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Show JUAB COUNTY TIMES. NEPHI. UTAH 5)H) mm. PASSED THE PLATE. It was a street car donductor's duties In the 'church of which he was a mem- THE DAYS' NEW YEAR PARTY My bdjs Hlg Coming of Ags Marked by a Dinner to Which All of the Fes- RING OUT, WILD BELLS! tivals Are Invited. fMl:- The Old Tear being dead, and the New Year coming of age, which he does by calendar law as soon as the breath Is out of the old gentleman's body, nothing would serve the young - W . -- - ""' " ' , "e, i 4 n i spark, but he must give a dinner upon the occasion, to which all the Days In the year were Invited. The FestiIt vals, whom be deputed as bis stews e ards, were mightily taken with the S H i i notion. They had been engaged time out of mind, they said. In providing good cheer for mortals below, and it .. ft, , was time they .should have a taste of tholr own bounty. It was stiffly debated among them whether the Fasts should be admitted. Some said the appearance of such lean, starved guests, with their mortified faces, would pervert the ends of the meeting. Hut the objection was overruled by Christmas Day, who bad 1 i i v ? . tMMtmt .tf.i.iSiieswiii mtJ. a a design upon Abu Wednesday (as t?, you er-ilhear), and a mighty desire to see how the old Dominie would Mmself In bis cups. Only tho Vigils were requested to come with their lanterns to light the gentlefolk homo at night. All the days came. Covers were providjd for 365 guests at the principal table, with an occasional knife and fork at the sideboard for the Twenty-nintof February. Cards of invitation had been Issued. --C e- , The carriers were the Hours, twelve ii ;f little merry, whirling foot pages that M went all round and found out the K t jj n ii mjpi x j persons Invited, with the exception of Easter Day, Shrove Tuesday, and a few other movables, who bad lately shifted their quarters. "Well, they all met at last, foul A : ; v. ' .a-- f P: Days, fine Days, all sorts of Days, and ?i 4f I ' ' j 4 V t 4J is f a rare din they made of it There was nothing but "Hall, fellow Day! well met!" only Lady Day seemed a wild sKy, Ring out, wild bells, to bit scornful. Yet some said Twelfth came cut her out, for she all flying lights Day royal and glittering and Eplphenous. is in i The rest came in green, some In wild him die. bells, Ring white but old Lent and his family were not yet out of mourning. Rainy old, Ring y Days came In dripping, and the snowi bells, Ring, laughing, Wedding Day lays was there In marriage finery. Pay going, goi Day came late, and Doomsday aent false, Ring word be might be expected. April Fool took upon himself to marmind. Ring shal the guests, and May Day, with that sweetness peculiar to her, proof poor. Ring posed the health of tha host This being done, thj lordly New Year from all Ring the upper end of the table returned thanks. Ash Wednesday, being now Ring called upon for a song, struck up a strife t ' carol which Christmas Day bad of life. Ring blm. Lord Shrovetide, Mayor's taught With Day and April Fool next joined In a laws. In which all the Days, chiming glee. In, made a merry burden. sin. Ring All this while Valentine's Day kept times i courting pretty May, who sat next out, Ring billet-doux unhim, slipping amorous But in. der the table till tha Dog Days began to be jealous and to bark and rage blood. Ring exceedingly. At last tha Days called for their i spite cloaks and greatcoats and took their Ring right. leaves. Short Day went off In a deep love black fpg that wrapped the little genRing good. tleman all round."' The Vigils so old foul ( Ring watchmen are called In Heaven saw Christmas Day safe borne; they bad Ring been used to tbe business before. Anof old. Ring other Vigil a stout sturdy patrol, Ring called the Eve of St Christopher-see-ing Ash Wednesday In condition free. Ring little better than be should be e'en k Kindlier whipped blm over, his shoulders fashion, and be went Boating land. borne singing: ia Ring In "On the Hat's flack Do I Fly." and a number of old snatches besides. Longest Day set off westward In beautiful crimson and gold; the rest soma NEW YEAR'S DAY IN ENGLAND. In one fashion, some In another; but Valentine and pretty May took their New Tear's day Is kept very curideparture together In one of tbe prettiest silvery twilights a Lover's Day ously In soma of tbe old couotrss. In England tbe ringing of bells Is about could wish to set In. V tbe only formal demonstration they fVLchTwit fiE show for tha anniversary at tba presGOOD AS NEW. ent time, though years ago It was as much of a gala day as Christmas. They used to give presents and have great feasts, and there was a good ( deal of revelry and drunkenness, more than there ought to have been in a civilised community. On tha whole tha new Is quite as good as tha old way, to my thinking. In Denmark the cannon booms, as a sound of joy to welcome In tha new year. Every morning of the first of January, Copenhagen Is sbasen by this peaceful cannonading. The people In tba rural districts go to tbe farmhouses and Ore their muskets under tbe windows of "THERE!" the sleeping Inmates, to Inform them that a new year Is at band. The cusThe Past and the Future. tom Is not a very nice one; It smacks Carry Into the new year only the too much of old time roughnesa and choicest thoughts and inspirations. As rudeness. in the olden dsys when men approach ed the Psrthenon they cleansed their New Year Resolutions. persons and arrayed themselves In 1 will to behind. hite robes before entering that glotry I will Iry to? find he good la others. rious temple, s clesnse your gar"My good man, 1 hope you've made tome good resolutions," I will carry sunshine with me, espements from trsnrrresslon. clothe your "No, ma'am, hot dis year. You see cially loo the? dark places. self with aspirations. Farewell t tha 1're got a hunch tf 'em I made lat I will try tf make someone happy past! Welcome and all halt to tba year sa' never used. each dav. Woman's Home Compsnioa. future! Newell Dwlght HUiia. Mi .. ber to take up the collections one day; and, as it happened, his first experience of such duties. He was a little nervous aa he started down the center aisle, but that soon wore off, and he began to feel almost at home. There were sevral children In the first pew. Each put in a penny. The people in the next pew also contributed something each. A big. glum fellow sat alone in the third pew. The new collector passed him the plate, but the man shook his head and stuck his hands deep into his pockets. Thereupon our friend the "conductor stopped, put up his hand aa If to jerk the bell cord, and sald: "Well, you'll have to get off." National Monthly. A OPINION. NON-EXPER- 1 . be-ha- For like a bloom perennial And rosy tinted wake the dreams Of all the morrows yet to come. When life la really what It seems; When tardiness and broken vowa. And duties shirked for Pleasure's court, And Mother Grundy's sad And fickle Fashion's mad report Are strangers to my righteous heart-T- ear up the old and frame the new, For I would make another at art. Maude Ie Verse Newton. pow-wow- s. Some New Year Don'ts Don't sprinkle gait on the tail of temptat- ion. Don't try to get the better of a man who hasn't any. Don't gnore in church. It's mean to keep others awake. Don't be satisfied to pay as you go. Save enough to get beck. Don't get married with the sol Idea that misery lores company. Don't follow the beaten track unless you are satisfied to remain beaten. Don't accept advice from a man who never offers you anything else. Don't expect Opportunity to come to you with a letter of introduction. Don't trust to luck. of the people in the world guess wrong. Don't buy your friends. They never last as long as those you make yourself. Don't envy the rise of others. Many a man who gets to thi top is mere froth. Don't greet Misfortune with a smile unlets you are prepared for a Nine-tent- hs one-sid- ed & nation. Don't make good resolutions unless you constantly carry a repair kit with you. Don't place too much confidence in appearances. Many a man with a red nose Is white all the way through. Don't forget In times of peace to prepare for war. That's about the only use some of us seem to have for peace. Don't fail to have an object in view. Many a man leads such an aimless existence that he could fire at random without hitting it Lippincott'g. DIDN'T OBSERVE NEW YEAR'S Puritans Regarded the Celebration as a Heathenish and Rite. The sole record of tha observance of the New Tear by tha PUcrtma la the new world, named New England, was most prosaic, most brief: "We went to work betimes." Many of the good Puritan ministers thought the celebration or even notice of tba day In any way savored of Improper and reverence for the heathen god, Jsdus. Tet these English settlers came from a land whera New Teat's eve and New Year s day were emid In Importance and domestic Christmas. to observance only Throughout every English county New Year's eve was always celebrated; In many It was called by the pretty nam of Planing E'en, from the custom which obtained of singing the last of the Christmas carols at that time. This New Day. O'jt of the. tomb of nleht a day bam risen. He not anxious; this day is all your own. Do not hurry, for In time It Is like all other days; neither delay, for now Is passing. Early turn your fare to the dawn and tet Its fresh beams bathe away all stains of night; then, should the nntm be dark with storms, your smile will Etill wear the roue liiits of the mrtrolng. P'ep softly among; humm hearts, end leave so tnuch of kiiiflness aiortg life's pathway that t Isdnesa shall spring p, bearing In the coot a entid ti!hn f the vor'!'s r'id Ksw Dsv. CrgfU . r; ,;- i jptg'm !(" H" Sun-shinn- i pick-a-bac- Ul TT' J(.;.I.lr!:?l jr' l' " t:r. n1r'wVJiiIfiiic:Tv-'if iirsi- the The the cloud, frosty The year the night dying and let out, out the ring in the new, across the happy The year is let htm out the ring in the true. out the grief that saps the For those that here we see no morei out the feud rich and in redress to manhlnd. out a slowly dying cause. And ancient forms of party in the nobler modes sweeter manners, purer out the want, the care, the The faithless coldness of the ring out my mournful rhymes. ring the fuller minstrel out the false pride in place and The civic slander and the in the love of truth and in the common of out disease shapes of out the narrowing lust of goldi out the thousand wars in the thousand years of peace. in the valiant man and The larger heart, the handi Ring out the darhness of the the Christ that to be. . Any Old Grounds, Nowadays. you can show sufficient cause, madam, I am sure you will be able to obtain tho divorce you seek. Upon what grounds will you sue?" asked tbe lawyer. "Incompatablllty." "Ah, very good. What appears to be "No matter what I do or say, my husband never falls to reproach me with 'tut, tut" " v- - h Perplexing Prescription. Mrs. McUuIre Is vou ould man anv better since be wlnt to th' doctor's, rs. Flnnegan? Mrs. Flnnegan Not wan bit. Mrs. McGuIre. Sure, It's worse th' poor man is wld his head whirll n' arnun' tryln" to discover how to follow th' loctors directions. Mrs. McGuIre An' what are th' di rections. Mrs. Flnnegan? Mrs. Flnnegan Sure, they do be to take wan powder six tolmes a day, Mrs. McOuire. "If l Take away the tattered page Of my erstwhile ptrty, Dim and soiled and outraged quite Mocked of bland aatlety; Resolutions auch aa they May greet the aeaaon with aplomb. But when the year, old end gray, Tlme'a not a crutch to lean upon Of all that lofty sentiment. I fain would close the vexing- - tale And yet sjfuln experiment. In Public Eye. "Somehow." said the gonial e"t!on official as he seated himself beside tho traveler, "there are some things which lead people to appreciate our wonderful improvements for their convenience and comfort." "Oh, don't worry." laughed the Jolly traveler. "There are some things about your line that are always in the puonc eye." I'm glad to hear that. sir. And would you mind naming them?" tinders, sir cinders!" Ellmlnative Processes, "If you'll notice this year you will see that there doesn't seem to be as g many jokes as there were last season and the season be fore. How do you account for it?" Peter I say, Jimmy, what do they "I dunno; once in awhile a mean by "fearsome" In this here game humorist tipsmaybe over and isn't heard of golfT from any more, same as anybody's s Don't know, Peter, Jimmy else." It's the wsy some folks play. No Control. A Lost Heirloom. Haseball Pltoher (walking the floor fam"There Is no gout In Sir Percy's with bis youngest) If the manager ily. Is there?" could see me now, I bet I'd get soaked "Not now; there was formerly. It with a fine. was introduced into the family by Sir Wife Why ao. dear? Itoland Highllver, but they have been Pltcher I don't seem to have any so miserably poor for the last 200 control of the bawl at all. years that they couldn't keep it up." Puck. TOO ILL TO LOOK WELL. canoe-drownin- on-les- 1 Not Like Hie Grandfather. "Doctor, I'm getting tired of this everlasting dunning. Tou ought to have more respect for me than that My grandfather was one of tbe earliest settlers." "Well, I wish you had Inherited that quality, and would settle early." Too Ostentatious. The Tall Monde Absence makes the heart grow fonder. Tbe Short Ilrunette Hut the Lima. Ohio, man who shot off fireworks when bis wife went away on a vacation made a vulgar display of bis affection. Judge. His Reproof. (coming borne at Are the dear children all right? 11) I haven't set eyes on them since morn Mrs. Votetelgb log. Her Husband Huh! Tou go about siring your views; better you'd stay at borne and view your heirs. Where He Obtained Knowledge. "I don't sea any sense In referring to the wisdom of Solomon," said the man smartly. "He bad a thousand wives." "Tee." answered tbe woman tartly, "he learned his wisdom from tbem. . Mrs. Goodhart Dusty Rhodes No, mum, I didn't look well because I was ill. Statesman's Trials. "Tou must remember not to forget tbe folks back home," advised the veteran statesman. "There Is small chance of my having a chance to forget them so long as there are jobs to fill," replied tba new representative. K ft ; House That Suits. A BAD SEASON. "Has your wife found a house that suits her?" "Well, yes, It suits her. All but tha kitchen range, the closets, the cellar, the front parlor, tbe vestibule, tha lighting arrangements and the dining-roo- m wall paper." Tennyson J 63 Couldn't find work. Perhaps you didn't look welt Its Puffed Proverb. br antl suasion seed. th erervlr spprsvlm&ta. thrvnt mar Thnuch Tmt cannot fnrr-Th aqua pur uln quadruped th to Ingurgltst. Hie Fortune. "I should think It wss a pity Noah and bis sons didn't know anything about poker. It would have been such a diversion In the ark." "They couldn't have played It with any success, because they never bad more than two of a kind." J)) i03)KA- - The Critic Sorry t missed seeing (bat mob scene in your last production. The Actor To which mob scene do you allude? Tbe one In the play, the one in tbe audience, or the one on salary day? On Leap Year. Weary William I wouldn't have many national holidays If I had my a ay only 3fi.ri, that's all. Frayed Philip So yer'd make us pore fellers work one day every four years, would yer, yer slave driver! Technical Enough. ftenlgn Old Gentleman Poor little chap! Where did that cruel boy bit Unanswerable. "My father kin lick your father," said little Tommy Snagg to little Hobby Pluster. "Mebby he kin," said little lvbby to do 1L muster, "but he ain't 'cause my father Is your father's boss." The Hobo as a Teacher. The La'ly look here, you said that if I'd give you your dinner you'd mow the Is wo for me. The Hobo I'd like to, ms'sm. but f rotter teach you a lesson. Never trust th' word of a total strsnger. Bhe t lona-fellow'- s Hsd a Poor Time. you are familiar witt poem: "To Stay at Home Is Pest-H- e ! We were 'avln' Tommy Tes, and I think he matt have a naval battle, an' torpedoed tne in written It Just after retaralng from a Tit Bits. tba angina-roosummer outing. on? fioo-oooo- |