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Show Hilltop Times .March 25, 1988 iced coEDTiuiniicea'D'Doris hosts Class to helD solve nrnhlpm Most people know that maintaining good communication is important in a marriage, but that knowledge alone doesn't make that needed communication happen. This lack of communication and many other factors can lead to problems in marriages, according to Dave Larsen, program officer at the Hill AFB Family Support Center. "Many couples who got along great before marriage are deeply frustrated to find positive communication grinding to a halt or. even deteriorating after marriage as they discuss issues which are important to their relationship," he said. Mr. Larsen said, "Many people ask, 'Why is this happening? I thought true love was supposed to prevent these problems.' " Actually, the seeds of discord in marriage, said Mr. Larsen, and the root causes of many breakdowns in communications are deeply planted before couples ever meet. "They usually stem ' b Pastor Myke Crowder ! 544-320- WASHINGTON HEIGHTS BAPTIST CHURCH 147 East 4800 South, Ogden Telephone; 479-703- 0 & Fellowship.. s,,, 9:15 I 7 j : .....9:30 A.M. SUNDAY SCHOOL SUNDAY WORSHIP EVENING WORSHIP WEDNESDAY FAMILY NIGHT Coffee a.m. School & 11:00 a.m. a.m. Sunday .$A5 & Service 11:00 a.m. a.m. Worship (Broadcast on KANNtOW K.C.) 6:00 p.m. ..... Evening Service Dinner ....5:30 p.m. Wednesday Night Famfiy Night Clubs & Adult Classes .........6:30 p.m. Our Only Hope Preaching Christ ,,9:45 10:30 A.M. . ........6:30 P.M. 7:00 P.M. 'i Where everybody is somebody and Jesus Christ is Lord irTicarirDeig ception when one or both partners feel that their world is the only world and their way the only way to see' or deal with events or ' ; rather submissive, he will probably assume that's the way things should be at home," said Mr. Larsen. "However," he said, "if this kind of a man then marries a woman more verbal than he is (as is usually the case), who feels women should have at least equal say in family matters, they may be in for some real excitement as important issues become frustrating problems for their relationship. "You see," said Mr. Larsen, "the root of most marital difficulties lies in the fact that most couples were raised in two different worlds, and so their frames of reference when problems arise are quite different. This means their values, goals, attitudes, even the way they go about sharing their ideas and feelings, are usually very different especially when opposites attract." However, this situation is not necessarily bad, and in fact, according to Mr. Larsen, can be very enriching to a relationship. "There is an ex-- First Assembly of God 176 W. Golden Ave, Laytoit obsicacle io good from subtle, but powerful, notions picked up as we grow up in our families of origin, he said. "If, for example, a man comes from a home in which his father's word was law, and mom was ramiiy bupport Center staff . Qijor He said it's not easy overcoming these obstacles especially those people have grown accustomed to since childhood. So, how do people overcome these problems? "Simply being aware that we in fact see the world from different points of view like three blind men trying to describe an elephant helps. "If people can cultivate an attitude of trying to understand other's views before making them understand their own, then they are moving towards effective communications," he said. Further information, insight and practice into effective marital communications is available at Hill, at a class hosted by members of the Family Support Center. A couple's communications class is held at the center, Bldg. 308, starting at 7 tonight. A list of related books and tapes on couple's communications is also available at the center. 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