OCR Text |
Show TUAR COUNTY TIMES. NF.PIIT, UTATI JUST FORGOT ltAlratri HIS .MANNERS Man's Remark Mv Do not watt ,ou in rich eonutrh to bur aoltd Mvtt. .Kom-a- bautitully equip your table with Have Held Some Truth, but It Was Not Polite. Oneida Community Plated silver knlrci, lorki, sponna an J They were seated side by side in a fancy pUtcca, anil also with correspond!"?; ware lu tea hfii roilro dlxbea. etc. We alho livo n, street car. He was very Intoxicated She was very and very sleepy. haughty and possessed of a very much wrinkled face. Though he was trying hard, he slm-jdcouldn't keep awake and persisted In topping over on her shoulder. Each time he did It he smiled Ingratiatingly If promslng to do better In future, fcut she was extremely annoyed. Please sit up straight," she said at list, every wrinkle expressing dlsap-- proval. lie woke up abruptly. That made him cross. He murmured something. "How dare you Insult a lady?" she exclaimed. He woke up again. -I didn't," he sputtered. "How dare you contradict a lady?" abe snapped. Here the intoxicated one took a tremendous brace, forced one eye wide epen, sat up straight, and took a long, long look at the very wrinkled face by bis side. "You're not a lady," he muttered at last; "you're a flg!" "Good-moriiln- A typical "mover" of the ultra-Bhlfless type was panning a few days at a cow camp in Arizona, preparatory to y vla ; 1 V- -- Q Wig-on- That gives us cheer along the way. Give us content, with gold and gear-Tho- ugh much or little we possess Let us be glad for what is here On this, our day of thanKfulness. . '88 dizzy Y&fcJ"ted at the least Nyfcir-tion- . Hands ant! feet were cold and he bad such a dragging sensation across the loins that It was to move. lev "v difficult C k ft aw tmlns Iter. E. Heslop. of Dodd. boie, Kidney Pills the swelling disappeared and he felt himself again. He says he has been benefited and blessed by the use of Dodds Kidney Pills. Several months later be wrote: I have mot changed my faltb In your remedy since the above statement was authorized. Correspond with Rev. R Heslop about this wonderful remedy. Dodds Kidney Pills, EOc. per box at your dealer or Dodds Medicine Co.. Buffalo, N. Y. Write for Household Hints, also music of National Anthem (Knglish and German words) and recipes for dainty dishes. All 3 sent free. The graciousness of spreading trees, The changing seasons, wisely planned. The storm and sunshine all of these. For all the brightness of the dawn. And cheerfulness of noon and night. And all that joy is builded on Give us the grace to see aright. I Ilka to klua a ir-ii- y nilna (hum. (ion la r now. iih lllttl Thai km.t la nrvcr In ay. Ciyr1pht. wouldn't say that Rut there are pleasanter ways of getting Into bank ruptcy." for W. O. Chaomao.1 "1 Is NATION'S In or times." "Not, o much of onu as the moth ers' lirVr'r d'd in mine." 6een So. propo"What do you think sal of an electrical spanker for Uad children?" "I think It's shocking." Of-U- iiij It la proposed to harness the Ohln Tlrer near Ixjulsville to generate electrical f iwer. immeftic economy goes lame when woman buys eggs at a bargain sale. Porno things come to to go the other way. All DAY OLD CODGER OF GRATITUDE s paa thatougtr FAMILY OF FIVE Drank Coffee From Infancy. It is a common thing In this country to see whole families growing up with rvois systems weakened by coffes drinking. That Is because many parenta do aot realize that coffee contains a drug which causes the trouble. caffein (The same drug is) found In tea.) "There are Ave children In my family." writes an Iowa mother, "all of wfro-drank coffee from Infancy up rears ago. to 4r "My husband and I had heart trouble and were advlsei to quit coffee. We 4A o and began to lies Post urn. W ow are doing without medicine antrouble sr entirely relieved of t (Caffeine causes heart trouble when nmtinuallr used as In coffee drink hie boy had a weak "Onr eleven-year-olsiteitimi from birth, and yet rave( and was giTen coffee. When we changed to Potum h! liked It and He ha we gav him all he wanU-d- . Veen restored to health by Poetum and still likes It." Namo given bv Postum Co., p.aHl rrcek. Mien. Write for the litttf hoek, "Thfl Rosd to Wellville." Pedum comes la two fortr,: Foulsf Pestum mut be boiled. w1r Intiant Potun la a soluble dissolve quickly In A tejoonful with cream an too of hot wste-an- d. sugar, make A delirious beveraj sell both kinda. "tantly. Grocer "There's a re sac 9" for Postum. . Henry Ward Beecher expressed himself aa beautifully on Thanksgiving aa any man ever has. Said he: "Thanksgiving day Is the one na tional festival which turns on home life. It Is not day of ecclesiastical saints. It 1 not a national anniversary. It li not a day celebrating a r- liglous event. Jt la a day of nature. It Is a day of thanksgiving for the year s history. And It mU plot on the household. It Is the onwgjeat festival of our American life that t.iT?t on tho household. A typical Tliankfgt Ivliir dinner represents everything that crown In all the summer, fit to msk glad the heart of man. It li not a riot ous feast. It Is a table piled high among the group of rollicking young and old. with the treasures of the grow and Ing year, accepted with rej ien Interchange of many festivities as a token of gratitude to Almighty Cod. "Remember God's bounty In the String me pearis oi nis lavor. Hide the dark parts except so far as they are breaking out in light. tivee this one day to thanks, tojoy.togratl-tu,jp.-Lfor Kvery Row's "Pi-ceOccasion." hl y-- s "Home Day." Thanksgiving day n few pleasure-days- . aln. Is of ail our derated to home; th comparatively of the prpi-d'-nt'ho herd th ad proclamation to a'mbie In their various places of worship rarrlv think of any thank offerings beyor.d those Incited by family hl"inc. Let us keep its fradiiions.-Kxcbang- ij. if few h'-ar- aly e "imnk-Sp'ivinj'-D- nisiArve uJr I 1( fnert Irnr mf H Vl In youth 1 bad an appetite that rare slept except at night, and even tbeo I often rose and creeping on my tippy toes atole to the pantry on the aly tc Onish up a pumpkin plo. An ordinary meal for me would sat isfy the needs of three such puny chll dren as we raise In theee degeneratt days. I never saw the kind of cake that banded me a stomachache; and aa fot pie and sim'lar stuff, t never though I had enough. There wasn't any sort ol meat or fruit or bread I couldn't eat. The day of .days In my carper cam 'round on time with every year Thanksciving 16 a healthy boy express es all there Is 6t Joy. Twas then we eaw about the farm the red and gold f autumn's charm The cribs were bursting with the corn; the cheatnut strewed the ground at morn until the little boys were out to gather them with laugh and shout I'ncles and aunts and cousins came tc Join In jest and song and game. Tit little pies were sleek and fat; the tur key ne'er eupictoned that the day ol doom was nar at band, but spread bit tail with manner grand, and gobbled niih the same old pride up to the very day be died. Then came lh? climax of my stor- yThanksgiving dinner in its glory. The family table was Inrreased to twice its usual length at least, and grandad with a solemn faee brgan the feast by took the carving sajine grace. th-knife in hand snd we were off! My! It was grand. The kids were eeated ell they made a Joyful around, ymi sound as th"y beheld the good thing stored so long now heaped upon tb? loard. 1h old folks Jok-d- , the young folks :u!thfd, aid many a mrry toa?t a sat still j'isfT'd. The ki'ls tfuy and ate until they'd polished every flate. old e!rl Tl.ankrglving In the tt t.fat modern feasts by many a mile. I have my pig and turkey sfill but somedon't sem to fill me with how th-the same delight as ben 1 was a little 1 sit In lonely boy of ten. And when state, 'taint like we ued to elbra'e that htpy day ' mirth and Joy ktig since, l.e I was Just a boy. ly bt it r. ( I IS REMINISCENT Like So Many That Have "Had Theli Cake," He Is Here Sighing for the Good Old Days, Henry Ward Beecher Has 6plendidty Set Forth the Season of Universal Rejoicing. making rr.Ht hit Metamorphosis. to the old (returning home town after an absence of twenty years) Well. well, well; how little the village has changed. You Red Splivvlns we boys uned iih Is Red still livto run around ing here yet? Native Is he? Well. I guess. Hey. Ion't you Raldy! Raldy Hpllvvlnit! know your old friends when you see 'em? Come over here and shake hands with Sam Ilankins from New York. Stranger fame lefT POSITIVE aad PERMANENT CURE FOR A Liquor Drug and Addictions U m aaalldty. a. iAxm. LW IraataJ aa (Mr .w. U.m. THE KEELEY IN. STITU1I, U4 W. S..lk TM.aU StrMl. Salt Laka Cht TWc annt.lra.ia MKN ANn WOMKN to learn barber trade. JiXKellnutuppurtuultiea upea tor you". Tool lunii.hed Kd paid while leanuus. Only emlit werka requlrml. Call ur write lur pariiculara and la Uommerulai titrtfl. Suit Lake City, Utah WflNTFD J"'"'' cat-alo- Willie Knew the Came. Willie Anally persuuded hia aunt tcj play train with him. The chairs v;tf9 arranged In line, and he ' ljtf?l orders: i "Now, you be the engltvyr and I'll I end ni ftour watcij be the conductor. He Reproaches Her. and get up intoyour caw Then he He You upbraid me for losing hurried down thoVphtifr', fii, timepleice in hand. "Pull out tltere, you red, money on the races you? d She And why should I not? headed, Iny!" he shouted. He Yet I recall one blissful mo"Why, Willie!" Ms auut ex.claime4 ment, not so long ago, when we stood In' amazement. "That's riRht, chjw the rag," he retogether beneath the silent stars, and you said that no stroke of adverse torted. "Pull out! We're fife minutes fortune could ever draw from your late klready." lips one complaining word. Puck. They havd had to forbid hla playing down by the tracks. Prince Charming. "And you really once saw a prince?" Teaching Higher Branches. "Yes." One day Mr. Smith went to buy a "Oh!" she exclaimed, clasping her bushel of buckwheat for sowing- - Ths hands and gazing with awe Into the man who sold the wheat was away, eyes that had looked upon royalty, but bis wife undertook to make tbo "what was he doing?" sale. She found a peck measure and "Trying to balance a chair on his they went to the granary. amuse to a chin chorus girl." Judge. She filled the measure twice, poured the contents into the bag, and beStrong Presumptive Evidence. gan to tie it up. Man With the Uulglug Ilrow You Mrs. Lawton," eald the man, think I go across the street too often, "it"Hut, four pecks to make a but takes hey? What put that notion In your cocoanut? "Oh, does it?" replied the woman, Man With the Bulbous Nose You'ra the bag. "Well, you see I untying always chawin' some kind o' perfumed never had any experience in meastir- - ' gum. I alIng grain before 1 was married. school." Everybody's. taurfit ways HIS MAIL. MOSTLY BILLS. It Made No Difference. Two women were mutually contid-In- g their troubles. -You can't think how the hih cost of living affects ua," confessed on.. "Why, my bills for clothes alone are more than twice as largo tbSs year as they-- were last year." "Mercy!" gasped the other. "I do not see bow your husband can afford rrwi ' It!" . "That's the answer the first. a farm, didn't you?" "Yes: I grew up on a farm." "Then you can tell me hat 1 want to know. Which side do you milk a cow on?" "Well, It's either the right or the left, 1 can't remember which." bows." Comparisons. roe, He Almost Knew. "Ruggles, you ued to work on "l marriage a failure?" At, ' Turned Up. s His View. 1 plo-face- Co buy "Here's a dime, Willie. something nice." I'll buy an engagement "Thanks. ring fer me goll." Let us remember each Kind word By weight of goodly feeling blest E.ach gentle thing we've said or heard- And blot from memory the resL Give us the grace to see and Know The benefits along the way The many things that help us so. Let us be thanKful every day. Where It Takes Effect Mayor Rockwell of Akron was condemning the claim, often put forward hy tltn rich, that poverty is good for the character. "Poverty is good for nobody," he aid. "It embitters the mind, hard-onthe heart, caur.es unhappinegs and fear and suffering. "There's nothing like adversity, a millionaire once said to me 'there's nothing tike adversity to bring a man out.' " 'Yes,' I replied, 'out at the el- UUunii ' Give us the heart" xo understand Adv. UJ ! -- . vThe mothrs' club ma am. May I ask is at home?" "He isn't." "Perhana vnn rnn tall mo U'hnt I going into the desert on a prospecting want to know. Is he carrvlnir unv life trip. His wife, a tired out, faded out I. iiirance? "Is his life insured? Is that what creature, complained to some of the cowhands of the hardness of her lot; you mean?" and the foreman took it upon blmeelf "Yes, ma'am." to remonstrate with the husband for "It is, sir. Hut don't make the mishis shiftlessness and his Indifference take of thinking he's doing the carryto his wife's welfare. ing of the same. I'm doing that my"The old woman ain't got no kick self. And I'm carrying all he's worth. coming!" said the husband when he Good morning, sir." had heard the foreman's remarks. "She ain't got no kick at all. Why, stranger, Missed the Boat. when we wut flxtn' to camp of a night "Your ancestors did not come over many a time I've driven the team half In the snapped the tall, a mile out, of the way so's wood and spare, Mayflower!"Miss Hester Plym-rocwater would be handy fur the old woman to fetch!" Saturday Evening "No," and Alias Ananias rubbed Post. his chubby hands together, while an o'ly smirk spread over his full moon JUST THE THING. phiz. "You see, It was this The old man forgot to wind up the alarm clock and so missed the boat" Judge. But broaden, too, the soul and mind So that our thanfts will not be found By custom's rule and roto confined Within this one day's narrow bound. Let us be glad for early rain That bids the flowers wahe and creep, Let us be glad for snowy plain vv That holds them in their winter sleep. swol-hktK- f- and if your huMbuiid thin-lippe- Pa.. Buffered from Dropsy for a ear. His limbs and feet were Ha had heart flutter- 4j!K' (DtTIiuu Show us the way to see the good That comes into our lives each day. The blessings dimly understood TESTIMONY. The Rev. Edmund Heslop of CoJau GrM fir D rif?tU C I , A CLERGYMAN'S Water Haul. HARD TO PLEASE. The Real Feminine Power. "So you don't approve of those London suffragettes?" "I don't know much about them." replied Miss Cayenne, "but I can't belp feeling that a woman who can't subdue a few men without the use of dynamite is something of a failure." I V ' he aalj can't," "But he couldn't afford It last year. the difference!" Pittsburg . Chronicle Telegraph. So what's an aT .V 1 Insult Added to Injury. "Well, did he pay you?" asked tho wife of the dentist who bad been to collect a bill for a full set of false teeth that he bad made for a maa Willie Say. papa, where does all almost a year before. the mall come from? "Pay me!" growled the dent'st. Papa Mostly from people ,ou owe "Not only did be refuse to pay me, money to. but be actually bad the crtron.ery to gnash at me with my teeth!" "Her Name la Legion." Pho's the preltlfst mal.lt-Prattle. That evt-- r waa born. "Don't you enjoy the merry prattle lips ara a rM Ht And her tongue la It thorn. of little children?" asked the ruck. "I "Yes," replied Mr. Groucber. Bright Idea, like to bear them prattle. It seems I tzaak Oh, bang It, Mary, forgot a shame that so many of them are the baft. going to grow up and drop this innoMary l)o you suppose the fish cent chatter in order to discuss the would notice the difference if you tariff." were to use spaghnttl? Judge. Not Taking Chances. The Impecunious Artist. "Madam," said the docior. "shit "I wish you to paint me a picture you need Is more exercise. Why don't of Kve and the apple." you walk four or five miles ever "Could you advance me the price day?" of a costume?" faltered the artist. "And have people think we're hal "Why, Eve had no complicated cos to sell our automobile? I guess not." tume." Would Empty It "That's so. Well, rould you advance me the price of the apple?" Well." said Mary, who prided herself on her singing and ' range of An Acceptable Excuse. voire, do you think my voire will fill I am so embarrassed when among that large room ton!ght?" Mrs fashionable, ladies," declared "No," said her cruel brother. "OB Wombat. the contrary." "Why so?" Very Well, "I don't smoke." He had Jut given her a check for "That needn't lose yon any caste Tell the other ladies that your doctor ber first monthly allowance. "1 think." she said coyly, "I shall forbids It." have this photographed." Lltersl Anguish. "To preserve as a memnto?" b "Woman, you are undone!" hissed ssked. her rival in the amateur play. "No, so I can have It enlarged." "Oh, where?" cried the heroine, tryPerhaps Ha Was. ing to g"t a lok at the bark of her w aiftt. "Thi electric treatment benefits your system," said the doc'or, Ths Reason. "Yes," murmured the parent, wto was paying five plunks a visit, f ll Is always dead in earnest." "That arrounts for bis grave there are times when I fel I in over charged." prfssitn." feentl-mentalii- Sensitive Editor. "Well, what do you think of my poem?" "How could you be so cruel?" "What do you mean?" "Why. In every line you have tor tured the English language until I can almost Imagine that I hear it cry out." A TOO CHEAT A RISK. ETA soon Pt I kin ow, The Guide we n be ready for your borry a d'-rbuntin' trip. The Amateur Fp"rt Why. what's the matter with your own dog? The Guide tin? he's too valuable! , An Aerial Navy. 1"r rral It tbt- ri.n t.oat Withlt frw.l rt1 Ti it siThif mfc a chane. vw, Ami th'y ned a eTjr now. Th Pwt firf A Her Pet pLg. "Won't you weigh..my dog?" said the eirl Putting It Differently. Wombat, will yon be mine?" "Never." Tl yoiitig man was jarrd but not wholly diBfouraBf d. Presently he came baf k In this fachion : "Well, will you I"t me b- - your?" Mi? Timely. "Ah! I'm glad to get this sccnet!" The dmeeint r1w'!srit!y arranged exclaimed the editor. tils wales and raf h4 frr the ranine. 'Has It any merit?" asked his as 'I want to S'e if be paine-- i any- sistant. "Not at all, but a stamp was J: thing while L ' as sway," explained "! tw what I needed. The poet girl I Off tt. the Wij'f Aladdin rnbl-egenl appearrd: Wagon. bis lamp and j t!,a 'It's tnv frnt sight of a djlnnphlz." S'ghed A!fjdin. A tvL relied off the water wasoo. -- Jf lK. Man'e Ingred ents. re, ssnj rive, was npip Inotmr flusi ine Usi h fJden Q Denra-- us nr roem. fer wre bef mother heard fcfr exclaim: Oh. matter, theie i enough d istmaa!X;t bere for Gcd to ir.sk nn |