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Show Winter . OUR COMIC SECTION chills bring varied ills D~I________E_~_n_~__m__~_e_L_i_~_s_o_f_L_i_tt_k_~ __e_n_______ HURR'{ 'll~::::--~ R\..l~ --=--<'LJ'' NOW IT CAN BE TOLD I FA'> T R\JN JUST. fETE 'N f=---1::1;.~ AS FAST AS,~.~ GtT HOME -the time good ; elimination is most important C OLDS, chills and -causes drowsy head· changes in tempera• aches, dizziness and often ture impose extra strain ·a toxic backache. Dis· on our kidneys. Sluggish~ turbed function is often ness of function is apt to evidenced by scanty or permit some retention of burning secretions. At body-poisons in the blood such times a stimulant and make one more diuretic to the kidneys is susceptible to the ills of indicated. Doan's Pills winter. Presence of this have been winning friends unfiltered waste makes for more than forty years. one listless, tired and achy As!~ your neighbor/ "Ob, daddy," said the young lady; "Mrs. Jones said you werl'! the band· somest man on our street." . "What's that?" asked the father. There was a brief silence, th~n the daughter shook her head and tald. "Well, I guess It's true; all right." "\Vhat's true?" asked the father. "That .every time you compliment a man he makes :ron re1)eat lt.''Christlan Science Monitor. )'oU CAl'\ ---=- TROUBLESOME VOWELS Do an's Pills Stimulant Diuretic to the Kidneys 60c all dealer$. Foster-Milburn Co., MJg. Chemists, Buffalo, N. Y. ~ Balked at Spelling of New Husband's Name Rl>~BER \C E. An emplo;l'ee of the gas company tells me of a foreign bride who approached her the other day to have the gas In the new loYe nest turned ou. "I just got married-plea~;:e tun1 on the gas," was the wu~· she put it. "You want it in your husband's name?" the young woman behind tlw counte1· asked. The bride nodderl ''Then write his name on this line." The bride looked clumhly at her. "Well, what is his name?" asl;:ed the other. "Mike," the britle returned. "Mike Blankovltch-" an unspellable name- "Can't be speak plainly? I heard hlm say certain vowels gave him trouble.'' "Ob, hE: was referring to bls I. 0. O's." Our Sham World , MICKIE, THE PRINTER'S DEVIL· AIJD WEI.\..~ TH~ PAPERS OUT AIJD A lJ\eE SUPPER WAI-n> AT HOME 1 GUT I'M 'Tl~EO EI-!OUG+t 1tJ RE5'f A FeVJ MIIJUTCS-:. \ BEl" ·<;W. MY a~o Ffl.IEIJO,. .liM SI~M,OUI IJJ L-OS ~ES' Pl.AYIIJ~ GoLF AIIJ,- AS "T\~E.'O A'S 1 AWl. "tt>JJ lGt-\1"1 -rHE LJ..lGIC'f Sl'IFF The Lure of Printer's Ink Af.JD AlJOTl-\E~ I<ID I \<Jm-1, HARRY BERMOJJD, L.IVES IIJ AJJ E'J(.PEWSIVE APARIMEIJ"'" OJ.J PARK AVE.1-1Ue 1 1JEW 'I'OR-k."' 'SM"S AROU}.I.D ALL DAY DOI).JGi: J.JO"''\-tii.J9" 1 AIJP ""'04Ef.J 1-\Ao:> A VALET' 1tl Po"( SurroJ...tS I 1-J HIS SHIR-T=- Pr<:ETTY SOFT t uAII that gUtters is not gold," But here's the truth, though bitter; Lots of people that we know Are satisfied with glitter. -The American Boy Magazine. "say, how uo you spell that name, missus?" The puz:detl ~·oung woman behind the counter smiled. "I'm sm·e I don't lmow," she said. "I sl1ould think you'd know, if you married him." ··well," saitl the blushing bri(le, at length, "I go home and ask him hr.w to ~pel! that name, then I come bac!~." -Cleveland Plain Dealer. A Good Instrument Custonwr-I would like to get a barometer, one that works perfectly. Clerk-Here's one that we guarantee, sir. It is so sensitive that it will indicate when youl' wife Is going to have a crying spell. ' An Accident "My wife had a motor accident yesrenlay." "L'm sorry. Was tbet·e much dam· age doneT "A fair amount. A smashed-up back and several screws loose." "Your poor wife ! " "011, you were referring to ller? She only got a broken leg."-Karl· katuren, Oslo. Short and Sweet . ALa:AI-IPER. DOFLteKER.. BE~ME A 81~ MO\IIE ~J.JA.-re. AIJO IS ~OURII-1~ "1\-\E WORU> IJ.J ~IS YA€H'f ~ ~1-\EJ..I HE WA~TS TO GO AS'HOIU:, ~e 6'ET.S" II-ITO \-\IS €AR.~ ~E &AIJ<St PIA~!'. IS DR.OPP£D AIJD !HE eAR. Gi.IDES SMOOJHL"f DOWJ.J AJ..ID AWl••·'/: '"'01' DO~~ GUY I DOJ.Ji EI-IVY I\4E'M -=-1 ~PE~ IF I 1•..11-IERIT'EO A KI~N\ .AI-ID WAS R-\011..1~ PASt A PR-IIJ't" SHOP IJ..I -rne: ROYAL EQUII'A~E AIJD A WHIFF OF "'T1-4E" ODOR. O,F! PRI1..1\E'RS UJK MEl' M"' 1-JOSTR.U.S, il-tE'ID H~'IE. -ro ~ErA I...IE\1..1 I<JI.J'f BeCAUSE I'D BE A.w.O.L, AJ..tl) ~eb 6Er A .IJE\1.1 PRIIJTER lt...l "'tHAT ~HOP~'iEP! Simpson was on his cteall1bed and the doctor had been detailed to tell him there was no hope . "I hope you broke the news to him gently," sobbed the tearful wife. "Oli, yes," replied the physkian briskly. "I told him If he bad any bills to pay he'd better not wait till the first of the month."-Amerlcan Legion Monthly. SAY "BAYER ASPIRIN" and INSIST 1 Proved safe by millions and prescribed by physicians for Colds Pain The Flirt on the Phone "Hello! Pe.Jigy speaking-who Is this 7" "It's Frank, sweetheart." "I can't undersbln<l you." "Listen-F for Ferdie, R for Ro!Jert, A for Arthur, N for Nat and K for Kenneth." "But <learest, which one of the five are you?" Headache Neuralgia Neuritis Toothache I·DOES NOT AFFECT THE HEART I NOT PRESERVED Asolrin is the uade mark of Buer Manufacture of Monoacetlcacldester of Sal!cy:!cacld • Photographing Martians Gas Waste High in Texas is possible that the question whether Mars has an atmosphere akin to our own and 'Yhether the l)lanet is inhabited may he settled by color pbotographJ'. According to a number of the Yerkes observatory staff, pictures talcen by the use of coloretl light rays, notably the long "infra-reds, penetrate the atmosphere surrounding the planet and perhaps n much better pictnre than when ordinary light is used." Investigution has :::;hown that more than 200,000,000 cubic feet of ~;as escapes daily from oil wells in the Panhandle area of Texas. It ' ' ~THE ~:~rn Newspaper FEATHERHEADS THII'J.< Of: ~AT; waRE. INWED To ii-IE BELL" rwx! aortoMS ~Ql'Y rANCV DR~S £ WHY SHOULD I WANi' To TriiNI< 0" TI-IAI I Nothing Unique About That WE MUS"r WoRK oul"' S~ Cl.EVER ' AND UNIQIJI! C'O~TuME i IDEAS tOt< 0UR.5EL.VE.s- ; "And the poor thing was caught ln tht frightful jam." "What hat»pened to her?" "Mashed to a jelly.'• Fast Is the way to stand, Yet, too, I know, It Is the way I ought Denver Woman Suffering From Dizzy Spells, Stomach Trouble and Nervousness after Many Disappointments Recovers Health. Thanks Tanlac. Not be-or go. Sign of Age Why Not? AND WHERE WOULD THERE BE ANY DISG'UISE ToT~TU Revenue Collector-So you object to paying Inheritance tax? Jones-Sure, I do. The lawyers got the Inheritance--let them pay the tax l A Great Lesson Here "Now, honey boy, get busy and make a million dollars." ''Can't you love me unless I have a mlllion dollars?" "A little less might do, but the modern girl does not love in a small wa3'.'' Between Girls "1 coultl never hke that mun." "Ther why am you engaged to 1•!it1 T' "I neYer t,.Pn1PC; ·~ ~arry my dislikes to ex· A harmless vegetable butter color used by millions for 50 year~. Drug stores and general stores sell bottles of "Dandelion'' for 35 cents.-Adv. -Felt Like She Would Never be Well Again Word With Many Meaning• Doctor-Your father seenrs hale and hearty at the age of one hundred and tour. Mountaineer-Yep, but pap's slippin', T'other day I heard him say he reck: oned he'd take up the game of golf. "DANDELIOtJ BUTTER COLOR" The sun's temperati1re has run to It isn't the old song that makes you about 16,200 degrees, but its present weep. It Is where the memories it surface temperature is estimated at arouses takes you to. ·only about 10,800 degrees. TRY ·AN' GS'r S'CMa.\ IDEl\S iHAT 1 \VON i' HAVE Th WORI< CXJT MORE T!-IAIJ AIWEk' To PAY F"'OR J Lumbago Rheumatism: J The remarkable experience of Mrs. Stanley Evans, a charming young matron living at 54 S. Pennsylvania St., Denver, is. the same as thousands ot others who after years of suffering have found relief and new strength in Tanlac. When Mrs. Evans was in her twenties, she was on the verge of becoming an Invalid--old before 80, her body wracked with pain. unable to eat without suffering from indigestion and gastritis. and dizzy s•pells that made ·it dangerous for her to go out. "My life was a grim tragedy.'• says Mrs. Evans. "Long days of anguish and tormenting pain followed sleepless nights. I ate very little and was weak and run-down. "I looked so bad that I was ashamed to go out. What had happened to the •healthy, happy girl I had been? Then a friend told me about Tanlac. What a wonderful friend she was to me! l<"or Taulac saved me. "Pain vanished. I began to sleep well and get u·p in the morning refreshed. I took on weight and st~ength. Now, thoss dark days are a dim memory. Again I feel young. Gloriouil health has brought me happiness. I will always take Tanlac." Benefit by l\Irs. Evans' eXJ;>& r1ence. Let this manelous tonio made from roots, barks and herba according to the famous Tanlac formula, give you robust health. Results after taking the first bottle wil! al!laze you. Ask you:r druggist for Tanlac-today! |