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Show tr February 22. 2001 Family Advocacy guides new parents, couples and stress in the home," Sondrup said. 3 Magic gets parents back in control and out of the mode of yelling, persuading and hitting their children in order to make them comply or behave." Sometimes the stress of being a parent or a partner in a relationship can get to be too much and communication between people bonded by love and commitment can become frayed and difficult When arguing replaces talking and indifference replaces listening a couple needs to get things back on track. n Rela"We have a program called t Enhancement Program-thahelps couples get tionship on the same sheet of music, so they are working together instead of against each other. It's real effective in helping people communicate in a way that allows them to understand each other. It" s good for people who are thinking of getting married so they can start off on the right foot and for people who have been married for awhile who want to enhance their communication skills. It's important because these are people who are planning to spend the rest of their lives together," Sondrup said. One of the techniques taught is called "the Floor," in which one person speaks then the other paraphrases what the other said, in this way showing one understands what the other said, then the other person speaks. Each person is allowed to talk, without being interrupted and the other has to show attention and understanding of what has been said. "Sometimes a hot issue will come up and a couple will go in and get counseling for that specific issue and once it's resolved they leave counseling and find themselves in another hot issue and back at square one," Son-- , drup said. "If a couple learns how to handle the hot issues in their relationship that will come up along the way it gives them the tools to handle those issues themselves." Handling hot issues is something individuals are doing more every day, as stress seems to be on the rise. For some managing the anger and frustration felt over situations and events seemingly beyond thiercontrol can be too much. Anger Management has become one of Family Advocacy's biggest classes, according to Sondrup. The free six week course had 25 people enrolled in the last session. While many are ordered by the court to attend, about half go voluntarily. "People are totally stressed out, frustrated and as a result they have this anger. It's good if they come to us before it becomes a problem, then the class is a preven- See Advocacy, page 9 "1-2-- by Gary Boyle Hill Air staff Hilltop Times Force Base Family Advocacy provides individuals with the informational resources necessary to create a strong, happy and healthy family from prenatal care to improving couple communication relations. Creating a happy family isn't a one-ste- p process and d children doesn't having healthy, happen g overnight. Both take sincere effort and throughout the relationship. Before they're seen or heard children begin developcare ing and reacting to their environment, so pre-natis essential for a happy, healthy baby. Family Advocacy classes cover everything from changing diapers to proper nutrition. "We have a lot of classes to help people become aren't so so uptight or scared," said Jenny parents, they New Nurse at Family Advocacy. "BasiParent McFarland, cally it's a confidence builder by letting them know what to expect It gets them informed about how they want to be parents and how they want to raise their children. Only parents have the power to shape their child in the way they want them to go." "Our New Parents Program is more of a preventive program. It helps us identify high need families and then provide services and programs to help stabilize them and do what needs to be done," said Daryl Sondrup Family Advocacy outreach manager. "When a family is really young and the parents may have no experience in the baby basics, we can identify the needs of the parents and the families who're having difficulties in different areas and hook them up in appropriate programs." The first stress on most young families is creating the family and preparing for the compromises and surprises. Baby classes aren't just for moms any more. Dads long forgotten in the conventional world of baby books and parenting magazines, have their own class at Family well-minde- Year Of The Family fine-tunin- PREP-Preventio- www.hill.af.milyofam al able to go home and share in the excitement his wife was feeling and hold a conversation with her about what was going on. He said we used to go to the store and she would get all emotional and mushy over some little outfit and I would just think 'whatever.' Now I can look at these tiny clothes and just imagine how cute they'll look on my little baby.' To give a woman that kind of interest makes all the difference during the pregnancy and how shell come through it by easing her stress and putting her fears to rest," McFarland said. "The class goes over all the basics and the dads do it right there in class on practice plastic babies. It's a men mentoring men class," she said. "One day we hope to have dads come back with their babies and share their experience with a new class. Most importantly we want them to be involved with their wives and kids." Once the child arrives parents are confronted with how al pre-nat- to discipline their little package of energy and that is where one of Family Advocacy's most popular and successful programs comes into play, Dr. Thomas W. Phe-lan- 's Magic video. "We've found Magic to be well received with a lot of positive feedback. Even our boss Capt. Jennifer -3 -3 Seago applied the program to her child. As far as reducing stress in the home and gaining control over the kids it has been a real successful program because its easy to learn and easy to use and is effective if both parents use it," Sondrup said. "A nurse from the base clinic told me how her child was a real hellion. She had tried everything and then went to the class, used the technique and saw immediate results." The course teaches parents to use a counting timeout system instead of yelling or spanking the child. "A lot of times the parent will feel if they yell loud enough the child will obey, but that just creates other problems Advocacy. "Dads 101 is just for dads to help them be better fathers and understand the needs ofbabies. In the past the woman changed the diapers and did the feeding, now the dad gets involved," said Sondrup. "By them becoming involved in all of the stages, they become more bonded to the child and the mother, so the risk of abuse is diminished." "A guy told me that he used to feel left out of what his wife was talking about the pregnancy and the baby, he just couldn't get into it Then he took the class and was WIGS $u W 1mh PONYTAIISFALLS Now open Saturdays and Evenings 7!r Any 12" Sub Only Good With Ad 564 North Main JtefapREVlON' KSffipGliE! Clearfield CoMon ' . 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