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Show THE HELPER TIMES. HELPER. UTAH White Plains. On May 2 be went fishing on Rye beach, and when he did not return home that night, a search disclosed his boat anchored 100 feet from the shore, and evi- MEMORY IS REVIVED BY FALL ON STREET Accident in Chicago Loop Blessing to New Yorker. New York. A man clad In ragged suit and a dirty white sweat er started to cros3 State street In He Chicago one night recently. was Just another bit of human flotsam and nobdy paid very much attention when he leaped from in front of a speeding auto mobile, stumbled and rapped his head on the curb. The fellow got up and rubbed his head In a bewildered manner. Traffic In the loop swirled on, but the man In the disheveled clothes sought a side street he was sud- - , Russian Lady, 107, Says ,We Are Dumb and Stupid Ohio. Mme. Marie Columbus, Charlotte de Golier Davenport, born In Russia 107 years ago and educated In Vienna university and the Sorbonne, claims a number of prerogatives for her years, Including frank criticism of her hosts. She Indulged the right without restraint on a recent visit to Columbus. She denly and unaccountably ashamed of his appearance. Faint flickers of memory began to stir in an awakened mind, writes Tom Pettey in the Chicago Tribune. And that is why Harry O. Hav-erwealthy Westchester county real estate and Insurance man, who had been given np for dead after he dropped from sight on a Ashing trip in Long Island sound eight months ago, was back with bis family in time for a happy Christmas. Mr. Havery was haggard, his cheeks were thin, and he could remember Uttle of his adventures In aphasia. Ha Finds Himself. He had found himself a few hours after having suffered the blow on his bead in Chicago when his erratic raempry told him who be was as his brain began to function normally, ne Immediately began hurried preparations to return The Westchester man who came back from the dead Is thirty-eigof the late years old and a step-so- n Charles Purdy, pioneer land owner in Xew York city's most fashionable suburban district. Mr. Havery had lived for years with his wife and four children near said: "Your people are stupid and unfriendly and Impolite. "Each time I return here I find your people more dumb. "They don't produce anything; they Jog along like so many Jackasses. "I see no progress here; the people want no intelligence. "All of tbe great stimulus that Is the human soul Is gone out of your dence that he bad fallen into tbe waters. All efforts to find any trace of Elm failed. He had been happy at home. His health and business affairs were In The family felt he good condition. had suffered an accident and slow ly gave up hope. HEROES i since $WMOrf too. Rights of Trains Wild Animals "Just for Amusement" Houston. "Just for the fun of It," F. J. Walter, Jr., of Houston, trains Hons, monkeys, elk, timber wolves and other animals in bis backyard. He never has been a professional animal trainer, but all of his life he has kept animals and taught them tricks. Right now he Is spending most of his time teaching a young Nubian lion to do tricks and an elk to pull a wagon. York. A deficit of nearly in the 1030 budget of the Palestine government, was disclosed by I. Is. W. Stead, director of Palestine customs. The deficit Is attributed In part to the financial crisis In America and In part to the emonomic setback suffered as a result of the riots In 1020. Opinion. - -- ,V':;.' . - -- - v v i Yorl TSeiv By walter trumbuil An ancient sailorman, now ashore you know the story of her aunt who in New York, entertained an old lived In a small town and rarely friend. The entertainment consist saw newspapers. metropolitan ed of considerable liquid refresh- Shortly after the marriage, this ments. As tbe guest finally swayed aunt happened on a theatrical sec to his feet to go, he picked up some- tion which carried a picture of Al Jolson In black face. In great per thing off the table. "Wait a minute," said the host, turbation she wrote to her sister, "them's my teeth." Mrs. Jolson's mother, saying, "How "They are my teeth as I put them could you let little Ruby do such a on the table," declared the guest. thing?". "I tell you nobody can walk off with my teeth," said the host, so A young man of Manhattan had a much annoyed that he drew back Job with a big financial Institution, his lips In a snarl. but decided that there were too "You old fool," said the guest, many men in line ahead of him and that they looked too healthy. So "you're wearin your teeth." Doubtfully, the host put his he looked around for another Job thumb in his mouth and bit it and thought he would like to be He never had "My mistake," he said. "So I window dresser. am." dressed any windows, but he talked the owner of an uptown shop into Mrs. Al Jolson, ,wbo was Ruby letting him try it. He did so well Keeler, Is one of the most popular that others hired him and now he of tbe theatrical colony. I suppose is with one of the large stores and New 2,000 1 ft ' V ..Frederick Willard Totter, sculptor, with his clay model for "Hung Up," which will be the trophy given the champion cowboy of 1932. The piece of sculpture shows a cowboy thrown from his horse with his foot caught in the stirrup, tugging at his gun in an attempt to save himself by shooting the horse. Panama Can Handle New York City Official Finds Sea-bur- Couples Generous. New York. The Job of deputy city clerk, which carries with It the duty of marrying couples In the municipal building, was disclosed as one of the city's most profitable Jobs when Counsel Samuel Se.ibury showed the Hofstadter legislativt committee, in a public hearing, that James J. McCormlck has been making $16,000 a year out of It In addition to his salary of $3,500. Almost every couple he marries and he marries about 300 a week-m- ake him a little gift after the ceremony, McCormlck said. They give hlra from $1 to $10, and rarely $20. Those gifts and his salnry enabled him to bank $220,000 between 1025 and October 19 of this year. His own estimate of his "gift" lacked $130,000 of accounting for his total deposits in that period and McCormlck confessed himself unable to explain that sum. Income, palms furnished by the park department, a desk, and a couple of chairs on a platform. "Did you ever ask for money The questions Mr. Seabury asked y the deputy clerk made it clear that when marrying a couple?" Mr. asked. the counsel thought McCormlck bnd been getting "gifts" of $20 much "I never have." oftener than, he did the smaller "Wasn't there a little drawer In sums, and that a larger income from that desk, and wasn't It your practhat source would account for the tice to keep that drawer open and McCormlck denied this, have a $20 bill in plain $150,000. sight Vhowever. "No, sir J" The examination of Deputy Clerk McCormlck's bank accounts revealed Machines Found Wanting for the first time what a profitable office the "marrying clerk" has. After Miners Lose Work McCormlck said he has been In Sliamokln, Pa. For eight months the city employ ten and a half years a dispute over mechanical loaders and has been Tammany leader In tied up operations at the Sterling the- Twenty-seconAssembly dis- mine here. trict for thirty-eigh- t years. the miners and the ownHis municipal Job has only two ersRecently reached an agreement on the duties signing bonds and performwage scale to be paid In sections of ing marriages. the mine where he The "marriage chapel" in the used. The mine was loaders were reopened. municipal building is a room about Later It was learned that the en100 by 15 feet, fitted up with two tire trouble was only "much ado about nothing" as the mechanical mining methods were found ImpracTown Gets Wrong Pole tical, except In several small secPainted at Half Price tions of the mine. The workers lost wages amountValley Stream, L. I. The son of Everett S. Strnnce, the village ing to about $1,000,000 through steeple-jac- k and flagpole painter, Idleness. took nn order from the village board for bis father to paint the flagpole in front of District School No. 1. Instead for No. 1 he wrote ; Scientists State down No. 4, which is the ClearBelief in Creator water school. The price was to be ; A questionnaire London. ;; $30. on science and religion has So the eider Strange painted the been sent to Fellows of the wrong flagpole and rendered the bill for the contracted fee. The J Hoyal society, and some parH ticulars of the replies were Informed hlui of board his village given at the annual meeting mistake and assured him t!ta error was on him. He placed himself on J of the Christian Evidence so- the mercy of the trustees and they ;.; defy. The questions were: said that since they were going to J Do you credit the existence ;: have the pole of School No. 4 painted anyhow they would pay him $15 ;; of a spiritual sphere? A hundred and twenty re- for his services. ;; plied yes; only thirteen said however, LEGION COMMANDER i ! d J San Francisco Sends ;; Invitation to Wales J no. Do you consider that man Is In some measure responsi- San Francisco. A huge invlta- - ;; ble for his acts of choice? Affirmative came replies tion, engraved on parchment and from 173; negative replies beautifully printed, has been sent the prince of Wales to attend the ; from seven. Is it your opinion that be-Shrine convention In Sun Francisco : lief in evolution Is compatible next July. Joseph Martin, Los An- with belief in n creator? gel es Shriner, who is visiting Eng- A hundred and forty-twland to arrange a part of that coun- - ;; said yes; five replied no. try's participation in the Olympic ;: games, will present the document. j Mrs. II. W. Urink Is commander , of the American Legion post of III., and is the llrsf woman to hold such a position. She served In tlie World war as an army nurse In France. J j o Traf- for Several Decades. Washington. Surveys conducted by the WTar department may postpone construction of a second canal connecting the Atlantic for several decades if not until the end of the century. Scientific inquiries have disclosed, according to reports submitted to Washington, that the growth of traffic will not necessitate any addition canal to the present inter-oceani- c facilities until 1050 at the earliest The consensus expressed in official conclusions was that when added lockage facilities are needed, a third series of locks should be added to the Panama canal before work is 'begun on a second canal. No Need for Many Years. Tbe findings reached by the canal board headed by Col. Ernest Graves of the United States army and the engineers for the Panama canal Indicate that the present capacity of the Panama canal will suffice until 1970 and that with additional locks the canal would not reach capacity for possibly 100 years. To build this third set of hia bank that, at part in theatrical performances held In a barn In Saginaw, Mich. That's nothing. At the age of six I performed in a circus held in a barnyard in Old Mission, Mich. The cows and chickens also performed, but rather unwillingly. Victor Kilian, who was one. of the cast of "Desire Under the Elms," and who more recently played in "Cloudy with Showers," has a peculiar hobby. He likes to build chimneys, in fact, he likes to do any sort of mason's work. He ran out of places to build chimneys on his own farm, so built some for When city people his neighbors. stop their cars and ask for directions, Mr. Kilian puts on a rube act that would be worth money in the - There is a branch of the public library, on East street, which makes a specialty of theatrical literature. It has a special room well as all Central American gov- devoted to books on theatrical matters. Among the least frequent ernments." The tendency of commercial ships visitors seem to be actors. I never to increase In size may hasten the saw one in there. day when a Nicaraguan canal should be constructed. The public library on Fifth aveWhile recommending against con- nue Is a great refuge In cold weathstruction of the Nicaraguan route er for those unfortunates who have during present conditions of world no place else to get warm. They trade and world finances, the go In, ask for a book and sit at a board pronounced the build- table in the reading room until the ing of such a waterway feasible place closes at 10 p. m. They are from both an engineering and a con- not obliged to read. As long as struction standpoint. they stay awake, nobody disturbs thera until closing hour. Some of them try to stow away In the liLEATHER JACKETS brary for the night, but an InspecBy C1IEIIIE NICHOLAS tion is made and they always are discovered. Few persons appear to know that the library has a restaurant for Its employees and other conveniences, which make it almost a little village In itself. WNU Servtc. 193J, BjII Syndicate.) Fifty-eight- h inter-ocean- f'4. i p (. Rattlesnakes Help to "Keep Wolf From Door" t hrt v f - locks would cost $140,000,000, while construction of the proposed canal through Nicaragua would cost more than $700,000,000. The traffic through the acnal today runs around 20,000,000 tons anThe present tonnage canually. pacity of the canal is set at 70,000,-00With a third set of locks the On capacity would be 140,000,000. the basis of Panama canal estimates that tonnace will not increase faster than l,ri0,000 tons a year, It Is estimated that 100 years would elapse before the canal would reach c board capacity. The said the proposed NIcaniguan canal would increase the traffic capacity through Central America by S0,000,- 000 tons. Notwithstanding the array of traffic statistics lined up by the board find the canal engineers, the possibility exists that other factors rather than cargo ca pacity may dictate nn earlier date on a new NIcaragtmn canal than now seems probable. These Include the advantages a second canal would give to national defense and the greater assurance two canals would give of uninterrupted waterway passage of t'onimereial ships between oceans. It is also asserted that construction of the canal in Nicaragua would "lend to stabilize the government of Nicaragua as several times Norman Bel Geddes says tbe age of nine, he took NEEDED FOR YEARS fic MARRYING CLERK HAS GOOD JOB drawing salary. theater. SECOND CANAL NOT i. f Sta-- , One of them was Capt. phen Rector. In 1814 Captains Rector and Riggs with 66 Illinois Rangers were ordered to accompany Lieutenant Campbell with a force of 42 regulars In three keel boats up the Mississippi to reinforce the garrison at Prairie du Chien In Wisconsin. Go- lng through the dangerous rapids W near Rock Island, Campbell's barga was driven ashore on the small island which now bears his name. Here he prepared to spend the' night, but no sooner had be pitched his tent than he was attacked by a war party of Sac Indians. ; Rector and Riggs, hearing the firing, tried to return to his aid, but in the storm-tosseriver Riggs' boat became unmanageable and was stranded in the rapids. Rector managed to bring his boat near enough' to Campbell's men, hiding in the trees which fringed the edge of the' island, to fire upon the savages at long range. Suddenly Rector was horrified to see Campbell's barged burst Into flames. Caught between the blazing boat and Black Hawk's whooping braves, the regulars faced annihilation. Rector made bis decision instantly. Ordering the anchor to be raised and the barge to be lightened by casting overboard nearly all of his provisions, he guided his boat down the raging stream into the teeth of the Indian fire. Forcing It to the windward of the burning boat, his boatmen leaped Into the water and held their craft close to Campbell's barge. Indian bullets were crashing Into the timbers of both boats, but Rector coolly went about the work of directing the rescue of d ((rK But of the American people In general, Mme. Davenport said: "You are darlings and I love you all." Xr J t "I speak freely; I have seen so ' the heroes NOTofall1812 made tbj for' fame on the battlefields' Of the East or In the naval fighting which forms such a brilliant page in tbe history of that conflict. Out In what was then "the West" there were heroes, Faile, received a telegram signed with the missing man's name. A telephone call to Chicago followed and $100 was telegraphed for Havery's expenses home. "I do not know where I have been nor what I have been doing all these months I have been away," said Mr. Havery at his home. "Things were mostly blank after I fell out of my boat while trying to pull up the anchor. I struck my head then. I have a vague remembrance of having worked on a farm near Chicago. "I recall the fall I suffered while walking along the street In Chicago.! That brought back some of myj 1 began to search my memory. pockets and discovered the suit was wearing had been bought In New York. That helped me to recall my Identity. When I finally could remember I was appalled at my appearance." much." BY Elmo Scott Watson Hero of CampbelfSf!""! people. y:M . M$ Qwr Wires Brother-In-LaMr. Havery's brother-in-law- , As sistant Corporation Counsel Samuel Trophy for the Champion Cowboy Deficit in 1930 Budget of Palestine Government FORGOTTEN rock-studde- d y, home. Our Pet Peeie 0. inter-oceani- j: I. f : t '''I) : The little miss who knows a thing or two about what's what in sports and school fashions will tell you that "all the girls are wearing" bright colored leather Jackets, green, red or brown being favorite colors. "Comfy" as they can be, too, for they are fleece lined. It Is well to own both a very gay plaid skirt and a corduroy one, so as to change about now and then Just for variety's sake. The corduroy skiit when cut on siiglitiy circular lines is ideal for skating. Denver. Ingenuity is valuable at all times, but during a depression it may keep one from starving, or euphemistically, "keep the wolf from the door." Theodore Tausch, who was unemployed, started catching rattlesnakes and selling them to zoos. By so doing, he declared, he was able to support his family and keep his children in school. Here's how he does It: "First, I approach a snake in a friendly manner. When It sees me, I stand still a few minutes to let the reptile get acquainted. Most people approach a snake antagonistically and the snake feels it has to fight for its life. "In about twenty seconds, the snake learns I do not mean to kill it I then can reach down and pick it up." Goat Goes on Rampage, Eats Feather Pillow Neosho, Mo. The city marshal here fears he may have exceeded his authority in arresting a white billy goat and as a matter of fact has no proper "hold order" for keeping billy locked up. But the marshal Is not one to The quibble In nn emergency. goat leaped through the window of the W. I. Peel; home, planted himself In the miiblle of the bedroom lloor and began eating a feather pillow, while Mrs. Peck became hysterical and sought safety on top of the dresser. men. Campbell's Finaly the last wounded man had been transferred. Then Rector cast off and running a gauntlet of renewed Indian fire, his boat swept down the river with Its precious cargo of wounded men safely out of the range of the enemy guns. Ha Saved Pennsylvania rS the fate summer the A hot of night in colony r - c- sylvania and perhaps ot' 1 English colonies rested hands of the commander of I body of English troops camped a barren hill about 20 miles front, the present site of Pittsburgh, Pa. ne was Col. Henry Bouquet, a Swiss soldier of fortune who was leading a little army of less than 500 men, composed of detachments of the Sixtieth regiment of Royal Americans, the Seventy-seventregiment, Montgomery Highlanders, the regiment of Royal Highlanders (the famous "Black Watch") and a few rangers, from Fort Llgonler to raise the siege of Port Pitt Pontine, the great Ottawa chieftain, had united the tribes to wipe out the hf.ted English. Every mili" tary post In western Pennsylvania,. and had been Ligonier, except Pitt captured. If Pitt fell. Llgonler fell and a storm of savage wrath would break over the towns of Pennsyl- vanla. About noon on August 5 Bon- quet's advance guard was attacked. The "Black Watch" soon scattered them, but almost immediately the savages came swarming back and within a short time the soldiers were surrounded and fighting for their lives behind a hastily con- structed defense on top of Edge hill. All afternoon they beat off the at- tack. That night their case seemed x- hopeless. When the morning came the Indians renewed their attacks. Bouquet saw that It was only a matter of time until the plunging fire of the enemy cut down his force until the few that were left could not withstand the charge that was sure to come. Deciding to wager everything on one stroke, he planned a daring maneuver. After explaining to his men exactly what they were to do, so that there would be no mistake and no panic when It got. under way, he suddenly withdraw the two companies of Highlanders, from the line, hnd them retreat across the hill, and enter a smpU ravine. Seeing this, the Indians lieved that the general retrejwas about to begin and camebut Into the open. Tills was Just what Bouquet want- ed. As the mass of savages struc! the weakened line, '.the "Rim'X3r Watch" came charging ont of theV ravine on the flank of the enemy. Too late the Indians realized they had been trapped. For Bouquet again broke his line, threw two companies of light Infantry out of the circle on the other flank niiJ'rVw savages were caught between fires. Within a few minutes English were in full possession of the field. Bouquet then pushed on to Fort i'ilt nml n death blow had been struck to the conspiracy of h Forty-secon- d 4 Pont lac. (.0. 1S31. Wctern Newsuauur Union. , I , ' ' I |