil dren s Musterole. Great Genius a Martyr Phidias, the great sculptor and architect, was born In Athens, B. C. 498 and died there In B. C. 432. He died In prison a martyr to his friendship for Pericles, on whom his persecutors aimed by this action to Inflict suffering. be- cause of Its original use In fulling woolen cloth. Surround yourself with lots of good company If you are a worrier. Then, you'll forget to worry. The bowlegged man has an open gate of bis own. PARKER'S HAIR BALSAM OandroS Stone Hair FaiUu impart Color and y Beauty to Gray and Faded Hail TL 6oe and II .00 at Dnurniata. I Kjal piWES., gRlawn (.'turn. Wki., I'etrhninie.N.'T -- -- I. I Salt Lake City's fewest Hotel 'I 1 rid of A By ELMO SCOTT WATSON OMB one has made the wise-crac- k that If two or more men meet anywhere In the world and one of them Is an Englishman, he will Immediately get busy and organize a club, the Insinuation being, of course, that the Englishman is by nature a "joiner." Even If that were true, the fact remains that he has little, if anything, on his American cousin Wot m In fVtfa faannnf ( cuuiic ofot'a. oiaua' j ium t v v le a vt itnltoKla ihw tics f show that there are In the United States more than 125,000 V, lodges or fraternal organizations which should presumably satisfy the longing of the majority of Americans for "belonging." But that" doesn't take Into account the innumerable clubs, societies, associations and other organizations and rare indeed Is the American who doesn't belong to one or more of these. All of these, of course, are organized for a "purpose" social, political, civic, business, scientific, professional, patriotic and honorary and those purposes are earnestly fostered by millions of earnest Americans. And some of these earnest Americans are so Interested in fostering those earnest purposes that they make an earnest effort to see how many of them they can Join and then base their claim to fame on the number of organizations to which they belong. But If some aforesaid earnest American becomes Just a bit tired of his membership in clubs which have a "purpose," he still has an outlet for his "joining" proclivities In some organizations which are not so purposeful. These are the ones which have sometimes been designated as "freak and fun clubs," and It is with this type of organization that this article deals. So If you are a "joiner" and are looking for other club worlds to conquer, take a look at the list at the head of this article and decide which one you would like to join. Of course, the qualifications for some of them may be a bit difficult for you to meet, but If you aren't eligible for one, you may be for another. For Instance, If you aren't a white person, six feet and one Inch tall or more, you'd be almost instantly blackballed If you applied for membership In the National Society of Long Fellows or association. The National Society the of Long Fellows was started several years ago by Phil E. Zimmerman of Topeka, Kan., when he was hotel commissioner of the Sunflower state. Since that time the club has grown so rapidly that there are now several thousand members throughout the United States. Some of the objectives of the club are to get longer bath tubs, shirts, sox and other clothing, higher awnings, signs and ceilings, bigger seats In theaters and between the rows, restaurant tables that do not require the Long Fellow to hold them up with his knees and pull-ma- n berths In which they can sleep without doubling up like a Jnekknife. Among members are John Aasen of Los An geles, Calif., who heads the list with a height of Inches. Next eight feet, nine and tallest Is Clif Thompson of Wisconsin, who Is eight feet nnd six Inches. Three are O. R. Williams of Oklahoma and Huth Pun-ca- n nnd Forest Glenn of Illinois. Mr. Williams Is seven feet and five Inches, Miss Duncan Is seven feet and one Inch tall, nnd Mr. Glenn Is Itob- half an inch taller than she. erf Wadlow of Alton, III., Is a member, ltobert Is six feet and eleven inches tall. If your personal appearance doesn't qualify you for that one, perhaps an absence of hair on your head will make you a Knight of the Gleaming Skull In the P.ald Head Club of America. That club was started away back in 10OO when I'nul Meade, a lawyer of New York, took a photo men seated on the graph of six steps of John Beldeu's store In Falls Village, Conn. By chance a copy of this photograph fell Into the hands of John Rodemeyer, a Greenwich, Conn., newspnper man. And presto I John then and there formed a club. Now It has more than 1,000 members and at every annunl banquet some member gives a stirring speech on "Hair Tonics Which Bald Headed Barbers Sell to Boobs" or gome such subject. (P. S. If you're addicted to covering your baldness with outlandish headgear, then there' a place for you In the Society of Men who Wear Funny leg-roo- i44kO & ,y one-quart- r Wife seven-footer- HOTEL TEMPLE SQUARE 200 Rooms 200 Tile Baths RATES FROM J1.50 Just oppo$itt C bald-heade- ThtwA ROSSITER, Mgr. Mortmon The ttlonl Vacation Land Sunshine All Winter Lang Splendid roads towering mountain ranges Highest type hotels dry lu. rlgorntlng air clear starlit nights California'! Faramoit Writ CrM -v Drt Playground A Chaffy priiigQS Sjcilm CALIFOnMA W. N. U., Salt Lake City, N. s d Radio connection in every room. ERNEST 10-19- 32 A Now easy to Six-Fo- FLUKES TON SHAMPOO Ideal for use in connection with Parker' Hair Balaam. Makes tha hair (oft and flu fly. 60 rents by mail or at drug-Biat- a. Hiacox Chemical Works, Patcboguo, N.f . i F af If Gray Keep Hair NaturaK soreness and stiffness generally respond to good old Musterole. Doctors call it a JtSWl Surrei JUly, iem Babcock directed i hA..n me on pay I PAIliS ryU a iiigneia, uer uue lamer Durned before neral and that no one shorn lowed to copy it. r' MUSCULAR-RHEUMA- TIC FJSeSsRfc uj. 793. Miss oonrAra fw conscience wouldn't do any harm. Boston Herald. Named for Purpose Fuller's earth gained Its name Safe, "Miiromvo,,, Unusual Ren,,... One of the strangest remj made In a will is contained uf Miss Rosalie Bicknell BabcJ Tuning in on Heaven haven't any really constructive suggestions for the cure of our national tendencies to leave the narrow path, but sometimes we think that an amplifier for the voice of '"counter-irritan- ?u6 Pepper We them out with a 11 F? Good old Nature ha, pepper a marvelou, theill that get right trouble and almo.tb.iH tho pains and ache Ja Then Here Are Some Organizations Have QverlQQlieai The Society to Prevent Parents Naming Their Offspring "Clarence" The Society for the Prevention of Calling Sleeping Car Portera "George" Owls The Royal Order of S OF RED PEP? Bald-Heade- d Hats). Ever go to the circus? "Sure!" you answer. "Go every year don't care much about It myself, but I have to take the children." But Just because you're a regular attendant, It doesn't mean that you're eligible for membership In the Circus Fans of America not unless at some time in your juvenile career you earned you way into the show by carrying water for the elephant. Karl Kae Knecht, an Indiana newspaper cartoonist, who founded the C. F. A. seme five years ago, Is authority for the statement that many successful men of today are proud of the fact that they once served the thirsty pachyderms and they're enthusiastic members of this club. In a certain New York restaurant there's an unusual booth for diners. Over the entrance of what appears to be a tent are the words "Side Show," and adorning the front are two large, gaudy circus banners. One boldly announces "Nono the Wild Girl She Speaks No Language Another Playmates are Deadly Serpents." heralds "La Belle Rosa Flower of the Orient-Qu- een of the Deserts Favorite of Sultans." Inside the tent are painted banners, posters and photographs of circus performers and freaks. This side show tent is the luncheon meeting place of the "P. T. Barnum Top No. 1 of the Circus Fans of America." Each state and large city has its "Tent" or "Top" named for some famous circus man. The organization Is primarily for fun, yet It has a serious puYpose, say its members that is, to "help the circus toward bigger and better things." Fans and lovers and friends of the circus are banded together to see it perpetuated, and are eager that greater glory may come to the tented shows. If you missed out on the Juvenile Joy just mentioned, perhaps you used to pump a pipe organ. If so, your name can be spread on the roll of the Guild of Former Organ Pumpers, an association composed of those who, by their pledged statements, pumped a pipe organ in a church or chapel at some time in their youth. Its principal aim Is serious "to perpetuate the memories of our decadent but honorable profession and to save for posterity some permanent evidence of the important part the pumper played In the musical and ecclesiastical progress of the ages." It has other aims "to encourage the singing of the old hymns at Sunday night gatherings" and "to prove that every successful man did not earn his first dollar selling newspapers" but Its primary purpose is to achieve a belated recognition. The guild was launched in 192C under the favorable auspices of a natural divinity "Aeolus, the Greek God and Keeper of the Winds" and with the slogan, "Pump, for the Wind Is Fleeting." The first meeting was held In New York city in 1023. Officers, named after the stops on the organ, were elected. And the roster of members now holds the names of some of America's foremost citizens. Will Hays, the czar of the movies, did his pumping on a pipe organ in Sullivan, Ind., his birthplace. He received 10 cents for his efforts, and the dime was paid him at the conclusion of the morning church service. His mother then led him by the hand to his Sunday school class, where he placed the money in the usual collection. James Couzens, United States senator from Michigan, pumped in the Fresbyterlan church at Chatham, Ont. He was paid $5 a year. He pumped conscientiously for two years. At the end of that time he collected the $10 he hnd coming, and this was a part of the original money he invested In stock of the Ford Motor company, which eventually made him one of the nnt ion's richest men. The late Julius Bosenwald, chairman of the board of directors of Sears, Roebuck 4 Co., was also a pumper. He labored In the Presbyterian church at Springfield, 111., and gladly accepted the weekly stipend which was turned over quarterly. But if in your youth you didn't turn an honest penny by pumping an organ, perhaps you did It In a printing office as a helper to the isher of the home town paper. If that was far enough back, yon probably "pulld" a g George Washington hand press, a bit of labor necessary in the old days if the newspaper-readinpublic was to be kept Informed on the affairs of the community. If you did this, then you're eligible for membership in the Ancient and Honorable Order of G. Wash. Pullers, a society founded at the suggestion of Harry C. Webster, an old Missouri "print," which carries on Its membership' rolls the name of a number of men who have risen high In the field of Journalism and who are proud to say that they got their start in newspaper work at the lever of an old G. Wash. Then there's the Cub Reporters' association, composed of men who ns young Journalists sought the adventure which is popularly to be found in newspaper work, found it, printer-publ- back-breakin- g sup-Dos- perhaps, and now in the midst of busy middle age look back fondly upon the time when they toiled under the lash of a "Simon Legree city editor" and dreamed the dream of all cub reportersthat of "scooping the world on a big story." Anyone who has been the victim of horseplay, hazing, kidding and razzing or even torture by hard-boiledemon city editor is the eligible for membership. In the '90s quick hangings, dough prize fighting and "horrible crimes" meant hardships and toil for the cub reporter. " He it around for news, bumping Into all sorts of hard and trying experiences. In the '90s barrooms were popular community centers, and crimes were jobs for reporters to solve Still In the field of Journalism, there are the Fossils old newspaper men who as boys engaged In amateur Journalism and are proud of their boyish effort's. And although such a society has not yet been formed, any newsppaer man will tell you that there's a field for an organization to be known as the Association of Those Who Used to Be Newspaper Men Themselves. Do you sit up late at Are you a radio DX-er- ? night "getting" new stations over your radio, either shore wave or long wave? Then you can be initiated into the Royal Order of Owls with Rubber Ears with the howling, ceremonies which mark such an Initiation. Do you enjoy breaking the Ice in a river, lake or pond and taking a bath there no matter what the weather may be? The Polar Bear club wants to hear from you, if you do. Do you ever subber The Hay Fever frub hay feber? association will be glad to send you a membership application blank. Do you have unlimited faith In the woodchuck as an accurate weather prophet? So do the members of the Slumbering Ground Hog lodge, located at Quarryville, Pa. Organized by George W. Hensel, Jr., who is Hibernating Governor, this lodge has for Its chief aim to extol the virtues of the groundhog, which, they say, "has an intelligence of a higher order than that of any other animal from the tick of the blackberry to the elephant In the Jungle" and they take an oath to "defend him, his family and his reputation, and to guard him as he slumbers." It's not easy to get Into this lodge for you have to be elected by the seven patriarchs after seven years of observation by the Defender of the Faith, the Chief Eye Rubber, the Patriarch de Luxe, the Bondless Treasurer and other officers. But once you are elected, you can Join In the annual ceremony on February 2 around the groundhog's hole. If you believe that there's more than one name for the colored boys who look after your comfort on the pullman cars, then you should Join the Society for the Prevention of Calling Sleeping Car Porters "George." Organized by George W. Dulany, Jr., a Chicago banker, the society now has thousands of members all over the country; George Washington and George Dewey are their patron saints; George Ade Is the poet laureate; George M. Cohan, the official song writer; George William, Cardinal Mundelein, the chaplain; Georges Clemenceau was French charge d'affaires; and George ("Babe") Ruth Is sergeant at arms. All of the foregoing aTe organizations to which almost anyone might possibly belong. But there are also others whose membership is necessarily rather limited to the certain professions. For instance, you'd have to be a sailor In the United States navy in order to belong to the Ancient, Honorable and Mystic Order of Lapa Lapa, although there are many landlubbers who 'are eminently fitted for membership. The only qualification the prospective member must possess Is that he humbly acknowledge that he is a poor fish. But only sailors know how to Initiate candidates properly, for It was two sailors who founded the organization at Shanghai, China in 1927, and sailors are keeping the order going You couldn't belong to the Quiet Birdmen unless you were a World war aviator nor to the Caterpillar club unless you were an aviator who had to make an emergency parachute Jump to ave your life, and you would be barred from membership In the Whosit club unless you were a New York bond salesman engaged In selling municipal bonds. The list of these Interesting organizations could be extended indefinitely were it not for the fact that the author of this article has Just received notice of a meeting of those Interested in forming a Society for the Prevention of Form-inMore Societies and he feels obligated to leave at once to attend the meeting. cuw wiuiuui using uangerotia you can darken gray haa: nar quickly restore its original sha the world's finest, safe way Salt now Keeping minions ot neadsi looking. Benefits the hair aa it' ens it to the shade you want. Al pie as brushing. Try it. Paydri 75c tor a large Dottle ot WY3 SAGE & SULPHUK and just easy directions. old-tim- "hot-footed- Hard-Boile- An Inkling Polly Does your husband stand you, dearie? Molly I think he's beglnnls last week he opened another account for me. Ukl rDorit NedleJ d Heed Promptly Kidney ti Bladder Irregularities If bothered with bladder regularities: nagging backad and a tired, nervous, depress feelinedue to disordered kid action or bladder irritati don't delay. Users everywhd (Ker-choo- g Q by Western Newapapar Union.) VsTrs cm relv on Doan's Pills. Praised I more than SO vears. Rccci mended the country over. n1Sold everywhere. S WE ill aN(f5sA2Mj Attributes of Prid thing pride has, which ucj er vice that I know of has: enemy to itself, and a prooi cannot endure to see pride other. Feltham. One w Reform yourself and It help5 neighbor to reform :ind in i way. HOTEL Winter NRVVIiniTSF. raw 1 PLAN A Par eon Two dsy, m Write for A ervatiOlHf when regk'i 11 k ing special "A hi Expn" Bates. $7.5 1 night room modtlona mesial gurair"! " tickets or c&bnret dines. Good week-enonly. SlO-O- k on FiSJr Two dura, on mouaiion ; nrsraire , dinner. fruit, luncheont 1 theaters. Good any tima. Farther detalli j Hi . 1 I ia. r ? . 1P HOTEL Irn NEWHOUSJ Rait Lsks Cltf. 1;"J5 f ii, 'Hi oil |