| OCR Text |
Show Thursday; August 23. 15, PAGE FOUR THE LEUI SUN, LEHI, UTAH POLLYANNA COLYUM The banker has to he bard-boiled to keep from being soft-soaped out of his depositor's money. Getting out of debt wouldn't be so bad if it didn't mean getting out of money, too. Sign in a tailor shop window: "The only difference .between a "hot dog" and a 'live dog,' is that one wears tights and the other pants. Try our new fall suits." Uncle Abe says: Some of these girls that would go out and "neck a lamp post" will get in trouble some day. They're liable to strike a newly new-ly painted one. Sam: "Could you tell me, kind sir, 'how I can get green paint off my hands?" Salesman: "flare you tried selling it at a reduced rate?" "I have only ten minutes and I hardly know where to begin," said the speaker. "Begin at the ninth minute," suggested sug-gested a bystander. "Make that ham and eggs pork chops," snapped a restaurant patron. "The chef's too busy - to do any tricks Just ' now," retorted the waitress. Hostess: "That is my sister practicing prac-ticing her music in the next room; she really is progressing by leaps and bounds. Caller: "I wondered how she made all that noise with her fingers." All business concerns like to break their own records except the phono graph companies. The man who bought the canary bird for a song didn't get the bargain bar-gain he thought he did. The bird wouldn't sing. You seldom hear a man brag about what a good boy he was. The captain, taking Inspection, noticed Private Brown had no tooth hrush. "Where's your tooth brush?" he demanded. de-manded. "Here sir," said Private Brown producing pro-ducing a large scrubbing brush. , "You don't mean to tell me you can get that thing into your mouth?" Bhouted the captain, angrily. "No, air," replied Brown, without changing his expression. "I take my teeth out." Where there Is a will some lawyer will find the way. Joan (romantically): "I think the poets are right, George. It's only in the great open spaces that we find ourselves!" George: "Well, we're twenty miles from anywhere, the sun's going down and I've lost the map, so now's your chance!" woman will jilt a man and then hate some other woman to her dying day for marrying him. "Jack's "been jilted by a street cleaner's daughter." "Why doesn't he sewer?" t Trouble with a small town is it takes so long to wait for the postman. Love note to a vegetarian Dear Sweet Patootie Where have you bean? Don't you carrot all for me? My heart beets faster when the sun shines on your radish hair and glints off your turned up nose. If you cantaloupe, canta-loupe, lettuce marry. We will make a happy pear. Let's orange It that way. Your sweet, Corn Onno Cobb. Take no offense at a joke. If one throws salt at you it won't hurt unless un-less you have a Bore place. How different a silk stocking looks when It is not in use. 0 Began Glorious Career The Stars and Stripes were first carried by an American army In the battle of Brandywine, September 11, 1777. Winning Friends If you want friends you must be genuine and sincere In your Interest In other people's lives, their Interests, their fortune? and their misfortunes. Albert E. Wlggam. Victims of Superstition The laws against witchcraft in England Eng-land were repealed In 1736. during the relgn of George II, but the last executions execu-tions took phice In 1716, when Mrs. Hicks and her nliie-year-old daughter were put to death. . Marvelous Canyon The Grand canyon is situated In the middle course of the Colorado river. It Is 217H miles long, ,4,000 to 6,000 feet deep and from 1 or 2 to 15 miles wide at the top. It Is immediately preceded by Marble canyon and ends at the Grand wash. Probably Saved His Life Mrs. Newlywed (indignantly) I've told yon to keep out of the kitchen, Dick. Now see what you've done knocked down my cookery . book and lost my page, and I haven't the faintest faint-est idea what I was cooking. Founded Russian Empire About the middle of the Ninth cen tnry a Scandinavian leader, Rurlk came to Novgorod with a band of war like followers in response to an Invl tation to establish order and unity From this event the Russian histori ana date the beginning of the Russian empire, the foundation of which they place In the year 862. I nger soil's Fine Tribute Probably the quotation to the effect ef-fect that a man would sleep under a blanket of flowers were each good deed a blossom Is the one from Rob ert Ingersoll'g address at the grave of his brother: "He added to the sum of human Joy, and were every one for whom he did some loving service serv-ice to bring a blossom to his grave he would sleep tonight beneath a wilderness wilder-ness of flowers." Forgot His Own Name For a man to forget his own name Is a fairly common freak of memory. One of the most amusing instances is that of a 'famous diplomat who, on paying an official visit at the mansion of an Important member of a foreign government, was unable to give his name to the servant who opened the door. After hesitating a moment, he amazed some companions by Inquiring, earnestly, "Pray, gentlemen, who am I?" I ike an arrow from a bow Buick for 1928 gets away in traffic like an arrow from a bow! Watch the Buicks next time you drive . downtown. See how easily they step out in front when the signal changes. And note how they give other cars the slip in the friendly rivalry of traffic. You cannot say you know the full meaning of "performance" until you've driven ?. Buick for 1928. BUICK MOTOR COMPANY, FLINT, MICH. Dirtuom tf General Malort CrptrtlKM BUICIOIQ28 Telluride Motor Co. Prove, Utah WHEN BETTER AUTOMOBILES ARE BUILT BUICK WILL BUILD THEM All That Is Needed" m' in Newspaper Game A young man asked us our opinion about "entering the newspaper field We answered this, wlse "If he can listen with a smile to tiresome things ne's heard ofttimes before; if he can refuse to do what three or four people" ask him to do without making them mad; If he can write in a way to make people laugh when he feels like cussln', or In a way to make them weep when h feels like cracking his heels together and laughing out loud; If he can re main silent when he feels like he'll burst wide open if he does not talk ; if he can argue without getting mad or making the other fellow mad; 11 he can refuse a woman's request for free publication without making all the members of her set mad at the paper; If he can react to the loss of a good news story and catch a better one on the rebound; If he can explain a typographical error without usinp np more than thirty minutes' time; If he can concentrate and write intelll gent copy while three different conversations con-versations are going on around him. several typewriters clicking away and the telephone ringing and the subdued hum of the presses In the next room drumming on his ears; If he can explain ex-plain why Mrs. Jones' poem on The Sylvan Depth of October Woods' did not appear In the paper without her husband stopping his advertising; If he can take a four-line story and spread it to a half column, or take a two-column story and condense It to two paragraphs; If be can read proofs without overlooking an error and write headlines without murder-ing murder-ing the king's English; if he has a nose for news, an Itch for writine and an inclination to work fifteen hours a day, then we'd advise him to get inr the game." Mineral Wells Index. Mountain Peaks Old Places of Execution Those tourists who delight to stand where tragedies were enacted by Indians In-dians may do so in the Denver mountain moun-tain parks. There is Colorow point, reached after the trip up Lookout mountain, where renegade Utes expiated unforgivable unfor-givable crimes by leaping to their death. The point is 2,000 feet above Clear creek in the canyon of the same name, ana legends handed down are that where an Indian had committed any crime against the tribal laws, which was not forgivable, he went to this point and paid the penalty. Ute laws were immovable. There were no appeals, no postponements in trials and no fines. In certain cases death only was the penalty and the convicted man was his own executioner. execu-tioner. The Indian was not familiar with hanging and other methods of modern suicide. Leaping from a cliff was his means of passing out and he was always al-ways assured of success. Local Items Mr and Mf s. J. B. Stewart, of Salt Lake, visited here Sunday with Mr. Stewart's parents, Mr. and Mrs. H. J. Stewart Mr. and Mrs. J. B. Rose asd three sons and Mr. and Mrs. X. T. Hunt and family formed a party to Saltair Monday. Mon-day. Thelma, cjea and Drew Boss are spending this week in Salt Lake visit, ing with their sister, Mrs. H. B. Robins. Mr. and Mrs. Mayven Fox, of Og-den, Og-den, Dr. and Mrs. Barlow Fox, of Salt Lake, and Mr. Siift, of Chicago, were visiting here Sunday with Mr. and Mrs. Robert Fox. Saturday evening the Third Ward Beehive Girls entertained at a party up the creek in honor of the birthday anniversary of Miss Bertha Brems. A delicious chicken supper was enjoyed by nine girls. The Daughters of the PioseeTa will hold their next regular meeting Thursday, Sieiptember 1st, at the home of Mrs. Ellen Jones at 2 o'clock. All members are cordially invited, to . be present Dr. and Mx. F. D. ' Wiqrjton were capltol city visitors Saturday. Mr. and Mrs. J. B Watson motored, to the Hot Pots Sunday where they spent the day. Mr. and Mrs. Earl Smith asd Miss Josephine Bringhurst visited In Salt Lake Monday with relatives. V Shakespeare's Plav, Shakespeare wrote 37 plays J lag some written In two or three "Interest" A mnguziue nrtlele says that V are a great ninny Interesting about the banking business," ijS-the ijS-the must Interesting is the intefb Southern Lumberman. Famous Violins Opinions differ as to how many valuable val-uable old violins are in existence. The famous London experts, the Brothers H11L some years ago, made an exhaustive ex-haustive search and traced some 500 genuine "Strads over the earth. One of the leading American experts said "400, about," In answer to an inquiry, and added that of the number 100 were of the first rank. Alberto Bach-mann, Bach-mann, in "The Encyclopedia of the Violin," says it is calculated that there are about 3,000 in existence; yet if you would assemble the really genuine genu-ine Stradlvarius violins today you would only find about 100. Reducing Means Explained For no particular reason, the man was inclined to be a bit sarcastic about the woman's recent and sudden sud-den increase in weight He offered loads of advice on the best way to reduce, ending the boresome oration by saying: "And I will tell you one of the best ways In the world to get back a supple and girlish figure Is by washing." The woman in question misunderstood misunder-stood and, saucer-eyed, gasped, "Why, Mr. McRonald, I take a bath every dayl" Drum's Long History The history of the drum is both ancient an-cient and honorable. The Egyptians employed It, and the Greeks ascribed its Invention to Bacchus. The Spanish Span-ish conqueror Pizarro is said to have found drums in South American temples. tem-ples. The snakes of Ireland, we are told, fled from the Emerald isle before the drum-beats of St Patrick. The Puritans of New England used the drum as a church bell, and It figured frequently and romantically all through our Revolutionary and Civil wars. The Last Putt In Washington they tell the story of a golfing clergyman who had been beaten badly on the links by a parishioner par-ishioner thirty years his senior, and had returned to the clubhouse rather dlfgruntled. "Cheer np,H his opponent said. "Remember "Re-member yon win at the finish. TouH probably be burying me some day." "Even then," said the preacher, "it will be your hole." Christian Advocate. PUBLIC LAND SALE DEPARTMENT OP THE INTERIOR, . . . D. S. Land Office at Salt Lake City, Utah, July 11, 1927. Notice is hereby given that, as directed by the Commissioner of the General Land office, under provisions of Sec. 2455, R. S., pursuant to the application of Axel L. Anderson of Draper, Utah, Serial No. 039616, we will offer at public sale, to the highest 'bidder, but at not less than $2.00 per acre, at 10 o'clock A. M., on the 13th day of September, 1927, next, at this office, the following tract of land: NESEV4 Sec. 33, T. 3 South, Range 1 East, S. L. M. This land is ordered 'into the market on a showing that ,the greater portion thereof is moun tainous or too rough for cultivation. The sale will not be kept open, but will be declared closed when those present at the hour named have ceased bidding. The person making the highest bid will be required to Immediately pay to the Receiver the amount thereof. Any persons claiming adversely the above-described land are advised to file their claims, or objections, on or before the time designated for sale. ELI F. TAYLOR, Register. First Publication August 11, 1927. 1 ,nst Publication September 8, 1927. r I Oh Boy! THE NEW FALL HATS AND CAPS Sure Classy. Look At Your Hat-Every Hat-Every one else does. Powers Shoe Store si. v ' 7 ' I 11 "OREM LINE EXCURSIONS BETWEEN ALL STATIONS LABOR DAY SPECIAL ONE FARE ROUND TRIP MINIMUM FARE 50 CENTS SELLING DATES SEPT. 3rd, 4th, 5th Good Returning to Sept. 6th Lindbergh SPECIAL TO SALT LAKE CITY i CENT A PER MILE Minimum Fare 25 Cents SALE SAT. SEPT. 3rd Return Same Day Only U. P. Meet SPECIAL TO PEOVO 1 CENT 1 MTT.T! Minimum Fare 25 Cents f SALE SEPT. 5th, 6th I Return Same Day Only I ASK LOCAL AGENT FOR DETAILS j NOTE : The Labor Day Special applies to U. P. Track Meet, and permits, at slightly higher rate, stopover privileges during period of meet. ALDON J. ANDERSON, Traffic Manager. 1 RIDE ON TIRES BY Recipe for Long Life Anyone who will cultivate the habit of eschewing things that do not agree with him, and of partaking sparingly of things that do agree with him, is booked for a century. Chauueey De-pew. m ifi m of Gonshohocken O F WHAT USE TO YOU is the out-of-doors, the scent of the pines, the ozone of the mountains, the relief from crowds and confusion if your trip is spoiled by tire-madness? Preparedness pays always. The first step is to see the Lee dealer in your town; he's the preparedness prepar-edness expert. From the small car to the luxurious limousine, he knows the right tire. Anybody can fit a tire to a rim, but the Lee tire man will fit tires to the use you expect to give them. For big heay cars, hard driving and overloads, an extraordinary tire, Lee Heavy Duty. For ordinary conditions and normal nor-mal use, the new LeeBalloon, lighter, less expensive. A remarkable value. For stony and treacherous roads or cactus studded prairie, Lee Puncture Punc-ture Proof; you can't drive a nail through the tread of this old masterpiece. master-piece. For smaller lighter cars, either Puncture Proof, Shoulderbuilt (heavy duty), Lee Balloon or Lee-land, Lee-land, depending on your purse and your purpose. Every Lee Tire expresses the Lee tradition of chaftsmanship. The boast of modern methods and best ma-1 ma-1 terials is a Lee boast. But the plus value in Lee tires is the workmanship and skill which make your tire-money tire-money go the farthest. LOOK UP THE LEE DEALER; . HE KNOWS; AND HE HAS THE TIRES. We will make a special introductory price on all sizes for one week. ress Auto S ervice LOCAL FRANCHISE DEALER. All Kinds of Conoco Gas Accessories . Oils 11 |
